CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.

1154155157159160533

Comments

  • queenmomcat
    queenmomcat Member Posts: 2,020
    edited December 2015

    Oh, DecisionFreak! Crazymaking, indeed, from someone who's had mildly interesting dental issues....though not bone loss.

  • SlowDeepBreaths
    SlowDeepBreaths Member Posts: 6,702
    edited December 2015

    Yay Katy!! I bet you're so relieved to be done for today. That is awesome news. Thanks so much for checking in. Get some rest tonight. Gentle hugs to you.

  • DecisionFreak
    DecisionFreak Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2015

    Hey, slow. Thanks for the empathy It is strictly one day at a time.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015

    Would like to share this with you ladies..........a big happiness for me today in my very "in the basement mood"...................

    My grandson who is graduating from HS this June got accepted to several colleges.........he was hoping for and his 1st choices were......Univeresity of the Sciences in P:hila.....for Pharmacy Major or

    University of Pa. in Phila, for Nurse Anestestist...............

    He was accepted at University of the Sciences today.........got a schlorship for his grades.

    Has not heard from U of P yet, but is stearing away from Nursing, so probably won't be disappointed if he isn't accepted.....very, very tough school.......they want 2300 Sat scores.....he had 2000 Sat...........

    Here he is just got this......he is 6ft 3 in......17 years old, 4.0 GPA, and top to 10% in his class of 380 studentsimage

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700
    edited December 2015

    GOOOOOOOOOO, Sean!!! And more than that, Ducky, I am so grateful to Sean for bringing you up a few steps!! So great!

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,434
    edited December 2015

    ((((hugs))) DF! So frustrating.

    Yay for good vision Katy! Get some rest! So glad it went well...

    And Yay for your GS ducky! Congrats to him and yay for the happiness his success has and will bring you!

    Xoxox to all!

    Octogirl

  • cubbie2015
    cubbie2015 Member Posts: 773
    edited December 2015

    Ducky, glad to see Sean got one of his first choice schools. I thought he would. You needed some good news today.

    Katy, yay for 20/20 vision! Now there's something for Santa to bring!

    Second day of rads and the machine broke down already. I thought I'd at least get a couple of weeks in before it went on strike. I know ain't pretty, but this is ridiculous! They got it fixed by the end of the day, so I did not miss my superhero treatment.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015

    Thanks ladies...............

    Cubbie .......oh no.........how awful......that sucks.

    Katy nice to see what is really out there.....I remember that feeling......rest girlfriend....

    And yes some happy news today......this child is my love........he deserves everything good in life.....

    He called me first to tell me..........we are so close..........would give my liffe for him.......

  • rosesrx
    rosesrx Member Posts: 264
    edited December 2015

    {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} to all. Especially to those sitting on the basement steps. I have been on the paranoia loop this past week... reading between the statements and situations. Are they MO and BS telling me everything. Has the troll put a Kelloggs on my computer. Is the contactor and subs taking advantage of me. (decided to remodel the house my mom was in and move to town) and the list goes on.

    Ducky, congratulations to Sean. I wish things would have worked better for the sale of the house. What a beautiful family, time for a "pool party" to empty the house, many hands make light work.

    Chi, the food and trip sound amazing as you savour the tastes and sights across Italy.

    Sula, I read Tender at the Bone by Ruth Riechl. When I get it back I will cook my way through it.

    Katy, got your card today, thanks so much. I have been praying my way across the country daily and lift you up.

    Gaia, it is so good that you have raport with your team. I am just slugging along with my Herceptin and see the NP every month, pretty much routine.

    I do like to listen to the conversations in the waiting room. So want to reach out and encourage, we all seem to be wrapped up in our own heads. It does take work to be kind to ourselves. I try to keep in mind that I would never talk to someone else the way I talk to myself. So ladies remember " You is kind, You is smart, You is important!" No matter what happens we will always be children of God and that can never be taken away from us!!!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015
    Roses..............I understand what your saying........


    As for me I was never a big xmas person..........too many kids......too little money.......running for sales to make it look like Santa was good to them...........fighting the crowds for that one thing they really wanted, but no matter where you went it was "sold out"..............Yes Bah Humbug.............


    My husband was the "Jolly Old Asshole" who loved xmas but sat around like Santa telling the "ELF" what to do, and what had to be done............'He was absolutely a 50's husband who knew only that he was suppose to be the provider (which he did well), but could not boil water..........

