My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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SantaBarbara,
Well said. I might be a bit stir-crazy, but I’m still here! So until this virus threat goes away, I’m staying home.
I hope all of my friends here take care.
Love to all
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I did go out for a bagel lunch with my friend Debbie. Known her since I was a kid. She was my mom's friend who became family. It was busy for people picking up bagels but not sitting, only 5 of us eating in. That was fine with me. Afterwards, I asked if she wanted to go for a walk so she wanted to show me some parkland I could walk that I was not aware was so close to my apartment. It was great, near my river and just nice to have a regular path too. Also had a very steep uphill climb to get out on a main street as well. She asked if I was sure I wanted to try it and I said of course. We went up. I stopped once for about 10 seconds just to grab a deep breath. It was so steep, I felt like I could fall backward but felt accomplished once I got up the hill. Will definitely add that to some of my outdoor walking. Not doing the hill in winter though. Too much threat of falling. We stopped at a grocery store and I grabbed vinegar. No beans or spinach so will keep checking throughout the week. I really hope some limits are placed on items so more people can get things.
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Ok. I am starting to freak out. I live alone. 2 weeks of isolation- ah ok, I can do that. But MONTHS !!! I don't know if I can do it. No church, no going out socially, online ordering of groceries ( if there are groceries to be bought ) and not picking out my own foods, no haircuts, no volunteer committee meetings. Days and days of nothingness. My white counts won't get better-- constant cancer treatment. So I will always be in the high risk group.
I pray that things get better in a month. But thinking about all this is overwhelming. Just a slow death. Will I be able to get enough food and supplies to live on. Will I catch the virus and wind up in the ICU and they will not have enough beds and they want to save someone that doesn't have Stage 4 cancer.
This is too much. Cancer and this virus. Too much.
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I agree I am feeling some anxiety for sure! My daughter is also in the er for abdominal pain and throwing up. No one can win!! Creepier and creepier
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Candy, I hear you. So far I’m ok with staying home but I’m pretty sure I’ll get cabin fever and the need to be more connected too. Is there a place nearby where you could go for a walk every day or now and then? Could you get some food from a drive thru or curbside pickup just for variety? Leaving the house at some point could be a good thing. (And, my thinking would be to go ahead with a haircut sometime soon.). I think your state has done a major amount of shutting down (like mine-Ohio) so hopefully that has a positive effect in slowing down the spread and there won’t be a severe strain on medical equipment and facilities. I hope not, at least. Since I know you’re a church goer, maybe you’ll find some comfort in Psalms 90 and 91. A friend sent me a text that they were helpful to her.
I have two more radiation treatments to go and am very ready to be done. My skin is burnt and itchy and the hospital atmosphere is not nice with all the fear of the virus. I also have a dental checkup on Thursday but read there’s a recommendation from the Dental Society (or something official) to limit dental visits to emergencies. I’m waiting another day for the call from my dentist office.
Other than that I’m not unhappy staying home. Of course I watch too much tv and spend too much time with my iPad. But I’m ok. Hello to Mel and all the friends visiting the living room! 😊
Rosie
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Good evening all
I found some online anxiety reducing measures. Lavender aromatherapy, breathing, soothing sounds of nature. I’m isolated inside. We could go for a drive and did so yesterday.
We’ve bought beans rice meat and stuff but I’m sure we’ll have cabin fever sooner than later.
I started doing some gardening. Lord knows everything’s been neglected out there. Smashed my hand, got poked with a thorn and bruised my leg on a branch. Maybe tomorrow I’ll stay inside and heal a bit from today’s adventures.Mara you’re amazing a hill.
Hi Booboo staying home but outdoors is nice for a change of scenery.
Mel I hope you’re daughters stomach feels better
Tanya
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The craziness doesn’t seem to want to end. My daughter has a twisted intestine. No clue how or why? But that’s what the pain is. They kept her over night. No visitors!!! I the helpless mom can’t even see her. She may need surgery, the surgical consult is tomorrow. When it’s me it’s one thing , but my kids. That hits deeper and in a way only parents understand. Even with all my problems I would take it from her. My precious daughter. It’s always something! Snowballing
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I'm sorry to hear about your daughter Mel and that she cannot have any visitors. You are right, it is always something.
