Anyone starting chemo August 2016?
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Kz I think I'm feeling like Jiffrig- my husband is taking the day off, and others have offered to sit with me, but I'd rather just chill on my own. Need to bring my own ice chips, should be interesting to see how this all goes.
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Hi everyone!
Welcome all to our little group!
Patti - Big hugs!
Lisbeth - I am going to feel so ridiculous with the wigs and hats. Sigh. Oh, well. What can we do?
Hi Kacey - I have a 4-year old at home, too. I haven't told him much - sort of need to know. I hate that people are avoiding me, too. I lost one of my best friends to cancer a few years ago and it was painful to watch certain people just avoid the situation. Strangely - some of those people have been extremely supportive of me. You can apply for a real hair wig from https://lollyslocks.org/ . I know a couple of ladies who had them and said they were really nice. I have a couple of cheaper synthetic wigs, there is no way I can afford a $2,000+ wig.
Dara - I hear what you are saying with "then you put on the wig or the hat and..." It is like that is the final nail how the rest of the world identifies me. I want to be able to be selectively private about this, but the hair loss makes that so impossible. It's tough. And you definitely deserve a treat
I hope you enjoyed that cake!Michelle - I started 8/11 - it isn't really important except that Thursdays are my "day" and I would like other "Thursdays" to know I'm with them
Side effects have been the pits for me. I had some pretty aggressive diarrhea last week (scary since I am pregnant). Mouth sores, metallic taste, total exhaustion yesterday (my nadir, I think). All little stuff, but I kind of thought I was out of the woods after day 6. Then things seemed to begin. They aren't horrible at all.
I also struggle with the people who want to call and talk and get lots of updates. It's like, I'm okay. Going bald. Have diarrhea. Got several months left. But mostly okay. No one wants to hear this - or maybe - I don't want to tell anyone this stuff! What do you guys say to the general person?
Anyway, I have another round of AC on Thursday, but I will be checking in before then.
Lots of love to you all!
Annie
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Well, I decided today was the day to shave my head. My hair was coming out by the fistfuls and I just don't want to keep pulling it out. So, when my DH got home, he shaved it for me. Bless his heart. That was tough for him to do, but neither of us wanted anyone else to do it. I actually feel better now that it's done and I know what I will look like so I can stop stressing about it.
For those asking about what to take in your bag, here's what I took to my first treatment and I'll list whether or not I used it. I will be downsizing for my second treatment tomorrow! lol
Gum (yes), hard candy (yes), snacks (no), chapstick (yes), phone (yes), charger (no), ipad (no), book (no), journal (no), blanket (yes), pen and paper (no), magazines (no), water (yes, lots), earbuds (yes), tissues (yes), jacket (no). For me, the IV benadryl made me feel really drunk, so I was in lala land for the first 2 hours and my phone looked blurry and I wasn't able to concentrate on what was on the screen! I was pretty much spaced out and just watched the olympics on the tv they had on. I did doze off and on. My treatment lasted 3.5 hours. I hope that helps!
I hope everyone has a wonderful evening! Big hugs!
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djm71- your list helps so much along with the others- thanks so much! It's good to know you're feeling better after the shave. I had a weird encounter at my daughter's school, and I still have hair. Sitting watching her practice, with a few other people. Another mom walks in- obviously doesn't know I have cancer and loudly says "you cut your hair!!", yes, and she kind of said a couple other things (she was nice- don't get me wrong), but I now feel all the eyes on me, knowing some know- and some don't. So I said well it'll all be gone soon and then I can't even get the words out and mouth "I have breast cancer" and start crying! Crap- I'm pissed I'm crying because I don't feel bad for myself, but don't feel bad for me. Then she comes over sweetly (again- don't be nice) and then another mom hugs me (stop the hugging). I know on top of it I'm hormonal (still not in menopause). So that sucked! I think that's just why it's the worst part- like someone said you can hide the surgery aspect (I'm assuming- haven't done that yet), but the hair is just obviously.
Good luck tomorrow djm71.
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Ajbclan, I always fall apart when people are nice, too. :-( Well then and when the radiology tech asked me in front of a male stranger what surgery I was having, that after being kept waiting in a gown in a common waiting room for 45 minutes with my boobs hanging down to my waist.
This situation is very challenging. Know that you're going to lose your composure and that's perfectly understandable.
