Starting Radiation August 2021 - Anyone else?
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Oh, I am so enjoying our fuzzies conversation. Jen, you must have laughed out loud when you pulled those out of the gift box. Ivy, you made me feel so much better that I"m not the only one!
Welcome, emotionalpond and mslo100. Mslo, please don't be scared. I was too but it went fine. I'm sending you a virtual [HUG]. You will be alright. The planning session is to protect us and the staff are sweet and kind; they will reassure you.
All our lives we've been taught to avoid damaging radiation exposure, so I think our brains have a hard time accepting that we're actually going to do this on purpose. Yes, the healthy cells will repair themselves while cancer cells won't, but I had a really hard time committing to this out of principle
At least it's only a small area, and I plan to detoxify from radiation once it's complete.Just try to get as comfortable as possible, as grandmaadam was explaining (you probably missed my samba pose mishap from earlier in the thread). The radiation is very precise and will only target the area needed. You may get to lie on your stomach as for a massage at a day spa. I had node involvement, so I am on my back. My arms always fall asleep. Every day it's faster, because both you and your team know the exact position you need to be in. If you are not comfortable with something, let them know. I was unable to breathe under my mask during a hot flash (thanks to early hormonal Rx on tamoxifen) so now they remove it during my session while they are out of the room.
Speaking of mapping, emotionalpond, how did yours go today? Did you choose tattoos or stickers? Will you be on your stomach or on your back?
Today was #6 of 33 for me. I scored more samples of calendula cream and had my weekly visit with my RO. He approved the Radiaplex I bought (I read studies on it) and said just be sure to always use calendula. I kind of like it the best so far anyway. I had read that our skin could get damaged by having lotion applied to it within 3 hours of radiation, and he said that was an old wives tale and had been debunked. Radiaplex lotion does state that it does not need to be removed for radiation. Like our deodorant and underarm shaving discussion, maybe this is one to ask each individual RO.
Mommamonaster, thanks for letting us know about the pillow molds. That's great advice!
Jen, I hope you are able to get in some good nutrients now that your taste is coming back. Can you have salmon and avocado yet? With both chemo and radiation, we take in toxins and have a lot of metabolic waste that shouldn't stay in our bodies. There are several ways to detoxify, reduce brain fog, including IV nutrients to rebuild our immune systems post-radiation. I am learning that it's a crucial step to healing. No one needs it like us recovering from toxic cancer treatments. I'll post more on this tomorrow in the Metabolic approach to cancer forum.
I am thinking of you all tonight and hope you get some good, restful sleep! Anyone have a favorite nighttime white noise soundtrack? Rainfall? Fountain? Traffic sounds? Mine lately is "crickets at the ocean" on Youtube.
Sleep well-
Love and blessings,
Esther
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Oops, I meant to mention lymphedema. I was a bit sour on the idea of having one more weekly appointment but staying ahead of lymphedema is pretty important so I committed to once weekly PT sessions. I am trying to faithfully do the exercises at home but sometimes I'm so tired or I forget. Jen, remember the wall one you were trying to picture? You basically put your arm against the corner of a doorway and walk a few steps forward which stretches it. If we do lose range of motion during radiation, we can get much of it back with a good lymphedema PT working alongside us.
Love,
Esther
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Grandmaadams: you expressed, in words, so perfectly why I've been scared. I had to read it over and over again to believe it. How amazing. You are so right about all of that. Thank you for that. It means so much to me - I feel so understood. And you helped me articulate something I've struggled to articulate. Thank you so, so, soooo much.
And Esther01 you are so right. We've been taught to avoid damaging radiation exposure our whole lives and you're SOOO right that our brains struggle to see this radiation thing in a good light. Thank you for that. So true. SO true. And I'm so excited for you that you've done 6 days! Congrats! And I LOVE salmon AND avocado! I just had a really nice veggie roll for lunch - packed filled with avocado and other yummy veggies. I'd love to learn more about the detox thing when you have time. I do try to eat (mostly) healthfully. As I see it, I've had poison in my system for months now - literally - and so anything I can do to give my body a "leg up" - I'll do. It's a lot to recover from - and heading into radiation too - and more surgeries. I want my body to be treated as kindly as I can manage prior to all of that - and throughout. I admit, though, when I'm stressed (which I am a lot this week! LOL), I tend to munch on salty-crunchy treats (I prefer those to sweets). I'm trying to keep the carb intake low these days, however, because I always feel healthier and better when I do that.
Anyway, love to all.