Tanya, yes a steep hill. I am going to try it again tomorrow, each day push it further. Being outside is my cure for all the craziness that is coronavirus. I would not survive inside, but if careful with other people who are out and keep space in between, should be fairly safe. As far as going out, other than picking up food and groceries which are necessary, I would not imagine going and sitting down in a restaurant, even if they don't shut them down.
I am going to avoid news for a bit, the whole business is definitely anxiety inducing and that won't help me given I can be fairly anxious myself. I will just use common sense, go where allowed and see what happens.
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Morning all.
So last night I had a small meltdown. Everything just got to be too much. The news that we may be dealing with this virus over several months. That my local Wal Mart is low on a lot of items. That I cannot go from store to store hunting for items when I am (as we all are) in the high risk group. Looking at months of social isolation. A friend called me (a guy friend) and I starting crying on the phone. And then I told him I couldn't go to my haircut appointment. I kind of felt sorry for him--me blubbering about my hair. He was saying " Well what do we do? Can you cut it yourself? I cannot do it". Kind of funny looking back on it.
Rosie- I have a good sized yard- 2 city lots- so I plan on walking around outside. No gardening or yard work (Tanya) but just getting out in the fresh air. I wondered about drive thru eating. It would stretch my pantry items. Our State closed dine in eating, but the carry out/drive thru is open. BUT.... what about employees fixing the food if they are contaminated with COVID-19 !!! Could we get sick by eating what they fixed when coughing, sneezing, and maybe not good hand hygiene. So canned items and food I fix would be cleaner. Thank you for mentioning Psalms 90 and 91. I need to turn this anxiety over to God.
Mel- Oh my !!! Praying for her and you. How much more do we have to deal with.
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Mel, Thinking about you and your DD. I hope you’re able to keep in touch by phone, that she feels well enough to talk & let you know how she’s doing. The no visitor policy is a tough one to follow but hopefully is worth doing overall.
Tanya, great finds with lavender and soothing sounds. I plan to watch less tv and read some of the books I’ve had sitting around. My brother is an avid reader and frequent library user. It’s one thing that gets him out of his house, now it’s closed indefinitely like almost everything.
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Candy, I am about to find out how I will be affected by restaurant closures as well since I do not drive. I do have plenty of meat and cheese at home but also enjoy burgers. I am going to call the restaurant to find out if I can still go in and pick up food. We do now have a state of emergency declared in my province which is good to flatten the curve of infection.
As far as how much information I will take in, I don't have cable but will not watch this 24/7. While we need to be informed, we do not need to be panicked. Anybody with stress building about this needs to turn off the news sometimes. Not to never listen to the news about it, but just get the stuff we need to know ie what is open or closed, grocery stores that have reduced hours, things like that. Watching constantly will be detrimental to people. I watch my country news and also my local news for updates and then stay away from it. Can't live in fear. Need to be wise about it, take seriously, but not panic. That stress will kill more people.
I do think it is wise to close business, schools and whatever else. That way there is less of a chance of hospitals being overwhelmed but we still must not panic.
I am still going to take walks outside by myself and stay as healthy as possible. I will also need to go to different stores to find beans etc on different days of the week too. No choice about that.
Hope everyone is OK in this outbreak and can find things to ease this stress.
Mel, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, hugs to both of you.
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Candy - Hang in there! It's hard to stay positive and harder when you're alone. Sending you a big hug.
Micmel - Good grief! Hope your DD feels better soon! I know you want to be there for her.
Yesterday I had to do an MRI at a hospital near Chicago. I was met by a guard at the door and put on my facemask. Had to cancel lunch with my DD to be on the safe side. Hate having to stay away from her family :-(. My test results were okay although the pain remains constant. Oh well.