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KZ - It's really up to you if you want to have someone there with you. You definitely want a ride there and home the first time. In fact, I was told that driving myself the first time was not an option. I had my DH take me and pick me up. He wanted to stay, but I told him to go to work and at least get a few hours in. Then he wanted to go to my second infusion, and I told him I'd be fine to drive myself. In some ways, I think he was a bit hurt. But I reminded him that he should save his days off for times when I absolutely can't drive. I had a friend offer to go with me any time, but I'm good being there alone. Everyone is different. Let people know what you need or don't need. This is about you.
kaceyr & ajbclan - Sorry you have to do infusions on your children's first day of school. BC doesn't exactly ascribe to our schedules, does it?
Erdie - You must be very patient. If a PA ignored me when I asked about how to deal with a rash, I think I'd lunge at her and pin her down until I got a plan in place...or maybe start bawling uncontrollably. It's one thing to tell you there really aren't options and another to ignore your question.
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OH! I almost forgot. I saw the PS today and he said the infection is all gone.Yay! I also was able to get my port appointment \ on the 26th of August, (the day before my birthday) so will be able to start my chemo on September 2nd as planned. I am so relieved.
xoxoMichelle
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Hi Lori,
I had my lumpectomy also on July 5th, 2016. Now I am beginning chemo on Friday, August 26th. I am apprehensive and scared. My doctor recommended chemo for me and I went back and forth on it. I asked anyone I knew what they thought I should do. Well, I finally decided to do it. I keep reading the info I am getting from my doctor and the more I read, the more I think, " Do I really have to do this?" I wish you and everyone else in this group good luck.
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well it was day 4 today and wow what a difference! I was out most the entire day, went out for dinner with my kids and only had one nap! I feel like I turned a corner today... And am so thankful. Had my port accessed today for a blood draw and it was pretty easy too! All in all a good day.
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Hello to my support group friends!
I had my chemo class today. It was a one on one with the PA. Went ok, but she didn't like all my questions. Interrupted me after about my third question and asked what I do for a living. I said I'm a stay-at-home mom--didn't feel like telling her what I did before that. I asked why she wanted to know and she said she doesn't usually get questions. Wow, really, NO questions?! I stayed calm though and didn't get snippy like I felt like doing. I don't believe in just letting the doctor's tell me what to do, I like to educate myself so I can ask the important questions. I can't tell you how many times asking questions has saved me or my loved ones from medical mistakes, some of them quite serious. Even at my port placement I heard the woman that weighed me tell the nurse (in kilograms) my weight, and I thought to myself, I don't think that is what it said on the scale so I asked her to repeat it (which irritated the nurse) and then I converted it on my iPhone to pounds. They had me 70 pounds under my actual weight. I am sorry but I have not weighed 100 pounds in quite some time. It was in Kilograms which we aren't used to in the U.S., so it was easy to not notice the mistake. Not a huge mistake, but they use weight to calculate the twilight meds so if we hadn't caught it, I would have been under dosed that's for sure--better than over dosed, but still... On a positive note, the rest of the staff at my port placement surgery were so patient and kind--I should bring them a box of donuts.
I can't stand medical people that don't like questions. I can understand when they have patients that believe everything they read on the Internet but I only go to reputable sites like Mayo, Johns Hopkins...and of course listen to people like this group who are living through it. When I asked her questions about things I learned from this group, I phrased it "My friend in my support group told me...", I didn't mention that we are an Internet support group, haha! I did not want to hear one more time "Don't believe everything you read on the Internet". I think I will get a t-shirt made that says "Actually, I don't believe everything I read on the Internet, but I also don't believe everything my doctor tells me" or "If you don't have the patience for questions, don't work with patients" Haha, I like that one, just made it up. Sorry, getting negative thinking about today. The PA was condescending to my husband too. After she told me that if I get a temperature of 100.5 or higher to call them immediately or go straight to the ER, my husband asked "are there any other symptoms that we should watch for that would be considered an emergency" and she said, "yes, if you get hit by a car, if your bone is sticking out of your skin, if you get caught on fire..." on and on she went. How rude! That was a legitimate question and he was worried about me.
Not a good way to start off my chemo week. I start chemo Thursday 8/25. I sure hope the nurses who administer the chemo are nicer. Maybe I should bring them a box of donuts as a prophylactic measure.
