In Memorium: Lita57
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My condolences to you, your family and friends. Your mother was a special women. May her memory be a blessing to all of you.
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Thank you, Mica, for letting us know. I was one of the people who sent a private nessage checking on your Mom. She was such a special person. Brutally honest, yet never unkind or cruel. She saved her anger for this godawful disease. And she was angry. Righteous anger at having to leave you and your Dad. Anger at being diagnosed so late, stage IV de novo. Anger at the disease that ravaged her body, but never damaged her soul.
She was one of a kind. She will be missed terribly.
Trish
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Holding you all in the light. So many times your mom made us laugh, lifted spirits, and left us feeling light. What a gift. ❤️❤️
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Boy did Lita love you and your dad, Mica. Your photo story of her is beautiful and I do hope you come back and share when you’ve added more to it. You are already missed Lita
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Mica and family,
My heart breaks for you for the grief you must be feeling. May your memories of the sassy, straight-forward, & loving Lita carry you through. So many of us read each word she wrote and followed Lita's journey from afar. We, too, are deeply impacted by her passing. She put into words what I only wished I had the courage to say. I honestly can say Lita reached countless BC sisters, and for that I am truly thankful. I also am thankful that she is no longer in pain. My deepest condolences.
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Mica, thank you for the link to your photography and words that give us a small glimpse of what you all went through. Your mom definitely kept her faith and sense of humor. Though I am glad she is no longer suffering, I am deeply sorry for your family's loss as well as her dog, and friends both here and of course in real life.
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I remember Lita when
she told us to go out and not forget to buy ourselves flowers
she purchased her urn more then two years ago, and did her papers wanting to be organised
she went to the opera just days after being told she had brain mets - stunning lipstick on - but then all her photos had this incredible smile and stunning eyes that embraced yet not smothered you
she finished her book and started needlework with butterflies
she cooked batches of incredible food - one foccacia picture still sticks and everytime I sip red wine I can see myself reaching over and grabbing a slice
she showed us the most beautiful trees on her US roadtrips
she lit a candle and wrote her powerful prayer before her WBR
my list is never ending as was Lita's courage, love for her family and thirst for life - I will always remember Lita.
Mica - I am so sorry for your loss. Beautiful photos - thank you for posting the link.
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mica. I can easily relate to your relief and pain for your mother’s passing. I was with my mother as she went through her own journey with MBC mets to brain. It was much shorter, only one year and three months, but that was back in 2003. Still miss her every day. Lita was a fierce warrior for sure. What a great role model for all of us still on this earth
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hi Mica,
thank you for posting this memorial for Lita and sharing your photo journey project with us. What beautiful, honest, raw and REAL photos. Let’s not cover up this disease! It can be ugly and difficult to look at, but 1 out of 8 women get diagnosed with BC! That’s a LOT!!! The media celebrates cancer “survivors” as heroes yet doesn’t show the truth behind the scenes of what people and their families go through. Thank you for sharing, I will be following you too.
I loved Lita and her posts always made me laugh. I am a huge fan of TMI and she would give it to us - she didn’t fluff the details. I always hoped that she would respond to me, if I posted, and when she did, I felt very happy! I remember seeing her post for the first time, and it was so fantastically raw and honest that I wrote back, “Lita I don’t know you but I love you already!”
My deepest condolences to you and your family 💛
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Mica, I am so very sorry you no longer have your mom. She was such an honest person, and I so admired her courage and the way she faced this awful disease. You have made a wonderful tribute to your mom with your words and pictures; she was lucky to have you to share with. I will share it with my daughter. Again I am sorry for you and your family.
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Mica, thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt post letting us know of your mom’s passing and how we on this forum were a support to her. I’m so sorry she is gone and I’m so sorry for your loss. As much as we helped her, she also helped us; we are a community here. It makes me feel better knowing she had such a lovely daughter in you who loved and cared for her and was there for her through it all. That is very meaningful, to know she was so loved. My heart is with you at this time, many hugs.
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Mica so sorry for your loss. Though I did not know your mother all the msgs just posted tells me she was a fighter and was admired and loved. God bless your family and may peace be yours.0
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Mica - I am sorry for your family's loss, but share your peace in knowing she is now with the Lord. She shared so much encouragement with others here and definitely will be missed. Your photography and writing is absolutely beautiful and authentic for all of us. Thank you for sharing with us. May your family be comforted by knowing how many people your mom helped during her life. Memorializing her posts as you are will ensure that she will continue to help many in the future.
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Mica, my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope that you can draw strength in knowing what a positive influence she was on the forums. There is just no good time to say good-bye. Thank you for sharing your journal. You are her legacy and wear it well.
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Dear Mica,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mother's voice was strong and clear and will be sorely missed on these boards. I appreciated her refreshing and honest posts about her real experiences with the various phases of the disease.
Your brilliant photography about your mother's dying is the most obvious testament of the amazing woman she was. Your honesty matches hers in beautiful and refreshing ways, in the midst of so much disassociation with the reality of this horrible disease.
May we all find consolation in the memories of your dear mother.
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Mica, may memories of her be a blessing to you and the rest of the family. I've been a member here since 2015 and was in awe of your mother, Her practicality, her humor, and her desire to get everything organized before the inevitable came always enlightened me. Thank you for sharing her with us. Peace and comfort to you.
