Starting Radiation August 2021 - Anyone else?
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Jasmine2717, I had not heard of the accuboost system. I looked it up. Sounds like a great option which eliminates the damage to organs. I hope that goes well.
Thanks for the chuckles. You are so right - we have to laugh whenever we can!
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And that’s a wrap! 16/16!! Rang the bell today which felt amazing! Thank you to you all for helping me get through it. Hope you do t mind that I stick around here
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Mich21 - That is awesome!!!! So happy for you.
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Congratulations Mich21!!! I’m glad you got to ring the bell!! Woho
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Congratulations Mich21!!! Super happy for you!!
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Thanks for all of the advise ladies. I am on day 2 of Radiation and am still feeling like dear in the headlights....They did not think I would need RO until the final path tests came back. Now I have 25 sessions with expanders no one will give me a straight answer as to what RO will do to my FOOBS only that I have to wait for a year for final reconstruction. I don't think they know so once again I sit here and wait to see what my body decides to do. I'm a control freak by nature and this makes me insane to have ZERO control of my body and circumstances. I delivered my daughter to college last week and I'm really struggling with loneliness. I do have a hubby and son but, I'm lonely for my girl. My eyes 'leak' all the time. I can't wait for this chapter to end!
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((Hugs)) Michelle. Hey you’re just about 10% done with radiation- So there’s that. I hope everything goes well, the unknown and loss of control definitely sucks
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Mich21!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! Celebrating your achievement big time! WOOOHOOO!!! Loads of hugs and love to you! Also: you're welcome here for sure, as far as I'm concerned. I know we all feel the same way! It's normal to want to move on and away from these experiences, but we're always here for you - I really think we've got an incredible group here. HOOORAYYY!!!!
Michelle1215 - Sending you GIANT hugs. Holding you in my heart. xo
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Michelle1215 - I am truly sorry that you feel this way! {{Hugs}} I met with my PS yesterday and she told me six months to one year after rads for surgery. It all depends on what happens to my skin and "foob" during radiation, only difference between us is that I have an implant, which is not ideal. She will see me three months after rads to determine when/what the next surgery will be (I haven't started rads yet, I go in tomorrow for mapping). It wasn't something I was happy to hear, but I'll have to deal with it. I had my TE's in for nine months and was so happy to get the exchange last month, to then be dx'd four days later! I was blown away!
My RO will keep an eye on the skin and the implant throughout my 25 days of rads. He is very empathetic, genuine and caring. He took the time to answer all my questions as did my PS. Did I mention my RO looks like George Clooney?! LOL. I have, in previous posts. I really don't like the reason why I have to go so see him, but don't mind because at the end of the day I feel that he really does want for me to get better. My entire medical team does. I'm blessed to have them. I thought I'd be nervous about rads, but since finding this group my anxiety has eased. At this point, I just want to get it done and over with.
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saw my surgeon today for a follow up (I had a stitch tear and drainage 6 weeks ago). Everything looked great today and has healed well - she said mine was one of the most difficult surgeries she’s ever done & I have quite a large scar to show for it lol. Anyway she wants me to have a mammogram in February and then follow up with her in March after I have results. My next appointment with her is March 14th. The day before I fly to Hawaii for my March 17th wedding. Praying for good news but now I’m anxious again. Ugh. Never ending !
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Mich21 - that's great that everything healed well!! The scar on my left breast is all the way across my breast, under my arm pit to about a 1/4 inch away from my back.
I get it; it's hard not to be anxious, but you've got this! And we'll be here for you!
Wedding in Hawaii!! That's awesome!!
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Mich21 - I'm so glad things are healing well and that everything looks great to your doc! and a wedding in Hawaii in March! SUPER EXCITING! OMG!!!
On another note, I just need to share my unhappiness - sorry, don't mean to be a downer...
