My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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  • threetree
    threetree Posts: 2,440

    @sf-cakes - wishing you a very Happy Birthday 🎂🍾! I also want to send you a belated thank you for your birthday wishes to me last week. I'm just not always up on things and timely with messages these days, but the thoughts are indeed heartfelt.

  • eleanora
    eleanora Posts: 484

    @sf-cakes

    Happy Happy Birthday!

  • irishlove
    irishlove Posts: 707
    edited December 28

    Hi everyone. Hope that this note finds peace and pain free days. @sf-cakes Belated Happy Birthday. Your cake looked gorgeous. Bet it was yummy, too. @intolight Prayers that your treatment kicks as* and you will enjoy many Christmases to come. @shanagirl Families are certainly complicated. Your meal sounded so delicious and a partner in the kitchen, what a pair you two make. @cookie54 Oh what a frightening thing to happen to your nephew on Christmas. He sounds young and healthy so hopefully he will heal quickly and be back to his old self. DH went thru this last year. He did develop an infection so had to return for another minor surgery. He's doing well for a 79 yr. old.

    DD is still here. She hasn't attempted to get the DGD moving. That child was up all night and fell asleep at noon. I wish I could say this is the exception but it's not. No school, no parental controls over her phone and tablet. . DGD can't concentrate, hates loud sounds and needs help. Public school did nothing to help. We want to try private school but if she won't listen to us, well she won't listen to a teacher. Needs mental health and physical eval, perhaps on the autistic scale? DD had a spontaneous colon death 7 weeks after her baby was born (only child). She was visiting us in Boone and was so sick that she went by ambulance to the hospital. She was airlifted to Winston-Salem Baptist hospital and the surgeon saved her life. He removed a large area of necrotic intestines, attached a iliostomy bag and stitched back up from under her breast bone down to her pubic bone. 85% mortality rate. A lot of prayers from so many and we received a miracle. Since then it's been difficult for her. But no excuse with how she's raising her child or treats her parents. She doesn't work either so financial aide is from the bank of dad and mom. Lovely husband, works hard but just not enough income and she announced they are separated recently (her idea). He lives in the camper and wants his family back and we need her to move back. Awful tired of doing everything for them when we both suffer cancer and minimum retirement funds. Do love them all truly, just need a break….

    @mara51506 Hope you are eating better and not attempting to lay salt. Just no worth it. I too will light a candle for you and pray and be in your pocket from now until you are healed.

    My wishes for all those in Mel's room is for a healthy and happy New Year. So many drugs in the pipeline and surely we will find one that works for us.

    Irishlove

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222

    @cookie54 I am sorry to hear about your nephew and the unknown reason for seizures and being found unresponsive, I am in all of your pockets a cause is found soon and he pulls out soon as well.

    @irishlove I am sorry so much is falling on the shoulders of your husband and you when it comes to DD and DGD. You both need to watch how much money is given out as she will not be able to help you in return. Wonder if finding different services to help her out would be more helpful than money. Any way you slice it, I am in your pockets including DH, DD and DGD. Sending you a big supportive hug.

    Not too much happening here, big garbage day, sloppy as ice is melting down, could be slippery, need to be careful. Ordered ice salt from amazon, walmart was sold out, not surprised by that. It is coming today. Also accidentally dropped humidifier breaking a piece out which seems to be necessary to run it, bought a new one as I truly do like the humidifier. Need to be more careful next time and already bought another one.

    Not sure about food, thinking a yogurt, banana and apple sauce put in the magic bullet, bit of water and a fruit punch mio packet as well. I may also add some lentils to the mix as well, uncooked as well, I will see. I still have laundry to get through and boxes to break down and if unsafe outside, will have to find a place to store stuff as not taking a chance of a fall. I will see what happens. May apply cleats, I will see. We are supposed to have a flash freeze here and damaging winds on Monday. Yuck and more yuck, parking lot in back as ice and water to deal with too. My thing is too keep safe, front area looks better than the back area too. Weather on Tues is just snow flurries which is good. If all else fails, two spiked canes with cleats would give a lot of traction.

    Have a good day, I am in pockets for everyone and families that need support as well.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222
    edited December 29

    I have also realized that if I have a ton of laundry to dry, would make sense to dry in both living room and bedroom as they are on opposite plugs. Pulled the heater off one side table and building in the living room and use either convential dryer or the one that hangs up. Only real difference, one blows heat up and bedroom one blows heat down to hanging items, would get stuff done faster.

    I have also decided to make crispy lentils along with hashbrowns in the air fryer first, could also make an egg in there. Although microwave makes a quick egg, I like the crunch the air fryer supplies.

    The crispy lentils, 1/2 cup worth and a couple of eggs with garlic salt on bottom of the air fryer made for an excellent crunch, I put two 4 min timers, stirred in between. Put into a bowl. I then baked a hashbrown, 4 mins each side, came out perfect. Added to lentils and eggs when finished cooking it. Added mayo, white cheddar seasoning, sour cream and onion seasoning and some salt. Mixed it all and OMG, it was delicious. I really did enjoy it. Tonight I will try lentils in my magic bullet yogurt, banana and some applesauce, add a bit of water and pack of fruit punch mio powder. Should taste quite good.

