My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Kitty- Post your results after Thursday.
Living- No I have not signed the papers with my attorney yet. Last week he emailed me a draft of the Will for me to review, and if ok, then I can sign. I have not even reviewed it yet. It sits in my email inbox. I just have not felt like dealing with it.
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Mailing treats to each other, now that would be a lot of fun.
Moth and others going through treatment issues, hope they resolve soon so you can get back to life.
I did not do much on the weekend but had to get a prescription today. Wore cleats which is normal now but did get more tired on the walk due to the snow softening up some and the feet sort of sliding back. Made it no problem, bout 70 mins round trip. I can see how all the melted snow will create another ice rink for us so glad for the cleats I have.
My cat is limping on one of his hind legs, just started today. He is not off his food or yowling when he walks so I will wait and see if it is just a sprain. He won't let me close enough to make sure he did not simply step on something so I will keep an eye on it.
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KittyKat, nice to see you. I hope you are stable.
LivingIVLife, yay on getting to see your son. I hope he’s doing okay without his wonderful caregiver and that there are other wonderful people to be with him.
Mara, I hope it’s something little with your cat and he heals quickly
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Well, I reviewed the Will and sent an email to my attorney with some more questions I have for him. So I got that far today. I just have not wanted to deal with it. I am tired of discussing death.
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KBL- I think of Debbie everyday. My son does have other great workers to care for him but there will never be another Debbie. Thank you for asking.
Candy- way to go on the Will. Nobody ever likes to think of death.
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Candy, glad you are further along in the will processing.
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Hi Ladies~I just wanted to give all you ladies a compliment who fight this battle alone. You’re just simply amazing. My DH does a lot with the house and cooks and laundry and I don’t know what I would do without him around each day. You ladies are really something else. You should hold your head high.
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good to see everyone enjoying time without kids and grandkids. For those who are struggling with treatment and side effects, I really hope it all evens out soon for you. I know it all…just.. plain…sucks.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. DH had a work deadline yesterday and couldn’t figure out something at 1am (bedtime), and his stress became a little of my stress by proxy. Can’t help him as it’s computer programming-type stuff. Didn’t get to sleep until 4am and had to get up to go into the office for the second time this year. However, I’m so lucky they don’t mind when I stroll in at 11:30.
Anyways the whole time I was getting ready for work, doing my eye makeup, putting on my wig, finding “real” clothes and shoes, packing my meds, lotions, nausea bags, slippers, snacks, water, I started to get down and wondered what is it all for? Why am I doing all this? Got a chemo stomach ache on the short 10 minute drive to the office and thought, why, why, why?
Well the small office was buzzing with activity - IT problems, accounting issues, deadlines for some, a new dog! I caught up with my friends, and I was given some fun (to only me, ha!) things to work on (it’s been slow lately). So for once in a long time, I felt almost normal. Driving home in the sunshine, I realized what I have right now, despite this shitshow. And that’s something.
I meet with MO tomorrow to relay what MDAnderson recommended which is different. Will be open to her reactions but really hope she concurs. I don’t want to wonder.
DH figured out his work problem today. I knew he would. He’s so smart, my brain can’t handle all that tech stuff but he’s really got a knack and passion for it. He’s an artist and graphic designer officially but moving into more of a techy role. I’m so proud of him. Makes it bittersweet to know he’s got some new things to explore/become when I’m long gone.
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LivingIVLife, I’m so glad there are others. My heart is sad for you.
Candy, I totally understand. It sucks to think of death.
Mel, my husband is a big help too. I’m glad you’ve got him. If I could get mine to cook, he’d be perfect. Lol.
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Mara- I hope your kitty is ok -Speaking as a helicopter cat parent!
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Kikomoon, Tigger is fine. Guessing he might have had litter stuck in his foot pads. No more limping now.
I love that work is something that makes you feel normal and dare Isay happy.
Got separate calls from MO and RO confirming neither doc think there is cancer in the brain st this point. My MO said CT scan was NED as well. Brain will be followed up every 3 months as well.
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Great news, Mara. I am so happy for you
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That's excellent news Mara.
