Unfortunately things are going downhill
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Thanks again for all the support and especially for being my cheering section. I am trying to be positive and have faith that surely this one will work. I just want to live a while longer and hopefully Harper will remember me. I know, it's a wild shot but a girl can dream. There are so many things I still want to see, such as my son to get married and see his kids. I just really want all my family to be settled so I can Rest In Peace. I'm really scared this time. I have already been through so much, I just don't know how far my body will be allowed to be pushed. I've had some emotional breakdowns today, which is really not normal for me, I can usually talk myself out of them. But today seems different, I'm scared and very sad. Another reason why I call TarheelMichelle my angel in my pocket. She seems to have appeared at exactly the perfect time. I've always saidGod puts the right people in your life when needed and takes people out that are no longer needed. I'm hoping she sticks around, cause she definitely lightens up my day. I really wish every one of you the best, I pray for you all, rather we agree with religion or not. I certainly don't want to offend anyone, it's just who I am. Love to all. Everyone have a great day tomorrow and do something special for yourself.
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Kandy - Thank you for your prayers. Put all the fear and loss out there and the universe will take care of it. You are going to get through this and there no need to carry that panic and shock with you.
You will be there for your family all the way through. Having a reason to make it through all this is the post powerful healer. I am glad you have faith. Nothing else really works through these terrifying procedures. It will be over and you will get better.
I am glad Michelle is right there in NC to help you through this. Thinking of you.
>Z<
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Kaption, my 23 yo DD is having a really hard time with my illness. She has one more semester of college, dealing with a new administration in DC, the stuff that all young people are dealing with (no affordable housing, tough to get a job, etc.) AND my terminal illness. She says she's overwhelmed. She is trying to get counseling now, but they don't offer it at her school. She didn't click well with the last recommended therapist, so I know she's struggling. I feel for your Harper. Losing a parent is never an easy thing, no matter how old the child is.
Just when I thought I had established a so-so normal, now I'm faced with my daughter's "anticipatory grief". It's not like I can "pretend" it's not that bad...she sees all the paraphernalia I have around the house: Bed bar so I can get in and out of bed without sustaining anymore compression fractures to my spine and ribs, my walker and canes, my tray with all my meds, my gnarled up hands (thank you, Xeloda, but you are keeping me alive for now).
So it's not going to be easy on our kids no matter what. I just pray my DD can hang in there. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away, but sadly I can't.
I'm praying for all of us and our families, too.
Lita
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Kandy, hang in there!
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yay for no brain mets!!!! Awesome! And so glad tarheel is there for you! She has helped me numerous times and she really is an angel 😇! Post pics of you two!! And where did you go to dinner?!? Always praying
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Kjones, you are another NC lady. You need to drive on down and join our party. You would be more than welcome. TarheelMichelle and I had a great time together last night. It was awesome meeting someone in my similar situation. And you are right, she is truly an angel. We met at Green Valley Grill and spent about 3 hours together. We are definitely planning on getting together again. Wanted to share a pic with you ladies. I hope y'all have a fabulous day.
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Wow! Love that you two got together!
Tina
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Great pic. You guys look awesome!
>Z<
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Beautiful women - inside and out! Glad you had such a nice gettogether!
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What a wonderful picture of two very lovely ladies! I'm so happy that TarheelMichelle and you were able to get together. It's nice to see you both.
Kandy, this is the second time I've seen a picture of you without your sunglasses. The other time was a picture of you with Harper. I hope your new treatments will kick that cancer to the curb and give you many, many years with dear Harper.
Sending many prayers to all and holding you all in lovingkindness.
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Mominator, that's funny about the sunglasses. I do like to hide behind them. I think the eyes always tell your age, so sunglasses help to give a younger look. You are very observant. TarheelMichelle and I did have a nice time together and I'm thrilled to be able to talk to someone that truly understands. I'm praying for chemo success. Have a wonderful day everyone.
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Beautiful picture of the two of you! Glad you were able to get together and have a good time. Gosh! You look like you could be related!
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Shutterbug, that's funny you say that. My sister seen the pic and said gosh, y'all look more like sisters than we do. And in reality she is correct. TarheelMichelle, I hope you are not offended, I'm taking it as a compliment.
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I just love the photo of you & Tarheel, Kandy, and you are both beauties! It is very heartwarming to read how she has lifted your spirits lately. Wishing both of you well.
