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Chemo starting December 2018

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Comments

  • BeckyJL
    BeckyJL Member Posts: 81

    Kber, hope you're feeling better! When's your last treatment?

    Nanette - YAASSSSS! That's great news!

  • kber
    kber Member Posts: 243

    My last chemo treatment should be tomorrow, WBC permitting.  I'm tired, but after last week's freakout, I kinda recognized a pattern of peaking anxiety on Wednesdays going into Thursday and then I settle down on Thursday and I'm ok by Friday.  Sometimes just recognizing the pattern is a huge help.

    My MO said that if my WBC is too low for treatment tomorrow, I'll retest on Monday, then Tuesday, etc.  No need to wait a full week.  

    In any event and whenever I have it, I only have one chemo left.  Yay!

  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    kber I hope you're count is good sip yout can finally finish!! Sending warm hugs

  • kber
    kber Member Posts: 243

    hey. Blood counts were still low, but high enough to have chemo today. My MO said if it weren’t my last he would’ve delayed but since we don’t have to worry about it after today he was willing to go ahead. :

  • BeckyJL
    BeckyJL Member Posts: 81

    You. Are. Done! Now, rest and get ready for that graduation!!!

  • AngieInAmsterdam
    AngieInAmsterdam Member Posts: 120

    kber,

    Congratulations on finishing chemotherapy! Good that MO didn’t delay it any further. Now, a few weeks to heal and recover so that you can enjoy a wonderful time with your son for his graduation!! Sending you a big hug from across the Atlantic


  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    Yahoo kber!!!

  • kber
    kber Member Posts: 243

    So I finished chemo, but it doesn't really feel real.  Partially because I spent the weekend alternating between sleeping and, um, purging one way or another, and so spent 3 hours back at the center yesterday rehydrating.  

    I have now had 2 people walk into my office to ask me "if i'm done" and both times I totally misunderstood the question - assuming they were asking if I was done with my conference call or my email.  

    My sister snuck into my house on Friday and hung up balloons and banners that said "F*ck Boris!" (I named my tumor Boris for some reason) and my mom stopped by with champagne, which I put away for later.  

    Nope - not feeling "done" and not ready to celebrate quite yet.  I figure give it a few days or even a couple of weeks and I'll get there.  I think I need to rest and regroup before I pop the champagne open.  

  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    Congrats on finishing chemo KBER!!!! Big (((HUGS))) for just being able to say I finished CHEMO!!! Woooowhoooo!!

  • kber
    kber Member Posts: 243

    Thank you, Nanette!  As the time passes, and I am feeling better, I'm getting more excited about it.  One nurse said something helpful when I was bitching about not feeling immediately better.  She said to remember that every time I felt horrible or have a bad reaction to my last chemo (like needing to rehydrate for 3 hours yesterday) that it was the last time I had to deal with that specific situation.  Yes I'm still dealing with post treatment Tuesday blues, but from here on out, it stops getting worse.  Progress may be slow, and it may be uneven, but it will stop getting worse.  

    (I suppose that's not 100% true.  I'm not convinced I'm keeping all my nails and I've read that neuropathy can peak after treatment ends, but the sentiment is directionally correct, I think.)

  • BeckyJL
    BeckyJL Member Posts: 81

    kber - I felt exactly like this. And every day after, when I felt bad or something hurt, I said to myself, but it doesn't hurt quite as bad as it did, and it's only going to improve.

    I haven't lost any nails yet, but they are still very funky looking. I have one that I think is going to go, but I'm wondering if I put nail polish on where it seems to be cracking/separating if that will "glue" it to the healthy nail coming along below the crack until it grows out and I can trim that part off.

    Yesterday, I thought I saw eyelash new growth.

    Neuropathy in fingers nearly gone, middle toes still feel numb most of the time.

    Hair is coming in. Still seems thinner on the top of my head than the sides, but I'm trying not to worry about that.

    I walked my dog 4 miles this morning at a very fast pace - as fast as I was before all this nonsense. Then this afternoon a friend and I rode our bikes 16 miles. I'm wiped. I still don't have the stamina I think I should have, but I'm doing what I can to get there. I have a big bike outing planned May 18th - 51 mile ride to a big party on Mackinac Island. Hoping I'll be able to finish the ride . ..

