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Anyone else feel good, like they don't have cancer?

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  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 198
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    I think it's FANTASTIC that you feel good! What a blessing, hope you continue to feel so good until there's a cure, how awesome to hear that. Now that my active treatment is over, just anastrazole now, I'm feeling pretty great too, enjoying getting back in shape and back to enjoying all my former activities. Only a few lingering s.e.s like CIPN, neuropathy in my hands and feet, still aggravating me, but all in all, I'm with you! Feeling good. Took awhile but...😃

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,572
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    Calikelly, congrats for completing active treatment! I’m still doing well, just gotta get back to the gym 😀

  • oxygen18
    oxygen18 Member Posts: 10
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    Yes, I am one of those who are feeling good much of the time, despite risk of serious recurrence. At times it does feel almost 'unfair' to feel so great, and I wish I could come up with THE formula and put it in the public domain. Some of what has helped me is exercise, appreciating the moment and really understanding that the present is all there truly is, and, whenever I feel awful, being of service in whatever ways I can, or otherwise distracting myself. I do have somber moods, sometimes several times a day, and I observe them and let them be for a little while, then let go of them. I tried dozens of methods and kept looking until I found the mood elevation/stabilization system that worked for me. Illimae, I am so happy that you are feeling good, and that you are sharing that, I think it is helpful to know that dealing with all that cancer crap is entirely compatible with feeling happy.

  • miranda2060
    miranda2060 Member Posts: 207
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    oxygen18, that is the optimal approach. Present-moment consciousness, exercise, distraction and service -- you really summed it up well. I have periods of intense fear and anxiety, and also serenity and joy. I like what you wrote about observing your emotions -- I have started doing this too, just visualizing myself putting those thoughts into a drawer and closing it for now.

    I do believe exercise is key -- increasing mine has been of enormous benefit in coping with cancer and treatment.

  • CaliKelly
    CaliKelly Member Posts: 198
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    I so agree! Exercise and anything active and fun is my mood elevator every day! Id love to start a fun exercise class ( im a former fitness trainer) just for breast cancer warriors. If people can get moving, within their limitations of course, to some fun upbeat music , they forget they are exercising! When I tell people I just finished almost 3 years of cancer treatments, they are really surprised. My happy personality is what surprises them. I can't help it😉, I have trouble sustaining a depressed mood, 😄

  • miranda2060
    miranda2060 Member Posts: 207
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    That's wonderful, CaliKelly. I'm assuming you're in Cali, so unfortunately I can't come to the class if you start it. I have found so much help in the yoga classes offered at my hospital. The teacher is so wonderful -- she is a former oncology nurse who decided she wanted to help cancer patients this way.

    I'm so happy today because my plastic surgeon cleared me, four weeks after my revision/fat grafting surgery, to resume my activities -- my favorite of which is yoga!

    I really love to hear positive thinking. It makes a big difference. Another benefit of exercise is that it helps prevent recurrence -- significantly!

  • Sportymom
    Sportymom Member Posts: 40
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    I am so confused about my diagnosis that I just got. I am stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/4 sentinel nodes positive (three with macromets and one with micrometastases, and one node [don't know which one] has micropapillary features) ER/PR+, HER2 -, no extranodal extension, but LVI.

    I am 45 and feel fine; I play hockey twice a week, cycle, swim when I can, eat well most of the time. I don’t feel like I have cancer either. I feel like this is the most horrific joke as now I have feelings of hopelessness and despair.

    I finished my bone scan today so it might even be worse. After that I have a CT-scan. I don’t feel real right now and am very depressed but feeling like I have cancer? No.

    I should mention that I had mastitis almost 7 years ago with my second child that spread right to the axilla area where I found my tiny lumps (11 mm and 2 mm respectively). I also had been wearing an underwire bra (which is stupid for a small breasted women like myself) for all that time and the underwire ended in the EXACT place I had my tumour(s). They do know that chronic inflammation can cause cancer (ie Crohn’s and Colitis can cause colon cancer and HPV can can cervical cancer). Regardless, I am still terrified and going through the initial heartbreak but I, except psychologically, I don’t feel like I have cancer

  • santabarbarian
    santabarbarian Member Posts: 2,310
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    I am happy to stumble across this thread.

