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  • itsjustme10
    itsjustme10 Posts: 64
    edited November 2013


    (((Liinda))) I have no words...you are not being a downer, or a complainer, It's how you feel...and you have more than earned the right to feel however you want about things.

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Posts: 274
    edited November 2013


    Hi Linda, sending you lots of gentle hugs, sweetie! Wish we could just sit in your garden and visit. Like the others have said, you've earned the right to vent and express your feelings of frustrating, questioning, etc. I have no answers, but agree with everything you've said. I think you're an amazing person not to feel anger towards that "care team" that impacted your quality of life. It's ok to not be grateful, and that's just one spiritual advisor's opinion anyhow ;-) I'll be back later to check on you, but wanted to say hi now and send you some peaceful thoughts.

  • ali68
    ali68 Posts: 644
    edited November 2013

    Hi Linda, really sorry your feeling like shit i wish i had a magic wand!

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Posts: 1,711
    edited November 2013


    Thanks everyone for the hugs and prayers. And BTW, Carpe, I DO feel IMMENSE anger toward my "team" but have to let it go or it would consume me. I keep telling myself I forgive them, but geez, those waves of extreme anger keep coming back over me at unexpected times.


    I woke today doing a bit better, at least not crying. I have a task list to get done today. For some insane reason I invited my entire family for Thanksgiving, which is fast approaching. I think maybe I thought it will be the last time I am able to host, and possibly the last time I am with them for this holiday (but not feeling that bad today - I may last a few more years). In any case, I will be busy and the brain has less opportunity to wander down dark alleyways that it should avoid.


    DH offered to take today off to spend with me. The days that I find most enjoyable are the ones I spend with him, but he had such a packed schedule that would have been so hard to rearrange that I sent him off with assurance that I will be fine. And I WILL be fine today!


    And I have gratitude for Cin, our fearless leader and example, and for each of you across the miles. Thank you for letting me rant, for the understanding, and the caring. Hugs right back at all of you!

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Posts: 274
    edited November 2013


    Aw your DH sounds awesome!!! YAY for him offering to stay with you, sometimes the intent is as good as the real thing...just knowing they are "there" and our touchstone.


    It's funny, when anger about something/someone eats me up and saps my energy, sleep, etc, I realize the other party isn't awake thinking about me! They're in a blissful sleep while I, already down and out, dig a further hole for myself with the anger. Ugh! Not fair, feels like they win twice. Keep pushing it back, you're doing a great job :-)


    Anyhow, the day is almost over here...hoping yours is filled with moments of peace!

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Posts: 2,726
    edited December 2013

    bump

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Posts: 274
    edited December 2013


    Thanks, Blondie! Checking in from the desert where it is still in the 80s and hot every day, doesn't feel very Christmasy! The locals are not only very tolerant of our Christian faith, but join in the fun! Some Arabs even put up Christmas trees, how interesting!


    Hope you all have a good day ahead, no pain, surrounded by love and doing something you love! I'll be back later, need to get the day rolling here, but wanted to share this fun picture making the rounds!


    image

  • heymoose
    heymoose Posts: 682
    edited December 2013


    Carp, what a cute picture. Hope you are doing well.


    Hugs to all,


    Cheryl

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Posts: 1,711
    edited December 2013

    Love the camel! Glad to hear from you!

    Cheryl, I used to live near Rochester. Loved the area, even snow, although I hear you are all taking a pounding this year!

    Hugs to all. Remembering Cindy with gratitude.

  • april485
    april485 Posts: 1,983
    edited December 2013

    I love that camel Carpe! It made me smile almost as much as the "humpday" commercial with the camel bugging everyone with the question "What day is it?" LOL

    Missing Cindy but knowing she is not in pain any more.

  • heymoose
    heymoose Posts: 682
    edited December 2013

    Linda, I was born and raised in Rochester, moved to Buffalo for college and stayed here.  Yes we have been getting quite a bit of snow, 26 inches so far this year.  

    Missing Cindy

    Have a great day, hugs 

  • itsjustme10
    itsjustme10 Posts: 64
    edited December 2013

    OMG, I love the camel - it made me smile for the first time today!! Thank you for posting that picture. :)

  • ali68
    ali68 Posts: 644
    edited December 2013

    Hi everyone, hope you all enjoy the holidays and have some fun. 

