My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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I’ve only been diagnosed with stage IV since January. It’s still a mental shock to me, and worrying before each monthly visit with my Onc. It’s all just so fresh in my mind and hard to get used to this horrible disease coming back. It’s on my mind every day. That is why I’m feeling just so very saddened over @kittykat9876 and her passing. The other night I popped in over at the Liver Mets thread and read her post about stopping treatment no longe working, and her only option was Hospice. She was saying goodbye to everyone I think. I commented to her, and told her she would be in my prayers. That night when I talk to God., and would also talk to God in breath prayer the next day. RIP Kitty,your pain is over. This is the first time for me hearing of the passing of a Sista from this forum. I don’t want to get used to this because I’ve grown so fond of every one of you and become familiar with some of you. God bless you all and have a peaceful, restful sleep tonight.🩵💙😢
💕Barb
P.S. I literally hate this disease, Breast Cancer😠
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@shanagirl It’s always so very hard to lose a BCO friend. I try to reflect on the good they brought to this forum of amazing ladies while I mourn never being able to read their posts again. I think you might be confusing nopink2019 (who posted on the liver thread) with kittykat. The last post from kittykat indicated she was home and getting help from social services. That was June 27. She passed less than a week later. 😢 💔
I’ve managed to eke out a couple of good days in my 21 day Enhertu cycle. Next infusion is Thursday. Please keep me in your thoughts. This drug was really hard on me.
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@RK2020
You are in my thoughts every day. Even if I don't post, I always read your updates. I'm glad that you have a second opinion MO with more Enhertu experience. Hoping that a dose reduction will improve your QOL while still kicking cancer's butt.
Hugs and positive energy,
Eleanora
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RIP dear KittyKat. Prayers for your family. What a damn awful disease this cancer is🤬.
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RIP KittyKat, I think I mentioned her but she deserves another mention, condolences to her family and friends, here and in her personal life.
Emac, I feel like I know you from here as well. You are family in more ways than you guys know.
RK, yes Sadie's Servant is definitely on my mind given all she was going through. Worrisome when we lose contact.
Irishlove, I agree you about specialists being used as they need them a nd knowing palliative is a good option for people as we may need more than one modality.
Shanagirl, we do lose many sisters but we are also lasting longer than before. We do get attached and that is not a bad thing. I hate this disease too.
rk2020, you are in my pocket on the enhertu and that a dose reduction will help with the SE and QOL.
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@irishlove HAPPY 44TH ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND YOUR DH.
I’m sorry you are having head pressure and I hope you can fina way to resolve it, Irish. Glad your DH is doing lymph drainage therapy. My DH is going next week for his core biopsy. I’m so worried about him. He’s so strong and active.
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Decided to keep personal doings in a separate post since my other is filled with you wonderful people. Using the sticky note to address people, feels more complete and personal and can cut and paste on the screen which is good.
Not doing outdoor stuff, supposed the be feeling hot and humid up to 100, no air quality alerts, just heat alerts.
Did laundry, not doing much else besides surveys/games and the usual. Food wise, going to get into my frozen hamburger, fry it up, use that over a few meals as ground beef, can do many things with it.
For breakfast, wanted to finish up the canned chicken, gave to the cats blended up with a partial whiskas portion, chicken and water. Smoothie, they love it.
I went for twist on an egg sandwich. Took an english muffin, sliced it, put a bit of mayo because I forgot butter, put a little garlic butter on each muffin. Added some shredded cheese and last of the can of chicken. On top I spooned a raw egg and put the whole thing in the breville on the toast setting, everything was nicely good, different texture to the eggs, did forget to spray down the pan used but I must say, it was super good.
I will figure out more ways to stretch the variety of cat food as well, they still get dry food, small snacks for less stomach issues but I figure they deserve some good food too.
Happy 4th of July to all my American friends here
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Ah, Im real sorry to hear about kittykat. She was hanging on so long for her family though she had mentioned the other week (just last week?) it was time for the Talk. I hope she was comfortable and surrounded by their love at the end.