    First illimae I am always happy to read your posts, I love your moxy and your fabulous selfies and your road trips and red lipstick! You spread so much sun with your attitude! and spiritI That is beautiful. Great thread, thank you for making it.

    I too feel really good, very lucky, still aware of what I have been through (reminded by my higher need for sleep) but 90% normal and in many respects, better. I have seen a lot of silver linings through this time, realized many beautiful things, as well as having had a very fortunate response to chemo that leaves me NED. But I care for myself as though cancer can return, since it can.

    Sportymom, give yourself a little time to absorb this shock. Sadly, you will probably feel like you have cancer at some point during treatment (me: when putting my head down on the kitchen counter to rest, while waiting for the coffee to finish dripping) -- but the good news is being strong going in will help you, and maintaining fitness during treatment will help you fight cancer too. 3.5 months post final rads now, I feel very very good.

    We might as well feel good and enjoy our (always finite) lives!!


  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,572
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    Sportymom, you’re in the worst of it right now but it will become manageable. Please don’t blame yourself either, sure we have risks but an underwire bra didn’t cause this. When the occasional darkness creeps up on me, I focus on how I feel and so far I still feel good. I wish you the best luck wish scans and treatment 🙂

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,572
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    Thanks Santabarbarian, I feel very lucky to have a personality that is joyful and easygoing. Those who aren’t glass half full types really seem to struggle.

    Also, I’ve been wearing that lipstick since I was 13, Revlon discontinued it before cancer, so I bought several tubes on amazon thinking I’d have to ration it for the next 30-40 years. Now I don’t worry, lol. (Sunny disposition/dark sense of humor)

  • JCSLibrarian
    JCSLibrarian Member Posts: 548
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    I also feel really good even though I am stage IV with mets to my lung. In the beginning, the doctors all looked very sad around me. The first thing I did was tell my MO that I was not interested in knowing any prognosis. I badgered him about how settling for systemic chemo as the only treatment just did not sound right. I found some articles on how MBC could be treated with curative intent. I have had two PET scans that show both tumors seem to be dead. He agreed to my having a lumpectomy and SBRT treatments. And has started using the term curative intent!

    Through this process I have had few side effects. Hair fell out, food tastes funny sometimes and occasional diarrhea, but I still walk three miles every other day. I stay busy with projects and social activities. People always ask how I am feeling and why don’t I feel bad. I am determined to be as healthy as possible while getting treatment. Going hiking tomorrow! There may come a time I am not feeling well, so Iwant to enjoy things now.

    Great topic, Illimae!

  • Skier-girl
    Skier-girl Member Posts: 3
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    Great post!!! Although it has only been 1 yr for me, I am feeling great! It took me awhile to get back to a fitness level I can be happy with... and excited that each mountain bike ride, road ride, Orange Theory workout, or run is getting me closer to my level prior to BC.

    I totally took my body for granted. I ate healthy, didn't drink, semi pro athlete and thought I was invincible. One of the many great blessings I have been given in life is athletic ability and the need/excitement to get outdoors and play. When that was taken away from me due to numerous surgeries, and infection and finally flap surgery I couldn't wait to get back at it. Last surgery was March 24th 2019, about 4 months ago. The road back to fitness has been slow, but I have so much motivation now! Will I get back to where I was two years ago?? Maybe, or ... maybe better!! But at 58 yrs old, I am happy with where I am. I will never take my body or ability for granted.

    Everyday is a blessing! I no longer stress over the little things, I see life through different lens's and take my daily Tamoxifen with a huge smile knowing it will help with my risk of recurrence. Maybe BC cancer happens "for us" and not "to us"???? I am so thankful for all I have and thank God everyday.

