STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

New to this thread. I'm angry because I went through this shit at 40. I'm angry that I have to take AI for 10 years and the side effects are awful. I'm angry I turned to alcohol to help me cope and now I'm scared I've turned into an addict. I'm livid that my friends have died from This. I'm livid my friends have recurrences with horrible prognosis.

I'm just so fucking angry.

klrtts3p  so sorry you are going through this and reach out for support and there are others going in treatment right now who can help as well with side effects and best things that can help. Walking and friends to walk with can also be good as well and good support as well. Do things to support mental health as well. Cancer can play a number on both body and mind.

Cancer is bad and even as you get through things there is a fear of it coming back again to get you again and people you know who had worse outcomes as well. The support of others is what helps and trying to distract with the nicer things in life and so you can get your mind off it for a bit helps.

Have you tried taking melatonin? Works well for me at least and can get some rest now when my mind is racing and bothers me. I also now have started to sleep with a ceiling fan all the time now in the bedroom. DH is not happy sometimes but he can get under the covers if he needs to and often I have them off and under the fan at night sometimes but can often get at least 5 hours straight now.

oh no ctmbsikia

That is terrible to deal with that at this point. I am on a Medicare PPO and works well for me and covers my screening well here and my MO takes it as well. Hope works out for you and know it is stress right now.

Also heard about them now taking back box warnings off meds for menopause drugs. Of course we all know those thinks put people more at risk for other cancers and heart issues as well. But of course the drug makers pushed them to get the warnings off of there since only 5% of women were taking them now because of the risks. This administration does not care about women's health at all if you ask me and it is not political to ask someone to take better care of someone and watch out for the meds that are being prescribed properly. Once more women are dying of cancer they will wake up.

@ctmbsikia your post really caught my attention. I too will be 65 in the last quarter of 2026. Is age related insurance even legal? I thought the whole idea of group policies were to average the costs over a wide variety of ages and conditions.
I’ll still be working next year and for an undetermined number of years. Right now my premiums only add up to just under $1,000 for the year and about $6,000 max out of pocket for both drugs and medical stuff. I’m wondering what my costs will be on Medicare. Does anyone know if it’s typically better to stay on a company subsidized insurance plan?

I really hope the current powers that be will live up to their “promise” to hold a vote in December on the ACA subsidies so we can see just how serious (or not) they are about addressing the issue of healthcare. For anyone on an ACA Marketplace plan, my prayers are with you. I was once self-employed and had to rely on the Marketplace plans without qualifying for subsidies. It was brutal! Almost $1,000 a month and that was over 5 years ago. I can only imagine what it would cost now.

We have to advocate for ourselves and raise our voices in peaceful productive ways. Write and call your representatives regardless of which side of the aisle you or they are on. We have strength in numbers.

@dimples90 $2,000 a month? That’s $24,000 a year! I’d sure like to know how much mor in taxes the French, Italians and Canadians pay in comparison to our taxes and premiums. Not to mention our deductible and out off pocket max. That would be $30,000 a year for me if I was able to keep my same coverage. That’s outrageous!

July31, you are not the only one who has experienced this feeling during and post-treatment. I hated every minute of the 30 radiation treatments, the 2 lumpectomies and the staff who felt that I should ring the bell after my last radiation session. I did not ring that bell because I did not want the sound of a bell in the future to trigger all the traumas I had endured. My MO was my salvation. She let me vent, cry and never lied to me as my BS and RO had. I still see her once a year. I had SE from 2 of the AI's (the 3rd one was the charm) and finished 7 years because I had ILC as well as IDC and DCIS. DCIS at a very slim margin after 2 lumpectomies for the same mass meant I received the maximum radiation dose with boosts to the margin.

It has been almost 10 years since I was dx and it does get better. I was very selective in who was told about my dx and did not tell co-workers because I did not want to deal with their comments, no matter how well meaning they were. I am not sure of who you may have discussed this dx with, but it seems you are steeling yourself for questions and comments.