Sadies it shows that she was last on 29 May. Does anyone know where in Canada she was located? I thought Ontario for some reason.
Train update: train was down all day so I ubered into the hospital and took different line + bus on the way back which made it a tolerable situation (also, not traveling during school rush!). On the plus side the waiting room was strangely empty for a Monday morning, no idea where everyone went! And hip is still getting stronger so Im enjoying my week off to eat all the food I havent been interested in for the past two. Pool tomorrow!
Cold and rainy here so we are having the chili and corn bread I made on Sunday. Some 4th :) but hey what can you do. Started booking everything for a week off to Sweden in early August to see family and friends, and now Im checking out folding canes just in case. Gonna go for a fun pattern this time!
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I think that Pat (SadiesServant) lived on the west coast of Canada, somewhere in British Columbia. I wish someone knew her full name. Unfortunately I think the others who had met her in person have all died. I just noticed I used the past tense with her but it seemed that her organs were failing over a month ago and it was just a matter of time. Seemed like she had peace of mind in her last few posts-resigned to the fact that she wasn't going to be able to clear the house, etc. Just hope someone else was able to step in for her mother and Sadie.
My biggest worry initially is that I would die before my elderly mother who needed my help after her strokes. It was an immense relief when she died first.
Wishing my US sisters a happy Independence Day. I'm going to bake some cookies and head off to a pickle-nic later. Now that I am working two jobs at the moment, I am very grateful for a day off!
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I hope and wish that families could read the messages to our sisters who have died from this disease. I think it would amaze them to see how much they were loved and valued. I remember when "moth" AKA Margaret died, her daughter posted to let us know. I think it must have been comforting to see all of the responses from her BCO family.
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wrenn~ good call and thank you for your message. At least we have more information and will be Checking to see if we come across more. Good work wrenn. Hugs to you my friend. Keep me. Posted.
Rip Kitty. No more pain sweetie just Freedom from cancer!0 -
@shanagirl Oh how sweet of you to send anniversary greetings. I'm actually learning to do lymp drainage on my chest and underarms by watching a PT on youtube. I pray your husband's core biopsy is negative. My DH just had a needle biopsy. I'm pushing him to see my MO for a second opinion. His MO is pretty laid back and seemed to make a decision not to start treatment based on my stage 4 recent diagnosis. Shana I hope your husband's good health continues. Stay strong girl, praying for you two.
Hi everyone. I'm sorry if I don't recall all but hoping for good results in scans and lots of good days ahead! Special prayers for @nopink2019 and @nicolerod and @sadiesservant Only being a part of this community for 4 months and I'm so attached and love each and every one of you.
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Traveled to Ontario today for daughters wedding on Friday.
Just read about sweet Kittykat passing away. I know she was talking about hospice and having the talk with her daughter. I hope her son was able to be with her as he lived the other side of Australia. She was a wonderful woman and I will miss her. RIP Kittykat.
I knew Pat lives in British Columbia but did not know where. Hopefully we can find more news.
In everyone's pocket for upcoming treatments, scans and results
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HI ladies, your all so amazing in your own way. I always feel the love being projected in each post, what an wonderful group in the room.
Wrenn- Great work tracking the info on Pat, hoping somehow she landed in the hospital and hasn't been in touch.
Shana Will add your DH to my daily prayer list. Agree it's so hard to hear when a sister passes but being a part of this group is so gratifying.
sondraf Happy to hear your travel was tolerable and hope you enjoyed a swim and some delicious food. It's the little things we appreciate.
Rk Sending strength and positive vibes as you continue on the Enhurtu journey. Hoping it's squashing cancer and you get relief from SE.
Hope everyone had a good 4th of July. Was a good day here we dodging a little rain while boating but had a great day. Had some family over with us so we were able to enjoy the water and views together.