Yesterday, I finally got a chance to start at the beginning and read through all the posts in this group, and I can't thank you all enough for all the great things I learned. It helped me so much with my questions for my chemo class--it tripled my list of questions, hehe. My PA thanks you too. LOL!
I think I'll send the PA this video "Are You a Difficult Patient" by Brian S. Wojciechowski, M.D. (Oncologist) to watch. If you haven't seen it, I think it's well worth watching. I want to read the book he references, "The Patient Will See You Now" by Eric Topol.
Thanks everyone for listening to my rants and for sharing all your great information and words of wisdom! It's weird how this group fills a void that I didn't even know I had until I joined in. I'll share some of the things I learned at my chemo class in another post.
Well off to read a book and hopefully fall asleep soon. Listening to a wonderful thunderstorm outside, hope we are getting some rain.
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Erdie, first off, I can't thank you enough for the link to Wrapunzel! That site is awesome both for the videos and also the scarves. I just ordered $130 worth, but love the pouf under cap and all the scarves average $10, so mud cheaper than the stores, even places like Marshalls or Target! As for my allergist, I actually went to my dermatologist as my problem is auto immune with psoriasis. The MO was the one who told me that chemo suppresses the immune system to kill the cancer cells. Allergies spike the immune system to fight the allergens. Hence any like allergies or autoimmune diseases actually improve during chemo. As my sone says "A silver lining to chemo!" Sorry about the cold caps. It's why I decided not to even try. I don't think I could have done all that is required to use them. Good luck to others using them though!
Annie, there's no way I can afford $2000 for a wig either. I bought one at a wig store in Laguna Beach that has a really good cap under it and they will cut, style etc, even resize it. I thought I was being extravagant paying $400 for it but know that real hair ones are $2000+ The thing is, I finger with as slowly as my hair grows I will need to wear something for about 18 months after I stop chemo. That's a LONG time!
Yesterday I wasn't even on this link as I went to visit my daughter and 3 grandchildren for my granddaughter's 2nd birthday. It was so much fun, but then I crashed on the way home. Little ones expect me to play and be the same and I hate to let them think I'm "sick." It just drives home to me what those of you with small children experience every day. I was never so happy to sit and play a game of Uno with my 7 yr old grandson! I had also tried to fix my own hair so I would look pretty much the same, but boy, being outside in the sun, I could feel my scalp burring almost immediately.
Are most of you testing low for vitamin D? I'd read that studies are showing most with bc have low vitamin D.
KZ, I've had someone with me every single appointment, but I agree with Jiffrig that I almost wish I could go sometimes by myself. My DH won't miss one appt. He's really good, but then I feel badly with him sitting in an uncomfortable chair all day. My son and DIL have gone to the MO appts also. It was like a big ol party the first time and the MO could barely open the door and come into the room! I have just taken the perspective that people want to help and there isn't a lot they can do, so if coming with me to support me helps, then it's OK. Luckily school is now starting and all my kids are teachers so my DH will be the only one coming. I did feel tired afterward, but I know people who even drive themselves. I just have 1 1/4 hr drive so it's nice to have a chauffeur.
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Dara, I have psoriasis also. I was on bi- monthly infusions of Remicade up until diagnosis, so I am totally clear, but you are right about chemo. So nice isn't it? Unfortunately, once chemo is over it is coming back. Does your Derm have a plan at that point.? I am afraid of the Remicade due to cancer risk, although my MO said it is more lymphoma risk (😩) than breast. I have such a similar scenario with my kids, too. I have 4 and 5 grands (<5 years old), all here in STL. All want turns coming with to chemo! It does help with keeping positive and upbeat around the little ones, doesn't it? The grands just see Grandma, not cancer
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DaraB- I think we maybe be close to each other- I'm in Orange County. It is interesting how everyone wants to come sit at the chemo treatments! Could be a party if you let them all come- very nice to have the support- but I will be encouraging the husband to go get something done if he's taking off work lol. That's interesting about Vitamin D- I already take it almost daily, so that's a bonus I guess?
Lisbeth- wow.....I did get a little of that- well the people posting on the boards have issues, so that's why the post, but now that I'm here with you all- it's not like that, and I am too super happy I was able to walk in with the questions that the group has sparked for me. I'm sorry they were not as receptive but fingers crossed your nurses will be. I want to watch the video later- thanks for posting.
