Exchange City
Comments
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Kate, my heart truly goes out to you. You have started the emotional healing today and it is a hard realization when we see the finality of what this disease has done to your and our bodies. I'm glad you had that cry. It is so cleansing. You will start to feel better soon. I pray that this wall will be a short climb for you. Firn
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I had a breakdown throwing old bra's away. I haven't even had my exchange yet. I wish I could say they were pretty....they were not. It was just knowing that size....that style will never be again.
Kate - I try to be strong for everyone else....but learning that sometimes it is ok to cry and not be so strong. Have a good cry on all of us!!!
You girls are making me want to see the twilght movies. Have not gone to any of them.
We did go to Toy Story 3 today (we have 4 little kiddo's) it was really cute!
Happy 4th!!!
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I had a breakdown throwing old bra's away. I haven't even had my exchange yet. I wish I could say they were pretty....they were not. It was just knowing that size....that style will never be again.
Kate - I try to be strong for everyone else....but learning that sometimes it is ok to cry and not be so strong. Have a good cry on all of us!!!
You girls are making me want to see the twilght movies. Have not gone to any of them.
We did go to Toy Story 3 today (we have 4 little kiddo's) it was really cute!
Happy 4th!!!
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Kate~ i think sites such as this are invaluable to our healing mentally. Its true how people have a sympathetic ear at home...but only for so long. If i try and talk to my hubby about some of my fears/feelings regarding further surgeries/implant size etc,he gets cross saying he's sick of hearing about it now!
None of my friends and family understand what i'm going through and will listen to a point,but cannot give advice.
I am so grateful to you all for being there,listening to my moaning about implant size,pocket revision, boob fairies etc etc!!! LOL
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Kate - hang in there we are all thinking about and praying for you - sending good vibes and wishes and hugs.
I finally figured out how to post my pictures on the forum - so be honest and give your opinion. I am filled to 370cc (was a very small A cup before), in the decision making mode if I should have any more fills - I have of course asked Deborah for her opinion.
Eclipse- loved it!!
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Deborah
I wanted to check back in to say a belated Happy Birthday and to thank you for all you've done for us. The globe and flowers are a beautiful reflection of the depth of your beauty inside and out!
xo,
Geena
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Kate, you're so right--I can totally relate, and your post is making me "check in" with myself to make sure I have allowed myself to grieve the loss of my breasts. Maybe if I can give myself this space, I can move past the bouts of depression I've experienced off and on during this journey. My exchange was about a week before yours, so I'm still feeling the effects of sore incision sites, and looking at a body that appears to have been mutilated, rather than put back together again. We will all heal in our time. We're so fortunate to have this thread.
Hopefor future: I gave all of my bras away shortly after my BMX. I gave them to a friend from Uganda, who took them there on her last trip home to donate to women who have never owned bras because it was something far too expensive. Sarah is one of my best friends, and she takes trips home to Uganda at least once or twice a year. I was about to throw all of my bras away, and she stopped me in my tracks. She told me about a trip home about 6 years ago. She was on her way back to the USA, at the airport in Kampala, and a cousin was seeing her off. Sarah complained to her cousin that her bra was so uncomfortable. Sarah's cousin said, "You have a bra? I've never owned a bra in my life. I would love to have a bra." Sarah felt really bad. She went into the Ladies bathroom, took off htics er bra, and gave it to her cousin, who was absolutely delighted to receive this gift. Sarah told me, "Girl, I was hanging and swinging all the way back to America, even with an overnight stay in Europe." A bra was a luxury her cousin could never ever hope to afford to buy for herself. Sarah and her cousin are heavily endowed ladies, like I was: 42 DDD. Her cousin had gone through life, with breasts that size, never having had a bra. Sarah told me that even now, her cousin still has that bra. It's been mended, and re-mended many times, but her cousin is very proud to own a bra. This helped me put a lot of things in perspective, and that is why I sent all of my bras to Uganda. But what's more to the point, if there are women in the world who cannot afford to ever own a bra, then I doubt they will ever get a mammogram, or any kind of breast cancer diagnostics/*treatnment, should they develop cancer. It's one way I count my blessings when I'm feeling sorry for myself about my situation.