Had my visit with RO and we agreed to radiate one of my lung mets that has been continuing to grow slowly. Since it has been resistant to chemo it's worth a shot, Will go for simulation on Monday to get things going.
Hi to all and hope we all get restful sleep. Was a rough night last night with Daisy and the thunderstorms plus fireworks. Fingers crossed.
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@cookie54
So glad you had a good 4th and were able to enjoy boating with family. Hope poor Daisy has recovered from the assault on her nerves.
Good to hear that the RO is willing to zap the spot in your lung and get rid of that persistent bugger! Does that mean you will be able to continue on your current tx?
You are always so upbeat and supportive of everyone and I always enjoy your posts.
@livingivlife
Wonderful that you are able to be at your daughter's wedding and participate in all of the festivities. Hope you enjoy every minute of the happy occasion.
@wrenn
Great work locating Pat. You've missed your calling as a detective. Think of her every day and hope she's pain free and at peace.
@shanagirl
Sending positive thoughts for your husband's biopsy.
@mara
I really admire the love and care you demonstrate toward your cats. They are very lucky kitties.
Off to the cancer center for 5 hours of scanning and waiting in between scans. I'm grateful that they are willing to schedule all of them on the same day so that it's just one trip and one IV insertion, but it's an exhausting process.
Hope everyone is able to get outside and enjoy the beautiful flowers that are popping up.
Hugs to all.
Eleanora
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Shanagirl, only way I can keep up is move post by post and write my reply that way. I love having a busier living room though.
Irishlove, happy anniversary!
Chicagoan, hope you enjoyed the picnic.
Wrenn, good find on the info about Pat.
In your pocket cookie 54 for the rads and simulation.
Eleanora, the cats don't realize how spoiled they are but they enjoy it.
I am glad people enjoyed their 4th of Julys.
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I am in the midst of washing clothes to wear to the cancer clinic, usual Herceptin. Going by bus, not attempting a walk in a heat warning. Not much will be happening for me today otherwise. Making a more traditional sausage and cheese english muffin. Though I enjoyed yesterday's concoction, it was messy, just make english muffin with butter, toast and make the egg and sausage patty separately after.
Have a good day all and remember, if you want to address more people here, use sticky notes on the computer or phone, type as you read, copy and paste. Makes it so much easier.
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mara- Thanks for the sticky note tip, boy i love whoever invented them! Yummy breakfast reminds me of McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches , haven’t had one in years!
Eleanora Thanks for your kind words I hope you scan day goes by quickly and smoothly ! Yes, I will continue on my same therapy.We’re all squished in your pocket today with left over smores or maybe like smores lol.Daisy survived her anxiety ridden July 4 th . I was able to get one of her anxiety pills in her in time!
Good Morning to all and wishing you peace and strength today❤️
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Good Morning Sweet Ladies, I hope your July 4th weekend was joyful and peaceful, and your fur babies made it through the fireworks reasonably calm. My 2 guys stayed right up against me, while I sat in my bedroom reading. When they see I am calm and don’t react to their fear of the bangs, they trust that they are safe huddled up next to me🥰A LOT of fireworks in my neighborhood. We are across the Barnegat Bay from Lavalette, Ortley Beach,Seaside Heights, Seaside Park, Island Hts, and all the beach towns doing fireworks. We can see the fireworks from our deck or walk up to the bay and watch. Everyone in the neighborhood from blocks away are ther with chairs, children & even their dogs. Lot’s of people setting off fireworks in front of their houses and families cheering & waving the American Flag. there are also lots of boats all lit up to watch. So it’s very busy. I live 2 houses away from the bay, so I just didn’t feel like walking up and socializing. I was having gI issues all day yesterday, so didn’t feel like being up there with bone pain and GI issues. Then my well meaning neighbors with the usual questions how do you feel, and when does your treatment end.?🙄 So I stayed in self protective mode this year with my 2 little Pugs, Ollie & Sammy.🐾🐾🖤🤎💛🥰. This afternoon I have an appointment with my neurologist pain management doctor. I see him for my Cervical Stenosis, in my neck, at the recommendation of my Oncologist. I’ve been seeing my Neuro Pain management doc since 2019…I’ve had flareups and I know I need to get in to see him. So, Girls have a good day today, and I’ll check in later.💗
💕Barb💕
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eleanora, praying for the results of your scans today and you can stay relatively calm during them. That makes for a long day!
