Breast lump found
I found a pea sized mobile lump in my breast earlier this week and have a mammogram with ultrasound scheduled for the 19th. I’m high risk due to having NF1 so started mammos at 35. My first mammo at 35 they found a small lump in the same breast opposite side diagnosed as a BIRADS CAT 3 fibroadenoma with monitoring at that was just cleared in the Fall.
Prior to discovering the current lump I called my doc in October to set up an annual at about 18 months after my first but couldn’t get in for the rest of the year until Jan which I said was okay since I hadn’t noticed anything abnormal at that time other than the cleared supposed fibroadenoma. I have two close family members currently battling different types of cancer diagnosed within the last 2 years, one of which is my father, so I’m absolutely freaking out while waiting for my appointment that the lump may be cancerous since NF1 people are high risk of BC, particularly TNBC, and noting every little ache or pain I feel as part of this.
The internet definitely doesn’t help but I can’t stop from spiraling given what is going on with my family members. How do I calm myself until my appointment. I also was told I have dense breasts due to not having children.
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We're so sorry you find yourself here with these concerns, @ilovecats1987, we know this can all be incredibly overwhelming and scary (particularly with your prior history). And dealing with this while your family members are also battling cancer makes it so much more so! Steering clear of Dr. Google will help, but so will coming here to this community for support while you wait for your appointment and come what may with the results.
Are you able to get on a cancellation list to get an earlier appointment? In the meantime, keep as busy as possible and try not to go straight to worst case scenario (easier said than done, we know). We're here for you, and we'll be thinking of you!
The Mods
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I've found klonopin or ativan very helpful for the kind of anxiety where my mind knows that there's no point in worrying but my body is freaking out anyway. There are other pharmaceuticals for anxiety too, and most doctors are very sympathetic - your ob/gyn or gp might be happy to talk with you about suggestions and options.
I also used to use (and should probably use again) the guided meditations on HeadSpace. Those were great for me.
I definitely also 'self-soothe' with video games and food. That's a mixed bag - I often wish I were the kind of person who did stress cleaning instead, but it is what it is.
One thing a therapist told me once which turned out to be true for me is that - in retrospect- we are better at remembering things we did than how we felt. Another idea is to pick some things to do that even if you know you won't fully enjoy them at the time (because of the anxiety), you can think of it as shoring up nice memories for yourself. The day I got my second diagnosis, I went to Brighton Beach and walked along the beach and through the water (it was October, not swimming weather, but not too cold to get my feet wet), then all the way home and stopped for pizza on the way.
Sending good vibes!
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Moved my appointment to tomorrow at lunch which is the earliest I could get after my PCP put in the referral to change to a diagnostic mammogram. At least today I have work to distract me
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