: I had radiation #1 yesterday. I think I told you all that one of my friends said to me "radiation is a walk in the park" compared to chemo (she's never had cancer)...Anyway, yesterday did not feel like a walk in the park, to say the least. I know you all know. Granted, it was one of 3 medical appointments in the same day, so I was stressed. And the ladies there were super nice. So no complaints there (thank God). But yikes. I found the whole experience daunting, upsetting and stressful. Laying inside of this giant machine - doing the breathing things. They put that screen in front of my face to make sure that when I hold my breath, the line on the screen stays in the "green zone." etc. It freaked me out. I did fine, but still. No, nothing "hurts" when they do it. True. Anyway, I know you all know about all of this. I just found it emotionally exhausting - I'm still dealing with chemo side effects big time. My finger nails are sore and falling off, I have no hair, I get tired so easily and cannot walk for more than a little bit of time each day, I cannot take the heat, I don't sleep well at night - it goes on and on. Plus, between appointments yesterday, I had to rush my daughter to and from field hockey practice, and get my kids fed, etc. I woke up this morning and felt horrified that I have to go back again today and then again and again and again. Isn't that stupid? I knew about all of this before yesterday! I have read everything you've all shared and more. I have all of the creams/aloe/bras, etc. I'm ready intellectually. But I'm not psychologically. I don't want to do this! I feel - inside of myself - like a toddler who is on the floor of the food court at the mall screaming my ass off. LOL. Truly. I just want to curl up and hide in my bed and say "NOOOOO MORRRRRE!!!!" Of course, I won't fuss. I'll jump into the car and drive my butt over there and do what has to be done. Today and every time. But today, it just feels like - REALLY!?!?!?! MORE?!?!?!?! Yes, I chose to save my own life and said things like "do whatever you have to do to make sure I live to see my kids grow up." Yes. I said that. And yes, I trust my docs. They're doing literally everything. But ARGHHHH I need a vacation from cancer! And I can't and won't get one. I know - I'm a toddler! It's absurd! But I'm so upset today. My sweet husband is taking me to today's session. But honestly? It feels like "he cannot DO the session for me" so I'm still upset! I love him to pieces and I love being with him but I'm grumpy and angry and frustrated today. We cannot delegate this shit! It's all on us to do and to deal with.
I'll get over it. I just needed to share - here, where I know I cannot be the only one who has felt this way.
Love you all. I'll bounce back. I'm just feeling overdone today.
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MaineJen - it's ok to feel the way you do. Let it out, You are entitled! I wish I could give you a hug, Lord knows I could use one.
It's very sweet of your husband to go with you. I felt very alone for the first time since I was dx'd last year. Not sure what that was about!
I just got back from my mapping session and I'm feeling like you. I thought I was ready for this, but emotionally Im not. I completely lost it while walking into the room, when asked to practice holding my breath, during the scan as my arms and fingers felt like they were on fire; they actually wanted to stop the scan, I refused and just pushed through it, and had a complete meltdown once I arrived back to my car. I don't want to do this. I wish none of us have to do this. This wasn't even my first session, that's next Friday. I pray that I don't loose it like I did today. The tech was so sweet and understanding and explained every single thing she was doing. My RO wasn't there today so another RO came in to speak to me. She was very nice as well. She did ask me who my PS was as she said that my "foobs" and scars were the best she's seen. She made me laugh, lol. I thought it was funny. She did apologize if she made me feel awkward, but it didn't. She didn't say it in a creepy way.
I hope and pray you have a better day today! I'll check back in later this evening.
Side note - haven't heard from Esther in a few days; she was checking in daily. I hope everything is going ok for her!
Ivy
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Mich21 - Congratulations on ringing the bell!! Done!! I am so happy for you for both occasions!
