STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Had an MO appt. last week and they forgot the Prolia so I have to go back next week for the shot. UGH!! Sometimes they make you feel that you're not important because we early stagers are considered cured. I get that there are much sicker patients but I'm still a patient of yours regardless of my status. No doubt I would love to see the MO once a year and be done with it. I have DEXA due in December and if things aren't any worse with the OS after stopping the anastrozole then I want off this drug which I will do through my primary doc-HOWEVER meanwhile the MO says see you in 6 mos and they ordered Prolia. Infuriating. Hope to have it figured out by next year. I can wait. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Here are a few tips to always getting diagnostic mammograms. When you call to schedule, say you are having pain or think you found a lump. Boom, diagnostic mammogram is selected.
Schedule for early in the day because the ultrasound folks go home early if there isn’t a diagnostic scheduled. You don’t want to have a screening mammogram late in the day, find something and have to come back because they went home.5 -
@eleanora, keep the hearing aids for your benefit.
My Dad has refused to get hearing aids for over 2 decades and though I love him deeply, it really gets old knowing he could do something about it but won’t. This is going to sound harsh, but what happens is people stop trying to include him. He has missed out on so much because of his own ego about being seen wearing them. Don’t let that happen to you. Live your life. Participate in your life. Don’t miss the sound of birds and wind. You can always take them off when your DH makes you mad. ;)3 -
Been that route nd it makes me want to grab people and scream at them about how simple their job is. Sheesh!
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Thanks for the response. I know you're right, in that I will be punishing myself. I have a 6 month return policy for the hearing aids. May go back and see if they have any that are smaller or in a skin color as opposed to metallics. I'm not usually a self-pitier, but his comment and poor attitude came at a time when I am physically (bad bout of diverticulitis) and emotionally (multiple family issues) exhausted and giving up and hiding seemed like the easiest choice. The incident was several days ago and the prick has yet to apologize.
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The early stage people should not be slighted by MO and if you are being made to feel that way you need a better one if you ask me. Mine was good no matter what. They were very concerned about the cancer of it coming back at some point. Even if you think it is all gone and done all you should and the surgery and meds you should there is still a chance once you have it there is something in there to get you again. They have already been watching places on my non cancer side already. Stay on them and you are your best advocate.
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@eleanora, You go girl! I have a friend who for wears the teeny tiniest hearing aids that can even connect to her TV and be used like a phone headset. She listens to podcasts just like the millennials and gen-whatevers do these days. It’s amazing what they can do with hearing aids and wireless headphones. I see people every day walking around with their earbuds while they walk around multitasking their work and life. It’s really not the stigma it used to be. I hope you find a style that really suits you.
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DH has blue tooth in his and connect to his cell phone and when he walks the dog listens to Pandora music in his year. He also won't disturb the neighbors with his music playing somewhere as he walks. He loves them.
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Just tried to call to schedule again for my mamo on non cancer side and ultrasound to be done and of course the referral is still not there. Another message to get it sent again one more time. No one can seem to do their jobs or care how it affect anyone worried about doing screening on schedule and staying on top of things right now.
/ am so worried about cancer patients as well right now with the cuts going on to healthcare in the government right now. They also cutting back on vaccines which is also bad and hurts our health and puts us more at risk who are more at risk with our lymph nodes taken out and weekend systems. Makes me want to stay inside and not go anywhere right now in public again if can help it. Like they do not seem to care if we all die right now up there since he let an anti vaxxer take over the health department.
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@kathrynw1thasea and @bcincolorado
Thanks so much for the encouragement! BC, I wish you didn't live so far away, as I'm also feeling wary of public exposure. We could form a "protected bubble" of those who are careful about exposure and still be able to socialize. I agree that there seems to be increased indifference to the health risks for the immune compromised. I am as careful as possible, staying up to date on all vaccines and masking in crowded places, and have so far managed to avoid covid, but it could happen any day.
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Same here. DH has a transplant so very immune suppressed all the time so we were always careful before my BC diagnosis. Then we were even worse. DD who is a teacher and lives out of State she and her husband who is a pastor always test before they come down even though they are protected and careful and distant from people.
Please need to be considerate of everyone and you never know what someone else is going though either. Seems some of the younger generation is so rude as well and no manners at all.
