My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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@irishlove That's beautiful. A life well lived. My mother came from poverty and spent her career taking care of poor kids. A beautiful soul. I had 12 at the table yesterday, and we missed my mother and a lost brother, as we always do on these occasions. Since Mara likes recipes, I will recommend Samin Nosrat's buttermilk-brined turkey if you ever have occasion to cook such a beast. Thankful that I was strong enough to do it this year, grateful to the universe and of course the medical profession for giving me some time.
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@irishlove Thank you so much.
What wonderful things you did for those in need.4 -
Irish - Thanks so much for sharing those stories about you and your husband and past holidays, etc. Those are wonderful, very moving, and I feel like I know you better now. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, as I did, and that we can both look forward to some more.
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Sounds like Irishlove and Toughold crow have had such large Thanksgivings. We used to have those through Mom and older DB as well alternating years. DB, SIL and their three kids. Younger brother, wife and his son as well. Mostly good times back then. A lot of Guitar Hero in the basement drew an audience or trying to convert my niece and nephews into Star Wars fans. Heck, that happened every Sunday dinner too.
It looks like a nice day today, not too much on the agenda for me, laundry, budget boosting, most on the TV this time, watching the cooking videos and getting paid for ads, it is the most easy way to make a bit of money. Other than that, more mobile games, also for cash and that is about it. I am fully prepared for the big snow we are supposed to be getting, got my ice melt, not rock salt, the blue stuff that works better, wee shovel and a broom if snow is dry. Can we cleats as well and use two canes as needed with the ice picks. I have never dealt with winter and a cane, might make the original cleats work better. Also means more PT in bed to strengthen muscles and core, bridge pose, some ankle work and lifting my knees to chest as well, will move blankets and the cat off to get this done.
Breakfast is looking like beans and cheese chopped in the spice grinder with some of the broccoli slaw that has been alive forever, I smell it everyday and still smells fresh so may add some of that OR some of the frozen veggies in the fridge. I need to use those up. An egg sandwich with ham would be good as well. So many options. I have also decided that beyond the whole saving money bit, make use of my rewards for paying rent on a debit mastercard and keep that credit in grocery savings as well. That credit could be used or saved for the next time a Walmart delivery comes up.
I do hope has a good day, in pockets for everyone who needs me.
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Love reading all of your thanksgiving stories. So much generosity for yourselves and others. We had a small gathering, DH and son and daughter in law, which was nice and a simple. Texting with friends and my sister and her family, which we chose this year to pass on. Just wanted to be home, snuggled in. We Ordered the thanksgiving meal from a local restaurant and I made the vegies. I allowed myself some wine with the meal, and bourbon and brandy for dessert lol. Some great recipes for cocktails from the let’s go drinking thread here lol.. it was fun and something I never do. Since I had steroids with infusion on Wednesday, my appetite was huge, I had two plates full, and still sent the kids home with plenty.
I think a lot about the lessons learned on this journey, facing mortality so very present, and the courage to bear the heart open for the body as it rises and falls which we have no control over day by day. And yet, there is so much love and caring flowing which I so appreciate. Just breathing. Just being. A Loving awareness. The sun is shining, the air is cold, my green tea comforting, and I have the day off from work. Feeling grateful for you all and for this life, for as long as it lasts I’ll send love and light, and receive it as best as I can.
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rlschaller - So nice to hear about your Thanksgiving. Those small cozy ones with just a few can be wonderful. After my mother died, my father, brother, and I had 5 years of small easy gatherings with just the 3 of us. Those have become some of my most cherished Thanksgiving memories, surprisingly.
I also really connected to your comment about the cold air, sunshine, and tea. As I am reading your post, I too am sitting here at home with cold air outside, some sunshine, and a cup of green tea - but I add ginger to mine, so it's "green-ginger". Looking forward to a nice walk as soon as I'm done with the tea.