Michelle 1215, Serendipity and Maine Jen Sending big hugs to you all!! Wish we could do that in person. I know we can feel alone even with people around who love us. I am alone most days, I stay 2 hours away from where my husband and I live. He comes to see me on Tuesday afternoons and leaves the next afternoon and then comes up and spends the weekend. It can be hard not to let your mind come up with all these thoughts that can make us anxious and/or depressed. I wish none of us had to go through this, but I am glad we can be here for each other. Finished treatment #7 today, 9 more to go. Can't wait to get back to some kind of normal if only for a month or so. I will start AI's at the end of October/beginning of November. My last experience was with Arimidex and it did not go well. Trying not to think about that too much right now or I will drive myself crazy!
xoxoxo
Marla
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Congrats Michele, on being done! What a beautiful photo! And, for your upcoming Wedding in Hawaii! SO awesome. What an awesome place to heal from all of this and begin your life together. Big hugs coming your way.
Jen, enormous hugs to you today xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo. My heart goes out to you. What you said is so true and relatable! I have wanted to quit every few days, but that's my flesh staging a major protest and not my spirit, which knows I need to do this. OK, I did not know about the green light thing above your head. This may sound funny, but I have NEVER had my eyes open. I haven't seen a thing! As soon as the techs have me in position, I close my eyes and think about lunch, or something really funny, and during each audible boost I ask God to supernaturally protect my healthy tissues from the rays. I know that if I watched that machine and lights going around me, I'd be terrified, so I keep my eyes shut. My sister and I rode an insanely fast indoor rollercoaster once at Universal Studios. After the ride, she mentioned the pretty palm trees. I said, "What palm trees?" She replied, "You didn't see them because your eyes were closed the entire time!" LOL
There are things we can do to restore our health once we are past these toxic treatments. It will help our bodies heal better and faster. It made me sad that because my PCP and my oncologists have no idea how to help this process, now I need additional help to do that, but finding a good functional/integrative doctor to hold my hand and walk with me through healing from cancer treatment has brought so much relief and hope to my heart. Plus, an integrative doctor (whether an ND or a full MD or both) will run detailed labs that our other doctors wouldn't even know to run, to help us heal.
Linda, so nice to have you join this group. Where did you find that comfort cup? That sounds great!! I love that you were taught how to self-massage to help lymphatic fluid drain. I wonder if there are Youtube videos for this? I don't want to just wait for my weekly PT appointment. I'd like to be massaging it on my own, too.
Well, yesterday was my weekly with my RO (and he is no comforting, empathetic George Clooney like Ivy's doc). He briskly pointed out that my skin is getting a light shade of red (I knew that), and pointed out a huge rectangle along my back and said it's getting red back there (thanks Doc, for pointing out something I didn't know about and can't control. Now I'm even more anxious). I'm already generously slathering on the creams, and included my back already. Makes me nervous that as of today, I'm only halfway through my 33 treatments. Praying I make it through without too much damage. Thank God for weekends!
Love, xoxoxox
Esther
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Esther I truly adore you so much. How did you manage to make me laugh, cry and laugh again and then sigh - all in one post??!? Thank you for your note. The George Clooney thing is too much - I cannot stand it - it makes me laugh so hard. You ladies! Also: you're half-way through 33 treatments!?! WOW. When I read that, I had to re-read it a few times - because I swear it feels like yesterday when this all started and we first met online. So that's amazing on one level, even though I know it feels like you've got a lot left to do. It sucks that you (or any of us) have ANY days of this tx left to do.
