Fill Out Your Profile to share more about you. Learn more...

Dark sense of humor?

Options
2

Comments

  • elderberry
    elderberry Member Posts: 1,067
    Options

    Yogatyme: Will it come to this? The gear I am wearing is for spraying a preservative on my dolls. It has scary warnings on the can, most of it in Japanese so I had to go on line to read the precautions. I DO NOT actually shop in this. But I thought the pic might make a for small laugh in these dark day.

    OUT TO SEE IF I CAN FIND TOILET PAPER

    image

  • buttonsmachine
    buttonsmachine Member Posts: 339
    Options

    Thanks for starting this thread illimae, you're a gem. I find that many people don't "get it" if/when I talk this way, so I often keep those kinds of jokes to myself. I have one or two close friends who get it though, and maybe few family members.

    I've been mostly staying home for the pandemic, and I stumbled upon this podcast: https://wondery.com/shows/dying-for-sex/#

    It's about a woman living with MBC, her dating life, and her best friend. At times it's laugh out loud hilarious, but becomes more deeply pensive as the end of her story approaches. It's not exactly a light listen, but I think people on this thread might appreciate it.

  • Yogatyme
    Yogatyme Member Posts: 1,793
    Options

    Elderberry, your photo is hilarious! Seriously, some of the products we use are almost as scary as this virus! Thanks for the laugh and be safe!

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    image

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,699
    Options

    Thanks for the laughs this morning, ladies! I've just been diagnosed with a recurrence/metastasis. I have two scans tomorrow and an appointment with my oncologist.

    While I was waiting to get the biopsy (AKA the "bibopsy" - from My Big Fat Greek Wedding) my husband and I were walking our senior Airedale around our neighborhood. I said to him, "With your luck, I'll die, the dog will die and your truck will quit all at the same time." We got a laugh out of that. Sounds like a Country Western song. I haven't told anyone else that line - I think they'd be appalled! Let 'em be appalled, I say. What am I supposed to do? Never laugh again?

    Happy Monday, everyone. Wash your hands! :)

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    If you don't laugh you cry I always say. At our house between DH who has almost died multiple times (transplant patient and in Stage II real failure right now) and me with breast cancer and fighting dementia to keep it from taking my language skills away we just say we have to laugh while we can. Otherwise we would not have given up on this stupid fight along time ago and we are not ready to kick it in yet. Hang in there!

    Happy

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    Local DJ called Paul McCartney's song Band on the run the COVID-19 song before he played it---

    Stuck inside these four walls
    Sent inside forever
    Never seeing no one
    Nice again like you
    Mama you, mama you

    If I ever get out of here
    Thought of giving it all away
    To a registered charity
    All I need is a pint a day
    If I ever get outta here


    Made us laugh at least!


  • byhisgracetwice
    byhisgracetwice Member Posts: 218
    Options

    illimae -/ so refreshing to find others who share my warped, gallows sense of humor. Best way to introduce myself is a conversation I had with my Dad. My Mom was end stage COPD. Dad then 70s still very active, working full time, incapable of staying at home. I’d temporarily left my home and husband to move in with them from out of state to spend as much time with Mom as she had left. Dad said “just be glad it’s your mama back there in bed instead of me.” I replied “no need to worry about that Dad, I already would have taken you to the backyard and shot you.”

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    image

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options


    Need some virus humor?

    • Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
    • I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
    • I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
    • Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
    • PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
    • Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
    • I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
    • This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
    • So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
    • Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
    • (My favorite) My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
    • Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
    • I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
    • I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to ''Puerto Backyarda''. I'm getting tired of ''Los Livingroom''.
    • Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
    • Day 6 of Homeschooling quaranteen : My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
    • Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under….

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,699
    Options

    BC, I went to hit the "Like" button, but then I remembered there is no "Like" button. I almost hit "Report this post" before I realized it wasn't the "Like" button.

    Anyway, those are some of the funniest statements I've seen. Bless you for sharing them - even if I did almost choke on my coffee. Now please excuse me while I wipe the coffee off my monitor and keyboard.

    I deleted my next comment because it was a duplicate of this one.


  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,699
    Options

    BC, I went to hit the "Like" button, but then I remembered there is no "Like" button. I almost hit "Report this post" before I realized it wasn't the "Like" button.

    Anyway, those are some of the funniest statements I've seen. Bless you for sharing them - even if I did almost choke on my coffee. Now please excuse me while I wipe the coffee off my monitor and keyboard.


  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    Glad you enjoyed a laugh. If you do not laugh you cry. We have had a lot of medical issues in our house since DH is a transplant patient and I have cancer and dementia I am fighting as well. We always have felt you have to laugh at things to keep you sane. The docs and nurses think we are nuts sometimes but keeps us from being depressed too much. Keep laughing and wipe that keyboard!

    Happy



  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900
    Options

    BC - thank you for the laughs. I make it a practice not to change out of the sweats until late in the morning. Most pants still fit. My dog and I laugh together and share jokes all the time. The cat is a little more serious. Didn't find a cartoon for social distancing from refrigerator, but serious link below. Also, isn't social distance an oxymoron? https://wexnermedical.osu.edu/blog/need-help-social-distancing-yourself-from-your-refrigerator

  • Seilien
    Seilien Member Posts: 27
    Options

    Is there a way to get this shirt? It really resonates with me. Or something similar. Thank you for any help.It made me smile. The I tried 1.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,652
    Options

    seilien, I tried to find it but no luck and it was on my old phone that crashed, I wish I could help.

    everyone, sorry I failed to acknowledge any posts this year, I read them but was going through a tough time and I’m only now getting back to normal. I did enjoy reading though :)

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    image

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,652
    Options

    We definitely needed a sense of humor for this year. Happy New Year’s Eve to all.


    Off topic but I bought a beautiful dress and now I’m not sure where to actually wear it, funeral maybe?

    image

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    Very pretty!!!

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,196
    Options

    Oh gorgeous dress. Hmm - I guess I could change after my dinner in the kitchen and wear it to read the paper in the living room. Still - it's beautiful.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,652
    Options

    Thanks bcincolorado and minus.

    I’m also thinking, if I get a black vaile, I could be Lydia from Beetlguise for Halloween.

  • lillyishere
    lillyishere Member Posts: 775
    Options

    image

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,711
    Options

    See the source image

  • lillyishere
    lillyishere Member Posts: 775
    Options

    image

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,652
    Options

    lol, love those!

    And I think I need the F it, I tried t shirt 😆

  • Kersdan
    Kersdan Member Posts: 3
    Options

    I am soo happy to find this!! I too believe in laughter and I LOVE dark humor. I love to watch people react to the bizzare things I say.

    In the OR before being knocked out for my mastectomy I told the surgeon that I wanted to take my breast home because a taxidermist friend had volunteered to mount it and place it above my fireplace.

    I have told my family that if there is a hospital stay near the end I want the room filled with BonVoyage and "We will miss you" balloons. And I want at least one person to come visit dressed up like the Grim Reaper!

    I know..I am one sick puppy!

  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options

    kersdan your post made me smile - thanks

  • BlueGirlRedState
    BlueGirlRedState Member Posts: 900
    Options

    Kersden - your mounting the breast beats my keeping the mold made for braces from 2017.