Glad you had a good day. Thanks for telling the rest of us about it!
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I Love the Thanksgiving stories. Irish, your giving heart shines through. Rlshaller I love cozy stories too as that is my life now. I came from a large, extended family where we would all travel an hour or so to an Uncle's house out on a small ranch. I remember a house full of adults and lots of cousins outside shooting at tin cans and just being together. It was Southern California so the weather was always nice. There was always tons of food and lots to do. My Dad was the youngest of six brothers who all had lots of kids. Different people showed up different years, but we were always there. I was the youngest cousin. It was a wonderful time. Sadly, everyone started going their own way and I am rarely in contact with anyone on that side of the family anymore…a long sad story. I know we are all thankful for the days we have now even the days where we sit in a quiet house drinking a cup of tea. I am thankful for all of you in my life now. You are my extended family.
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Hi there, I'm Spookiesmom's daughter. Yes, my dad was diagnosed in 2011 with prostate cancer and mom was diagnosed in 2012 with breast cancer. My dad died March 29, 2021, and my mom passed just this past June. No walk in the park. I now have Spookie- she just turned 15 on Halloween (which is why Mom gave her that name LOL), and I also have her cat (well, my son has decided to keep him). Thank you for remembering my mom.
~Quiltycat
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Happy belated Thanksgiving to all who celebrate. We left on Wednesday morning to drive to our best friends in Michigan. Trip only took an extra 15 minutes than normal so traffic was not an issue. We’re leaving Monday to drive back home and hopefully traffic will be okay. Brought our 14+ yr old dog with us. Other 2 in the kennel on vacation. My bones are killing me as the temps have been in low 20s with wind chills in single digits. Even colder back home. Plus I got another UTI yesterday, 3rd one in 2 months🤬. At least I had the foresight to bring my meds. See my MO on Wednesday and will discuss these UTIs with her. No doubt they are caused by Ibrance.
Sending caring thoughts to all who are struggling with health issues. And hugs to everyone🤗🤗🤗
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Thank you so much Quiltycat. It's really nice to have the follow-up information. I also hope you had a peaceful and warm holiday filled with good memories. Pets for Spookie and the kitty.
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Goldens - Sounds like a nice trip and good Thanksgiving, but so sorry about those UTI's and your bones. I've been having a lot of weather related bone and joint problems too. I forget how bad it can get until the fall/winter weather hits again. I get noticeably better in spring/summer. The drugs really do make it all worse. I hope you get a good solution for the UTI's when you see your oncologist on Wednesday. I love the changing seasons and have been managing to get out for some enjoyable walks to experience the fall in all it's glory, but then it always comes with these downsides like muscle and joint aches that are exacerbated by the weather. I guess it beats the alternative. In any case, I'll bet it's been real nice for you to see your old friends and enjoy a drive. Hugs back!
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Goldens - I feel your pain with the UTIs. I went almost 30 years without one, then had 2 in 2-ish months. I started taking AZO cranberry supplements supplements on the advice of one of the nurses and I've been good for a few months now.
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QuiltyCat, my condolences about Mom and Dad passing and the stress of dealing with two cases of cancer at the same time. I can empathize as my Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and it was stressful with my cancer and dealing with stress of losing Mom. In your pocket. I do love that Spookie is still with us and in your loving hands.
Goldens, glad you enjoyed your Thanksgiving for sure, I am sorry you are dealing with frequent UTI, I know you will discuss with MO, there must be something they can do besides cranberry juice and meds to keep them away. In your pocket. Glad your dog got to go on the trip too.
We did get some light snow which may stick or not. Next week, few days of a few centimetres of snow. I am prepared and will keep watch to make sure there is a space dug out for garbage and ice melter on the front stairs. I am not doing both but doing it mostly for me, cleats are at the ready, spikes on canes at the ready too. I am leaning toward the midsole spikes as they do not cause me to slip on smooth floors and can be reversed pretty easy.