Hopefloats- yea!! glad things are good and gives me some hope (no pun intended).
MFabella- awesome! So glad things are looking up and moving forward for you.
CandyHB- I'm sorry you're not feeling confident. I haven't started, so may change my tune tomorrow (lol)- I guess I guess I always knew that if I got any breast cancer it was going to be take it all, get rid of it asap. I've watched my mom go through cancer 3 times. I've been watched for 15 years, so I bawled when if finally came to be- but will lose my hair to this poison but want this crap gone.....and I know from previous meetings with oncologists back with my mom- to my current- those cells are small and can't always be seen on screenings- so I'm hitting the chemo right off the bat to keep any potential floaters a firm death. But - everyone is different- I have a history of cancer so have thought about it off and on for years- easy for me to know what I was doing. I wish you the best- it's ok to vent and ask here.....
Oh- and I must have chemo brain prior to chemo- my daughter started school today! LOL- just 1/2 day, but my 1st treatment isn't until tomorrow. Duh! I had my husband all thrown off because I kept saying it was on her first day. Oops.
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Ajbclan - tomorrow is our big day. Sending love and hugs your way.
I was so busy at work today. That did help to not think about for a while. They aren't expecting me to come to work Thursday but I said if I feel up to it, I'll be there but had to make accommodations in case I'm not.
Picked up a Gatorade to add to my bag lol.
A friend at work brought me a dozen pink roses today. Totally made my day.
I don't think I'm nervous but a little fear of the unknown maybe.
Thoughts are with you and everyone on this journey.
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kz1966 I think I'm over packing like I do with everything else! Those flowers would have made me cry lol. I took my steroids today and was waiting for the cleaning frenzy- no, nothing lol. I can't believe you're trying to work- good for you! I have a part-time job and it exposes me to the public too much so the oncologist and esp my husband don't want me doing it. If i feel ok I told my boss I'm happy to work in the office with any projects she can drum up. My job is a cliff hanger....you'll all have to wait haha.
I may try and bring my computer and I'll try and see if I feel like typing to you all tomorrow! Let's get this crap rolling.... so we can move on!!
Hugs, hearts and prayers to the new friends here........
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hi CandyHB. I start my chemo on Friday the 26th as well. Nervous but anxious to get this show on the road. Good luck!
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ajbclan & kz1966 I will be praying for you two tomorrow. When I finally had my chemo it was almost a relief. I packed magazines, my iPad & some crossword puzzles .... Didn't touch anything but my blanket and water in my bag ... My husband took me but my son & 2 friends showed up to check on me and take pictures that I would post if I knew how to 😬 I felt great for a few days after then it hit ... But one down!!
LisbethS ... Vent on sister that's what we are here for ... To vent & encourage each other. Your PA was rediculous ... Mine was fantastic I ask so many questions every time I see her or my MO ... I may be irritating to them but so be it.
Hey, hey OC girls I lived there in the old days 😎
MFabella .. Yay finally you have some dates and can proceed.
Yesterday I had my Wellness class with two ladies that are both triple negative and I told them about our wonderful group and I was even able to give them some tips I've learned from our group. I feel blessed by y'all.
Today I met with the cardiologist because now I also have an irregular heart beat and he talked to my MO and I am on two meds for that ... It just keeps getting better ❤️
Hope everyone has a restful night.
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Hi Momto1boy,
Yes, Friday is the day. I was very anxious today, thinking about it but also wanting to get started. I have to remember to take that pill (Ondansteron) the night before. Do you have to take that? I guess it is to get a head start on the nausea. I am planning on bringing my Kindle (I have lots of free samples of books on there), I can play a few games like Cookie Jam and Candy Crush. Have to bring a Pepsi and a snack. The nurse who did my chemo education told me that some of the ladies call out for subs from Jimmy John's. Sounds like it might be a fun group. I've been trying to get the house cleaned and in order before Friday because who knows how I will feel afterwards. By the way, my husband and I traveled to Toronto several times when we lived in Detroit, MI in our younger days. It is a beautiful city. He loves hockey so we would see the Maple Leafs play.
Hope all goes well on Friday. We can compare notes.