    Hope everyone is having an up week, SEs are light to non-existent and cancers disappearing. I think of all of you daily and hope you are well.

  • mcbaker
    mcbaker Member Posts: 1,847

    My fingernails are all fine. My fingers are often tingly, especially when I am moving them. My feet are fairly numb, especially my heels. Half of my toenails are discolored or obviously separating form the nailbeds. My hair is about half an inch long.and seems thick on the top of my head. My eyebrow hairs are all the same length, which looks odd. Past the arch they are still a bit thin.

    I am going to the gym daily, a mile on the treadmill, then an exercise routine. About an hour. Should be able to build up, and much of it I can do at home.

    Emotionally I am depressed, with occasional highs. I need more social interaction. The "suck it in and do what has to be done without thinking" phase has passed, and now I spend too much time contemplating what I have been through. I have a counseling appointment tomorrow.

    And I need to schedule a colonoscopy appointment. Taxol by itself is not very effective against colorectal cancer. Can't use that excuse to beg off.

  • ipenelope
    ipenelope Member Posts: 233

    Hello December chemo ladies!!

    I really wish I had known about this site and board when I started my journey. Even though it's the end of April I started chemo on December 20th doing AC every other week x 4 cycles then Taxol weekly x 12 treatments. I'm on my last week of chemo so on Thursday after about 1230 I will be officially done with the chemo aspect of this battle!! I'm beyond excited to be done though will miss my nurses who have offered me support and friendship through this phase.

    Hope all you ladies are doing good and rocking your chemo!!!💗

  • AngieInAmsterdam
    AngieInAmsterdam Member Posts: 120

    welcome ipenelope,

    its great that you found our December message board. Even if it's on your last Taxol. As I'm reading it appears that the effects of this experience doesn't end when we finish the last round of chemo. The road to recovery back to “normal" is slow. And it also seems the psychological aspect of everything we've been through may be just as difficult to work through.

    So, even though we are done with active therapy, I believe we are only just beginning to discover our new path in this journey.

    I have 2 more rounds of Taxol to go! And will be very happy when it's all done.

    Mary, great to hear that you're at the gym often. In my case, it helps keep me going and managing fatigue. Plus, it gets me out of the house and involving myself with the rest of the world. I tend to get depressed when left with only my thoughts. I keep saying I'll try yoga. Going to put that on my list to start after Taxol.

    Kber and Becky, sounds like recovery PFC is a slow process. Mentally and physically. I'll try not to rush myself back into the swing of things. Especially since I feel like I've been at a standstill since the beginning of all of this. I'm already eyeing some tournaments in June. Though I have no expectations. I just really miss being active and the rush of competition.

    Hope everyone is recovering well.

    xx

  • mcbaker
    mcbaker Member Posts: 1,847

    Last night I had that cloud hanging over my head. Monsignor was out of town at a meeting, so our deacon led a communion service. I might not have gone, but I needed to see my friends. I went with nothing on my head except my 1/2 inch hair!

    I have been stopping at the senior citizen's center on the way home from the gym, just to check the place out. I am too young (69), but the social interaction and learning to play cards are both attractive.

    Had trouble sleeping, and finally broke down and took some benadryl. How I hate Benadryl!

  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    Mary I wonder if there was something in the 'air' last night. I too had a horrible night and cried for the 1st time in MONTHS!!! I had to force myself to get some sort of sleep before my surgery today so I could at least follow along with the directions of my nursing staff. Don't want another night like that for a l-o-n-g time

  • ipenelope
    ipenelope Member Posts: 233

    Nanette7fl~

    I hope your surgery today went great!! I'm sorry you had a rough night last night. Thoughts with you!!

    ~Katie

  • BeckyJL
    BeckyJL Member Posts: 81

    Welcome Penelope! Hope your last round goes smoothly tomorrow!

    Angie, well said. Unfortunately the last round of chemo isn't the end of all this nonsense. For some of us there's radiation, then the estrogen blocker and that's on top of recovering from the SEs of chemo and radiation. And then there's the emotional toll. And for some of us . . . menopause induced by the chemo. Fun times.