Typing this on a sticky note as I keep forgetting that I have to sign into the site and have lost a couple of posts but oh well. Got laundry going, doing some budget boosting, want to save money on Amazon for the cat litter and my sour cream and onion seasoning as I am addicted to it. I have not come across the same seasoning at the regular grocery stores but that is fine.
I had a good meal earlier today. I sprayed a big bowl with cooking spray, cracked an egg, whisked it then added 1/4 cup black beans and some beefless ground as well. Heated on high in microwave for 2 mins 30 secs. Pulled out and added some shredded cheese on top for another 60 seconds to melt it on high. Cut the stuff up and added a generous amount of sour cream and onion seasoning and some salt. Put a spoonful of mayo as the binder and just mixed it all together. It was very good, really was a nice cheeseburger without the bun. I will do stuff up that way. Also other than the cheese and bit of mayo, nothing was really high calorie as the beefless ground does not have many calories but loads of protein. I was very full and feel good it was nutritious. Not sure what will be on the agenda for tonight but I will have to see. I can't say I love the crunchy peanut butter so I will see if my spice grinder can handle making it smoother. I could not get mooth peanut butter at amazon. If I can smooth it out some way myself, that would help a lot until regular smooth peanut butter in the brand I like comes back.
I do hope everyone has a good day, in pockets for everyone who needs me as well.
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Mara, I have gotten into the habit of refreshing this site every time before I type so I don't lose my posts and know whether I need to log in. It is a pain but works.
The family has all left to run an errand so I have the house to myself. I would have gone but they just went on the spur of the moment and I would have needed to dress, etc. Oh well…I have done a lot this week so it is fine. Me and the dog are just sitting here listening to Christmas music and killing time. The weather is nice for a change so there are lots of neighbors out and about putting up Christmas decorations, etc. Normal days are a good thing.
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Intolight, take it easy days are very good I must say and I am glad next week only has the one appointment for MRI results. Three in a week is a bit much if I am being honest. I have not decided on what I want to watch, I am not too Christmasy except for Christmas lights, DB will likely take a drive to see Christmas lights which I do enjoy, did notice some coming home on Thursday.
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Off topic, I don't if any of you enjoyed Star Trek or not but I found this movie on youtube which is really good, moving and the best Star Trek I have watched in a long time. It is called Unification. Link is below.
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Wow, hard to believe we are in December already, November went fast. Hopefully winter goes fast too. I will be interested in what happens with the weather next week and the property manager's response to the weather too. I still plan to salt the front for myself. I do not go out much so that will help. Just have to have a path for the garbage and the Paratransit as well. They are talking quite a lot of snow but we seem to be avoiding the snow squalls for now which is good. They are calling for large amounts of snow. I will peek out front.
Cat drank too much water and overfilled his belly. The only plus side is I have a wet dry hand vac to clean that up and I can clean the inside well. Also busted out a vileda spray mop, fastened a couple of microfibre pads with elastics on both sides and did a small floor mops. Just have to wash out the inside and all will be well. Apartment smells great though. I have the microfibre pads in the wash already. Going to refresh the spray bottle as well. I love the wet dry hand vac for these kind of messes. Easy enough to clean up and disinfect the vac. Smells fresh now.
I am planning to make similar meals to yesterday. Just had a mini pizza with olives on top, it was good, quick meal. Beans will follow along with an egg and beefless ground. Not sure about seasonings yet.
I do hope everyone has a good day, in pockets for anyone who needs me, shouting out to Irish, Mel, Candy and Goldens as well.