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Dara B - they haven't tested my vitamin D. Maybe because I'm in AZ & with my fair skin it only takes about 10 mins a day to get a daily dose of vitamin D. But, I can tell you that the only health advise i've gotten from any of my doctors in regards to lifestyle-food, exercise, supplements etc., was from the radiologist MD who first diagnosed my cancer, she said get your morning sunshine for vitamin D every day. I know there are lots of vitamin D and cancer studies.
Kz1966 & Ajbclan - good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you. Sending warm fuzzy's your way.
CandyHB & Momto1boy - you're starting your chemo the day after me so I'll wish you luck now in case I don't feel up to being on here. Warm thoughts coming your way.
Caligirl55 - sorry to hear about your irregular heart beat. Do they think it is caused by chemo? It sounds like they are being pro-active and jumping right on it. One day at a time.
I'm supposed to start chemo this Thursday 8-25, but went in today to pick up my meds and my chemo hasn't been approved by insurance yet. But I'm supposed to start on the Decadron steroid tomorrow, and I'm assuming I want to take it early in the day because of the insomnia it causes. Ugh!
My kids started school two weeks ago and have already both brought home colds, my son (10) is over his but my daughter has a terrible cough. I haven't even started chemo and I feel like wearing a face mask. And to top it off my daughter (13 year old) got her first period last week. It's been an emotional rollercoaster around here.
Take care everyone!
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Happy Wednesday, lovely ladies! Welcome to Candy & Momto1boy. It is good to have you with us...even though none of us wishes we had to be here. I have my infusions on Fridays as well and will be praying for you and thinking of you this week as you get started.
Lisbeth - Wow! That PA was horrible! Pretty sure I could not have been patient with her (no pun intended). Did she ever answer all your questions?
I had a less offensive but similar experience with the BS who did my two lumpectomies early this year. I went to her because she was the most skilled doc in the local region, and I did like her. Some things she said to me really never set right with me. In the end, I had my BMX at another facility (with the doc who'd done my 2nd opinion). That turned out to be the best choice I made in this ordeal. Looking back, I wish I'd have made the choice sooner. No regrets. But definitely a lesson learned. I forget if you mentioned your former line of work, but it was obviously in the medical field.
I spent my 20s working in a hospital and medical office. One of my jobs was in an OR. With the surgeries I've had in the past year, I always make sure to get to know my circulating nurse and thank her ahead of time for correctly counting all the sponges that go in and out of my incisions. I thank the nurse anesthetist as well and let her (or him) know that I'm aware that she is one of the most valuable parts of my team. I usually throw in that she is the one running my show...not the anesthesiologist.
Dara - Glad you had a good time with the grands and that your family is so very supportive. I don't have kids, so I just borrow other people's kids to love on.
Well today is the first day of school in the district where I work. Going to don my spiky hair style and make the kids think I'm cool. I have my station all set up with masks, gloves, hand sanitizer, Lysol wipes, alcohol wipes, etc. My MO says, "think hand sanitizer constantly". I've already begun that pattern at work and home. The secretary in the building where I'm based has set up the office bathroom to be user friendly for me...paper towels where I don't have to crank the dispenser. She's also Lysol spraying all the door knobs for me. Love the support and the kind gestures. Now to keep all those little walking germs at bay. Since I work in the technology department and all our kiddos have devices (iPads or laptops), I end up handling lots of things they've touched. So I'm going to make my #1 job avoiding illness. Here goes...
Wishing all of you a blessed day filled with everything good. Love you all!
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Hi Ladies! I'm going to bring my computer to treatment today- hoping that I can catch up here.....I just read a quote on Instagram from Jillian Michaels (she's that workout guru that was on the show "Biggest Loser" for a long time)- she actually doesn't post too many workouts, but has some great quotes, and a lot are funny. Todays I thought was appropriate for all of us:
Don't be afraid of being out numbered,
Eagles fly alone.....
Pigeons flock together
Resonated with all of us losing our hair, and fighting this battle.... we are Eagles, we won't look and feel healthy like those in our worlds, but it's ok to be different.
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Lisbeth, the one other thing my MO said was that I should avoid antioxidants, especially supplements and vitamins, including extra Vitamin C when going through chemo. He said those protect cells, and while on chemo our bodies can't differentiate between good cells and cancer cells. Hence we don't want any cancer cells to be protected from the chemo. And of course drink as much water as possible to keep kidneys flushed. I read in one book that we should drink a minimum of 100 oz per day. Water tastes a little weird to me, so I add a tiny bit of raspberry crystal light to take the yuck out of it.