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Kate: I know exactly how you feel--we all do here. I think we spend so much time going through our treatments that we never get the chance to just grieve! My husband doesn't want to hear about it, my friends have no idea and my only support is with this group on line and in my once a week healing art group which I don't always have time to go to. Kick, scream, cry, complain, moan--whatever it takes. We have all experienced such a huge and traumatic loss. As one of my many clients who have been on this journey themselves told me: you will be forever changed--you will never be the same. I find that I am quite depressed--I don't know if it's the constant pain from the expander (I am still waiting to be approved for physical therapy), the loss of my breasts, the set back in my career, the weekly dr visits, still having to wear a wig, not being able to wear most of my clothes, the loss of freedom. Go ahead and grieve--you have earned it and we will all try to be here for you by sharing our own pain, triumphs and discouragements. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to heal.0
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mslrg: What a beautiful thing to do! My bras have been strickly vanity bras to make me look as if I had more then the breast fairy gave me and to hide the fact that I had two different sized breasts. Every year, twice a year I go through my closet and give my clothes to the less fortunate. I am holding on to my bras until I know what is going to fit and what isn't. I lost 20 pounds after my diagnosis, so some of mine may still fit.
kay: Yes, you could call me a retired Vampire LOL! One of my friends makes these very ornate period costumes that are absolutely gorgeous. She also has vampire teeth to go with it! She used to go to the Ann Rice parties in New Orleans before Ann Rice found Jesus and gave up on vampires!
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Laura: If it were up to me, I'd say give it to the child, but I would ask Deborah to decide since it was her gift first!0
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twirlandcurl: Have you gone to Breast Implant Sizing 101? Deborah would be your best help!0
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OMG I had no idea Anne Rice had given up on Vampires! The things you learn on BCO
Kate -- I hope that after you grieve you will come back to happy/content. I definitely had a period of depression like yours but do truly feel happy now. My breasts are not what I had before, in some ways are better, but are definitely not perfect. But I'm glad I have anything there... that my scars are fading, that I'm not in pain, that I'm NED. I think before exchange there was a part of me (subconscious) that imagined a result that was just better, more truly a replacement than I ended up with. Maybe once I get a nipple I'll feel the match is better, I don't know. You had nipple sparing so I imagine yours have a better result. That said, they aren't the same as what you had.
Twirl -- the only reason I can think of for replacing the TEs is if they are leaking or otherwise damaged. I HAVE heard of that, though that too is somewhat rare. The other reason is if you develop an infection and the TE must be removed to clear the infection (most of the time the TE comes out completely while you heal, though sometimes the infection is treated and the TE replaced at surgery).
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ok,who is Anne Rice?? im gonna google her!
oh and...erm......im being picky here,but my hair's not black! LOL its deep chocolate brown by L'Oreal!! LMAO!!!!!
my friend and i have a severe vampire obsession! The BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD books by J.R.WARD are brilliant.My friend got me onto them and i was i little shocked at how erotic they are!!!!! The first one is called DARK LOVER. Read it and you'll be hooked =D
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That sounds a great idea for your unwanted bra's by the way.
One of my clients adopted a boy out in Uganda e few yrs ago and goes to see him regularly.He has also been over here.I think he must be about 17 now.
We also raised money in our salon (by asking for donations for the tea and coffee which is normally free) and we raised enough to but a cow for the people one year. Then the following year we raised enough to set a young girl up in her own hairdressing business. It's a far cry from a salon that we would know,but it went really well.Our cash and carry donated scissors,brushes etc and we used the cash to pay the rent on a 'hut' for a year which was her salon.
MBJ~ my bra's are all enhancing bra's too! from www.maxcleavage.com . I was paying alot of money for them too. Hey,they used to sell full breast shapes with nipples on them! Im gonna take a look and see if they still do. They were pretty expensive though,but made to order i think
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mslrg - great idea and perspective. I will donate all the "pretty" bra's I kept if they do not fit.
MBJ - thank you for putting into words how I feel.