All we can do is keep on slathering the creams and such - and like you, I'm nervous because already (after 2 treatments) my boob scar is red, and it hurts to put on my special bra - already! I mean, really? You are hilarious "thanks, Doc, for pointing out something I didn't know about and can't control" - omg! That sums it up, doesn't it? People state the obvious, but like, what are we supposed to do!??! I also pray for you that you make it through without too much damage. I pray that is the case for you, and for all of us. This is so sucky. Also: you close your eyes? And think funny thoughts? OMG! You are unbelievably wonderful and delightful. I love that story about the roller coaster! What Palm Trees! OMG LOLOLOLOLOL! Marla - Congrats on finishing #7 !!! That's sooooo good - you're getting closer to the end! Thank you for your hugs. It has to be hard to stay 2 hours away from your husband - but how sweet that he comes to see you on Tuesdays. Still, I wish we could all be together, in person, through this all. I really do. It would be quite the scene wouldn't it? All of us hanging out, laughing, slathering, crying - but at least we'd be together. If only life worked that way. At least we have this space, so that's good. You're right that it is so hard not to let our minds run away with anxious or depressing thoughts. Also - I'm going to admit here that I had NO idea what you were talking about re: "arimidex" - so I googled it. Apparently I'm way out of a very important loop. I have my head in the sand until I am forced to pull it out with regards to treatments. So, for instance, I didn't know a thing about radiation until it was approaching - then I had no choice but to just learn and go forward. So when I looked up arimidex, I was surprised to learn it is highly likely I'll be taking it too! LOL. I haven't asked what's involved or what it is all called - but I'm going to be taking hormone therapy after all of this and all my surgeries are over. And, um, well, so am I correct that Arimidex is the hormone therapy pill/med/thing you have to take for 5-10 years that they've mentioned to me? What is "AI"? Am I being totally lame and ignorant here? LOL. Sorry. My husband is so good about "crossing that bridge when we come to it" - and usually I research and anticipate and think about everything way in advance. But with cancer treatments, I've been so scared about all of it, I've taken the opposite approach - more like "ok, just tell me when it's all over" LOL. Anyway, it's a good idea to think about things only when we need to. xo
Ivy: I'm sad you had that horrible experience with mapping. I mean, it sounds like you made it through, and yay it's now behind you, but yikes what a thing it all is, right? I wish I could have been there with you. This is all so yukki and awful. Thank you for your sweet words and for sharing your experience about your meltdown and such. I don't want you to be upset, but honestly, it makes me feel more sane and not super nuts or crazy or lost - just knowing you're out there struggling with this too. how great that you were able to get a laugh in there - even a small one. I've not been laughing a lot about anything these few days - until I got to these posts this evening. So you ladies have a good effect on me for sure. Anyway, hugs to you, Ivy. Loads of love. xo
Esther, what palm trees??!?!?! OMG! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Thank you all for your support and hugs and sharing. I'm so, so grateful.
Jen
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Esther - Half way done!! YAY! Indeed, it seems like yesterday I connected with you lovelies! I can't close my eyes, I thought that closing them would help me today...nope, that's when I lost it. I think I need to know everything that is going on with me. I was goin to lose it anyways so who knows. I just know that I was miserable in that position for that long. The palm trees! LOL too funny.
I get to see my RO aka George Clooney next week, I'll be sure to put my game face on for him, LOL!
Marlade - that's awesome that you're done with seven! The next nine will fly by!
Jen - thank you, you're very sweet. I wish I could be there for you all as well. Just know I'm here when you need me. Not sure why I was in my feelings today. Hoping it doesn't happen again. I really don't need anymore sadness in my life. I understand about not laughing much recently. My son has been very watchful over me, so I'm trying to be more aware so he doesn't worry.
Hoping you all have happy dreams tonight!
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Yay Mich21!! I am beyond thrilled for you!
Michelle 1215 - I am sure not knowing how your body is going to respond is difficult right now. It seems like we keep getting stuck in the "waiting room" while we flip out waiting to hear a diagnosis, test results, how our bodies will heal. I feel like cancer stuck me in that "waiting place" from Dr. Seuss (sorry I just read that book so many times to my daughter and now can finally relate) and I want to get back into normal life again. I am sure you miss your daughter and having her leave for college while you are trying to navigate this stress can be overwhelming. I feel lonely too just having to sit on the side lines of life right now. Plus my friends don't really know what to say to me and I swear a few people have avoided me completely. I am sending you lots of hugs and you are not alone.
