My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

@mara51506 Be safe going out for appts. Lots if reporting of ice and snowy condition with horrible winds. My sis is without electricity since noon. I'm worried about her and her 5 kitties. She doesn't drive, so no chance of leaving the house. Neighbors are in the same predicament.

@micmel oh what good news, the count down with 2 treatments to go and then she can start working on putting this all behind her.

@shanagirl Wonderful advice indeed. Your little gal sure grew into her abilities and stretched her horizons. I always hate labels on children. I know it can bring special help for those that need it, but wouldn't it be kinder to bring that help without separation in classrooms and reminders on a daily basis?

@cookie54 Still praying and holding your nephew in our thoughts for recovery. It's so sad for someone so young but know he has fight in him and will overcome.

@threetree In your pocket for Wednesday.

@intolight Is it possible this severe weather is playing havoc with your health. We may not be as blustery as you are, but it's down to 37, feels like 29 and I think I'm still living in FLA. lol

The kids are still here as DH and I know it's too cold in their camper. No insulation and the heater is pretty minimal btu. I fixed a roast the other day and turned the leftovers into vegetable beef soup. Just added diced tomatoes, extra carrots, beef broth, little round potatoes, onion and bit more pepper. With sourdough butter bread and flan for desert, it warmed up our bellies. I spent hours bringing in plants and wrapping up those that I couldn't bring in. Hoping beyond hope that poor gardenia (my favorite flower) makes it.

@intolight Thank you for the support. I am wavering between being alright with it for the most part and some sadness in having to have it but I will survive. I want to avoid ICU and work on getting out of hospital as quick as possible, willing those things into existence. As far as non wig wear, figure winter hats would do well, have to wear acarf all year round a hat would be fine until staples come out, if staples are not used, still just wear a hat.

I had a weird dream while dozing on the couch yesterday. It was a lady hollering at other people at the home depot but she kept repeating herself, turned out to be a youtube short video featuring that lady that kept repeating itself and she was at the airport. Thought that was weird.

Cleaning up the house, especially sink in kitchen, I am bad about tossing packaging and cans in there and even though I rinse them of food, it is a mess to deal with, working on laundry, I have not fully cleaned up the mess and still have stuff waiting on the other washer. Setting schedules for both sink and laundry I want done. I also want to pull out the litterbox and do a big sweep sometime before the hospital. I am going to ask DB and or SIL not to worry about a heavy clean, just to take care of the box and feeding but I do want them to have the supplies they need and no need to move about the couch. ,

I did order the same air humidifier that broke due to me dropping it, I dropped the old one 3 times at least which sucked but I notice a difference in the air. It arrives Jan 3, will dispose of or find another use like a lamp that changes colour. I will see.

I am in the middle of washing blankets, bout halfway through sink so I will start breakfast. Have lentils, some chia seeds and eggs for the crunch. Put little bit of cooking sdi Option 2 still sees lentils, chia seeds and an egg but also fry up a cheese pattie in there. Going to see about doing the cheese patty first and get timing down first. Another option is to get the diced potato pieces, that would be good in the air fryer.

Did a wee order of stuff from walmart, spent 25.00 though did pay 7.97 for a below 35 dollar fee, the total on groceries at the 35 minimum always creeps to 50 instead. I treat this like skip the dishes but with more nutrition.

I hope all have a good New Years and in pocket for everyone else. My cats do not particularly get along but throught it was worth a picture showing them side by side on my ottoman.

@mara51506 ,i love the kitty picture. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you just want to put this all behind you and that drive within you will get you through it. Sending you upbuilding positive vibes while I hang out in your pocket.😘🌷Wishing and all here a very Happy New Year, with good things to come in

@shanagirl Thank you for the uplifting post, we all need a recharge to boost our spirits!

@mara51506 Aww love the kitty pic together. Even though they don't always get along I'm sure they do like the company.Still glued in your pocket and praying for a smooth successful surgery. Big hugs.

@irishlove Your soup sounds perfect for the unusual cold weather you're having. Oh how nice to have a fancy celebration to look forward to! I sure hope you go, you and DH could really use a nice night out. Fingers crossed.Good luck with all your flowers.