    I did make up a smoothie that contained 1/4 cup lentils, banana, yogurt, jello and mio powder, fruit punch flavour. I could not detect the lentils at all, the mio drowns out all other tastes in the smoothie and that is good.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222

    Well, after hemming and hawing all day regarding taking the garbage out, decided to skip it for today as it looks quite icy out front and not looking for a fall. I will salt the walk tomorrow and earlier on Tuesday as I have a CT and final meeting with neurosurgeon. Week off then have the surgery day.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222

    @cookie54 Yeah, I can store stuff til I can get it out safely. Got plenty of ice melter, planning to put some down as I will need things cleared up. The other consideration was all the rain we had yesterday as we were 10 degrees above freezing and now are frozen so there will be ice under the snow.

    Nothing on agenda beyond getting through dishes, stowing garbage elsewhere, got the boxes they can go in til the next gargage pickup in two weeks. I also have a fair bit of laundry to get through. Debating on getting another humidifier, I had the one I have fall off the table it was stored on and spill the entire load of water, a piece broke off inside so the current one. Will not replace it at this point unless start coughing again which is unlikely.

    No really weird food today, probably crisp up the lentils in fridge with a couple of eggs, Could also go down to one egg, heat up burrito, cut in half, crisp the outside a bit as well. I will see what I want to do. I do like taking shorter cycles now in the air fryer. Have the banana smoothie before supper and supper can be a simple tortilla with peanut butter. I have a lot of options. I am also going to put in small Walmart order to pick up some peanut butter granola bars to have after the CT.

    I am getting closer to surgery day which is good, spend some days in hospital, I am guessing 5 due to the day of week surgery is. I will have staples to contend with as neurosurgeon tends to use those. Doubt I can wear wigs until staples are removed. That is OK. Once I am done with surgery at the other hospital and released, DB and SIL should have a break for a bit as appointments return to regular hospital.

    I do hope all have a good day, in pockets for all as well, anyone who was affected by the freezing rain, stay safe as well.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222

    I found one of my frozen macaroni beef meals in the fridge, decided to have that instead of lentils and a bunch of other stuff and it tastes good.

  • threetree
    threetree Posts: 2,440

    @shanagirl - Thanks so much for sharing that story about your daughter. It's both inspirational and motivational. Good for her! We can overcome a lot of these difficulties in life for sure, and that's a blessing indeed. Sleep well, after your day at the hospital. My day is Wednesday.

  • micmel
    micmel Posts: 10,108

    merry Christmas ladies. I hope everyone had a great time with the ones you love. Or a quiet calm day to relax and think of happy memories. I had a blast with my family. Gabbie is amazing. Only two more chemos left. I’m so happy. It’s been since October she’s been battling 2024. I just want her to be able to put this behind her. I’m thinking if you all. Brothers being safe, progressions. People getting the flu. Just in general overall wellness. I care deeply. It’s been a rough year. I hope for us all that new year will be filled with happiness and peace for everyone. Love to all.
    hello Shana. Tanya. Threetree, Sfcakes,Irish, Mae,Chicagoan. Cookie,

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222

    @threetree @shanagirl @micmel I am in your pockets, sending you some energy and healing thoughts.

    I have last couple of appointments before surgery on Jan 7th. Got a body CT scan and final consult and info. That is fine by me, the sooner this happens the sooner DB and SIL are off the hook when I transition back to my regular hospital appointments.

    My body wanted to keep me up, I kept myself fed until I had to cut off the food. Hope it does not take as long but that does not matter too much.

    My body did not want me to sleep so ate food up to 4 hours before CT appointment, had two meals between 10 and 445. I find that if insomnia is a factor, need to eat and feel better that way.

    Once I get home, see how energetic I am feeling. For now, just getting some towels and blankets washed up, may also wash pajamas up and change of clothes for leaving hospital after surgery.

    I am not sure what to eat when arrive home, thinking some crispy lentils and eggs, those were delicious. I did add lentils to my banana smoothie and did not detect them at all which is cool. Might stick with lentils and black beans, they are both so good in the air fryer and go well with eggs and rice. I will see, hospital usually leaves me hungry.

    I do hope all have a good day, in pockets for everyone as all. In my own to have patience with all the extra appointments and getting that nonsense taken care of. Only thing that will suck is having to wear scarves instead of my wigs as my neurosurgeon uses staples. I will see later.

  • Shana - great story about your daughter. We all have a road to walk but each path is different. So wonderful that she found her success!

  • threetree
    threetree Posts: 2,440

    @mara51506 - Hey thanks for the good wishes for @shanagirl , @micmel , and myself. You know I am in your pocket too and really sending out the good vibes to help ensure that all goes super well with your upcoming surgery and recovery. I'm really impressed with your seemingly calm and steady approach to the whole thing. Your careful and well thought planning about what to eat, what to wear, and the impact on your brother and sister in law. You've got it all covered so well. I really don't think I could do the same. Know that I care and am thinking about you big time these days. I really admire your courage. Sending a hug too.

  • micmel
    micmel Posts: 10,108

    I agree Mara is strong and an amazing person!