We can even order our groceries if we wanted to do that. Have done it before. They leave them on the porch and then leave and then you can get them when they are gone. There is something about picking out your own fruit and veggies though.
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So ticked off, My neighbor was spraying something to kill weeds in his yard today and caused flies ans the mosquitos to flee from his yard into mine. I got bit by a mosquito at least four times! This isnt the first time it happened and I am fed up!
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I totally agree with the need for people to be more aware of immunocompromised people and just plain common sense about infectious diseases. Our world had changed with the Covid pandemic. I had high hopes that the public awareness would remain permanent but you are correct, people have gotten complacent. Not all people of course, but enough to make our lives difficult. I wear a mask with a valve that allows me to breathe easier and avoid foggy glasses. If I’m feeling sick I switch back to the KN95 without the valve to protect anyone I must come in contact with. I’ve only had a few incidents where I’ve responded to an insensitive person by telling them that “wearing a mask is not a political statement for me. I’m immunocompromised and have to protect myself”. That usually makes them uncomfortable and some even apologize.
I have a couple of friends who act as a little circle of protection for me when we are in crowded situations. The idea of forming a safety bubble is fabulous!2 -
Here we go again! Yesterday the hubby said we were going to be getting steps for our dog and it was supposed to be today. The store where we saw them last didnt have them today and at the time they had them at another store not far from here. He farted around all day and when i checked to see if the dog steps were at other stores in the area all of them by that time were out. So now the dog goes without once again because moron decided to play dumb and stupid!
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@m0mmyof3 let me preface this by saying that I am not married, but I have watched my mother, sisters, and dearest best friend let their husbands fart around with decisions and make the same damn mistake over an over. After years of watching my mother do this and to make a long story short, I convinced her to use her royalties money to buy the car she wanted instead of waiting on my Dad who took 5 years to buy his truck. I’m not kidding, 5 years!. Her argument had been she shouldn’t spend “their money” without his consent. Well, the royalties are only hers, not community property. Problem solved. She got her car.
I’ll bet Amazon can send you those dog stairs in less than a week. Again, I am not married and my former fiance often complained that I made decisions too quickly. I’m an architect, time is money and in my profession, wasting time is a liability.2 -
My turn to vent about a tangentially related issue. My parents insist on aging at home and 3 to 6 hours away from me and my 2 younger sisters. There are sibling dynamics that complicate the situation, but long story short, the youngest sister has chosen to martyr herself as their primary source of transportation to the more complex medical visits for only my dad. Mom is in denial about her cognitive decline in spite of both her mother and brother having Alzheimer’s. Dad is the son of a surgeon and surgical nurse and like preachers kids, he is a doctor’s worst nightmare.
Our middle sister pretty much keeps her mouth closed and doesn’t want to be involved in conflict. Our youngest sister has always had the feeling that she wasn’t given the same attention we got because she was always in trouble. She lied constantly, often broke the very lenient rules our parents set and never appreciated the things our parents did for us because she expected to be treated like the wealthier friends we grew up around. That sets the stage…mostly.
I’m estranged from our youngest because of her attitude towards my chemotherapy and prohibiting me from having access to the $12k quilting machine my mother bought for us and specifically for me to use during my treatment. It was located at sister’s house and she said my chemotherapy was hazardous to her health.
Okay TMI,
So today she group texts us about dad’s latest Dr appointments regarding the edema in his legs. Dad is resisting the recommended options and not understanding that the solution is not one single thing but a combination of things that work together. So I text some recommendations and get shot down on every single one. My sister’s text responses are thinly veiled but the message is clear… butt out and let me handle this.
I’ve been dealing with lymphedema for years so I know a little bit about how to handle chronic swelling. I realize that I am short on patience right now because I’m in so much pain with my current sciatica mystery, but I’m just so annoyed by the dismissive attitude of my sister. I’ve tried to get the 3 of us to act together to get our parents the best possible in home resources so they can remain in their home as they wish, but I get pushback every time I recommend anything.Thanks for listening. Just needed to get it off my chest.
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Kathryn, you sound a bit like me with my family. My parents only really want anything to do with me and my hubby when they want something, like money, which we don't give to anyone. Mom is mad at me for it and treats my hubby like dirt, even though he has been through the worst with me and she knows it.