I love this site for making me feel more NORMAL
I agree I will be changed forever after this ride. But I also am making sure it is for the better! I take more time with the kids, with my husband, my dogs etc. Thank you for all the support and love!
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Mslrg -- oh sorry I meant to comment: what a wonderful story!
Kay -- really you've never heard of Anne Rice and you call yourself a vampire buff??? LOL -- check out INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE... I believe that was her first Vampire book (and most famous -- in fact I'd say she started this whole trend in Vampire stories about 25 years ago, well the latest trend, before Bram Stoker
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Annie - you have a beautiful face. We have such gorgeous girls here on BCO!
I'm still hanging in here after chemo #2. I had more energy yesterday vs last chemo Sunday. I've still got some nausea, so now I'm wearing my Seabands and drinking gingerale. I was taking Zofran, but it wasn't kicking the icky tummy feeling. So, I am taking the Compazine again. No headaches this time (knock on wood). My temp has been down and my BP was lower than normal. I decided we should bbq some burgers tonight.
I hope everyone's 4th of July was GREAT!!!
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OK I saw the word vampire and I have to chime in. I read all of Ann Rice's vampire books way back when and loved them. Sadly, when I tried to read Interview with a Vampire last year, I couldn't quite get through it. I also enjoy all the current TV vampire shows: True Blood (total camp), Vampire Diaries (lovely vamps), and now just started with The Gates (kinda bleak). Did read all of Twilight but do not admit that to everyone...!
Great news, Kitty. So glad you are doing well after chemo #2.
Best wishes to all of you with recent exchanges or exchanges coming up. I had mine almost 5 mos. ago, and life is getting back to normal. I was a little down after my exchange too, but don't worry, that does pass. Kate - I don't know where you are with nipples/tattooes but I just had my areolas tattooed and have found this makes a world of difference. The exchange is not your final step - there are still lots of things your PS can do to give you a look you will like to see in the mirror.
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Kitty -- so glad you're handling the chemo better. And is this #3? That means one more A/C and then on to T? Hang in there! Hope the BBQ was tasty
Kristen -- oh yes I love all the vampire shows! True Blood and Diaries (even though I always tell my BF that Diaries is NOT aimed at my demo
Haven't seen The Gates yet -- OMG has it started and I missed it? Damn!Ladies I am going to start a thread on the pic forum called Post Your Bras. Thought people would like to have one place to go to look at bras... join me!
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Laura: A child with brain cancer? I think it is an easy decision for me to donate this money to his family. I am so honored about this....hugs, hugs and more hugs to all of you!!!
Our daughter had a surprise birthday party for my DH and I on Saturday. Yes, my DH and I share the same birthday and same birth year. I am an hour older than him, which has been a source of contention throughout our marriage, as I am the "cougar". I have invited countless friends over to our house to look at my roses, which still look beautiful. I am cutting back the stems to insure their longevity....
Love to you all!!!
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Lilah! What a great idea? Are we supposed to be WEARING them or just posting a photo of the bra? Will it be like a little fashion show? I hope that when Val posts hers, she does not crash the system.
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I'm wearing mine
It actually never occurred to me to display them any other way! Go for it Deborah! (LOL re: Val)It's done, by the way: Post Your Bras! is the title of the thread.
Oh and I added a photo to my Unilateral Journey thread to show my healing at 8 weeks post exchange.
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Oh and Deborah how sweet of your daughter to surprise you! That is the best. So you got TWO nice surprises for this year
Amazing that you and your husband have the same birthday!0 -
TwirlandCurl:
I am so sorry I am reading your posts so late! I just do not know about the need to go through an exchange for a larger tissue expander to just get you up to 400 ccs. I suppose I would want to know if you even need 400 ccs - if your PS is talking about using 200 ccs in the native breast. This is another invasive surgery - opening up the capsule yet again....and then once more for the exchange. As Firni and Storm and others have probably told you, many of us have implants with a volume of 50 to 150 ccs - some 200 ccs - greater than the volume of the TEs. We want to compare the dimensions of your TEs at their current fill level, vs. the dimensions of a 400 cc implant. I would wager they are very close. Unless your TEs are terribly displaced - positioned incorrectly - on the chest wall - I just do not know about the need for this. I am around all day today and you can post or PM me with your height, weight, ribcage circumference [read the Breast Implant Sizing 101 thread] and I can help you further.