Jen
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Oh! And Esther01 - I can visualize that arm/corner thing well with this particular description. I'll do it!
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Also, Esther01: Crickets at the ocean??? OMG I laughed reading that. What must that sound like?!?!? I love listening to bird songs. When I was at my sickest - in bed- from chemo, I would tell our Alexa to play bird songs and my family members would come in and look around - wondering where the birds were LOL! At night, we have used white noise (much less lovely) for many years. When we lived in Germany, we lived in a townhouse that shared a wall with a bakery. They made noise and started baking at 3am every day, so we all used white noise machines to sleep through that. The smells were fabulous - although living next door to a bakery wasn't exactly great for my health LOL. Then when we relocated back to the States, we found that we were near enough to a train track to hear the train whistles/horns all night long. OMG! Seriously!? So now our house still sounds like an airplane in mid-flight all night long with the white noise. AND then covid came, and my husband is a psychologist and he came home and has worked from home for over a year...doing video telehealth. And in order for him to do that with privacy and peace and quiet, we use...you guessed it...white noise! LOL. So now, day AND night, our house sounds like an airplane! So - yeah. I prefer bird song.
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MaineJen - too funny, I have my "airport fan" going right now. I love it! Can't sleep without it, not even when it's cold out.
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grandmadaams - Hola!! I lost it when I met with my RO. It wasn't my first time meeting him. He was so empathetic and caring. I'm terrified of the idea of radiation, but he'll be in charge of my radiation treatment.
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OMG Ivy09 that's awesome! LOL! I, too, use a fan at night -even when it's cold out! Although my fan is small compared to that one! LOL. You crack me up! xo
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Hello all! I've just found your thread and have read through all your posts. While I'm sorry we all have to meet this way, it's wonderful to find a group of people experiencing the same thing at the same time. I had a lumpectomy on June 28th and then I had a re-excision on July 9th when the margins weren't clean. I am finally meeting with my RO next week to learn when I start radiation. I'm feeling anxious, nervous but at the same time excited to get this next stage of treatment started and then put behind me. How soon after this initial appointment with the RO do you start treatment?
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Welcome Jasmine,
I'm glad we can be there for each other. I'm sorry about the second surgery but glad you have it past you and are ready for radiation. It took almost two weeks from the time I met with my RO to starting the sessions. I'm not sure if that's normal or not. It gets much easier once you get started. Today I finished week 1 of 7. No skin issues yet. I'm getting used to the position I need to be in, and I'm glad to have the weekend off.
The sweet ladies in the July group pointed out that skin issues continue for two weeks past the last day of radiation. Most of us are working during our treatments, so I wanted to mention that in case you need any extra accommodation from work. We may need two additional weeks past our final radiation day for full healing. I'm praying we all make it through very well.
Ivy, I'm glad you made it past your meeting with the RO. I'm sorry it was a tough time. I find that I get emotional at unexpected times. We are shouldering a lot right now and it's a needed release valve. I love your fan photo. I need your fan! They started me on tamoxifen at diagnosis, even before surgery, so I have been the hot flash lady since December. I had one literally during rads.
Tomorrow I'm going to post about a supplement we should probably already be taking anyway that our oncologists will allow that helps as we go through radiation. I want to make sure I have the research in front of me before I post on it.
Jen, bird songs are one of my favorites. I have searched "Daytime ambience birds" on Youtube and find such amazing beautiful moving scenes. I cracked up at the railroad sounds. I have to listen to airplane sounds to see what you mean. Is airplane different from airport? I guess that would be a lot of people talking and the sound of luggage being lugged.
Well, I'm going to try to get to bed early for a change. That's the one thing my IMD insists on and I have such a hard time with. Maybe the melatonin will help,... and the oceany crickets!
Sleep well sisters
Love and blessings-
Esther
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So I didn't get my mapping because I need another few days if healing..... I go back in Tuesday Aug 17th.... Looks like I will start radiation on Aug 23rd. I will have 16 all together and he will radiate above my armpit.
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Jasmine2707 - welcome. I'm sorry you had to do the re-excision thing (I had to also - scary and truly unpleasant to say the least, right?). It sucks! I'm hoping you're on the mend from that.Sounds like you and I are on a similar schedule. I have mapping this coming Thursday and find out the schedule then, maybe?