    I have had a terrible few months and I'm looking forward to chilling out with my two books. I went and had a op for abnormal cells ( cervical cancer ) they told me it was low grade from the biopsy then they decided that was wrong so they called me in. 

    I have had my mammo and looking good so a check up in six months and mammo next Dec. 

    my middle daughter ( eating disorder) is getting better and putting weight on. Still a long way to go but so much better. Youngest daughter had a bad time and I found a hypnertherpist who deals with disorders and other life problems. She was seeing a councillor but she made her worse always being negative and telling how bad her life was. Let me tell you I told her to re train and she is lucky I'm not making a complaint. 

    This guy makes her laugh and tells her how to cope with everyday life. She has been under three times and it is working. Before she couldn't sit exams because she was so stressed and no self confidence and now she has done her mocks and only had a little glip but was able to pull herself together. 

    She still has issues with DH but they are both trying to get on,  still very raw about her grandad but some good news for her. Her best friend moved to another country but it didn't work out so she is coming back.  She has got an interview for a good college to do her A' levels so things are looking up for her. 

    Alison xxx

  • leggo
    leggo Posts: 379
    edited December 2013

    Carp, thanks for that picture. It's hilarious! 

    Ali, good to hear things are improving for your daughters. Doesn't seem to matter what we go through if our kids are struggling, so I can imagine how hard this is on you.

    Elaine, I don't know if you still read here, but I hope you are doing o.k. I miss Cindy very much and hope the pain of your loss is subsiding. My thoughts are with you, Rick and the rest of your very special family.

    Checking out over the holidays, so Merry Christmas and Happy NewYear to you all. 


  • ali68
    ali68 Posts: 644
    edited January 2014

    Happy New Year to all. I miss Cindy so much! She made me a better person and I will love her till the end. Sending love and peace to her family! 

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Posts: 1,711
    edited January 2014

    We entered 2013 with Cindy, entering 2014 without her is sad, but what she gave us makes it so much easier to face the future, whatever it brings. 

    Wishing all of Cindy's family and friends here a year of peace and healing.

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Posts: 274
    edited January 2014

    Linda, I was thinking about you this morning and your posts about gratitude...a friend just sent me this link and I love it! 

    http://www.upworthy.com/you-take-zillions-of-photo...

    I also miss Cin and her "voice" and presence in this world.  I am going to try to keep honoring her memory by living my life to the fullest with no regrets. I picture her out on repo runs with Rick, guzzling M&Ms and working in her garden to pull weeds from her wheelchair, bless her for teaching us much about life and LIVING!

    Love and hugs to all of you wonderful ladies as we face 2014 and the many challenges it will no doubt bring, but also, the many blessings and joys!

  • april485
    april485 Posts: 1,983
    edited August 2014

    Cindy, please watch over Linda n-3 as she has joined you now. Some other beautiful ladies from this thread have been gone a while too....Marybe and Athena come to mind. Gone but not forgotten, RIP dear ones....and thank you for all you have taught us.

  • meow13
    meow13 Posts: 1,370
    edited August 2014
    Cindy,
    I am glad that you are at home and the pain isn't bad. The first thing I thought of when I was told I have cancer was I don't want to be in a hospital in terrible pain the last months of my life. That scared me the most. Praying for you.
  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Posts: 195
    edited December 2014

    Bump.

    Hello all those who followed this thread by Cindy-Rose.  Thought you might like to read Cindy's sister's latest post on her blog.

    https://cindyscancers.wordpress.com/2014/11/21/its-been-awhile/#comments

    Nicci

    I tried to leave a comment on Cindy's blog asking your permission to add the link here but I couldn't manage it.  Hope it's ok with you for me to put the link here.
     

  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Posts: 195
    edited June 2015

    testing for address.

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Posts: 274
    edited August 2015

    Hi ladies, it's been a long time since I checked in. I see that sadly my lovely gardening friend Linda has joined Cindy, I know they are having fun pulling weeds and watering flowers somewhere we'll all be one day! Hopefully they'll make a nice soft landing for all of us.

    I'm back in the states now and time to face the music, my 6 month mammo recheck is now 18 months overdue. I decided to roll the dice with no regrets so I could be abroad with my family (medical care off of the economy not great/scary), they were thriving and I didn't want to be the big wet blanket. So time to take care of self again and see what might be cooking.