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Good Morning everyone. I’m thinking that everyone had a good and restful Thanksgiving with loved ones and fur babies. I glanced through a lot of your posts and have the gist of the conversations. i just want. To comment on your lovely inspiration @chicagoan from the sermon you heard in Church, and how it lifted you up to share your good feelings about it. Like you, I draw my joy and encouragement from Spirtitual inspiration.we on this forum are all experiencing anxiety every single day from our health and all that goes with it.. I. Keep a Bible next to my bed and a small leather book of “Daily 1Minute Inspirations” on different topics. I read d it every day and it really helps me. My little book. Has been having words for each day lately about Anxieties we face each day, and it had a scripture from Mathew that was used, and now I’m going to go back and look for it to see if it’s the same scripture you mentioned from the sermon you heard😊♥️.
The whole month of November was not good for me. I’ve been mostly sick from the monthly injections i got. the Whole month was awfully painful with. feeling sick with ALL side effects. On Thanksgiving and the day before I cooked the favorite. Stuffing and sides my kids love. So much. I love love love th smell. Of Thanksgiving. DH & I have an efficient system we do together to prepare the Turkey and between the two of us h everything stays clean and organized as I cook. I. Don’t want. Any help in the kitchen from my adult children who always offer to come over and help. They all work full time at very exhausting jobs so I don’t feel desperate for their help 😂… DH and i prepared a much smaller turkey this year. Previously it was always an 18 -20 pounder…..so this year it was a 14 lb Turkey, it cam out so goldenly delicious 😋 and the stuffing everything my kids crave every year. We were a smaller group this year, my married daughter and her DH, our youngest son who is single, and my oldest DD currently single and divorced.they all brought some sides and we had a very relaxing time. and as usual the. turkey came out so moist and delicious.😋 i just sat and relaxed with my glass of wine and my SIL and DH shared Royal Crown Apple drink . and watched the football. games. I went upstairs and watched the dog show and little Pug Vito win best in show🐾🥰. Everyone cleaned up and that was a good day.‼️
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Catherine I adore classic Star Trek, ever since I was a kid watching the very first episodes. This was sweet. I wonder if AI was involved.
@shanagirl So sorry to hear about the struggles with treatment, but glad you are surrounded by love and dog-show cuteness of the surprise pug win.
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Hospital again this weekend as i had a huge pain flare thursday night and big temp spike and pain friday. Im so tired of this. at least i have a good room on a good, quiet ward with a great bathroom (food still sucks). My PICC is clogged and until they can find the source of infection (I thought it was my chest again) they wont clear it so I have this dodgy cannula that causes the damn fluid and IV antibiotics to not go in well and the monitor to go off. Last night I had another massive pain event because I got stuck in bed for 8 hours on a potassium drip and I think my piriformis muscle is aggravating a nerve back there causing all the problems. Well, laying on that for 8 hours and having to stay relatively still = bad idea. Now they have me on fast release oxy every hour and its like can I NOT just have ONE muscle relaxer? Please? Tonight Im sat here with a 4hour sodium drip aaaannnnddd the infuser just went off again. F this!!!!!
When I get home (hopefully tomorrow) Im calling my palliative hospice support to see if they can do a pain meds review and if they want to take it over. My current cocktail isnt working at all and if they will prescribe diazepam as needed then great,
On the plus side, while I was wailing and trying anything and everything to get stuff under control Thursday at 2 am, Hubs was on the Lego site securing one of the few Endurance sets with the little James Caird lifeboat. I was commenting to him tonight when he brought ice, fresh undies, and dinner that it had sold out in less than an hour and how bummed I was. I love the story of Shackleton and his expeditions and all the polar explorers - such a different time. He grinned and said what do you think I was doing Thursday at 2 am? He will build the big boat and Ill do the lifeboat over xmas. Came with two free additional unrelated sets too so good value considering. He drives me nuts sometimes and then he goes and does stuff like this.
take care
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Shanagirl-Glad you had such a nice Thanksgiving with your family and were able to cook.
Sondra-How frustrating to be back in the hospital. Who wouldn't be in pain having to lie still in bed for 8 hours enduring a drip! Hope you are home soon and your pain meds can get figured out. Your partner sounds wonderful-what fun you'll have building those boats.
