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Need encouragement and support

anxious66 Member Posts: 22
edited April 2023 in Not Diagnosed But Worried

Hello everyone,

I posted here about a month and a half ago about some concerning symptoms and received some lovely responses which I really appreciate. I did follow up on my symptoms with a mammogram ( negative results) but I have very dense breasts and after all my reading on here and research it appears that mammograms miss a lot when it comes to dense breasts. My symptoms have not resolved so I know I need to see another doctor to get to the bottom of it, but multiple factors have caused me to delay doing so. First and foremost is my fear of what I will find out. I have severe emetophobia ( irrational fear of vomiting) so the idea of potentially having cancer treatments that could cause vomiting sends me into panic mode. My other obstacle is my mother’s declining health. She has stage three lung cancer and is doing very poorly. She relies on me for emotional support as well as rides to doctors, tests, making meals, doing laundry, etc. If I were to be diagnosed with my own cancer I wouldn’t be able to do all that. She would also not be able to handle it as she is emotionally fragile. I’ve put my issues aside with the hope that I’d get her to a more stable place with her health, but that’s not likely to happen so I’ve decided I need answers once and for all. The problem is getting myself to the doctor for those answers. I am paralyzed with fear so am hoping that there’s someone on here who has also been petrified to see their doctor but finally did and can offer me some words of encouragement. No one knows of my suffering because I’ve kept it to myself as mine and my husband’s plates have been full with my mother’s illnesses ( there are many besides cancer). I don’t have the heart to put my issues on anyone else but I’m really struggling. I did what everyone says not to do and went down the Google rabbit hole and found nothing that points to anything but advanced breast cancer ( I have a very painful swollen armpit and the pain often radiates down my side and into my shoulder and collarbone). I don’t feel any lumps but apparently this type of swelling is not a good sign. It’s also been going on to varying degrees for many months now. I’m simply physically and emotionally exhausted and works be eternally grateful for any words of encouragement. Sorry for the novel (I’m an English teacher so I tend to write a lot). If you read this far thank you. I wish all you lovely ladies well.


  • boston12
    boston12 Member Posts: 9

    Please make an appointment with another doctor, ASAP. Any issues you may have are resolved more easily the sooner they are caught. Look for the best doctor or go to a teaching hospital.

    You are the most important person right now. It's not being selfish - it's the truth. I'm 5 years out, and it didn't look good at the point of diagnosis, but I received the proper treatment and have been healthy ever since. My sister had died suddenly 5 weeks before my mammogram and I didn't want to go, but my husband encouraged me to, and it probably saved my life.

    Please let us know how things turn out.

  • anxious66
    anxious66 Member Posts: 22

    Thank you for your reply. I live in a very rural area so I don’t think there are any teaching hospitals anywhere near me. I was planning to start with my GP as he’s really the only doctor I see on a regular basis. Every gyno I go to in the practice I’ve been using since I had my kids seems to be gone the following year when my annual comes around so I don’t have a relationship with any of them. I know what I need to do but getting the courage to do it is the problem. Getting myself to the breast exam and then to the mammogram required several sedatives. I’m a mess and I’m kicking myself for not dealing with my health anxiety a long time ago. If I had this might not be so hard. I’m m petrified that I’ve let it go for too long and my outlook is now bleak.

  • lotusconnie1999
    lotusconnie1999 Member Posts: 39
    edited April 2023

    anxious66, I am sorry that you are dealing with so much stress and feel so scared. Maybe attending a zoom meeting organized here - I don’t know if there is any? Talking to people would be great to gain courage.

  • anxious66
    anxious66 Member Posts: 22

    Thank you for replying lotusconnie1999. I am horribly petrified but determined to call the doctor next week because I can’t go on like this. I know deep down that something is very wrong. My mother is also so unwell and people are trying to bully me into moving her in with me which isn’t an option for multiple reasons. I need to get my situation figured out so if it turns out to be as dire as I think it will, arrangements for someone else to help with my mother can be made. If by some miracle it’s not serious, then I can focus more on caring for my mother. I will look into what you suggested about the Zoom meetings. Thank you again