Getting outside every other day or so is helping me feel less trapped in the house. I went out Sunday afternoon and no one was on the trail except me. Saw one of the first robins I've seen this season and saw an owl, too. Check out the All Trails app to see if there are trails near you. I might even tackle the quilts that are on my to do list. I think I've "aged" the fabric enough.
I'm dropping off a bottle of sparkling rose to a friend's house today and we plan to facetime later this week to have a bubbly beverage together. Her son's wife had twins on Sunday. Can you imagine being in the hospital, having two little babies and caring for a two year old in the middle of this virus thing? Yikes!
Thinking of you all and how we'll get through this!
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lwrite, facetiming is a great idea to feel less isolated. I still have to go out for groceries every few days as I cannot carry them all myself. I need the outdoor walks as my mental health requires it. I don't have a lot of people I would actually go out with and that seems to be on hold for the forseeable future. As long as I can get provisions, I will be happy. I will be checking for beans as that is a staple. Have plenty of frozen beef and chicken so covered that way. No spinach in sight so will be checking different places for that.
My province has set up a number you can call to have people come to your home and check you for the covid 19. I do think that is a good idea too.
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Candy,
I feel for you. I can hear the panic and stress in what you are writing. As others have said, I am finding that watching or listening to the news 24/7 (or as much of that as I'm awake) is absolutely stressing me out. I've also decided that I'm not going to worry about food. Walmart will get more stocked up -- supposedly food is in the supply chain, it's the delivery that's the difficulty right now because stores don't usually get daily deliveries. Hopefully that will straighten out soon. Perhaps you can call back your Walmart in a day or two and find out when they expect deliveries and then maybe you can get your order filled with at least some of what you need and want.
I was supposed to have a nuclear bone scan next week, which, when coupled with my normal blood tests and faslodex shots, would have had me at the hospital for 5-6 hours. I sent my oncologist a note through the patient portal and asked about delaying the bone scan (especially since I've had a recent CT and MRI) and she said yes, absolutely, that test should be canceled for the time being -- I'll have the schedulers cancel it and then move your other two appointments closer together so you can get in and out of the hospital more quickly. So I'm happy about that. Although I am seen at Hopkins and I think that Baltimore has only had one reported case of covid 19, I still don't want to hang around the hospital for hours and hours.
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The lucky part is it seems not to hurt kids (so far). But kids will be stir crazy! And they touch EVERYTHING....
I had "dinner" last night with a friend -- we chatted on the phone while we both ate dinner in our own homes. He has his in-laws at his house so being really careful not to bring it home. My son and i have been hunkering down and cooking. The other night he made pasta w homemade noodles, a first. I think I will bake bread for the heck of it. We are trying new things and using the time to get organized around the house.
My system: in my car, I have hand sanitizer, wipes. On my porch: clorox cleaner & paper towels. When I go out to the store, I wear gloves, then remove and toss before I touch my car. Then sanitize my hands, keys, and steering wheel. Then home. At door, I remove shoes and spray the soles and then set them to dry.
My Mom and Dad (86/92) are moving to my town in a few weeks. I have been getting their house ready for them. I had the bathroom made into a "wet room"... they are not in wheelchairs but they cant get in and out of a tub without a lot of help and they are both too modest to accept the help. A normal shower gets crowded w a walker and most have sills that are hard to step over. This new bath you can to roll into the room in a wheelchair (36" pocket door) if needed, and the entire room other than the nook for the toilet is a large tiled 'shower' that drains to one area, and the main shower part where the control is has a bench to sit down on & a hand held shower. So they can bathe without it being a sponge bath, I even did a hospital ceiling track shower curtain that will glide easily.
This was what we decided on a few months ago -- rather than a retirement community-- due to their large dog. Might have saved their lives.... to keep them away from a lot of other people...
The house has really pretty views so between being in hot water frequently, being nearby me and one grandchild, and looking at the sunrises and sunsets I think they will be pretty happy here!