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Thank thank you everyone. Seven years into this cancer, lucky so far.
Edited to add that I was just checking the weather report for a possible walk but it looks like we are getting our first significant show dump and we are warned to stay home. You don't have to tell me twice. Will hunker down here until roads are plowed which usually takes a few days. No need to venture out unless necessary. Went for groceries yesterday and get in between orders at Walmart. Noticing more empty shelves here, hope that more truckers are hired to make up for the protesting few. Supply chain needs to be maintained here. We will see. Could also have been the time of day I was shopping as it was evening. Will walk on my treadmill after meals since I have reintroducted english muffins, crumpets and garlic bread to go with meals and soups as well.
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Super news Mara!!
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The prognosticating rodent declared 6 more weeks of winter 🙄🙄. For those of you in the path of storm Landon, be safe and I hope there are no power outages.
Mel, you are so right about the women here who fight this battle alone. They are real troopers, deserving of many accolades
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Mara,
So very, very good to hear your news. I know that was probably weighing heavily on you, so congrats. Good stuff. Big hugs.
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Kiko,
I stopped working not long after my metastatic diagnosis, and there were (are) pros and cons. I think the key to this disease is to stay active and involved in something…anything that takes your mind away from the big “C”. Isolation is our worst enemy. Thanks Covid. Good job. But seriously, it must have felt good to see your colleagues and interact with them. Normal stuff. Hoping you can keep it up.
I am personally struggling with memory issues. I joke about it with my sisters, but they know it’s starting to become a real issue. I try to play word games and other fun things on my iPad, but it doesn’t help. Not sure if that means I have brain mets? Oh well, I’m counting the days until I move to PA. I can’t wait to be with my peeps.
Love to all
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Wonderful Mara !!!!
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Laurie, can't wait for your move either as I know it will make you so happy. I hope you can find out the issue. Keep up with the brain exercises with the games, word games are fantastic. When I do the daily jumble, I repeat each word so I do not forget when I go to solve. Repeat things mentally as much as possible to yourself. It is scary when the memory is not as good as before. I do not believe that memory being affected is necessarily brain mets. The most common symptoms of mets are things that may be associated with brain swelling, more commonly seizures, weakness depending on location of mets. The memory issues are more likely all the treatments you went through. If you can read, even short articles, that will help, ask people things you can't remember and say it over mentally a few times, it will stick more. Walking, sleep and eating are beneficial depending on your mobility. If your issues are more serious, family will make sure you get any help needed. I apologize for the long post, just dealing with my own brain has been hard work and I can empathize with the fear of losing memory. Take some advice if you wish or store it away for later. If you are worried about mets, get a scan or MRI to make sure there are not any brain mets. I feel so fondly that I just want to make things easier for you in your life.
I do occasionally forget names that I have to make myself say again to retain them. My memory I am sure must be affected by all the treatment over the years, menopause and middle age. I find doing all the surveys, other ways to earn a bit of extra money each month keeps me sharp. Solving technology issues helps me too and the daily jumble too is helpful. I think keeping busy helps and saying a person's name a few extra times in my mind helps keep it there. A lot of younger days and people have been forgotten by me which is good since elementary and high school were full of bullying and generally were not good. Considering how much we get through drugs, forced menopause and such, I am not surprised memory can be affected.
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I just called doc's office to see where my CT report is. It's been technically two days but really three, and I've been spoiled getting it fairly quickly each time. When I called, they said it's not on my portal because it's not ready. That is very strange and makes you think. I'm hoping it's just because they're backlogged or something. It's just not like them to not plop it in my portal before day's end.
Booboo, sorry about your memory. I am finding I lose a word here and there and fight to remember it sometimes.
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KBL, I totally read into "late" reports, thinking something must be wrong. Hopefully it's just a backlog.
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Sunshine99, at least I’m not the only one. Lol.
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Mara I’m glad tigers all better. Congrats on great results!
KBL I hope you get your results soon. Waiting makes the doom gloom machine go off in my brain too. Sending hugs and waiting with you.