shanagirl, I hope you get good help with your pain management. I may have to go that route if my back pain doesn't subside.
mara, praying for your treatment today too.
Heading out to the pulmonologist today to see if we can figure out why I need constant oxygen (although I do live at 7200 ft!). I have been waiting for this appointment for two months as we have had other tests run to provide more information. Then to the oncologist tomorrow. I feel so housebound with this tank when I go out and am still fighting for a mini-concentrator so I can get out more. I did walk about a mile yesterday pulling my tank all the way. A good walk for me but not fun.
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Happy Anniversary Irish! Wishing you many more!!
Just got back from my 3 month checkup w/MO. My counts were down again on my week of Ibrance (ANC 0.7) so I need to hold Ibrance for another week and retest next Friday. Interesting conversations with her. She talked about how new studies have come out showing Kisqali has better long term outcomes than Ibrance. New MBC patients are started on Kisquali instead of Ibrance now. And if I keep having issues with low ANC she would possibly switch me to Kisqali. Also questioned possibility of getting a port due to severe difficulty getting IV’s started in left arm. I had been told not to use right arm due to node dissection. She told me since I only need access every 3 months, there is no reason not to use my right arm to increase success of starting IV’S.
Had a fun 4th. Our city has a 4th of July parade that generally runs about 2 hours. The volunteer fire dept has tons of old equipment that are brought out. Interesting to see them. Lots of bands, veterans groups and many, many community groups. Our 3 grandkids marched in the parade with their respective baseball teams. And lots of candy gets thrown to kids on the sidelines. My favorite part was the golden retriever group - there must have been 80-90 goldens of all ages and sizes. Maybe next year we will borrow our friends mini-cooper, put the top down and drive with the dogs in the parade! The city also does a great fireworks display but we stayed home to make sure our most senior golden (13) doesn’t go nuts. My husband turned on the movie Black Hawk Down and upped the volume so all the shooting drowned out any outside sounds. It worked!
Thinking of those facing challenges right now. Praying peace and comfort finds their way into your lives. Waving to all👋🏻👋🏻0 -
Goldens— I heard on a webinar for MBC that Ibrance is falling out of favor with the U.S. oncologists. Maybe she meant because of what you commented about in your above post. I got 4 years out of Ibrance, so that was good. And Mel, I think, has been on it for a long time too. So I think it still is a good drug and should not be discounted.
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Candy - I’ve been on Ibrance for almost 4 years. I think Mel is at 6+ years. My MO also mentioned that if I have progression, there are new drugs available that weren’t available when first dx 4 years ago. Which is good news for all of us - new treatments are on the horizon. Our SIL works for Merck in the last stage of drug testing before the meds are used in humans and he has always said that they are constantly working on cancer meds. Unfortunately for every one that can be used in humans, many do not make it.
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Well, made it through my Herceptin. Even though I took the bus, the distance roundtrip was almost 2 miles and it is crazy hot. I will say walking to the bus stop this morning was tiring mostly for the heat. Once I was taken in to have my Herceptin, I did ask for two little cheese bars and gingerale. Also brought granola bars but only needed one. Filled up on water and waited for bus home in the cancer clinic and left a couple minutes before it was due to come.
Tomorrow is the meeting with the community care access centre and I will tell them what I think I need. Won't be looking too much advice as far as storage since I use everything, I just need someone to take me through getting up off the floor. Going to call RO end of next week if still not hearing anything. I rarely fall at home, fell twice in 4.5 years of so my apartment is not such an issue.
