Wife Just Learned Of Brain Metastases
Married to the Love of my life since April 13, 1985. Our marriage like many has had it’s extreme highs and lows but after 38 years we are still together.
The day before Thanksgiving 2020 we were caught totally off guard with the news that she had breast cancer and they were waiting on final results but almost positive it was TNBC. At that time the words triple negative meant nothing to either of us because at the age of 56 she had always been the picture of health. She never smoked or drank and stuck to a healthy diet with exercise and appeared 20 years younger. In my eyes she would be here long after I had passed on.
Since being diagnosed to say it’s been a rollercoaster would be an understatement. After chemo, radiation and a double mastectomy her follow up scan showed no cancer. Only 6 months later we were told the next scan showed the cancer had returned and had managed to spread to one tiny spot in each lung, a tiny spot in her hip and one tiny spot in her back. She immediately started another round of chemo and her next 2 scans showed the cancer was in remission. She continued with her treatments and we assumed everything was going great. Two weeks ago she started experiencing dizziness and nausea which was soon followed by a slight slurring of her words. We made the trip to the ER where they did a CT scan followed by a MRI on her head. We again were floored to get the news that there were multiple specks of cancer in her brain along with 2 bigger spots in the back that were causing the problems. She has had two radiation treatments with 8 remaining. The oncologist was very straightforward about the poor outlook and was clear that the treatment was just an attempt to give her a little more time.
I only thought I had beef through some tough spots before this but nothing compares to the pain of watching your wife battle this awful disease. Many things in life I don’t understand but this one is at the top of my list. We aren’t giving up hope and will fight it one day at a time.
Prayers for everyone now fighting cancer of any kind.
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We are very sorry that you find yourselves here. There are treatments that can help her, but we understand just how stressful things are. What treatments are they suggesting?
We're here for you!
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luvmywife I'm so sorry to hear that your wife's cancer is now in her brain also, it just plain stinks! Yup led a 'healthy" lifestyle here also and some day's it just doesn't make sense. This awful disease leaves us all scratching our head all the time. I can't even count how many people say to me "but you look so good". My response is thanks ,if only my insides matched my outside.
There is not much I can say to ease your pain but as a MTNBC sister I wanted to know we are all here for you and your wife. Yes as you said keep hope alive and take it one day at a time. My hope is that she gets a long extension from the radiation treatments.
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Please know that the folks here will support you. I'm just about 14.5 years clear of a Stage IIB TNBC diagnosis, and though I am well, many I've known did not fare as well. If you love your wife, and her time is limited, show her your love while you can. Do not have any regrets. Talk about what she wants, and how you will honor her wishes. If you have time off to use, use some of that to be present for her. See if she's got anything doable on her bucket list that you can manage, and do that. Your letter talks about you, and that is fine. But talk to her about how she feels as well. If you are scared, know she is even more so. If the pain of watching her battle this is hard for you, the pain to her is greater. Let her know she is loved.
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