I am SO glad they are not in a senior facility and will be right nearby me through this time. They live in N California now and they are under orders to "shelter in place." I will drive up to move them in a few weeks when the house is ready.. It's good for me to complete a 2 week quarantine prior to going just to be sure I do not have it.
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Rosie~Thank you. She's been texting me all Night and morning. She's scared She's using words like Momma And mother She only uses those when something is wrong. I can't even do a damn thing to help her. Good thing is she moved her bowls. So the pain has given some. Now she's left with the aftermath of pain. I'm hoping it was just an isolated incident. Crazy things are happening everywhere! I want to see her. But can't go.
Hi Bev Jen! ~Glad your timing worked out in the end. Nothing like being at the hospital way too long. Yuck!
Mara~ walking that hill today? Be careful you amazing woman!
Tanya~ Hello sweetness. Thanks about my DD. I'm Worried for sure Momma Bear is out!
Also Candy thank you ! I got a little freaky last night about wondering if I'm Really Goingto get this shit. Then I saw this!!!How are we NOT suppose to get this? The virus is obviously resilient as heck! Wash hand wash hands. Our only real defense. And now they want us to stay home like more pushy. Also warned of hoarding food and supplies with a baseline hint that government would Get involved if they had to. I'm thinking. Where the hell are we? This virus stuff just exploded in a matter of a week. Everyone be safe. Much love
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Mel, yes, I will be walking that hill. I also am walking to a couple of grocery stores to see if I can find spinach/the fresh not frozen and beans. Those are the two things I need that are not in stock. Going to check bulk store and see what I can find too.
As far as people isolating, it is OK to go outside for a walk and helps boost immune system. Just stay away from other people as much as possible. Keep that in mind for anyone who is stir crazy. Playgrounds would not be recommended but getting outside can help with boredom for kids and adults, again boosting immune systems to fight off any infection whether normal cold, flu or covid.
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just please be safe,
It looks like calif and ny have the most cases. Seattle also. Which is where I believe it came into the country. China flys into there usually. So I’m just still in dis belief that this has accelerated this quick and this bad. I hope the worst will peak soon. My sister is a bar tender. She can’t go without and is the bread winner. It’s causing great stress. Once again, what about the little people?
My DD may have an ilieus she needs to see a gi doctor, the fun continues everywhere.
I am going to take a walk today as well I’m going to go batty I bet a lot of DH’s and wives won’t like each other soon. Lol and the kids around Oh boy Boom! Then nine months from now there willl be an over abundance of births from this time period of isolation. Lol0 -
waving hello to Santa. Hope you’re well this am, in pocket for anyone who needs it
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Mel, you are right about the increase in babies.
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Hi all.
Planning on walking the treadmill this afternoon--will go outside for a bit, but cloudy and in the 40's here. And read some.
Not to harp on the subject, but I did ask my local Wal Mart when talking to them yesterday about how often they are getting trucks of supplies-- they said every day. The problem is that people are going in as soon as they open and hoarding the supplies. No enforcement of limiting supplies. I told my guy friend that some people's pantries must be totally full. And we agreed that some are probably reselling the supplies for a profit. That is where I think the Government needs to step in. Also, I heard that in some areas of the U.S. that stores are opening for certain hours for people over 65. All fine and dandy, but I am 49 with an immunocompromised status. I do not qualify for the 65 and over shopping.
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Candy~Thats an important subject. I don’t think it’s harping at all. That hoarding I don’t agree with at all. I mean we did stock up on some things. But not overally and or too much over the top. Three weeks of food for a big family is a pretty scary scenario. I would hope that they would Honor the online orders they have received, the prior day first. Before releasing anything out to the public. This is starting to get annoying. People need to relax. About the hoarding part. Daily shipments Key word daily. If everyone uses what they have, then they will be able To Get more , but not if gouging starts. Disgusting behavior. I remember that with hurricane areas and charging outrageous prices for cases or singles of water. Those people should be strung up!