Esther01: Congrats on finishing week 1! Hooray!!!! SO HAPPY for you!!! and I didn't know about the 2-weeks after thing, so thanks for that info. Also, "oceany crickets!" LOL. You kill me with that! LOLOLOL! As for "airplane sounds" - it's the jet engine sound when you're in the plane. OMG I was laughing so hard when you said "people talking and luggage being lugged." OMG you are HILARIOUS!!!! LOL! xo
Sadly, I am now reporting that I had a very unwelcome visitor in the middle of last night. I, too, deal with serious hot flashes (OMG Esther01 you had one during radiation!?!?!?! OMG!) but I take meds to keep those in check and thankfully, they help a lot. Nope Last night it wasn't a hot flash - although those suck so much - it was -yup, my first encounter with...lymphedema.
SO MAD. My hand swelled up so badly that I had to frantically run into the bathroom and remove my wedding/engagement rings - which took quite a while to do it hurt so much getting them off. Then I was just freaking out. My arm is soooo sore. So for now, it's swelling under my arm pit and my hand is not a balloon anymore but it's just mildly swollen this morning. I was up a lot of the night wondering what was up. When I called the on call doc this morning to describe it she said "lymphedema." I was like "but my arm isn't swollen like I saw on google so it cannot be that!" LOL. She's like "don't look at google!" LOL. And apparently, not ALL cases of this look like a nightmare from hell like on google. LOL. So this week - on top of going to the mapping, etc. - I now have to see a "lymphedema occupational therapist" who will help me with "self-decongestive techniques" (????) and will fit my arm with an elastic compression sleeve, etc. S...T!!!!! I am SO PISSED and frustrated. My arm is aching. They told me the chances of this happening were small even though I had nodes out with my first surgery. UGH. insult to injury. Anyway, thanks for listening to my complaints. I know I'll manage through this too. But still, today I'm just bumming. Really!? Like we're not going through enough already, people? I asked if I can still have radiation on that arm/region and the doc said "yup." Really!??! Grrrrrr.
Love to all.
Jen
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Hi,
I started radiation therapy post lumpectomy 1 week ago. I am already getting burning pain in my nipple area. Wearing a bra or having any clothing touching that area is painful. My radiologist said take some Advil but it's not helping. Just wearing a seat belt across my chest to drive around is getting uncomfortable and I'm having a hard time focusing at work. Anyone experience this or have any advice on how to manage this type of pain? Sorry to start out complaining but I feel if I could get some relief life would be so much easier right now
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Thank you everyone for being so welcoming. Yes MaineJane, having to have the second surgery was such a big shock and then waiting for those second results was very stressful. My daughter on the west coast was just about to give birth around that time, and I planned to go out there to help, so I was pleased they could schedule me so quickly for the second surgery. I'm happy to say our grandson is healthy and that I was able to fly out there to help before the next round of appointments. Phew!
Thanks for all the suggestions on lotions. I really didn't even realize that is something I would need until I had my first oncologist appointment last week and he mentioned it. Speaking of oncologists has everyone had the same order of appointments that I've had; diagnosis at imaging center and meeting with nurse navigator (who has been wonderful), surgery appointment and surgery, then oncologist and finally RO. I felt like my oncologist appointment this week wasn't all that informative since my surgeon was excellent at explaining everything to me. It also didn't help that he kept me waiting for over an hour and then never apologized!
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Hi Linda,
I'm so sorry for the pain! When recovering from a lumpectomy and stitches are near the nipple area (mine are, too) that can happen. How much time elapsed from your surgery and beginning radiation? Did they confirm that your stitches were healed enough before beginning? I would also let your main MO know about your symptoms and that it's unacceptably painful. I read about other rads patients using soft seatbelt covers that take the pressure off of your chest while driving. I haven't bought one yet but will if I have to. Also, what kind of creams are they giving you? Hugs to you, rads alone are already enough to bear without the added pain.
Jen, that's awful about your nighttime visitor, Lymphedema. I'm at risk for that, too. Ask them to get you in to the best lymphedema PT ASAP for the compression sleeve who must measure your arm at baseline. My PT puts tiny little pen marks all the way up my arm when she measures it and I come home with railroad tracks down my arms. I have to scrub in the shower to get it off. There are exercises you can do right away. I'll take pictures and upload. I pray it subsides and is reversed. My surgeon gave me a brochure for a soft, cuff-like device that can reverse lymphedema if caught early (and yours definitely was). With prompt PT massage and drainage care, you might not even need it. I just wanted you to know about it as an option just in case.
