My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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@shanagirl Thank you for such a complete list of everyone active on this thread. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and sincerity as you go through your own struggles.
I always had a cat starting in our first home as a married couple wherever we lived. I had both inside only and in and out cats depending on where we lived. Here we have many cayotes so an outside cat is not an option. Our last precious tortoishell cat had to be euthanized because she was suffering, and was throwing up everyday no matter what we tried, and had multiple issues. After that, I said enough. I can barely take care of myself let alone take proper care of a cat, so Mara, I applaud your efforts. I do miss them.
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@shanagirl, agree, if my cats would have used the litter robot which I had purchased for the townhouse back in the day, I would not be having the problem but they would not use it despite following all written advice, cleaned and sold it below cost. Went back to steel boxes, now that I know how much litter actually needs to be in the box, it should keep from letting urine flow to bottom, same as you I scoop everytime used unless not around. Oh well, got stuff on the way, will thoroughly get everything scooped out, no way to really hose it out so need paper towel to wipe out first and then wipe out, prevents most of the litter getting in the washer. That will be done as a vacuum of litter area as well. SIL was smart to add my vacuum sweeper back there. I will also employ that and broom get up the kicked out litter and dispose of those. Am planning to put my wee garbage can outside in my corner with lid and toss litter stuff outside in the corner. Works to go out the back door, open bin and toss stuff in there then can take over to the trash when I am able too but have a place outside for that kind of stuff. Big note on lid with my apartment number on and should I be told I can't, just put up my mobility issues preventing stair use and inablity to drag stuff in that huge can myself.
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shanagirl thank you for thinking of me. 5 down……6 to go!❤️
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OK, steps on the litter area, not getting the floor done until tomorrow, tried out the little litter bags, they are OK but not much different than the litter genie bags, be just as easy to cut a shorter bag. The little garbage can does not fit white garbage bags but I can scoop into those and put the smaller bagged stuff in the little garbage and it closes well, still scooping the yucky stuff out, once done that put a ton of new litter in but not yet.
Going to run garden trowel at bottom, put litter box in big garbage bag and dump litter out back, wipe out box then add the new litter.
Your girl is plum tired from all the work do. ne today with litter and new box, like the little bags from Boxie cat, enough to tie them off and stick them in the litter genie bag, got the kitchen garbage pail, it is pretty, that can hold extra boxie. Last step for tonight is simply get my garbage outside in a container hopefully or put in the rubbermaid container but goal is too keep that kind of garbage outside so take a quick break and finish the sweep of the living room up, grab my can, put some sneaks on and move stuff around some, goal being garbage can in corner, clearly marked as my place. I will be taking a quick break, finish some wash up with rinse and spin and final dry. Humidifier and air purifier setting up sometime tomorrow. Need to spend remaining energy wisely.
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@mara51506 I used baking soda and covered the bottom of the pan. It worked well and is reasonably priced. Thing of you and I know you will meet your goals, in healing and coming home.
@shanagirl Oh my goodness I cried reading your story. The compassion shown to you was nothing short of extraordinary. You are so sweet that I imagine people are very sweet in return.
Thank each and everyone of you for the thoughtful birthday wishes. It was a quiet day, which is fine by me. DD was sick, so I baked my own cupcakes. Turned out pretty good, love chocolate with whipped chocolate cream on top and some marshmallows. We had the tree taken down last night by son-in-law. He bought the tree and decorated with his own items. It was great not having all that work. The pine tree is still in great shape, so I bungee chorded it to the crepe myrtle and put popcorn on it. The smell is so beautiful and takes me back to Christmas past. Family finally vacated tonight after DH spoke to son-in-law and DD. They had been here since Thanksgiving. Now I can get in that bedroom and really clean and sort clothing to take to resale store. So many beautiful little girl dresses she never wore. I know you don't make much money doing this, but I'll give it to DGD for her piggy bank.
Deep in pockets for those in need.
Laurel
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Happy Birthday, Irishlove. Sounds like it was a very nice day.
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Mara-I know that conversations between siblings can be frank. I would say things to my brothers that I wouldn't say to other people if I was concerned about them. But your brother's remarks seem pretty cruel, especially if you do brush your teeth twice a day. I hate how he and SIL seem to think that they have the right to shame you, just because you need their help with certain things. This is a vulnerable time for you and I hope you don't get hung up on your teeth. I go to the dentist twice a year, as is customary in the US. Even though I try to take very good care of my teeth, they always look better after getting the professional cleaning. My new dentist advised me to switch to an electric tooth brush and water pik, plus regular flossing. I had tried them years ago but tried them again upon her recommendation. My teeth do feel cleaner with this new routine and I've gotten used to having the devices in my mouth. That's what I hated the first time. Hope that you have peace of mind today as you see your oncologist and get everything set for surgery.
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I do have a water flosser and some regular floss, electric toothbrush as well. Tea stain is right into the enamel, bought some white strips which are not to set off sensitivity, I could almost see teeth are brighter. But doing it for myself, same with the cleaning, grateful for the start by SIL, not overwhelming to look at and I can get it done.