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Candy, I thought church meant community. Why isn't your pastor asking the congregation (maybe via email) for volunteers to pick up a few things for the high-risk church members? When people are going to go to the store, they can call or text these high-risk people and ask what they need. I'm not a church member but I have a friend who texted me this morning as she was heading out, and later she will drop off whatever she was able to get from my wish list.
Have you tried talking to the manager at WalMart and asking if they can please honor your order? Play the C card for sure. Also maybe talk to local government? I am frustrated on your behalf. This is not right. As far as over 65, the spirit of that is to assist people who are not as able to fight, and that includes you. Like the Americans with Disabilities Act. If there are any provisions for seniors and disabled, you should be included. Claim your status. Ask for help.
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I took the bus out to a different grocery store as my local did not have beans. Since beans are the most nutritional thing I like to eat, I was hoping for more. There were black beans there so I bought a couple. I also was forced to pick up kale too as I want a green vegetable and spinach was unavailable. The store was out of meat, which I do not need as I have a ton of frozen burger patties both beef and chicken. Where I live, you cannot eat in a restaurant but you can pick up burgers either drive thru or go in. One nice thing about people staying in is that my bus was not crowded and we stayed far apart. I will keep looking for items when I have time as well.
I am still out walking as well. This is good for me and my immunitiy I feel. I cannot stay indoors but can still be outside and further away from people as is recommended. Also called my cancer clinic to make sure my appointments are still happening. Good thing I thought of this. They are cancelling appointments for some people until later. Mine are not cancelled which is fine. Not really worried about it but do think the cancer clinic is wise to act with caution.
I am not watching about covid all the time because that is not helpful. I check on the news on facebook with two canadian news channels and pick up info I need to know. Other than that, I am pretending that my life is normal.
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Mel, I am so sorry to hear you daughter is in the hospital and you cannot be with her. That is the worst, when we can't, in this case literally, be there for our kids. She knows you are with her in spirit. Thank goodness for texting. I have a dear close family member who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I promised to be at her side through it all. I went to appointments with her but then I had to miss one because of my drug side effects. I was with her on lumpectomy day, but yesterday my doctor told me I must stay home. She will have to go to the MO appointment, RO appointment etc. alone. Look, in my book a big reason to be alive is to be here for my family, and now this Covid-19 thing is isolating us.
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Shetland- How are YOU doing, my friend. You posted about a high fever. How are you?
I have a good church, but small congregation, and elderly. My pastor is 83 years old. One member dropped off a plate of food Sunday (we had a meal after church and I didn't go). She mentioned getting grocery items for me, but she is in her 70's with COPD herself. She should really be isolating herself. If she is still shopping, I would not want to add to her list and then have her deliver the items to me.
After I had my breakdown on the phone with my guy friend last night, he mentioned looking for any items I cannot get thru Wal Mart online shopping. I appreciated that and will probably take him up on it. He works full time, so he will need to try the stores in our area after his workday.
I know the 65 and over shopping idea is good, but I think they should somehow say seniors and anyone who is disabled. Of course, how would they do that. I LOOK healthy. You cannot see my low white counts. But you know if I showed up at the times specified for seniors, I would be turned away. If the stores were not out of items, I would just order online and pick up at the pickup location and all would be ok. It is the lack of groceries/ paper items that is the issue.
So.... I walked for 30 minutes on the treadmill. Probably will walk each day now since no other commitments to go to.
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Mel,
Is your DD still in the hospital? I am so sorry. We are all feeling the effects of the craziness, but I feel for you with not being able to be there with her.
I’ll be praying that everything goes well for her and quickly. You don’t need this stress on top of everything else.
Waving hi to Tanya. At least the sun feels nice!
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BooBoo~Yes she is still in the hospital No visits allowed. Poor thing is scared. They are keeping her to make sure she will be able to tolerate solid food And that it doesn’t twist again. I’m a worried worried momma!
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Mel hopefully she’ll get all the help and healing she needs and get home soon.
Booboo waving back at you!
Tanya
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