Please feel free to reach out to others on this site who can offer support and advice. There are so many wonderful women on here who can identify with how you feel, so you are not alone. Be aware that well-meaning people can say ridiculous, ill-informed, and uneducated comments. You will find a way to deal with them, but just remember this has happened to you and only you can determine the impact it will have on the rest of your life. Don't dwell on the what "if's". It will take time for you to adjust to this new norm that no one ever wanted, but be kind to yourself. One day at a time. ((HUGS))

july31 hang in there. Do your meds and follow up stuff and hopefully you have no recurrence. I managed no chemo with mine but have had a few scares with scans as well now. Where go for mine they at least read them when there and report to me before leave so not waiting for results to come and worry which they know we do. Best wishes to you.

@july31 Younare definitely not alone. I didn’t ring the bell either. I went through chemo during Covid and had a different nurse on the last day. If I’d had the same nurse who had gotten me through the rough spots, maybe I would’ve done. But I knew I had 7 or 8 weeks of radiation ahead of me, so it didn’t feel like being finished with anything.

I have never liked the term “survivor” for exactly the same reason. We have made it through active treatment. We may or may not have “survived” cancer. I prefer the term “warrior”. A very good friend, who is about 4 years ahead of me in this battle, suggested that term instead. I feel it’s definitely more appropriate. Yes, most if not all of us go through a “what the f just happened?” phase upon completion of “active treatment”. It takes a while to wrap your head around the emotions you have experienced and are about to experience. It does get better, but it will continue to sneak into your head.
I wish I had better advice than this for dealing with people who know about it. Try to give them grace. They care about you, but that doesn’t mean you have to be overly accommodating. Tell them how you feel and what you’d rather they do. Not everyone will understand. I have learned the hard way that people will surprise you (good and bad) in how they cope with the news. I don’t blame you for keeping it quiet. I wish I’d kept it a little more to myself. I’ve lost friends and family over it. I’ve also learned that there were people who really stepped up and helped me through. If you ever want a place for realtime discussion, the Bonded By Breast Cancer zoom meetings are a good place to laugh, cry, and just hear what others have experienced. The Friday group tends to be smaller and more intimate than the Monday nights, but both are great when you need to just talk to someone who actually gets it.

Hang in there. You are definitely not alone.

@luckyladyinpa My sister and another person kept sending me info on this wonderful tea that was going to strengthen my immune system or something. 1 minute of research showed that people with breast cancer should not use it. I sent them links to the articles saying this, they still insisted I try it, after that I just skimmed their comments all while calling them idiots and other choice words. I finally told them that I appreciated their help but my doctor told me avoid all of that sort of stuff in case it interfered with my medicine. I never asked him but, of course, if the doctor said it they respected his opinion.🙄

The ability of people to formulate weird ideas about cancer and the treatment thereof, is truly remarkable.

My sister, who lives 20 minutes from me told me I had to stay away from her for the first 72 hours after my chemo infusions because they were somehow a threat to her mysterious health condition she refused to explain. She had gone through treatment for hyperthyroidism a year or so before (radioactive iodine). The issue for me was that our mother had purchased a $12,000 long arm quilting machine for us to share and to help me deal with the mental side of months of chemo and radiation. The only days I had enough energy to use the machine were the 3 days of steroid treatment after chemo infusion. To this day, I have never used the machine and I still don’t know what this mysterious condition was that went against all medical knowledge of my treatment team and the endocrinologist I consulted to try to understand. I believe the truth is that her husband did not want me around. He has some strange ideas and beliefs and I could see them concocting a story that wasn’t well researched.
The emotional impact of the situation has affected our family in such a negative way. I am estranged from my sister, my niece and obviously my brother-in-law. My nephew has stayed neutral but like his generation, he isn’t in touch with extended family. The toll this disease takes on our bodies, minds, and relationships is frustrating to say the least.

I am sorry how this affected your family and they are not offerings support when you need them most. Not like it is catching at all. Not sure if they do not know how to react or what but with serious health issues seems like in every family there is someone who just can't deal with things and want to ignore things.