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Mrs Divine, she has lifted my spirits, Truly an angel. She makes a bad situation seem not so bad, and says we will get through it together. So nice that not only that I don't feel so alone but she totally understands my fears. Bless her.
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Kandy!!! I've been away too long & catching up, I see new faces and names, and I had really hoped that not being logged on meant nothing would change :-( I'm sorry you've had to face down this creature again...but I also know your determination and that creature should be scared! It's wonderful you and Tarheel got together!!! You're both beautiful! I get together with Grammy R often & to be with someone who gets it completely is divine. I hope & pray this tx is the magic potion. When I got my lifetime port, it "grew" on me & though it took a while, I'm so happy it's there! Did you put your cream on 1-2 hours before being accessed? Wishing you hope, healing & happy decades with Harper
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Gorgeous picture of you two. I am so glad for no brain mets Kandy! Every one of s should have a guardian angel friend who gets it. That means everything....I agree with Z. You will be around for all of us and harper for a long time.
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Kandy I'm flattered that you (and others) think we have a family resemblance. I thought the same thing. I'm happy to claim you as a sister.
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TarheelMichelle, I definitely will claim you as a sister also. Thank you for being there for me.
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Wow, what a fabulous story and a success story at that. Finding your kindred spirit on the Internet. I'm so happy for you both.
Consider us all in your pocket, move over, it's going to get crowded, for your next treatment.
With loving kindness
Amy
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Amy, I do wish all of you could be here. I'm sure the pocket will hold you all.
Went to see the MO yesterday, he thought I was handling the first round of chemo really well. He said at the end of the 3rd round, he would do a scan to see what the liver mets is up to. If I have progression, he said they would biopsy the liver to see if it changed status. He thinks this chemo should kick it back to the curb unless it's changed. Let's hope that hasn't happened. Wishing you all the best.
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Kandy - Great news. Looking forward to great scans.
>Z<
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Gotta love your MO, Kandy! May the scans attest to his wisdom.
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Kandy! I just read your bad news. I am rooting for you here in CA. I hear chemo can knock those liver mets out. That's what you need. Magic bullet for a lovely lady. We are here for you if you need to vent. Hoping for good scans! Keep moving, that will help your spirits. (())
Claire
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Each progression is a painful set back, but do not admit defeat. Yourfeelings are normal but please know there are many meds on the market that may still be tried. If not his one, perhaps the next one. With the start of each new drug, let there be new hope that it will push the cancer back a little bit. Good luck and keep fighting
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Kandy, I don't log on as often as I use to, I'm very sorry to read about your progression. I am always in awe of the way everyone reaches out to lift each other up when needed.This is the best support group. Thrilled to read you are doing okay with chemo and that the brain scan was good. Love seeing the picture of you and TarHeel Michelle, two beautiful ladies inside and out. I will be thinking and sending positive thoughts your way.
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Kandy, Scans so soon already?! Well, its good that he is moving fast, because the sooner you get back to normal and stress levels drop back down again the better you will be and able to tackle the road ahead. The chemo itself would probably not be so so so horrible (is it?), if we could just separate out the extra anticipatory stress we put on ourselves about the future...
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He says he will scan after the third round. Each round is 3 weeks. 2 weeks on, 1 week off. So I still have 6 weeks until scans, total of 9 weeks. He says that is plenty of time to make sure we are headed in the right direction and will determine rather we continue or need to biopsy and change. I think the cancer isprogressing so quick, if it's not working he needs to know that asap. I agree with we don't have time to play around. We are going to have to find something that works quickly or my outlook is pretty grim. Surely this will bring things back in check. I'm praying for each one of you lovely ladies. I hope each one of you has painfree days and nights with lots of healing. God bless each of you for holding me up when I feel so down. Wishing you the very best.
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kandy I had a terrible terrible allergy on taxol. I also went into anaphylaxis. Abraxane was soooo much better. Hugs hugs hugs and good luck. They will most likely have you stay on the steroids to be safe...
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Kandy - sorry to read about your progression. I also became allergic to Taxol after round 3, but my onc loaded me up with steroids so I could finish 6 rounds of Taxoterrible + cytoxan. NTL BC came back at stage IV 2 1/2 years later.
So far I'm handling Ibrance +faslodex pretty well. Please keep us posted on Abraxene.
(()) Claire0