    Mary, I'm envious of your hair growth. The only place it seems to be growing fast is on my legs. And I hadn't noticed it until yesterday when it caught the light. I couldn't feel it it was so soft! But boy, there was a lot of it growing, lol. Now if the top of my head would just catch up with the sides a bit more I'd breathe easier.

    Nanette. hope surgery went smoothly! I had a good cry the other day too. I think it has to do with the estrogen blocker I'm on, so I'll be watching that. I wasn't particularly sad or upset then had a wave of sadness overtake me and I started crying - what the heck is up with that!?!?

    Angie, have you been able to golf at all - even just for fun? I'm hoping you get to soon if not!!!!!

    Heading toward the weekend and daughter and her boyfriend are coming home for a couple of days!!!! Hope you all have a good one too.


  • Flower216
    Flower216 Member Posts: 87

    Hi Ladies,

    Nanette...thinking of you today!

    Mary and Becky...I have also been emotional or actually anxious this week. I finished rads and next week I will see my BS and MO. I know  I will start on the estrogen blocker and I will have testing (I think she said MRI) to see if everything I went through the last six months worked. UGH

    Welcome  ipenelope….we have a great group here, you can say whatever is on your mind and we will listen!

    Kber...congrats for finishing chemo-hope you are feeling good!

    Angie...I like how you put it "I believe we are only just beginning to discover our new path in this journey." or I call it our "new normal".

    Be strong everyone and feel good!!


  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    HO Flowers and everyone

    my surgeries went well. PS cleaned up both incisions as my visiting nurse found an infection on right side. He took out the expanders and we'll put new ones (& SMALLER ones) in after radiation. It's amazing how good you can feel without something putting pressure on already sensitive nerves....100% difference from my original surgery 8) PS said I didn't have infections it was from being around ppl who smoke. Well I guess he hadn't read the culture reports because they found I had/have 2 different types of infection....sigh. well I'm on enough antibiotics to cure a horse lol

  • mcbaker
    mcbaker Member Posts: 1,847

    No, the problem with smoking is that it reduces the blood flow. With less blood flow around vulnerable areas of the body, infection is more likely to occur. So the fact that it was two different bugs substantiates his theory.

    Glad to see you back, and prepared for radiation.

  • kber
    kber Member Posts: 243

    Nanette -thanks for the update and so glad you are feeling better!  

  • AngieInAmsterdam
    AngieInAmsterdam Member Posts: 120

    Nanette, glad to hear surgery went well. :-)

    Flower, good to hear from you. I’ll also begin hormonal suppression shortly after chemotherapy. The next phase of this journey. I’m not sure I’m ready to speed up the aging process.

    Kber, hope recovery is going nicely since finishing Taxol.

    Mary and Becky, I too have had this strange wave of emotions. I’ve been so focused on staying strong with handling chemo and pneumonitis that I just wouldn’t allow myself to feel otherwise. Turned 49 this past Monday. Usually, I’m really low key about birthdays, but his year wanted to celebrate it with a few friends. By the end of the evening, as I was thanking them, I began to tear up even though I wasn’t feeling sad or emotional. This whole experience is such a roller coaster ride! I never know what I’m feeling.

    Wishing everyone a great weekend. Becky, I know you’ll have a wonderful time with you daughter and boyfriend coming home for a visit.


    image

    xx

  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    Angie thanks for sharing the group photo... brought a smile top my face too!!

    I'm waiting to see my VA doctor for my yearly check. They're so slow here lol But I'm wanting to talk to jet about being a very and getting some smokable pain relief. Even if only for bed time... having horrible sleeping issues since my revision surgery.

    Hope you all are well. Kber hang in there normalcy is right around the corner!!

  • AngieInAmsterdam
    AngieInAmsterdam Member Posts: 120

    Nanette, I’m also considering something to take the edge off steroids. Prednisone is really having an effect on me. There are like 80 SE’s associated with this med. And of course, I have like 15 of the SE’s, of which none are fun to deal with. The worst being daily hand cramping and nightly leg cramps, muscle and bone pain, added to insomnia. And then there’s hot flashes all day and night. The list goes on and on.