Fireheart, Good luck on your first day! Are you at an elementary or high school? I taught high school for 17 years and then went into administration. The kids (even hs) were always coming up and coughing in my face, so cute! I loved the classroom but never had all the devices they have now. Technology has really changed so much in education and I think it's great. Our kids are so comfortable with it. My 2 yr old granddaughter, before she could even talk, could take my iPhone and knew how to get to her special apps to play games. Could you ever wear think latex gloves?
Lisbeth, so sorry about the insurance. I get so frustrated with insurance, and especially the prescription part. I really have not paid for anything yet other than my first diagnostic mammogram, and just pray I don't get hit with some huge bill once everything catches up with billing and insurance. I think I mentioned that I looked up what the Neulasta shot most of us get would cost without insurance. Just the one injection would be $5000+. One drug I was taking, Otezla, isn't covered now that I changed insurance. It would be $2,645 PER MONTH out of pocket! Something needs to give. These products can't possibly cost that much to make.
Candy and Mom, be sure to suck on some ice chips during chemo, just as a safeguard for mouth issues. I didn't and got both thrush and canker sores, plus totally lost all tastebuds for about 5-6 days. They came back, but others who used the chips said they had no problems. My 2nd infusion is Monday and I will bring a good supply of ice chips in a thermos!
ajbclan and Kz, thinking of you today and want to hear all about your day and as you move into the days after. Hope any SEs are minimal.
Caligirl, hope you get the heartbeat under control quickly.
Yea, Michelle, so technically you're still in the August chemo group since you are sort of beginning the process at the end of the month.
Lori, everything OK? Maybe I missed a couple of posts but haven't heard from you for a bit. Hope you're able to enjoy days now.
Hi to everyone else. I'm thinking of everyone. This morning I'm off to my hairdresser to get my head buzzed! I'm tired of leaving a trail of hair wherever I go! Just need to jump in and embrace this!!! Love you all. You're keeping me sane and positive! Dara
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Hi everyone!
I am doing pretty good. Still have my hair - day 13. It seems to be starting to shed though, and I can pluck body hairs off with my fingers. Weird. It will probably be tomorrow or Friday that I break down and get rid of it. My husband doesn't want to talk about it and won't agree to shave my head. That stinks because one of my major concerns is that he still find me attractive. I thought he would be okay because his mom has alopecia and wears wigs. Oh well. I guess we will see how it goes this weekend.
2nd AC transfusion tomorrow. I'm not too nervous. They had to poke me a lot last time so I am trying to drink a lot of water today. For the most part I am doing good - I hope you guys are, too.
abjclan - I have no pokerface. Drives me crazy. I try saying "I have breast cancer" out loud in my car sometimes to practice, but every time I tell someone I can feel my face start to scrunch up and tears burn. Uggh.
Lisbeth - That PA sounds terrible. I am so sorry. You would think that that meeting would be comforting. My genetics counselor decided that I didn't show enough reaction when she told me that I "most likely had some type of genetic mutation" (I didn't) and that I should consider a full hysterectomy, so she called my nurse and told her that I needed to be set up with a psychologist. Listen, I am happy to talk to someone, I even think it would do me good, but I felt like I was being labeled as an emotional basketcase because I didn't give her the response she was looking for. Anyway, everyone else I have dealt with has been pretty wonderful. I hope your insurance pulls it together quickly.
Dara - No judgement on people who CAN afford a $2,000 wig! I think it is definitely a worthwhile investment. I am sure that I'll wear a wig for at least this full academic year (until May) and I want to look good! Good luck with your hair dresser today! I am right behind you. I didn't even think of paying someone to do it - that is a great idea. I'll call my hairdresser today.
Hi momto1boy! - Good luck to you and Candy on Friday
Love to all of you! Please keep us updated on how you are doing.
Annie
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Good luck to those getting treatment today!
My taste buds are almost completely returned... I chewed on ice through my transfusion but still lost them (but kept mouth sores largely away... Just a bit of tenderness.
Considering I had no steroids to help with SE I am relieved I managed ok! This weekend my cousin is getting married- a big formal affair. I'm scared about my hair! It's slightly itching but that's it... Though I don't want to play with it too much. I'm thinking of wearing it up just so I don't pull on it all night. Since I won't be able to have a fancy up do for some time afterward... Why not!