Mel you’re right I do appreciate my DH yesterday he drove me to two appts had to wait and pick up grandkids in between and then we had to get take out bc he can’t cook.
Candy my regular onc told me to hold off on vaccine booster 4 bc he said the vaccine wasn’t effective against the newest two omicron variants. He said he’ll let me know in March but right now hold off. He started saying some things about long term effects and then stopped probably because my face was filled with dread.
My second appt Moffit was for my back hip leg pain. Still same story big rod screw surgery which may or may not work and would involve breaking my spine where the khyphoplasty was done twice. I said no thanks. My regular onc told me not to do that surgery unless I was already in a wheelchair with nothing to lose. So I was referred to pain management clinic for steroid shots. First available appt is near end of March. There’s a Starbucks in that hospital and it’s in the lobby. Lots of people sipping coffee and eating crumpets. Deep sigh. I kept my mask on and had a lot of anxiety about passing that area.
Booboo maybe Maras memory tricks can work. Would you consider scans? Mae and Mara probably have lots of advice about symptoms etc. sending hugs 🫂
Oh well I’ve already written too much. Thanks for listening.
Tanya
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Thank you Tanya!
KBL, I would take the lengthier wait to business due to covid or staff shortages than a problem. Having said that I know it is hard waiting as well so hope it comes soon.
Found a new and safer walking method in the winter and when it gets stinkin hot in the summer. Not going to try to walk across the city anymore but going to keep using my treadmill after meals for at least 20 mins. I can walk much faster, though I am hanging on, heart rate goes way up and it is different than a Leslie Sansone walk although those will be other walks. Outdoor walks will be to a bus stop if need extra groceries. Walking post meals should rev up my metabolism and make up for the sitting while doing surveys or other stuff for extra money. The 20 mins also fits in with my preference for shorter exercise sessions. Stopped counting steps as well, just focusing on the activity. More I walk at home, easier it is outside as I lift my feet on the treadmill as much as I do outside. In the spring, I plan to take the walking poles and practice Nordic walking on a flat surface, either at a park or mall walking, may be able to combine a walmart trip with mall walking as well. We will see.
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Yes, the waiting is hard, but part of my brain says everything should be fine because my tumor markers have shot down since I've been on Xeloda. I'm imagining a backlog with a tiny bit of apprehension. Lol
Tanya, my husband offers to drive me. I think that's sweet. Sorry you don't have many options for your pain.
Mara, sounds like a good plan. I sometimes miss my treadmill but make myself walk a mile every day. We don't have snow, so that is easier. We just have the summer awful heat. I go earlier in the summer.
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Mara - Congrats on the great scan! So glad Kitty is okay, too.
Candy - I still need to do a new will and all the other important documents. It will be a relief to be done with so I know that everything will be distributed as I intend it. Unless my husband changes everything later. haha! I won't give that another thought.
Kikomoon - I like my job for the most part. It's the getting up in the morning, packing my lunch every night, the long commute that gets tiresome. Not sure what the next drug will be like so I worry about that. So I have been mulling over disability retirement with the hope I get it so I can keep my health insurance forever though at considerable cost. There's a 180 page benefits guide that I have scanned through looking for details on the qualifications, but they don't spell it out and I have to submit paperwork to get a determination. I don't want to do that if it puts the wheels in motion. I sent them an email a couple days ago, but no response yet. But as for work, I do like talking to people about regular work stuff since it's a nice distraction from my own drama.
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KBL, I am mixing the exercise up. First 20 mins after breakfast was treadmill but I did 10 mins of Leslie Sansone after lunch which was good. Small and manageable. No more step counting and I feel better already. I am also eating more garlic bread and english muffins so am keeping the blood sugar in check for that reason with walking post meals. Should be easier to maintain for myself.
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Mara- congratulations on the great scan results
I saw my MO today and found out my scan results were all stable. This is good news as nothing has changed since 2019. There is a small decrease on one of the lymph nodes lesions. Yay!
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Thank you living, congratulations on your stable scan as well. Glad you got to see your family again. It always lifts the spirits for sure!
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