I'm also going to ask my beloved IMD who has helped me so much if chelation therapy can help reduce lymphedema since I know it improves microcirculation in the whole body. She has a weekly Q&A on Mondays so I will present this question to her and see what she says. I am SO sorry! I had 11 nodes out so I am watchful, too. You'll definitely want a weekly lymphedema PT session throughout radiation for massage and vigilance by the PT. I know... one more weekly appt, right? Mondays are worst for me because I go from IV C therapy to rads to PT. But this too shall pass!
I forgot to add, "Periodic boarding announcements and announcements about unattended luggage" to the airport white noise sounddtrack. That would be so funny to hear while at home. I don't think your husband could get his work done with that kind of white noise popping up in the background. Hahaha! Yes, I am enjoying my beachy crickets. Somehow it switched to turbulent, roaring ocean waves in the middle of the night and scared me.
More later,
Hugs, each,
Esther
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Hi guys. Been reading all your updates! I started radiation left breast on Friday and was surprised I had a hard time holding my breath. Thought I'd pass out but was scared to interrupt the treatment. They said it would be fine because the beam (?) would stop but I sure didn't like it. Going to try and practice and build my endurance!
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Hi Inanne,
Me, too! It gets easier but I did notice during the mapping, they had me doing a very deep breath hold, but on the actual treatments, it isn't as deep a hold. I'd rather do the deeper breath hold like you are, because that lifts the heart even further away from the area being radiated. Do they have a camera on your stomach? I think there is a range it needs to get into.
Blessings,
Esther
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Esther01 Yes they did have something on my stomach and said if the breath hold (or lack thereof) caused it to be out of range, it would stop. I need to ask them next time how long I'm holding my breath (seems longer than the simulation or maybe my heart is besting faster because this is the real thing) AND ask them if it just resumes for the remaining time and therefore no danger with an interruption. I assume that's the case!
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Hi, LindaD3: Glad you found us and that you have joined our group. I'm so sad to hear about the burning pain you're dealing with. That's awful! I hope you'll get some real help with that from your radiologist or from someone soon. That sounds not right to me somehow. You shouldn't have to endure such pain so early in the process, as far as I can tell? And I have a special seatbelt pad that I attached to my seatbelt for when I had surgeries. It would have been impossible for me to even wear one across my chest on the way home from surgery each time without it.
Here is one: https://renovamedicalwear.com/collections/post-sur... gclid=CjwKCAjw092IBhAwEiwAxR1lRvY6XryY6lLaj1O9q9nm6wEe-dYU2bAPQvOKmqzpDWmTu0O367JHdBoCi4gQAvD_BwE
Here is another: https://www.pinkpepperco.com/products/mastectomy-c...
And please don't apologize for complaining. No apologies necessary here! You are suffering and that sucks and you have a right to not suffer and if we can help you find relief, that's another reason we're all here. Also: vent away here. We're here for listening to vents as well!
Jasmine2717: So glad you were able to get in for your 2nd surgery so quickly and then you were able to fly out to be with your new grandson (congratulations!). I'm impressed. I was so knocked out by both surgeries - I could never have gone anywhere after those - for quite a while. Wow!
Inanne - Welcome. So grateful you're talking about this. Im' going to be doing my left breast too, so even hearing this is helpful!
Esther01: How do you know so much about so much! LOL I'm amazed at your in depth knowledge about so many aspects of this process. I had NO idea about lymphedema, and maybe that's because I deliberately stuck my head in the sand and hoped it wouldn't be a thing I'd have to deal with? Apparently, avoidance doesn't really do the trick, does it. Not the best strategy! I didn't know about "baseline" etc. I am 100% sure I'll be seeing someone this week about it - and now that you've said it, it makes sense that they'll likely want me to see someone weekly as I go through radiation. Shit. Well, yeah. Just another thing! Omg I feel like sometimes all I do these days is go to doctors, get procedures, return home, try to recover and start over. Sheesh! But this too shall pass....are you sure??LOL. Some days I wonder about that!
.....and...periodic boarding announcements! OMG!!!! LMAO!Xo
Jen
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Yep I'm part of the August club too! Hello to all of you. I'm 3 treatments in with 17 to go. Sending all you beautiful ladies healing vibes!! ❤️
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Jen, I love those pillows. Ok, that makes me want a nap! I just research a lot and found an incredible doctor who makes herself available. I keep meeting her other cancer patients every other day at the IV suite so I've heard a lot of recovery stories. I was mentioning in another forum today how I pretty much launched myself at Dr. E because I knew she was one of the best doctors for cancer recovery and I was shocked that she was on my health plan. She answers all medical questions every Monday at 5:30 Pacific for an hour on Youtube (just use the Chat feature) so I've watched over a year of her videos while doing dishes. I must do a lot of dishes because it didn't take very long
Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU__Hi0cqEeMVCiIY... Feel free to ask her any question, esp. about cancer and recovery. She will answer it for you.