Esther - I thought they didn't let bad mannered male RO's pass their residency??? What the??? Are they giving you steroid cream for the redness or do they wait on that? My sister told me to slather castor oil on everything so I wear a tank top under my shirts to absorb the oil. She also found the comfort cup on Facebook. Let me know if you want the link. Yes, there are YouTube videos on lymphedema self massage. I have also been watching a few just to make sure I am covering my bases.
MarieJen - I can't even begin to imagine your situation trying to recover from chemo fatigue and being a mom. You are amazing just for showing up with everything you have been through. I hope it gets easier for you.
Ivy - I think you wrote that you start next Friday. Sorry I am getting fatigue brain LOL! I found the whole mapping and set up to be the longest part of my rad experience so far. In fact, I spend more time in the waiting room until I am called back than I do under the actual machine. I told them last week that they need to put lips on that thing or something because it looks like an little android head towering over me. I have a radiation "buddy". We are always in the waiting room at the same time. He has prostate cancer. I did not know that they also give Lupron to prostate cancer patients. So we hot flash together and his wife fans us both!
Marlade - I am sure it's hard to be away from your hubby during rad treatment. I hope he was able to visit this weekend. I didn't know they did concentrated treatments. I would look forward to having this behind me sooner.
I have been trying to take good care of myself eating healthy, etc. but honestly I am only craving comfort food. Spent the weekend reading, doing art. My daughter is on a double sleepover meaning Friday and Saturday night! My friends are a blessing helping to take care of her and giving her the experiences I can't provide right now. Sending you all love and hugs!
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Morning ladies,
I hope you're having a good, radiation-free weekend! I know this can be a lonely experience. I'm grateful we have each other and I love your senses of humor in the midst of a yucky chapter of our lives. Jen, it was you who started our little group and I'm so grateful!! xoxoxoxo
Linda, thank you for telling me about the Youtube videos for self massage! It was making me nervous waiting for my once a week 5 minute PT massage.Yes! I would love the link for the bra cup. You are so sweet and caring. I think my tech just had a bad day. I had a talk with him the next day and he took it good naturedly. Hey Jen, did your PT measure your arm and is he/she massaging it for you? Are you wearing a compression sleeve? I keep forgetting to ask you! I only wore my sleeve on the plane flight 2 weeks after surgery. They gave me a little slippery thing to help get it on. And Linda you are so funny, the prostate cancer man's wife fanning you both during your hot flashes, LOL!! I enjoy talking to fellow rads patients in the waiting room, too. We have all nearly broken our hands on the shoddy locks on our lockers, so we already commiserate about that to begin with. Once I couldn't even get back in to my locker, so I had to go back and get one of the rad techs to open it for me. I wish I could say to the maintenance guy who installed those locks... You only had one job....I sleuthed out that EGCG sprayed topically helped in a few studies to reduce and even reverse radiation dermatitis. Unfortunately, I can't find an EGCG serum/lotion/spray cheaply. It's all oral and I'm looking for topical for radiation patients. Oh well. I'm going to stick with calendula and radiaplex. I'm only faintly reddish and grateful that 3 1/2 weeks in, I don't have any fatigue. I do have to keep reminding myself to drink 56 oz of water a day by using that cute Amazon thermos.
The whole time I've been sitting out here in the back yard typing, our neighbor's rooster has been crowing mournfully. I don't think it knows what time it is. Maybe that's a mating call?
Ok sweet ones, love and hugs to you today,
Love,
Esther
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Hi ladies,
Sorry I disappeared for a few days, I'm working remotely and as soon as I'm done with work I go to relax on the couch and I am OUT - I fall asleep without even realizing it and I sleep like a rock for hours at a time. Since Thursday I feel like I've mostly just slept. I've also been very sore since Thursday, it's not unbearable at all but it's persistent. It's just like a sting from sunburn but it feels like it's coming from the inside, it's hard to describe. But it's just sapped my motivation and energy completely.