    I often wonder had he been here for all the ailing bullshit I went through over the years (he has been dead for 24, very young..only 57 when he died).........would he have survived it......Oh I know I would have (like I already did), but what would he have been like???????????LOL........

    Sometimes "alone" is a good thing"......but sometimes it is awful........as the song from long ago says...." ONE IS THE LONLIEST NUMBER"

    So that is my Xmas story, and I am sticking with it...............this ELF says "BAH HUMBUG"..................LOL........Aren't I just one great big bundle of "Xmas Happy"...
  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015

    Oh by the way.............I love New Years.............Normally because even though I am thankful I got another year of life............I'm glad to see it gone..........and many times wonder "Where it went"..........but I will dwell on the "good things" of 2015............and I know there were many....................all the time realizing..............God is good.....................

  • octogirl
    octogirl Member Posts: 2,434
    edited December 2015

    Good morning crazies....

    I could use a boost and some support on what I know will seem like a relatively small problem, but that is big to me. Tonight is a holiday party I look forward to every year, put on by a club I've been very involved with since 1990 or so...every year it is a highlight of the holiday season for me, and for hubby. I can tell hubby is really looking forward to it; he is making elaborate arrangements for the white elephant gift exchange, and has been chatting about it all week (hubby is not the chatty sort).

    But as for me: not so much, because with my scarf or hat and almost-eyebrow-free face (and I can't/don't do makeup well if at all), everyone will know something is up. A few of the club members are very close friends who I've told about the bc but I haven't told most of the group, and haven't been to a club meeting since shortly after dx. That part is easy to explain away, as the club is in my old home town, a 2.5 hour drive from where we live now (we moved several years ago, but have stayed active in the group, including going on group trips.). The plan is to drive in this pm, stay in a hotel near the party location, attend party, drive home tomorrow am.

    So, if I don't go, hubby will be very disappointed, and I would be sad not to see my old friends...but I am just not looking forward to having to answer questions or deal with any pitying looks from those I don't know well or don't feel close to. My friends who know are not gossips, and may not have told anyone in the bigger group (part of me wishes they had).....and well, in any case, I am just not in a party mood this year! I feel like putting a big sign around my neck: 'no questions. let me sulk in the corner. get over it.'

    Adding to my anxiety is the fact that I am still stressed about my (lack of) hair: it just isn't growing back as quickly as I thought it would and a big part of me is convinced it never will grow back. A week or so ago, hubby thought it was coming in, but it hasn't changed in that week...Rightly or wrongly, my hair seems to be defining me at the moment. I know, I am crazy that way.....

    It isn't a big thing in the big scheme of things, but I could use a little cheerleading from the crazies...'You can do this, Octogirl'. Can I do it?

    Hugs to all;

    Octogirl

  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 1,617
    edited December 2015

    ((((Octo)))). I know you must be in such a quandary. I know you can pull this off. If you want to. If you don't want to go one time, one year, just this one year, or go with your husband to the hotel and stay back at the hotel with a "migraine" and it completely ruined his Christmas, (which it wouldn't, not completely) it would be ok because nobody NOBODY knows what you've been through and what it will cost you to make yourself do this. You don't HAVE TO. And it's ok.

    Your hair is coming back.

    If you do decide to go, work on a short script that you can live with, two sentences, with a smile, that you just finished tx ( a bit of a white lie) for a bitty BC and you are FINE, and are here so your DH can enjoy, so please no questions tonight, and sail off with your lovely scarf trailing in the wind and nose and champagne glass held high. You can pull that off if you CHOOSE to. Stay one hour and go back. Let DH stay longer and you disappear.

    The people you care about will love you no matter what. The people who don't will understand too, or not, but they don't matter.

    Never forget, you have this:

    image

    (courtesy:Sula)

    Most important- REMEMBER- you cannot make a wrong decision about this. Anything you do will be ok. You will be forgiven. You better forgive yourself or I may have to come down there with my one good eye and kick your ass. It's OK. REALLY. we all love you and your hair is coming back, we've never seen your hair and we love you.

    And never forget the mystical way the world works. Whatever you do or don't do, you may unknowingly give someone else information or power for themselves, without you ever knowing it. Either way. You cannot fail in this decision.

    Much, much, love.

    K

  • rainnyc
    rainnyc Member Posts: 801
    edited December 2015

    What Katy said (holy cow, Katy, you are so wise).