And yes, I'm sending hugs tonight. This WILL pass. Tomorrow morning I'll post the shoulder exercises I should have done today. Oops!
Welcome Tangled, and congrats on getting your first 3 treatments behind you! I'm glad you found us. We'll be cheering you on.
Inanne, I noticed that the breath hold on the actual radiation is way longer than on the test runs, and am acutely aware of my heart beating fast. Sounds like you're noticing it, too. I've also started counting how many zaps they do. I could swear they only did 3 on Thursday but 5 on Friday. I'm sorry it's uncomfortable and I hope it gets easier as you continue.
OK, attached is my wall calendar. What did you all choose? Are you using one? I chose Pink X's instead of black. It's funny that this month's phrase mentions God as my "shield" because I need a shield from that harmful radiation. I literally ask Him to supernaturally protect me each time I'm in there holding my breath. It's hard to do two things at once so I'm always afraid I'll let go of my breath. Oh, and I gave myself credit for last Wednesday because that was the second mapping session and I figure we should get credit for any radiation room session that's 45 minutes long where our hands fall asleep with our arms over our heads.
Night, sweet friends-
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Hi there! Had first of 28 radiation sessions on 8/10/21. No issues so far but very early in process. Good luck to all of us
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Hello Tangled and Calinana4! Welcome to our group. Makes me sad that so many of us are going through all of this yukki stuff. Glad, though, that we can be here for one another along the way. I'm glad you both found us.
Esther! OMG you have watched a YEAR's worth of videos!??!?! No wonder you know so much stuff! AMAZING! That's also really neat that there's a doc who answers questions live for an hour each week. That's really something! I'll check out the link. WOW!
I think I should call you Dr. E! xo
And I love your pink X's. I am not keeping a calendar to X out just yet. Although I haven't officially started, so we'll see. I get my schedule this coming Thursday when I get mapped. Maybe I'll feel inspired to get one. I have used a digital calendar to organize myself for a long time. Much more boring...I love your pretty calendar and inspirational sayings.
Love to all.
Jen
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I’ve been absent for a few days - sorry!! Oh and I changed my user name
So, on top of everything else, my ex decided to come back into my life and start being nice. (He wasn’t mean previously, we just don’t speak). He sent treats and gifts with the kids when they’d come visit and he was checking in on me quite a bit. I figured it’s just because of my diagnosis that he was being nice, but it felt nice to be friends again. So many of my friends just fell off the radar after my diagnosis, so it was nice to feel like I had a friend that cared. Yeah - Apparently not. Turns out he and his girlfriend didn’t work out so he wondered if maybe he could rekindle something with me. I’m engaged and happy oh and currently going through the fight of my life…Really?! When I let him know that wasn’t going to happen he stopped talking to me again. It’s for the best but it was a cruel emotional trick to play on me! Ugh!
In better news, Friday was my 8th day of treatment, skin is just a little pink. My nipple feels a little sore in a “Raw” way, so I’m making sure to use extra lotion. I’m also having some nerve pain at times near incision- RO said this was normal as the radiation can stimulate nerves that were cut during surgery- Nothing Motrin won’t take care of. Tomorrow I have to go in at 6am for treatment and then they will re-map me for my boost treatments which start at #16.
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Hi Michele,
Still remember that great photo you uploaded! Mine look a little like that. They're from MyPillow and I love them. Your foot disappears into soft, velvety clouds. They sure come off fast though when I have hot flashes.. I'm sorry about the heartstring tugs from your ex. What timing! Yes, we're in the fight of our lives and are laser focused on our treatment and recovery, which is a good thing. Hugs to you. Hey, 6 am! Did you choose to go in that early so you can go in on your way to work? I didn't know they do another mapping for the boosts. Yucko.. just when I thought I had that behind me. Let us know how it goes. Maybe the boost mapping isn't as long as the first day mapping.
Hi Calinana, glad you're joining us and that your first treatment went well! I know we will all help each other as we experiment with different lotions and probably how often we are lotioning up (or not).
Jen, I'm glad you'll be seeing the lymphedema specialist this week. I hope you get a really good PT who will work on reversing it. I'm going to upload the exercises that mine gave me. I know yours will give you a printout too. These are for stretching the arm to get it ready for radiation and also for lymphedema prevention. There's one not on here that actually feels good to stretch the arm. You lie on your back with arms folded behind your head, and the PT (or a family member) puts a 1 lb item on the crook of your elbow for 3 minutes. I like the way that one feels because it helps stretch out that tissue right at the armpit. Like we don't already have enough to do, right?