Congrats on being halfway done Esther! What a great feeling! Today I missed my appointment to start my hormone therapy. I knew it was the 30th and I got fifty-million texts and emails to remind me from the Dr's office... The problem is, I thought the 30th was tomorrow lol. I had Tuesday on my brain, so when the nurse called it took me a second to process what had happened. She was not amused, but she never is. She's sooo cranky lol. She's called me a few times to berate me for being late and ask if I'm "Planning on coming in" and I've literally been checked in already and just waiting patiently in their waiting room! She was able to reschedule me for tomorrow morning - So, that means I get to go one more day before I have to have a shot and pills. I'm okay with that. haha. I'm just embarrassed that I forgot an appointment but I'm going to blame it on fatigue brain - Right Linda??
At least my MO is not George Clooney, so I don't feel too bad about missing her haha. Jen - I'm just like you, I didn't do too much research into things or I psyched myself out worrying about things. I just face things one step at a time as they come up. Speaking of that, Marlade - I start Arimidex/Anastrazole tomorrow. eek. Hoping I do okay.
Off to drink more water!! Have a great Monday everyone
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Hi gals,
Michele, so nice to read your message. I'm sorry to hear about the stingy pain going on. How many more days of rads do you have left? I am surprised to hear about the nurse's attitude, given all you are going through. I wonder if they keep these jobs for too long and lose their sense of compassion for their patients. George Clooney would have been way more understanding. At least he seems that way in the Nespresso commercials where he's always rushing around for a cup of coffee. Maybe your nurse could use a little caffeination to be less cranky. Hey, you mentioned a shot. Are you having both the hormonal therapy and zolodex injections?
Linda, I'm glad you are here with us in this group that Jen started. I know what you mean about friends either not knowing what to say or just disappearing altogether. I have a funny friend who sends silly animated GIFs, like the back of a cute little puppy repeatedly trying to get its little hind leg up to the next stair, with the words, "You've got this! Power through!" I haven't asked for any steroid cream (yet). If the itchiness gets worse, I'll try some over the counter cream first. I've reached the slightly itchy phase. I have 18 behind me and 15 more to go. Egads.
How is everyone else doing? Jen, are you managing your first full week OK? Has the PT worked on your arm to reverse the lymphedema that flared at night? I hope it goes away completely!
When you are all quiet it makes me think you are all dealing with a lot. We will get through these zaps!
Love - xoxoxoxoxo
Esther
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I agree Esther, when it's quiet on here I hope and pray for comfort and peace for you all. I'm sure you all are probably just like me, mind is always going...a thousand miles per minute.
Michele - that nurse really has a shitty attitude, I'm glad she doesn't work with me! Although, I probably would have a different nurse as I'd have told her off from the beginning. You're (we) are going through some difficult times on top of everything else going on, you sure as heck don't need someone who is supposed to be helping you make you feel worse, not eve a little bit.
By now I'm sure you all can tell my mouth can get me into a lot of trouble, but I fight the urge most of the times. I will say this, I'm very happy that my RO's team has been very nice so far, I really don't want to alienate George Clooney, LOL. In all seriousness I am very content with him as a doctor, looking like George just makes it a little bit easier.
My first zap is Friday...wait or is it a run through? I don't remember! If it is then Tuesdays my first one. See that's where the chemo brain still comes to play, ugh! Anywho, A little nervous, but ready to get going. I have my whiteboard calendar ready to go to begin X'ing the days.
Hoping you all have a beautiful day!!
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Hello friends,
I feel like you are friends even though I read more than I post! It's so nice to know there are others going through the same thing at the same time and to be understood! I have my first AccuBoost treatment today and I'm nervous and a bit weepy. Why is it that I can be just fine...well kind of...until I know I have to go for a medical appointment? I try so hard to compose myself in the car before I get out but inevitably tears start to form and I have to take a deep breath before getting out.
I had a call today from a wonderful woman from the hospital that is going to get me in for massage therapy after radiation is done. She's a cancer survivor and coordinates all the programs the hospital offers, supports groups and yoga as well as the massages. Her kindness meant so much to me and just writing this makes me well up with tears knowing that there have been so many kind and genuinely nice people helping me through this journey. In that respect I feel very lucky.