Yeah, the wig price was really hard for me to swallow for sure. As a single mom that was a big chunk of money! But seeing that I bought two cheap styles to wear 90% of the time, the $2300 one will last me the full 18 months, (and will hopefully be in good enough shape that I can donate it to a future patient in my community once I don't need it) and I really needed it for work as I am in the public eye at high profile events getting photographed etc a few times a week and I really just wanted to try and look as much like me as possible. It was a big investment... But there weren't really other options (Canada always pays more uggg). Maybe once I'm more comfortable wearing a wig I will buy some fun options online- but I wanted to be fitted this time so I went to a store who specializes in working with cancer patients. (They also do the shave when it's time... Which I am thankful for)
The emotional toll of this journey is starting to get me at times. I had just started enjoying dating and putting myself out there prior to my diagnosis, and that all came to an abrupt stop. How can I possibly meet someone knowing I'm about to lose my hair, and that my chest has horizontal scars and missing nipples that would scare anyone away! The thought of not having companionship for.... A long long time is so hard on ones self confidence! I wish I had someone to tell me I'm beautiful... The ones that do have no idea what I'm masking beneath the clothes and looming wigs. Sucks.
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Hopefloatsinyyc - Don't apologize for spending money on a beautiful wig. I'd do it in a heartbeat if I still worked especially with your type of job. It's no different than having to spend a lot of money on a professional wardrobe. Working full-time and raising your twins while battling cancer--you deserve it!
I know it seems like forever but you'll get past chemo, get your beautiful hair back and you'll rock those horizontal scars. You'll be dating before you know it and the next one will see the warrior in you not the scars and he'll be a true keeper!
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Hope. You are beautiful. I can tell by the way that you see the world and support people here. That is what counts! Yes, we have scars and maybe they are in a more inopportune place than other peoples, but that will not stop love. I am 8 years out from my BMX/reconstruction and now I have a nice long lumpectomy scar too. I've got a lot of scars, but I don't think about them much. My husband doesn't care (he is such a sweetie). He's just found other things to "focus" on (grope - lol!) If there is a bright side, this may just help weed out the unsympathetic jerks and make room for the guys who will treat you right!
Thanks everyone for the boost of encouragement! Keeping my fingers crossed!
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Hi all- I think I'm to loopy from the Benadryl right now to focus well on all of the posts! IV went in fine, I'm sucking ice chips (thanks everyone for that!)- chemo now going in, I'll be done in 90 min. So far so good, but I know the potential hard part can be days away.
KZ1966- thinking of you! I hope all is smooth.
Hope- what you're doing makes perfect sense- I was going to say don't worry about what others are thinking- but we're all doing that with this hair loss, including me! lol. Don't give up on companionship- maybe this will give you a chance to stop looking, and since you're focusing on you- he may just come along....isn't that how it works a lot! I watch Big Brother- my way to escape
And there's a "showmance" going on- this gorgeous, young, cheerleader- she hooks up with the short asian with a country accent! They really have hit it off, and he doesn't even comment about her looks. So nice to see. I know it's a tv show 0 -
ajb.... Ahhhh you made me laugh!! Please tell me I'm not the short Asian with no looks and a country accent!,Lol... I agree that I will get through this and end up with a great guy, but it just sucks when you take your time and are finally ready and excited about getting out there and dating, and the rug is pulled out! We all need affection and companionship in our lives... It makes us feel alive (or at least I do). Just disappointing that I was starting to enjoy that step in my life and had to put it to the side! Seems unfair!
I know what you all are saying though... It is just hard when someone hits on me at an event and I have to tell them I'm not interested because I know if they saw what was really going on their mouths would drop... And NOT in a good way! Haha
For anyone wanting a chuckle, this article about the subject matter made me smile. http://www.today.com/id/44967915/ns/today-today_he...
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Hope- I didn't want to offend anyone, but wanted to emphasize the opposites attract! I used to date a short asian guy after high school lol.
funny how life does that- I took care of my mom for 4 years basically, and she passed at the end of April- felt like ok- now i can do things, and I guess not quite yet
On my last infusion- i keep getting distracted and forget the ice chips! ugh....nuelasta on.....
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Should mouth, hand, and feet icing just cover the Taxotere (+ 15 minutes before/after) or the Cytoxin part too?
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