Hubby and i did get the steps, now its just get our dog used to them.
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My in laws lived near her 5 brothers and their families and her mom in the same time after he had retired from the military . The brothers would come over and mooch dinner and feel they could just come over when they wanted and they did not have enough money to feed everyone at that point either. They ended up cutting them off pretty much and would not take their phone calls. After a bit they got the hint they were not welcome there.
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Kathryn, so sorry about all the sibling issues. And not relieving stress by quilting (my passion) would drive me nuts. Can't you just lie and say you finished chemo? And does she have to be in the room while you quilt?
I have issues with my sisters too. Oldest birthday today and youngest texted her a short greeting. YAY!. First contact in years.
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@gailmary , Well, I wrote a rather long response with lots of historical information but it doesn’t seem to have been captured. The short story is that this all happened 3 years ago, but no, I couldn’t lie about the chemo schedule because my sister had been supportive and involved in the journey with me up to the point at which I was to begin chemo and my mother bought us the long arm which was to be installed at my sister’s house.
I believe that it was my brother-in-law who has weird ideas about diseases who didn’t want me there during my treatment. I think my sister didn’t want anyone to know that he was saying and thinking things like “you contaminate everything you touch” and “cancer is contagious”. He is also very strict about there needing to be one of them present if a member of the extended family is in the house and nobody but the 4 of them have keys.
I live 20 minutes away and the $12k long arm was supposed to be jointly owned. I have never used it. My sister has declared that it belongs to her and only her.1 -
Cancer is contagious is crazy. That is not even logical. Do they have phobias or something about germs and if so they need mental help if you ask me and you need to stay away from them for your own mental health.
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If cancer was contagious, it would have wiped out everyone any of us ever came in contact with! Some people are so uneducated!
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I have been around so many who have had different cancers over the year and other things wrong them. Some people are afraid of doctors at all which only makes them more prone to being sick and dying young than others who are good patients and do what they should.
I am person who hates shots and needles. Still get my shots and things when need them and do my labs and everything when needed. Does not mean I don't still get upset and sometimes cry about things. Does not make me stay away from grandkids and other family either.
they are sensitive enough though if anyone is sick at all no one comes over at all. They know people here are immune issues in our house.
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I am terrified of needles too! You would think after cancer and the surgeries and all been though over the years would not so scared but sure are! Can faint when getting blood draws even and have to go in the recliner chair they have in the lab instead so my head is down some. You would think cancer patients would get over it but not all us do. I am still a good patient though and do what docs tell me to.
My mom lives in a senior building and even though vax not everyone is and if she is out of her apartment even to go get her mail or do her laundry she masks up. they have already had cases of the new COVID in t he building and she makes us aware before we go over there to see her if someone has been infected there since they are all notified and we stay away.
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Already seeing pink everywhere. People do not need to be reminded of cancer all time every year and makes me hate October now.
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DITTO!
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Got a pink t shirt from a former boss. I know she lost her mom to BC years ago so now every year she feels the need to send me something. Of course is almost always something that does not fit my now marred body with more weight than when worked with her or something so awful and offensive to me sure would not use. Knowing she is trying to be kind and supportive since she knows of my history since had surgeries when working there can't be too insulting. It is hard to say do not send me pink stuff anymore!!! I have gotten some nice flowers before though that were nice one year though and enjoyed them. They are fake ones and use them in the spring and a pretty scarf to use that has some pink and red and white in there and not all pink. It is the pink and the books about people who have died from cancer do not like. Also shirts with things on them would not wear.
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@bcincolorado maybe you could tell her that you appreciate her continuing support, but that you really do not need those things and would love it if she'd donate to research for a cure instead.
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Just try to ignore he mostly. Knowing she lost her mom to cancer and is trying to be supportive and do not see her often can easily not try to hurt her either saying these gifts are not my thing. Maybe for family members o something it is ok but not for a cancer patient. Did not mind the flowers though at all and got that pretty scarf still have and actually use in the spring around a spring sweater accent or something on my shoulders. She won't even know how it makes it me feel and end up either donating it and someone else may chose to wear it or something. The kids who are grown do donations at this point though. We told them long ago we do not need stuff at this point and do donations for birthdays and holiday gifts.
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