@intolight Sorry you're still feeling crummy! Sending healing vibes and hugs your way for resolution.

@micmel So glad to hear Gabby only has 2 treatments left, Amen!!! May this new year bring healing to your family.

Good news with my nephew he as been making progress. Next step will be inpatient rehab, he has cognitive issues and we pray he will recover with intense therapy. Thanks for your well wishes.

Hi and Happy New Year to all my sisters here. May your year be filled with more joy and less struggles❣️

Well, sleepless night last night, think I am trading stress about the surgery and transferring it to being unable to keep up with the mess in the apartment. Letting the sink be dirty or not making the bed for instance creates a high anxiety load for me. Too much stuff in a wee apartment and the amount of stuff around is nuts.

I have papers to sign for medical power of attorney, my will and regular power of attorney with DB and SIL. I called her to let her know my plight because she is a no nonsense person who can and definitely will tell me to smarten up and chunk up chores. Boxes alone eat up floor space, need to get rid of useless stuff. I am getting rid of the instant pot, I've used it once, will put in the hallway where I found it and go back to regular cooking or air fryer instead, I love the heck out of that for sure. Put a free note so someone picks it up and may put the groceries I picked up in as I will place a note that says free on there.

Yesterday made the crunchiest meal ever, diced potatoes and lentils, added them with garlic and other seasonings and it was really good. I do have a new rule now which is get through the food I have and not to buy duplicates, use up KD noodles and do not buy ANYTHING else extra like a new gadget or whatever.

In the meantime, I hope all have a happy new year's day and in pockets for all, in my own just to calm down some.

@mara51506 I've been thinking of you and your upcoming surgery. You seem to be all prepared. I think you will be happy to come home to a fresher apartment with more room to move about. I really admire your strength and pragmatism. I'll be hanging around in your gigantic pockets with everyone else.

To all - I wish for a peaceful, happy, and healthier new year.

I saw my oncologist on the 31st, and due to the bad scans I got on Dec 18th that showed progression in the liver and bones, I will be switching to Xeloda. I was supposed to get my fulvestrant shots on the 31st, but after he and I talked, he decided to withhold them, and the Verzenio too. Looks like both Verzenio and fulvestrant have now failed and I need to move on to the next line of treatment. I've had approximately 2.75 years with these two drugs, and was hoping to get a lot more time with them, but it isn't meant to be. I'm worried about what's ahead, because in most cases I've seen each successive line of treatment seems to work for a shorter period of time than the last, and not as well re side effects, etc., so we shall see. He had talked about trying Truqap first at some point last month, and then moving to Xeloda when that stopped working, but he seems to have changed his mind. He says he wants to skip Truqap altogether in my case, because I am so prone to side effects, and Truqap can make you diabetic, cause lots of diarrhea, etc. He seemed to think the Xeloda would be much more tolerable and come with fewer side effects at the dose he's planning to start me with (1500 mg twice a day, 7 days on, 7 off).

I hadn't expected to hear anything about any of this until mid week, from what the onc said at our last appointment, but this morning I got hit with a barrage of stuff about how they are sending prescriptions for anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea drugs that I can have on hand when I start the Xeloda - that suggests possible trouble. They also called to schedule a biopsy for Monday morning for something that has sprouted on my chest and looks like skin mets to me. The onc thought it did too, but wants the biopsy to be certain. Again, I thought all this would start sometime next week, not this morning. I was bowled over by all of this stuff they hit me with this morning and am overwhelmed. Haven't called back yet about the biopsy, because I just can't wrap my head around it right now. I don't want to wake up Monday morning after the holiday and go get a biopsy - mid or late next week would be OK (if it's ever "ok"), but sheesh! I had a rough fall season, and this last month got even worse with these bad scans, possible skin mets, and rising tumor markers. My tumor markers had been going up a steady 2 points a month for the last several months, but this month the CEA and CA15-3 went up 6 and 7 points each, respectively. Not good!

@threetree Feeling your apprehension with the timing and concern with all this news. I feel your fear with any change. You had a good run on Verzenio. I will be praying Xeloda works well for you too. It wasn't paralyzing for me, it just didn't work for me. I start chemo on the 6th and we shall see how I do. I never expected to live 9 1/2 years after my original Stage IV dx so every day is a plus.