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I am not stage 4, I hope it's ok to post this. I didn't know Lita but I read a lot of her posts. She always gave me hope, I would read her musings and figure, if she could make it through what she was going through, I could make it through my problems. Sorry for your loss Mica.
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I am not stage 4, I hope it's ok to post this. I didn't know Lita but I read a lot of her posts. She always gave me hope, I would read her musings and figure, if she could make it through what she was going through, I could make it through my problems. Sorry for your loss Mica.
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Her screen name was familiar to me as well. Sweet Mica--sending gentle hugs your way.
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Some wonderful tributes here Mica.
I hope you don't mind my posting, Lita reached out to me when I needed it as I know she is continuing to do in Heaven to those in need. She was a beautiful, honest soul and said it as she saw it. Your photos are a fitting tribute to both her and her adored family.
God bless you all. She will never be forgotten.
GP
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I haven't been to this site for a bit, but heard the song Mornin' by Al Jarreau playing this morning and immediately thought about our dear Lita. She had mentioned in a post a while ago how she loved the song and may use it at her funeral. My heart sank when I heard it, and I came here to search her name to see a post from her, but I saw this thread. She was an inspiration and I would often come just to read only her threads. She was so honest and raw and had a great sense of humor. We will miss her dearly! My condolences to you and your family. The tribute you made is touching.
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Dearest Mica, thank you for starting this memorial thread on behalf of your mom, Lita57.
Lita seemed like a huge planner and I wasn't surprised that she found a way to let us know when she left her earthly life..through you. The two of you must have been very close. It is difficult when our very sick BCO friends stop posting and well...we just never knew what happened. We all hope for a peaceful end when it is our time.
Lita started to post on the liver mets thread in 2017. That is when I recognized a very strong, spirited woman who made sure all the details of her end of life would be handled while she was feeling well. Lita also embraced us with her wit, her anger regarding cancer, her advice on many, many topics from Italian recipes and accompanying photos, holiday decorating, the discussions of the bird nest in her wreath, her live Christmas tree, her bull dog stories, the trips that you helped her take, her recipe for the perfect CBD/THC combo for pain and sleep relief. And oh my gosh, the Negan shitting pants and how to order them. That is classic.
But what I will remember about the two of you (mother and daughter) is that your photographs and poetry showed us her natural beauty juxtaposed with nature. Her rawness, her skin, her nakedness, her eyes, her soul. She was more that her BCO postings, more than the cooking and recipes, the trip photographs. She was more.
We share in your grief. Please know she was important to us in this metastatic breast cancer community..liver, lung, brain, she helped all of us.
Love and healing to you and your dad.
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Mica, Lita was just so much FUN, I greatly admired her spunk, honest and spirit. I am so sorry gor the loss of your mom.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Litas posts were such a great source of comfort and information for me when I was first diagnosed with brain mets. My condolences to you and your family.
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Dear Mica,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.
Lita was an indomitable spirit. She made the most of each day, each meal, each trip, and inspired us to do the same. She was real, and she was practical. I still laugh at her frequent references to "shittin' pants." Who else could talk about something so messy, so embarrassing, and yet make us laugh while doing it?
Her practical posts helped me help my mother, who we just lost February 2018. Yes, I still feel like we just lost my mother.
I remember when Lita had WBR, two years ago now. She thought it might buy her another couple of months, but seems to have gotten her almost two years. However, the awful side effects of all the treatments, and of course the stupid cancer breaking her body down, did catch up with her, as well as the pain. I don't know many people who were still cooking such wonderful meals while in such horrendous pain.
I am relieved to her that her suffering is over.
Lita planned for everything: documents, urn, the beautiful Christmas tree. On the boards, we had discussed how to die, and how to control the pain. I had discussed palliative sedation with Lita, which one of my friends used in hospice when the pain was too much. Lita was prepared not to eat and drink if needed.
Your photos are a loving and honest tribute. Your comments are honest and loving.
My deepest condolences,
Mominator / Madelyn
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To Mica and Lita's family and friends - As stated above, Lita was a special person, giving strength, encouragement, and wisdom to all who followed her. When she talked about her latest cooking adventure, it made me drool, then get off my butt and try a recipe too! I wish you all peace and comfort in the upcoming days, knowing Lita has transitioned and will now be watching over.
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Mica, I am not a Stage IV, but I loved your Mom’s posts. She was so tough and such fun. What a hoot. I so admired that she never pulled any punches and I am so sorry for your loss.
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Dear Mica,
I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. She was a strong warrior and will be missed. God bless you and your family during this difficult time.
Most sincerely,
Nancy
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Mica, my deepest sympathies on your loss. Thank you for the gift of your photo journal to us. It is so hard to lose a parent. A friend sent me this when my dad died a few years ago. I found it comforting at the time. Prayers for you and your family during this time.
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!""Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout;
"Here she comes!"---Henry Van Dyke
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Mica,
Thank you for the lovely, heartfelt posting for your dear mother, Lita57, and sharing your photo project with us; very powerful. As others have said, your mom was such a special person on these threads. I always enjoyed her stories, humor and the recipes she shared. She constantly amazed me at the energy she stlll had to do all the things she did. One thing came through clearly in her posts, she loved and valued her family and her dear Sophia. I'm glad to know Lita's free from pain and now at peace. May cherished memories comfort you and your dad at this difficult time. I am so very sorry for your loss and ours.
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