    Especially the part about no wrong answers. I'd even be willing to bet that your DH knows you well enough to be understanding if you decide not to attend. And if you do, yeah, you need that script. But this sounds like a warm and welcoming group, people who know you well and will be accepting. Good luck, whichever way you decide.

  • SlowDeepBreaths
    SlowDeepBreaths Member Posts: 6,702
    edited December 2015

    YAY Ducky!! I had no doubts that Sean would get a great offer!!

    Rose, (((((Rose)))) Truer words have never been written. We get wrapped up in our own heads. They key is finding a way to step out.

    Cubbie, My rad machine broke down a few times too. I'm ashamed to say I got so mad one day about waiting, I walked out and missed my zapping for the day. That showed them. hahaha....the only person I hurt was myself, but it sure felt good at the time!! I was so grouchy during rads.

    Octo, You CAN do this!! Rah, Rah, Rah..... ((((((((Octo))))))))).....put that wig on, draw on those eyebrows and hold your head HIGH!!! Ok, that was the cheerleading portion of the program.

    Now for some practical advice. I had a few social things I really didn't want to go to at the beginning while I was waiting for that pot to boil (hair). Remember the days when we were told to picture everyone in the audience naked when you had to give a speech? Well, I tried to picture everyone I came across with no hair or eyebrows. For good measure, I pictured them without eye lashes too. It may seem like a simple, silly thing, but it really does help to keep your mind occupied. I almost giggled out loud a few times.

    Katy ALWAYS has wise words. If you really feel like you CAN'T do this....yes, use the cancer card!!

    Iris, Where are you??? Not like you to be so quiet. I hope all is well. :)

    EFT


  • DecisionFreak
    DecisionFreak Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2015

    octogirl, I lost the post I was working on. Then, when I got to the site, I found that Katy had done a fantastic job, and I was off the hook. I am voting ditto to what katy said.

    katy, wow, that was an inspired piece of writing!

    octogirl, I don't think you even need to stay an hour. You can ride in late with the attitude that people at the party are fortunate to see you even for a short appearance. You can hold a drink of whatever you want in one hand and a little plate of food in another. That keeps you from having to hug anyone. Tell everyone you see how beautiful she looks. She will feel so great, she will not even be looking at you. Smile like a movie star being followed by the cameras. Then you can excuse yourself to the loo and run back to the hotel.

    Or, don't go at all.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015
    Octo............Screw everyone and the horse they rode in on................do whatever your heart tells you to do...............whatever makes you feel good.........and whatever your comfortable with..................and like my kids would say..........."MOM STOP FLATTERING YOURSELF EVERYONE ISN'T ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT OR LOOKING AT YOU".............but then my kids don't know "diddely shit".
  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 391
    edited December 2015

    What your eyebrows mean

    Hi Octo, I haaaaaaaaaated going out in new social situations when I was bald too! And eyebrows. Oi. Such a pain. No one wants to be cancer spokesmodel 2015! This video is pretty crass, but if you can get past that, pretty spot on about the eyebrow issue. (((Hugs))))

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015
    LOL......when your all my age you lose 50% of them whether you have cancer or not...............just look for the "old ladies"..........next to them you will look maaaaaavalous..........
  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015

    The temps have dropped here in the Philly suburbs.......wind is whipping around out there............and I have to go out in this tonight..................OH WHY DID I SAY YES TO THIS DAMN CONCERT..............and who the hell is the Trans Sebastian Orchestra anyway........................................................the things we do for our grandchildren....

  • Valstim52
    Valstim52 Member Posts: 833
    edited December 2015

    Hello I was just diagnosed. I may have inflammatory bc and I have multiple masses all in same breast. Biopsy will tell me the stage but I just know it's a 3 or 4. I see surgeon for core biopsy Tuesday and surgeon again on the 30th. So afraid they will say there is nothing to be done.



  • DecisionFreak
    DecisionFreak Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2015

    Hey, ducky, can't octo ride into the party on a horse?

    I am very grumpy today. Bah humbug! I will not tell you crazies what happened when the home health nurse told me to give my mother two to three stool softeners with no fiber. My mother who is on chemo has a great appetite.

    octo, the takeaway is to you be who you are girlfriend. We all imagine what WE would do if we were in your shoes. It is our way of cheering you on whatever you decide to do.