@mara51506 I am praying daily for you as you prepare for your hospital visit. It seems like 2026 is starting out hard for a few of us, but together we support each other.

@irishlove Happy Birthday tomorrow. I hope your day is filled with joy and many blessings.

@threetree I am wrapping you up in a supportive hug with all that you have been dealing with and now skin mets. My goodness, that is a lot to deal with. I am always going to send support from your pocket, know that I will be supporting you even in surgery, come out and support you more if you can handle it.

@irishlove Organizing and decluttering are a great way to clear the brain, focus on one area at a time given the energy reserves may or may not be full. Think of yourself, doing a bit of work then needing to fill your reserves with food or a nap, go onto the next area. My SIL amazed me with her speed and efficiency, I don't work fast, breaks are needed. Chip away, fill reserves and you will get your stuff done, happy 70th as well. I turned 54 and I cannot really believe it.

I am in process of last of my chores, laundry will dry overnight, taking the microfibre mop from the spinner and will run it across the floor, got cat box and sink dishes, lastly cleaning out sink, I did manage to keep up with dishes and stuff used as I went along with meals. I am still in process but will be done within minutes, clear the litter and run the mop after it comes out from spinner damp and ready to pick stuff up, once done, just throw back in for tomorrow's load of laundry. It will keep it cleaner faster, can use spray cleaner as needed. Prefer just a pleasant smelling mop. Vinegar freshens things up as well but wanting to try the damp microfibre on the daily from a fresh wash done, damp, picks up fir etc well. I like the idea of the spray used less and the laundry goes through a mostly 50/50 ratio water to vinegar with about 10 percent fabric softener for the scent.

EDIT, everything done, blanket hanging overnight, tossed microfibre I used into tomorrows wash, also remembered that when using the the regular spray mop, should be wearing sock mops to aid in drying or scrubbing the floor, I will see

Oh well, sat around too long, finish what I need to do, make tea and head to bed. Goodnight all, back in the nightime pockets.

@aj , @cookie54 , @irishlove , @micmel , @chicagoan , @mara51506 , @intolight , @rlschaller - Thank you all so very, very much for the warm and heartfelt thoughts, comments, and good wishes for me during this really awful time. They are more appreciated than you will likely ever know! I just hope I can do this. I did finally call the Breast Surgery Center at my hospital back and set the biopsy up for Thursday, rather than Monday. That should give me a little more "processing time". I'm not sure if this is skin mets, or just more on my sternum that just happened to pop through the skin. The area itself has been nothing but skin, bone, and broken blood vessels ever since the mastectomy and radiation, so not real sure where any actual tissue/muscle might be for it to grow in, but the bump does look like a skin met. My original tumor started to come through the skin looking something like this too. We shall see.

I'm real glad to know that some of you (AJ and Cookie, especially) have done fairly well for awhile with the Xeloda. I did get some test result back (DYNP) that says I can indeed take Xeloda, so that's a plus. Apparently some have a genetic make-up that doesn't allow them to metabolize it, so you have to get the blood test first. I hadn't known about that before. My biggest fear of course is that this will fail after not too long, as so many of these drugs do from what I see on these threads. Xeloda does look like one that has a bit better track record, but of course not for everyone. There's no way to know of course until you give it that old college try.

Again, I just want to thank you all big time for the emotional and mood boosting things you've had to say about this. It just means so much, and helps so much. I hope you are all having the happiest of New Year's. I've been following along with everybody's "everything" and I love to hear how all of you are doing too. May 2026 be nothing but a better, happier, and healthier year for all of us 💥💙🍾🎉!

P.S. If I forgot anybody, it was an accident, and I'm truly sorry.

Got to admit I am having a lot of funny thoughts making me laugh about the surgery, joking thoughts that it will be a nice vacation, already thinking about having people bring me better food to eat, possibly when up and about. Chuckling that I am assuming is a good thing, means I am confident. I did already tell DB that I am planning not to stay in the ICU, last thought before go into surgery and want to be out no later than Mon the 12th. Last surgery, I did get out after a weekend stay, surgery was Fri told fam will be out by Mon and that happened. Love the idea that I will be on my stomach during surgery as well, pretty cool.