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Posts: 7,222

    @threetree @micmel Thank you for your comments, I do have some emotions but for now, just one step at a time. All presurgery appointments and scans are done now. I am seeing MO as well before the surgery and that will be on the 7th. I am also happy to have DB help but want to get to the point that he can deal with his life and SIL as well, their lives have a lot going on for them so the sooner I can be less time consuming, the better for them. DB is kind and told me I do not need to be too brave and let myself feel what I want whenever. I said thank you. I am not worried particularly about the surgery though am aware I am 10 years older, not sure if that will make any difference but will find out.

    As far as today, still got some laundry and decisions to make for next meal, probably want to air fry some lentils, a hash brown and an egg for dinner. Thinking of taking a bag of chips, grind them up and use as a dry seasoning. If deciding on a simpler meal, microwave egg and seasoning and eat off a tortilla. If it is super interesting will post.

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Posts: 588
    edited December 30

    OOOHHHH WOW‼️😳🥶 IT’S COLDER THAN A WITCH’S TIT OUT THERE. 🌬️💨THE WIND IS BLOWING GOT THE FIREPLACE GOING AND SITTING HERE IN THE FAMILY ROOM WATCHING TV JUST SCROLLING THE CHANNELS. SO I THOUGHT I’D CHECK IN WITH EVERYONE.

    @mara51506 I’LL BE HANGING OUT IN YOUR POCKET TILL EVERYTHING RESOLVES FOR YOU AND YOU CAN GET BACK TO YOUR REGULAR ROUTINE. STAY WARMED. AND KEEP OFF THE ICE.

    @micmel HI . I’M GLAD FOR GABBY LOOKING AT HER LAST 2 CHEMO’S. THAT’S GREAT. 😁

    @sf-cakes

    @threetree @intolight @irishlove @illimae @chicagoan @eleanora @candy-678 @mara51506 @cookie54 @micmel @goldensrbest @tougholdcrow @xsuzx @norah2024 @mkestrelAND ALL YOU OTHERS I LIKE TO VISIT WITH OVER ON THEBONE METS FORUM I WANT TO SAY THAT THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN HARD FOR SO MANY OF US AND WE HAVE SURVIVED ANOTHER YEAR. AND HERE WE ARE CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAYS WITH FAMILY & FRIENDS DINNERS WITH FUN AND LAUGHTER AS WELL AS FAMILY DIFFICULTIES AND SOME DRAMA SOMETIMES BUT WE ARE ALL HERE TO CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR AGAIN WITH OUR LOVE ONES. THAT IS A BLESSING AND I WANTED TO TRY AND TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM SOMETHING I READ OVER THE WEEKEND AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL. I SAVED IT TO MY PHOTOS👇

    IMG_4073.jpeg

    I DONT REALLY LIKE TO ALLOW MY FRIENDS AND REALTIVES AND FAMILY TO SEE ME AS THE IDENTIFIED CANCER PATIENT. I DON’T ALLOW MYSLEF TO APPEAR SICK OR DEPRESSED OR EVEN WITHOUT MAKEUP AND BEING DRESSED UP AND WILLING TO DO THINGS WITH THEM. THE ONLY ONE I ALLOW TO SEE ME AS THE CANCER PATIENT IS DH. HE KNOWS BECAUSE HE’S LIVED IT WITH ME AND SUPPORTED ME DURING MY MOST DOWN AND FEARFUL TIMES. SO EEN DURING THIS NEW YEAR MY GOAL IS TO NOT LET THIS ILLNESS DELL IN MY CONCIOUSNESS. I KNOW IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ME AND I WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO SHARE MY UPS AND DOWNS HERE WITH YOU ALL. AND TODAY FOLLOWING TREATMENT YESTERDAY I GOT UP AND RESSED AND PUT MY SKINCRE AND LIPSTICK ON SO I COULD MENTALLY FEEL NORMAL AND LOOK NORMAL FOR HIM AND MY FAMILY. THAT IS MY GOAL FOR NEW YEAR IN 2026, EVEN IF MY UPCOMING SCANS IN THE WEEK AHEAD SHOW ANY NEW PROGRESSION. SO HAPPY NEW YEAR 🥳 TO YOU ALL. I LOVE YOU.🥰♥️🩵

  • threetree
    threetree Posts: 2,440

    @shanagirl - Shana, that is all absolutely lovely and I totally understand and agree with what you are talking about. You are so right about how we have all made it through another year, had Christmas with our loved ones, and can start out a new year, with new hope and perspective. Thank you so much for all of that and a big Happy New Year back to you!

  • chicagoan
    chicagoan Posts: 1,409

    @shanagirl Love that advice.

  • intolight
    intolight Posts: 2,885

    @shanagirl Those are good words and I need to hear them. So many days I just don't want to take the effort but I know how much better I feel when I do more than just get dressed.

    I am a little discouraged because I expected to feel better being off all meds for a couple of weeks but unfortunately not. Time to dig through the "stash" to see if something else is making me feel so tired and poorly.

    I join in the pocket list for support for all of you sweet ladies praying through the posts as I read them, especially for Mara and her surgery.