Deborah
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VERY FUNNY, DEBORAH!!
I don't think my camera's batteries can hold pics of ALL my bras!((((KATE))))) - It is SO common to feel really blue after the exchange....I certainly did. There is just such a "letdown" post-exchange, I think. You've been making life-changing decisions - and allowing others to do so for you, as well (like PS's) - for many months, then suddenly you're all alone looking at the mirror, seeing breasts that aren't real, and the reality just sinks in: THIS is my body now. Just realize that it takes some time to truly come to grips with that for many of us, but that also, you eventually will find peace with yourself and embrace your new normal. EC is here to help us all get through that.....Hang in there, sweetie!
Well, ladies.....I saw my PS Friday for a post-nip check up. Everything's healing well. He said that they'd continue to shrink - hurray! - though they've come a long way already. He asked if I'd scheduled tatoos, and I told him I was planning to wait til fall. He said he was hoping to use my completed recon pics in his seminar on non-alloderm tissue expansion at a PS conference in August, so in order to get pics with healed tats, I'd need to do them this week. So......since I'd do nearly anything for my PS who I refer to as the "second love of my life (should really be the 4th after my 2 kids....lol...you get the idea)...........TATS for Val on FRIDAY!!! Good Heavens!!
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Val: Your PS sounds amazing--congrats in advance on getting the tatoos done this Friday!
Kittycat: I am so glad you are doing well through chemo--you are halfway there!
Kay: Well, Ann Rice was the goddess of vampire lore, oh 15 years ago--remember the movie Interview with The Vampire with Brad Pitt & Tom Cruise as vampires and Kursten Dunst as a little girl vampire?? I don't think that I could get through one of her books today, but I loved it way back then. I wager that the Twilight Series is much better! Dark Brown Hair, Black Hair--it still does look lovely with your pale, pale, vampiress skin!!
Deborah: What a lovely surprise weekend for you! The same birthday as your husband--what are the odds!! Question: Should I be concerned with the height of my TE? Or is this natural? Will it come down with the exchange and look more natural or is this something I am stuck with? Thank you!
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Deborah!!!
You make 60 (?????) look great!
Your generous heart and everything you do for all of us on here makes you beautiful inside and out!!!! Enjoy, lovely and giving friend. We are in a sorority for life.
(I just want to make it really out loud on here....Laura coordinated EVERYTHING> !!! She sent PMs to each of us, she had the consult with the florist, picked the gifts and ran it by all of us for our approval. She collected all the money and did all the work to give you the happy surprise we all wanted you to have. Our little Laura has a giant heart inside of her....so Laura, thank you for letting us thank Deb. How can that beautiful little person hold such a huge heart in there.
I am so happy you are happy Deborah!! You deserve all of it and more.HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
MANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oxoxox
annie
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Annie: I know, I truly know how much work Laura put into this. She was doing everything she could think of to get my sister to read her private messages [my sister did not have email alerts - but she does NOW!] and so she finally had to go over to the PMPS thread and personally ask my sister how she was doing - making up any excuse to get in touch with her. I had always wondered why Laura wanted everyone to PM her - months ago - and I kept meaning to ask her why the moderators needed this information, but forgot. It was all in planning this surprise for me. I am still amazed by the herculean effort it took to keep this a secret!!!! And having to contact everyone individually. Just blows me aways.
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MBJ: RE: the height of your TE: Well, the height corresponds to the style of the TE and the more projection you have, the taller the TE on your chest wall. But it is the projection which will be used to give you some "droop" or "ptosis" to match the native breast, and I am sure your PS will use this to his benefit at the time of the exchange. It is just fine...not to worry....
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Yes, thanks to Laura for all of her hard work for whippetmom's birthday gifts - she had to PM alot of us!!!
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