  • Sportymom
    Sportymom Member Posts: 40
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    Thanks Santabarbarian (LOVE the name) and illimae! Your words of encouragement and acknowledgement are very much appreciated

  • meow13
    meow13 Member Posts: 1,363
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    You know I generally feel good. Most achiness is trying to sleep at night. I have not ridden my bicycle since my DIEP until last week I went 12 miles. Guess what I was fine. Now bike riding back on my list.

  • JaynerK7
    JaynerK7 Member Posts: 34
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    i love this thread. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,939
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    I'm afraid I may have been accidentally a little rude to a new poster a while back. She mentioned something about "now that I am so ill" and I thought she meant she had something to cope with in addition to cancer. I never felt sick at all from breast cancer, and even kidney cancer only made me feel bad the first four or five days after surgery - but not sick, just sore and it was difficult to eat at first because my innards had been pushed and pulled around during surgery. I felt a little sick when I had endometrial cancer (before diagnosis) because I was bleeding so much that I was getting kind of weak. I would think most people feel ill due to treatments like chemo, or even some anti-hormonals, but not from the actual cancer. It may be completely different for Stage 4, of course, with other parts of the body affected.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,572
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    Welcome Jayner :)

    Still feel pretty good despite everything the beast throws at me. Off to the gym today, followed by numerous appointments tomorrow and brain surgery on Wednesday. Hopefully to be recovered enough to travel next month.

  • debal
    debal Member Posts: 600
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    illimae, I've come across your posts from time to time. You are so upbeat and I love your sense of humor. I'm sure you are a great support to many here. Sending you positive thoughts for Wednesday. I wish you a quick recovery. Take care. Hugs to you

  • Seilien
    Seilien Member Posts: 27
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    I appreciate this topic. It is true, there is a lot to be upset and down about. Theres been a lot of uplifting comments.

    Lately, I get the feeling that I am fine. I have no disease from the neck down but brain mets. I feel overly optimistic. Sometimes I wonder if I am in denial because I feel fine. Sure I was upset for several weeks but I feel better now. I am not sure if I am feeling side effects. I had some bad ones during radiation but not much afterwards from any of the treatments I have had.

    Its reassuring to know someone has even remotely felt like I did. I dont know how to describe this feeling of being sick but also ok. It makes me a little worried but helps me live day by day.



  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,572
    edited March 2023
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    So, I've learned since this original post that it’s possible to come back after a long time of struggling. My brain surgery had a serious complication that took 2 years to recover from, Covid hit the world and I started a new chemo that had physical and emotional side effects but now (after a dose reduction), I'M BACK! Cancer is minimal and under control and I'm feeling normal, fully functional and happy again. I've recently turned 48, am retired and live in a remote cabin on a mountain top. I'm so grateful to be living the dream after being sucked into the depths of cancer land in recent years. Best wishes to all :)

  • laughinggull
    laughinggull Member Posts: 511
    edited March 2023
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    illimae, I never followed this thread but wanted to chime in to let you know how happy I am for you. I have been in the forums for more than 5y, and I know you from several threads, and I so appreciate your contributions and attitude. I am high risk of recurrence and also ER+ and HER2+, and you always give me hope that if I have a recurrence, I will be able to deal with it. You rock, girl. You just made my day Heart

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,572
    edited March 2023
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    laughinggull, I truly appreciate the kinds words, thank you so much

  • sarahmaude
    sarahmaude Member Posts: 336
    edited March 2023
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    illimae, I’m so happy to read your update.

    Had never read your original post, and when I saw it in active topics, I immediately nodded thinking about how sometimes I “forget” I have cancer. I was treated with curative intent, and while NED, I know my tumor’s pathology puts me in a higher than average risk for recurrence. With only a year post diagnosis and less than that post treatment, I’m still regrowing hair, dealing with relatively tolerable side effects from AIs, and have ongoing monitoring for years ahead.

    To some extent, today my current status doesn’t feel so different from having asthma, slight osteoarthritis, or other chronic conditions.

    You have been through a lot, looking at your list of treatments. I’m really glad to read that you are having good days again. May they last for many more years!