Mara-I am experimenting today with freezing the laundry and then drying it on the radiators. It has been very cold here the past few days. I had to work outside yesterday for 6 hours and my knees were aching. I'm interested to see if freezing before drying will really work and make the house smell good.
I had a nice Thanksgiving with some old friends. The wife and I went out for a walk at our arboretum. She made lasagna and salad, I brought a pie. Another friend of theirs dropped by. We had a wonderful time just relaxing, talking and listening to music. I was sad at first that I wouldn't be with family because of their travel plans but the day turned out very nice for me. Cancer and aging are teaching me I need to let go of the past and try embracing the present.
Wishing everyone a happy, pain-free December and some miraculous cancer cures!
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@sondraf Wow, those Lego sets are hard to find! Well done! My grandsons have tons of Legos. I looked the Endurance set up once I read your note and you are correct, you can't even get one. I found the light set that goes with it, but that's it. So sorry you are back in the hospital. What a struggle! Praying they can get things under control for you so you can have a nice Christmas.
@chicagoan Yes, it is difficult to let go of the past. I am finding that very hard to do. I used to hostess the dinners but I just can't anymore. It is so hard!
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Good wee hours of the morning to all. Can't seem to fall asleep. It's cool and like so many others commented, cozy to cuddle up at this time of the season. Sunny Florida where we live, will be around 38 this hour. I didn't cover plants as most are close to the home, which should provide some warmth. If it drops another 2 degrees tomorrow night, we will cover and bring in favorites and elderly plants.
I checked and we have not had a decent rain since October. No wonder the birds are drinking so much. Even the robins showed up in numbers. They don't eat see, but sure love the birdbath. One of the yellow finches stuck his one foot in the water and pulled it out directly. Hilarious. We have 4 drinking stations for day and night critters. Usually empty the next morning. Using peanuts for the vocal crows. They shove 3 to 4 shells with peanuts inside into their mouths. They look like hamsters. lol
@sondraf I was so sad to see that you are back in the hospital. Our hospital does not allow Picc lines. I inquired why, and the surgeon replied too risky for infections. If they are gonna tortue you with being bedridden for so long, I think I'd demand a change to a comfy chair. I can share with you that my pallative care RN manages my pain meds and reviews meds prescribed by others. Hope you are home soon.
For UTI's ( I have alot due to MS) I use gummy cranberry chewables. It has cut down on the number of UTI's. I test myself and keep an RX on hand of cephalexin, with doctor's approval. As for this round of colitis, I shook it myself. I refused to go off Ibrance twice in one month. And that med is a 10 days dosage. It's about 1700 mg a day of antibiotic. Can't take Ibrance while on it. I tried, very very bad idea. I just decided to drink broth, eat the following in small portions, jello, sourdough bread, mashed potatoes and only with pills, applesauce. Water only to drink . It worked I suspect because it was not in full blown mode.
It was so lovely to read of all your Thanksgiving celebrations. We have this time to make memories and be mindful of what is important and isn't. I am thankful for all of you. IN your pockets, always.
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Well, our snow event has started, supposed to be for this week. Going to stay in until I must go out, that is when my ice melter is put into action, cleats will be worn and cane or two canes go into use with spikes. Next week does not look too bad for snow. Never had the cane with spikes so that is extra footing as needed, cleats on shoes or my little boots as well. Should have decent traction. Knowing all this, I need to move the snow out of my head. I can tell I am worry worting and that is dumb so just go out when needed which would be Thursday, for hospital appointment and garbage again. Period and stop talking about all of this.
Laundry is on the go, going to be budget boosting soon after a sweep and vacuum. Realizing my place needs 2 or more vacuums and sweeps as well to keep up. My cats have a circular toy which they love but it leaves a lot of bits of cardboard around which is a PIA though would not get rid of their toy. I also notice that due to the speed of rotation, there is a lot of soap in there even though I use a very limited amount of detergent. Doing two 3 min plain water cycles, wait a bit and then do the 6 min softener cycle. My softener is mostly vinegar with a bit of actual softener because I really like the smell.