    Been on it for 5 weeks now and I’ve gained weight and now have moon face. Just can’t stop eating! My appetite is out of control. Cravings for all bad stuff, like fast food, pasta, fries, etc.

    Lungs are still somewhat inflamed/ sensitive, thus, smokable not likely. Wished I could find edibles over here. The “coffee shops” here where it’s legal, mostly is just smokable products. I’ll just have to find canna butter and make some baked goods myself.

    Not sure Cannabis will cure some of SE’s, but if it can’t hurt, why not?



  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    Angie I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better!! I had a moon face too but didn't realize how bad it was until recently with losing 14 pounds. Sorry you're having bad food cravings but sometimes there are things missing in our diets... maybe your body is craving grease lol

    As for side effects of the meds the GOOD news is once your done with treatment things will start to go away. For me the insomnia is much better as it is now something that's not a daily thing but a sometimes thing. The aches and pains for the most part are also better there are some that like to remind me of what I've been through....for me right now is the lymphedema post surgery. It's a constant battle and seems the revision surgery only made it worse

    Like you I SO WANT TO FEEL NORMAL and feel COMFORTABLE in my body again! It really stinks what cancer treatments are doing to us!!

    I hope my darling is that you bounce back soon... there's a Golf club with your name on it and several balls labeled cancer that you really need to knock the crap out of!!

  • AngieInAmsterdam
    AngieInAmsterdam Member Posts: 120

    Nanette, I’m nearing the finish line with chemo and it’s nice to hear that the SE’s will finally start fading away in a few weeks. Be it not as quickly as I would like. But, having some respite from chemotherapy is a welcome change.

    Finding our new normal is the next step. And I’m sure that will come with its own challenges. But for now, just looking forward to feeling a little healthier with each day.

    Thank you for reminding me about labeling golf balls. Been thinking of printing some with ”f*ck cancer” and smashing them as hard as I can! Looking forward to doing that!

    Dealing with lymphedema is no fun. I see a lymphedema therapist about once -twice a month to work out scar tissue and the area around my lymph nodes. Often it helps. Wishing you a speedy recovery from revision surgery.

    xx


  • kber
    kber Member Posts: 243

    For what it's worth, I'm about 10 days out from my last chemo session.  The first 6 days were, if anything, worse than what I'd experienced.  Which is logical if I think about it.  I really only started noticing a difference on Saturday, which was my first Saturday in 5 months where I had not done chemo the day before.  I'm still tired, but I can already feel a positive difference in my energy levels and my ability to concentrate.

    Mouth still tastes really weird and I'm still dealing with some nausea.  The last three weeks of chemo were really rough there.  However (and apologies for over sharing) I've had normal poops for the first time in months, which has me unreasonably optimistic about returning to normalcy some day.  So there's that!

  • AngieInAmsterdam
    AngieInAmsterdam Member Posts: 120

    kber,

    Thank you for sharing. Just seeing the word poop made me giggle for a moment. And we can all use a giggle now and then.

    I also concur about being more tired since last treatment. Haven’t had the bounce back like the previous 3 rounds. Still feels like I’m in a haze from chemo. And I’m back in the chair tomorrow for round #11. Taxol seems to have caught up with me. Good news is I’m almost done.

    Here’s to looking froward to normal poop

  • nanette7fl
    nanette7fl Member Posts: 412

    kber yayyyyy for normalcy!! Each week you find something better about your body with the SE's fading away and Yes normal BMW's are a great sign you're healing.

    Angie when you get around to whacking those balls do some for me please!!!

    I have a referral in for a local rehab for therapy but right now until my visiting nurse is released I can't go and I'm trying to deal with the swelling via videos from well known cancer institutes. I see PS for 1 week post surgical check up on Wednesday and hopefully the drains will come out!! And maybe start therapy as my left arm hurts and is limited in range of movement.

    On brighter side DH let me out to do and supervise some of my long neglected spring yard work . Felt so nice to at least try to some trimming and applying weed killer... .but now I'm dealing with the fact that it was hot out and now both legs and left arm are swollen 😥 so even 2 hrs of light yard work got me. Well maybe its God's way of telling me I NEED TO PUT ME 1ST....sigh...hard lesson