Cats were anxious to see me so they got a smoothie again and were happy as clams.
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Sad to read about Kittykat. I hope she made it home.
pocket duty for all those with upcoming tests, scans and treatment.
I’m on the road with DH went to NY for July 1st bday celebration for mom. She turned 90.Then we went to PA to visit daughter. Heading back to NY today with a brief stop in NJ to visit son. It was nice seeing all the northerners!! The Smokey haze definitely made me tire quickly but I think it’s better in the suburbs bc of the trees.
Our next drive will be back to moms for two days and then home.
im enjoying the away time and trying to push upcoming scans to the back of my mind.Waving hello to all and reading along.
Tanya
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Hello ladies. Trying to get some sleep. I was thinking about you all and wanted to check in. I hope we are all doing ok at least. It’s a little warm tonight , I don’t like that at all. I may have to pay mr ac a visit. It was extremely hot today outside. DH went golfing and it was horrible. He came home soaked and it was gross outside. I put the trash down to the curb and by the time I had both of them down. I was dripping with sweat. It’s cool inside the house , so I had my house coat on and it’s fleece. I was baking. Tomorrow is supposed to be another crispy day outside. I’ll be staying inside again. Yuck! Sleep well ladies. Love to all !!
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Hi everyone. In each one's pocket for scans and good news!
Nothing going on, but feeling a bit more stable. Blood work tomorrow. This may sound strange, but I do not ask about numbers. I put it in the MO's hands and God's hands. I became sick with MS 22 years ago. Many MRI's thru the years to see how meds were working, and always worrying I would have another attack. I've learned being overwhelmed with things out of my control takes a tremendous toll . I try so hard to tamp down the constant worry. It doesn't usually work, but sometimes I find peace.
Don't laugh, but we are gonna lunch at the hospital. They have a good food very reasonably priced. We had Bar B Q, french fries, cheeseburger and Lemonaide for $10.50! Lunch nowadays is $25 and up with tip at the restaurant.
Re: Ibrance. MO wanted me on Kisquali and Humana said NO. Go figure. The last news I had read on Kisquali was extended survival time versus Ibrance. Since I'm doing good on Ibrance, I'm thankful but I hate the fact that insurance can make such decisions.
@shanagirl Still praying for your husband. Growing up we would stop at Perkins Rest. in Toms River before traveling past Barnegat Bay to Seaside Heights, NJ. We ran that boardwalk as kids, no parental supervision necessary back then. Our favorite restaurant in the town was Sinn's, Italian. Miss those days listening to 60's and 70's music blaring while riding Mouse Trap.
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I had a terrible afternoon and evening. Out of nowhere, my legs did not want to work. This was after the cancer clinic, cane was fine. When I went to get my mail, my coordination was gone. I did not fall but it was certainly scary, I could not type as well for thoughts at all. I also did not sleep more than three hour, went to bed early and woke up at 130, been up ever since, I am working better today and will be doing some exercise. I did not even take recycling out for fear of falling, I really don't know what is going on. I have the CCAC, local health network coming today. Doing some laundry and minor housework as well. Phoning the cancer clinic again to find out about an MRI. I need to rule out cancer or more brain mets.
I am just dejected, cannot even type without multiple errors either. Probably skip going out with brother at this rate.
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I am very sorry to hear of kittykat's passing. It doesn't seem like long ago she posted at all.
I am still thinking about Pat (sadiesservant) and praying for her. It wasn't clear to me if, when someone found an article about her, if she had passed away.
Someone mentioned they wished family members could come here to read about all the ways their loved one touched each person here and read the nice things about them. That is so true. I know it would mean so much to them.
Praying/pocket duty for all who need/want it. May today be a good day with little pain and lots of happiness for each of you. I am sitting in a quiet corner of the living room with warm chocolate chip cookies listening to all the chatter and conversations.❤️
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