  • DecisionFreak
    DecisionFreak Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2015

    Jeez, crazies. My brother has such a kind heart. I am suspicious of everything! Yesterday when the medical equipment supply company finished packing up the medical bed, the company man that did the pick up asked us to sign paperwork. I asked my brother to sign it.

    I glanced at the paperwork today and saw that we had signed a statement saying we had requested pickup or that the physician had ordered pick up of the bed. We did not request pick up. The company called and said they had to pick it up because Medicare would not pay for the bed. The company got us to tell a big fat lie in the paperwork.

    Fuckity, fuckity.

  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 1,617
    edited December 2015

    Vastim52- hello and welcome to Crazytown. I am so sorry you find yourself here. There is probably no crazier time than that sliver of time that wears like an eternity. That moment between knowing you have it but not knowing what you're going to do about it.

    You are welcome here, to hang out with us while you wait. We are all in different stages and phases of life and Crazy, but everyone of us has been where you are right now and we know it's not a good place. You will get through this. You can post any time here and some one will be along to hold your hand for a bit.

    Stay off Dr. Google. That's an order. If you want some distraction, go back and read how this thread got started and some of the sad, stupid, and hilarious things we have done to ourselves, because BC can drive a person f&$8ing crazy.

    In time you will get the pieces of information you need to put your personal puzzle together. It's rarely as bad as we imagine, and you will feel better and more in controlonce you have a plan. That cannot and should not be rushed. Try to breathe, sister.

    Many hugs,

    Katy

  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 1,617
    edited December 2015

    DF- oh nooooo. How very frustrating. I am so sorry you have to deal with that mess on top of everything else. They "they" all are experts at trying to screw you and CYA. Poor Ani- I know she loved her bed.

  • DecisionFreak
    DecisionFreak Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2015

    Vastim52, it is a rollercoaster ride. I am not a doctor, but I am amazed at what is being done now for patients at every stage of bc. My mother got her bc diagnosis at age 77 or so, and then we found in March 2015 that the cancer had spread to her bones and liver. Metastatic breast cancer like my mother has is being treated now. My mother is 85, and she is undergoing chemotherapy with an excellent drug! I think Katy has a point that things are often not as bad as they seem.

    This is a thread with many amazing women who have gone through similar experiences to yours.

    Soon, the Welcoming Committee for Crazy Town will throw out the red carpet for you.

    You can call the American Cancer Society to talk to a live person. ACS can also pair you up with a bc survivor near where you live. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to the crazies on this thread.

    Come back and visit often. Tell us what is going on. This is a safe place.

  • PoppyK
    PoppyK Member Posts: 1,275
    edited December 2015

    Octo, Thinking of you as you make your decision about the party. I had wigs that I wore to social events AND NO ONE even knew I was wearing one. Maybe run out and get a wig. I felt weird in the wigs, but no one else could tell.

    Ducky, I posted on another thread about the Trans Siberian Orchestra. They are quite amazing. Here's the link:

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=trans-siberian+orchestra+christmas+music&view=detail&qpvt=trans-siberian+orchestra+christmas+music&mid=BF2662381C27DF49534CBF2662381C27DF49534C

    Welcome Valstim, Excellent advice from Jackie! I would add to record your meeting with your docs next week. Write down a list of questions. The best question I asked was "What number should I call when I have more questions for you?" The doctors can always do something to treat breast cancer. Treatment options have come a long way and it's not like it is on tv. Read the applicable info on breastcancer.org. I also recommend Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book. An updated edition was released in September. You can find it on Amazon or at the library.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015

    imageimageVal......my formal welcome........I am the oldest (80), funniest, smartest, prettiest, sexiest, one on this website.....and I also am a member of the Mile High Club.....ask my Pilot......

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited December 2015

    Val.....once you get a plan in order it gets a little easier..........true....stay off of Web MD......

    Come back here often........greatest bunch of broads you will ever know...........they listen when everyone else including your family, friends, kids, etc who do not understand what it is like to go through this........we do.........

    Hugs Sweetie......we are here for you...............

  • DecisionFreak
    DecisionFreak Member Posts: 435
    edited December 2015

    katy, my first inclination was to get the TV cameras out to film the medical bed being seized from an 85 year old woman with cancer. tomboy troublemaker 😘egged me on. I didn't send out the email to the news director at the local TV station after my brother got upset about the idea.

    My brother says he will not stand in my way ever again. We will figure out what to do. It is not a tragedy, but it is a symbol of this world we are living in.