Well, heading off to prepare for the week. I'll upload the exercises and say, good night!
Love and blessings,
Esther
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Happy Monday!
Today they did the re-mapping for my boost, and Esther this may be great news for you!! They switched my position, because for the boost they will be focusing precisely on the scar area. So, this means that I will be laying on my right side, with a pillow and everything! (Scar is along the side of my left breast). She said the boost treatment is only 45 seconds. Can't wait for that!
I also saw the RO today, everything is looking great and she gave me a numbing cream for my nipple since I was feeling a little sore. Feeling much better now.
Hope everyone is doing great this week.
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Happy Monday everyone! I went down the rabbit hole last night on YouTube and found this video about exercises to do before and during radiology. I thought some of you may find it useful. I'm still anxiously awaiting my first meeting with my RO on Friday and hoping my treatments will start soon! I also figured out after going through my many sheets of paper given to me at my diagnosis appointment that my radiology department uses a prone breast board for treatments. Has anyone else had experience with that?
Take care everyone!
So, it won't let me post a link to the video, so the title is "Radiotherapy exercise class for breast cancer patients" and it's on The Christie NHS Foundation Trust.
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Hi, Michele - I'm so sorry your ex pulled such a stunt on you - especially at this time in your life. That is rotten. Truly! And how selfish can he be?! You're right - such a cruel emotional game to play and incredibly insensitive. I'm so glad you're engaged and happy with your current situation, but it still pisses me off that he did that to you!
Also: people disappearing when they hear about the diagnosis. I swear, we learn so, so much about people - what they can handle and what they're willing to do and cope with - and how they cope - when something like this happens. I'm sad to hear you had friends just fall off the radar once you were diagnosed. I'm sure it's happened to all of us. Definitely to me. I've been bewildered by some people and by their complete silence or absence. I mean, I get this is really, really tough stuff. Facing your own mortality head-on - it's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. But really. How hard would it be to say "I have no idea what to say or do but I want you to know I care about you."??? I have a friend who I know loves me - but as soon as I shared my diagnosis with her - she went completely silent. Nothing. No communication whatsoever. Just really sad and odd. And at this stage - while we're enduring all of this misery - this is not the time for us to be taking care of THEM. If they cannot handle being there for us when we are in the struggle of our lives, then really, there's nothing we can do. If I wasn't going through so much, I'd reach out and try to help her navigate the sticky issues and pain better. But it's not about her right now and it cannot be..Anyway, I'm so sorry you've been abandoned by some friends too. It sucks.
Also: I'm glad you got some cream to help the pain. xo
Esther01 thank you for those print outs! I'm going to print them and see what I can start doing. I'm still waiting to get a PT appointment - I have calls out. Hopefully I'll hear soon.
Jasmine2717: I'll check out the video - hopefully I'll find it. Thanks for the tip!
Love to all!
Jen
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Hi Jasmine,
I do my treatments prone (On my stomach), so I can tell you anything you want to know
It's basically like laying down on a massage table, only there is a hole for your breast to hang down through (Sexy, right? haha). They have the semi-circle thing that you rest your face on (Just like a massage table), and two handles above that so you'll reach your arms over your head and hold on to them - Think Superman position. It's really not too uncomfortable, I think in the beginning it just made me a bit anxious because I couldn't see what was going on and there are a lot of sounds when you're in there. But I'm used to it now. I can also almost look graceful as I get on and off the table. Almost. I found the key is to find something funny to say to the techs when I go in so we are chit chatting and not silently focusing on me getting on the table like a harbor seal lol. I hope that helps some Jen - You are such a sweet person. I am so sorry you had friends disappear too. Your words rang so true for me (Are there onions in here?!) People just don't understand what it feels like to suddenly have mortality slap you in the face. Or that breast cancer is so broad and different, and that treatments and worry continue for years. I have had people say to me "Oh, I thought you were over cancer now" like it was the flu. But, I have also met such beautiful souls like you and Esther and everyone here in our little August group and that makes me smile and gives me hope. If any of you ever need an ear or a shoulder, I am here for you. Anytime.
Oh, and the ex is a wiener! That's why I changed my user name from cammy - I realized a google search could find my posts and he doesn't get to know what's going on with me.
xoxo - Michele
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