October & Where do I fit?
November 11, 2024 I had a routine Mammogram. December 4th they did a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. December 30th I had a biopsy and was diagnosed with intermediate DCIS. January 21 2025 I had a lumpectomy but they didn’t get clear margins so I had a re-excision on February 5th. After healing I had radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks. I can’t take the hormone blockers that were recommended for 5 years due to a history of a blood clot when I was on the pill for birth control.
I have my first mammogram on October 1st and I am terrified. (For the results and for the mammogram because I still have pain from my 2 surgeries as I am large chested and they had to go all the way to my chest wall to get clear margins.)
After all that I don’t even feel like I can say that “I wear pink for me” because DCIS is technically stage 0 and people say I didn’t have cancer. October is breast cancer awareness month and I don’t know where I fit in. Am I a cancer survivor?
I have been struggling… my best friend ghosted me after my diagnosis and when I finished treatment in April people were like “Yay, you are done” but I had a lot of healing to do both physically and mentally. I feel like I have made lots of progress physically but mentally (and financially) I’m still struggling and no one gets it.
Feeling alone and like no one understands why I haven’t snapped out of it since it’s over (including myself).
Comments
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Who is telling you that you didn't have cancer? DCIS is definitely cancer. The fact that it is contained and not invasive does not negate the fact that the cells are cancer cells, and they can certainly become invasive if not treated. Wear the pink if that is meaningful to you.
Recovery, no matter the stage, is a long process and there is no time frame for it to be completed. People here can understand why you are still struggling; the mental and physical challenges are real. Scanxiety is no fun and I hope that your mammogram is uneventful.
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You fit, you belong to this community. I'm so sorry you got ghosted. It definitely takes time to process everything that has happened to you. How are you doing today @sparkle_25 ?
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