Breakfast is looking like veggies chopped into an egg, beefless ground added and beans. Looking for the cheeseburger thing again, just more veggies included. Later, going to try to use grinder or chopper to smooth out the crunchy peanut butter. I do not like it crunchy BUT usual places I go do not have the smooth variety and I don't enjoy the other brands. I will try on a spoonful and see what happens. Second meal or dinner would be an ham and egg sandwich, prefer to toast the english muffin first with cheese and garlic then cook the egg in the mini griddle, I like those.
I do hope everyone has a good day, in pockets for those who need me too as well.
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Has anyone heard from Illimae or Divine lately?
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Oh Sondra, I am sorry about you being in the hospital again with the pain and the IV not working. I hope you are home now in talks with palliative care for you pain and better pain management. The Lego project with your husband sounds like a great deal of fun for you to. The other part of being at home is that the food is certainly better. In your pocket to get out and less or no pain if possible and soon.
Tougholdcrow, I am thinking AI was involved but it was really emotional as well without much dialogue. I would think that the makers of this also had permission to use the likeness of William Shatner and perhaps got permission from Leanord Nimoy's family as actual past stars of the show showed up in the garden scene. Very good Star Trek indeed.
Chicagoan, I have never heard of freezing laundry but makes sense to kill any bacteria that might cause it to smell. I cannot do it but let me know how it works out for you. I imagine you are having similar weather to me right now. We are going to get dumped on for sure. I will be checking the front steps to make sure they are shoveling here. I know I have my stuff I bought but making sure they are on the job too.
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Mara-It's been cold here-teens and twenties, but other than a blip a few weeks ago, we haven't had snow. The snow we had was heavy and wet but melted the next day.
I tried freezing some laundry yesterday by putting it on the line before radiator drying. On a site about old fashioned chores, someone claimed it made the house smell really good. I didn't notice that but I may give it a few more tries. I guess the house didn't smell of wet laundry so that was a plus. Hope you don't get too much snow.
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@kbl I can only imagine how hard this decision is to make. It is only one that you can make and I am glad you're at peace with it. It just makes me sad to think of all the lives destroyed by this horrid disease. Prayers and big hugs.
@sondraf So sorry to hear about your hospital stay again! I hope you are home by now and are on the mend.Even in the darkest of hours your able to focus on doing something enjoyable. I think it's so sweet that you and DH build together. I hope your having a better day today.
@shanagirl Sorry it's been a rough November, fingers crossed for a better December. Happy to hear you were able to enjoy the holiday. Thanksgiving smells are the best, I agree.
@mara51506 Glad this week is quieter for you. We are all in your pocket for stable results and easy travel to appointment.
I enjoyed all of your personal stories and fond memories of the holiday's. As we all know here those days are the most important things in life.
We also had a nice holiday and weekend. We hosted and those are the days I wish I had multiple ovens lol. As usual it all got done and everyone enjoyed their favorite dish. DH and kids did the cleanup which I am very grateful for! Bonus was my DD stayed the weekend and we decorated the tree together, which I love. Yesterday my bil had a fun Eagles football party at his house we ate and drank again ! Grateful and blessed that I was able to enjoy it.
Hi to all, thinking of Carol and Mel. Sending strength and good vibes for a good week for all💕
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@cookie54 Thank you so much. I agree about how cancer destroys lives and families. I feel so sad for my family, more so than myself.
@threetree @illimae should pop on once she sees herself mentioned. And I just saw @divinemrsm post on a different forum a few days ago.
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@threetree I’m here!
Sorry, didn’t realize I’ve been absent so long. I’m doing well though, just hanging around the house, listening to podcasts and doing jigsaw puzzles.
Big hello to all 😁
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