    I'll be checking in more regularly now, so PM me if you'd like. Hugs to all!


  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Posts: 195
    edited November 2015

    bump

  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Posts: 195
    edited November 2015

    Hi suersis. I used 'Bump' to reactivate the thread in order to see if some of the people I used to talk to here, were still here. Sadly, the one who created this thread, Cindy-Rose passed away some 2 years ago now. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression this was still an active thread, it hasn't been for a while now.

    I follow you on other threads but don't post as you will see that I'm not Stage IV (TG). I used to post on this thread as the other's allowed me to.

    I wish you all the best in your treatment for the years to come.......I'm catching up on you fast........I'm 62 now and counting!.

    ((((hugs))))

  • leggo
    leggo Posts: 379
    edited November 2015

    Hi goodprognosis. I think of Cindy often and miss her very much. One of the strongest, kindest people I ever had the pleasure and honor of getting to know. I hope you're doing well.

  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Posts: 195
    edited November 2015

    Hi Leggo.

    Yes, doing well (TG). Three years NED now. Wow....wow...wow!!!!!!!

    I follow all my stage IV sisters on other threads. Been thinking about Cindy-Rose lately - still miss her terribly....

    I love your Avatar Leggo. Is that your little bowler?

    Wishing you good health, and pain free days always.

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Posts: 616
    edited November 2015

    Reminds me how I would check 2 or 3 times a day to look for posts from Cindyrose or her sister.

  • leggo
    leggo Posts: 379
    edited November 2015

    Thank you for the good wishes. So happy you're doing well. Three years! Awesome! Keep it up. Yes, that's my bratty dog, Max. Quite the handful and keeps me on my toes.

    Almost serendipitous that I saw the bumped thread. Thank you for doing that. Every time I'm feeling poorly and defeated, I think of Cindy and Pam....then I nip my whining in the bud. Love them both so very much and grateful that they always kept it real.

    Take good care of yourself and big hugs and love to you.

  • 2ATHENA2
    2ATHENA2 Posts: 7
    edited January 2016

    I CANNOT FIND GOOD INFORMATION ON SURVIVAL RATES.  STAGE 4 BREAST CANCER DIAGNOSED CHRISTMAS 2005. BONE MESTSTASIS 2010.(ONCOLOGIST  TOLD ME  I MISSED MY FUNERAL BY 2 WEEKS.)  LIVER METASTASIS 2012.(CANCER COMPLETELY RESECTED LEFT LOBE. PATHOLOGIST THOUGHT I HAD SURGERY.  LIVER AGAIN 2015.  WHEN DOES IT END? MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS THAT OF AN INVALID TAKING CARE OF HERSELF.  OSTEOPOROSIS BROKE ALL OF MY BONES FROM PUBIC AND HIPS TO NECK AND HEAD. ARMS AND LEGS WORK. MISSING SEVERAL VERTEBRAE. BACK HAS GAP. MY MUSCLES HOLD ME UP. MY PARENTS TAKE ME TO DOCTOR ONCE A MONTH (THEY ARE 80 YRS.) HUSBAND HAS JOB ON THE ROAD. LOOKS FOR SOMETHING ELSE BUT MY PRE-EXISTING CONDITION PRECLUDES MOST JOBS THAT HE COULD GET. I HAD TO GIVE MY TWO GIRLS TO MY HUSBAND'S SISTER TO RAISE, SEVERAL STATES AWAY. PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED VISITING. IT IS ALL VERY EXCITING FOR NEIGHBORS IN THE BEGINNING AND PEOPLE PROMISE ALL SORTS OF HELP. SURVIVING 10 YEARS THOUGH, THEY CRAWL BACK INTO THEIR OWN LIVES, FIGURING THEY HAVE DONE ENOUGH, RIGHT? I AM IN A SMALL TOWN BECAUSE WE COULD AFFORD A HOUSE HERE. THERE ARE NO CANCER SUPPORT GROUPS THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND THE DAY TRAVELLING TO, IF I COULD FIND A RIDE. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE BECAUSE OF BACK, MEDICINAL ISSUES, ETC.

    WHEN DOES IT END?

  • 2ATHENA2
    2ATHENA2 Posts: 7
    edited January 2016

    HAVE YOU SURVIVED?  PASSED ON?

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