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https://www.amazon.com/BEECure-R-Radiation-Buckwhe...
Has anybody used this? If so, reviews? Thanks!
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Jasmine2717, we are your friends. I think we've all found one another here - and it's just amazing. Just warmth and love here.
And you can feel weepy any time you want or need to. I'm with you, I've been really weepy lately.
I haven't even caught up on all of the posts. I promise I'll read. I've been so overwhelmed with taking care of work, going to so many darned doc appointments each day including radiation, looking after kid activities (my daughter is at field hockey practice now and needs to be picked up soon), making sure there's food for everyone, etc. I'm overwhelmed. And today, my #4 radiation, I was really unable to speak or chat and at the start, one of the girls said "are you ok? you're not talking" and I said "I'm fine." But honestly, I just felt like "what's there to talk about. I feel I'll burst into tears if I start talking and what's the point. I still have to do this." SO I stayed quiet the whole time. Then, I could hardly hear them when they said "take a deep breath and hold it" and "it's ok to let your breath go now" because the music they were playing was wayyyy too loud which gave me a total anxiety / panic attack because what if they're zapping me and I let go of my breath too soon and then my heart is damaged? So at the end, after not talking, I was getting up and I said as nicely as I could "from now on, please no music. I could hardly hear you instructing me on the breathing." I know they took it badly because they had looks on their faces, but really? I wanted to scream: This is not a FUN thing - I'm not here to sing and dance and I know you're trying to make this fun and less awful for yourselves but if I cannot hear you that is BAD." Anyway, I'm in a really overwhelmed, sour space right now. Thankfully my hand PT is helping (I think) and I'm going to get sleeves and hand gloves and such. But at this point, the thought of more doc appointmetns on top of radiation every single day - it's got me down.
Plus: does anyone else feel a bit nauseous after radiation sessions? I've found my hands shaking - literally - and I've felt a tiny bit nauseous - and tired in the hours afterwards. Of course, there's not time/space for feeling crappy so onward.
Anyway, love you all. I'll make space to read your posts soon. Sorry if I've missed offering support and love or encouragement. I hold you all in my heart all of the time. More soon.
Jen
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Ivy, you are so funny!! Ok, so it sounds like you are getting your mapping done on Friday and starting on Tuesday. I will be lifting you up as you begin. I'm still X'ing my wall calendar with pink highlighter X's. It feels good to turn the page today.
Jasmine, I'm sorry that was emotionally difficult. I totally understand. You do have us as your friends, and we're not going anywhere. We'll be here cheering you on and not just through your radiation. I was in rare tears today but for a totally weird reason. When I walk out of the radiation room, I always pass this older lady on a stretcher. She is lying there covered by a blanket, wearing a mask, with her eyes closed. She is all alone lying on that stretcher and looks so sad and vulnerable. I know she can hear what's going on around her. It breaks my heart every day when I see her. I have started praying for her. Today I whispered words of encouragement to her as I walked past. But by the time I got outside walking to my car, I was in tears. I feel so badly for her. I hate that she's left lying there alone - even if for a few minutes. I wish someone would stay with her. Her nurse who brings her sits in the waiting room by the lockers and just texts on his phone. She must be just as scared as we are. Anyway, I pleaded with God to please heal her and I just have to leave it there. I can't cry while driving and it's not the best for my immune system. I did notice that I am more emotional during these cancer treatments. I wonder if that will ease off with time.
And Jasmine, I'm so happy about the massage lady. I think that will be invaluable. You've inspired me. I am not certain that I have the best PT so I think I'm going to call the place right at the hospital. Massage is HUGE for helping us feel better and can help offset lymphedema.
Hey Swimgal, that BeeCure Radiation Cream is THE exact one recommended to me by a friend of a friend! She said it was the only one that worked for her. Yes I can also recommend it. I use it and it seems to work well. Hey, it's also on sale!
Jen, I had a feeling you had a ton going on. You are one busy bee! It is overwhelming, isn't it? It's so hard when we have to keep doing everything we did before cancer- cooking and cleaning and laundry and errands, even when we're dead tired. Today I had to take my mom to her quarterly blood draw for labs, and I accidentally made the appt too close to my radiation. Well, it all worked out but I was a bit frazzled. Plus I have my family on our new keto diet so none of us ever gets cancer again and I am running out of recipes. Someone recommended Keto Cooking shows on Youtube! Why didn't I think of that?
How weird that they were playing music that wasn't at your request. I have often thought that I'd like music, but then worried that I wouldn't be able to hear them tell me when to breathe, just like what happened to you! It makes me upset that they reacted poorly to your request. That is so unacceptable on their part. It sounds like the music was for them and not for you? How I wish I could go with you and straighten them out. I'd sit in the waiting room and wait for you. We all are now here for each other. Remember when you're in there that each of us have grown to love you and we are cheering you on. xoxoxo
I haven't had nausea after rads but have read that can happen. I wonder if it might be related to not having had a chance to detox yet from chemo and rebuild the immune system. I don't know what time your sessions are but I wonder if going in fasting (just water) would help. My doctor had me do that the day before the surgery. Please don't worry that you will have tingling/neuropathy/brain fog and other side effects forever. We can detox and feel a lot better after this. it's never too late to detox. Exercise and walking will help throughout rads, even though it can be hard when fatigued. Yucky, I know! My sister has to keep at me to get me to go walking.
We will get through this together.
Sleep well,
Love you gals,
Esther
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Good evening ladies - Speaking of keto recipes I made bacon wrapped pickles in the air fryer. Yummy appetizer
I had my first Lupron shot today & I’ll get them every 3 months, they are meant to stop my ovaries / periods & put me into menopause. Then I start estrogen blockers in 3 weeks. I don’t always do well with shots so my fiancé went in with me. In his way of joking and making light he exclaimed “That needle is huge” … Yeah; I just started crying. The stress of everything just overwhelms me sometimes. The shot actually wasn’t bad and I didn’t get faint, but my fiancé felt so bad he stopped at a florist on the way home and got me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. (I know he didn’t mean harm with his comment but REALLY?! Meanie!! LoL) at least the nurses were nice today.
I love this circle of friends we have become. I hope you all know how wonderful and dear you are to me.
Much love - Michele
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Esther01, thank you for your review. I will plan on using that when my rads start. Who doesn't love a sale???
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Well, as we all know life throws you curve balls and for us much more than we'd like, so yesterday brought me yet another one. So, yesterday was the first day of my accuboost radiation treatment. I was excited, and nervous, to get started with number 1 out of 10. The simulation hadn't been easy with all the boob pulling and squishing, but they'd gotten things lined up to my doctors liking and it was a go, but then yesterday, after 8 tries and just about as many people aiding me, we just couldn't get it to work. The problem is that my tumor cavity is under my boob and very close to the chest wall. It's been difficult all along for the imaging to get it captured, so I am extremely thankful that it was even found in the first place!
I'm now back to almost square one. I have to have 16 radiation treatments, which I can deal with, but the hardest part is that I don't have a start date. They did do the mapping yesterday while I was there so at least that got completed and I got to keep the fuzzy pink robe and blanket that accuboost gave me! Wonder if that will show up on my medical bill?!
I also came home ate a huge bowl of ice cream with Oreos before dinner! So there!!!
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Esther- do you use the BEECure in addition to the Boiron? Do you prefer one over the other?
Thanks swim gal for the link, just purchased.
Jasmine- I sorry to hear about the detour you're having to take. Sending hugs your way. I love a fuzzy robe and blanket! I'm ready for autumn. Which reminds me, I need to buy a robe. I had pink one and got rid of it last spring; I no longer like pink. I ate German chocolate custard followed by some Doritos last night; we're entitled!
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