Anyway, enough complaining, MO app't was good other than she is seeing something in my lung, she is going to CT scan every 3 months and says if it turned out be actual mets she would radiate it. She told me it could also be an artifact from my bad cold with chest congestion and coughing. Not going to focus on that now, get through the brain stuff. She says I am her miracle patient due to the lack of mets below the head and general good health all things considered. I will take that. I like to hear that and need to stop obsessing on stuff said and just keep up with stuff I want to, they asked about technology disposal but I said I will keep it, like to do different things on computers like try to put different operating systems on, they don't take up floor space so the can stay
Craving some mcdonalds so getting a junior chicken and mcdouble and possible fruitopia, allowing this because I am hungry and it would taste good and will not be grocery shopping for a little while anyway.
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@mara51506 In your corner, in your pocket or wherever I may be of help. May your family be supportive and of comfort to you and may your kitties behave while Mama is away. All day tomorrow I will be sending you positive vibes and if you accept, prayers, too.
First day in such a long time it's just DH and me (well dogs, feral cats, squirrels and birds, too.) Dinner was easy since I didn't worry about feeding extra folks. Thought I was getting a UTI and when I tested, it was positive immediately. Sometimes I can't tell due to MS and numbness. I'm an oddball, no fever. It has something to do with MS, but I no longer show tempt. when I'm ill. Doesn't mean I don't feel it inside and sometimes it's even a subtemp, which is just as bad. So stop Ibrance, start Cephalaxen 500 mg. Cipro is bad juju for me. I developed severe tendonitis in my feet. I discontinued Cipro immediately. My feet healed, but slowly. Cipro is a no no for people who use steroids, most folks over 65 need to be cautious.
Please keep care and bless you my friends.
Laurel
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@irishlove My family is helpful for the important stuff. I need to shake it off, listen to advice, take what works for me out of said advice and go and ignore the blunt stuff. Life would be much better.
Seems we are the night owls, I was too busy doing other stuff. I tend to start eating, gets me through a sleepless day. Saw this dude on youtube talking about air fryer hacks. One involved hard boiled eggs, just pop eggs in, put in cold water after, using a frozen meal in the cold water to act as ice as I do not have any ice, posting when I find out. I know that it is perfectly safe for a frozen meal or meat to be put in cold water so might as well. Eggs are done at 140 Celsius for 15 m. Once done with the cool bath, planning to take out the frozen meal if possible, if not defrost in microwave a bit and dump the veggie stir fry in the air fryer. and have the eggs as a side dish, we will see.. My plan is to defrost the veggie stir fry, by adding some garlic and sour cream powder, cook for 15 mins at 140 stirring every few minutes, not looking for super crispy, just a different way to do it.
Addition, I did have success making the hard boiled eggs, two of them, same instructions as above, cooled in cold water with a frozen meal making the water even colder due to no ice cubes. The frozen meal became thawed though had a lot of water, had to strain the stirfry and heat about 5 mins at 140 first to remove most of the water content and did spend 15 mins heating through. For the last part, took the hardboiled eggs, peeled pretty easily and I just wound up tearing them apart and putting in the fryer with the stirfry. Liberal garlic flavour, used some caesar bacon dressing as binding and some crushed up great value cheddar rice cakes as well. It was really good. Just another weird thing to eat. All dishes soaking for limit of 30 mins. I also boil some water to add to a sink soak just so stuff is easy to come off.
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Went to ER yesterday morning after 2 days of brutal cough. Was admitted w/flu type A. WC was 1 and ANC was .6, oxygen below 90. Rotating 2 different iv antibiotics. Early lab draws this am show improvement in counts after injection to boost white counts. Hope to go home tomorrow. And yes I had flu shot. Still coughing, just not as much but so tired.
Happy belated birthday Laurel🎂💐🎈🎁
Here for pocket duty for all, especially Mara with her upcoming surgery.
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Oh poor you! We do our best to protect ourselves, but the invisible nasties still find us. Glad to hear there's some improvement in counts. Hopefully the fatigue will ease as the antibiotics kick in, although some of the stronger ones cause fatigue. I was on IV ertapenem for two weeks and had to nap every afternoon. Just give in to it and sleep as your body demands it.
So happy you and DH have finally gotten peace and solitude! I think it was a medical necessity for you. Too much of your stamina was being drained by DD and DGD. I think the hardest thing is to allow adult children to lead their own lives, even when we see them heading down what we believe is the wrong path. You and DH have been incredibly kind and generous to them, but for your own sake (and health) you need to detach.
Squeezed into a tiny corner in one of your pockets through surgery and recovery. Surrounding you with love and healing thoughts.
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@goldensrbest Ugh so sorry you wound up in the hospital! Glad you're getting the medical attention you need. Sending hugs and healing vibes your way.
@mara51506 As usual you have a great attitude with your DB and SIL. Yep you take what advice that's useful and discard the rest! I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow and praying for a successful smooth surgery. Know that we are always here to support you.I wish it was in person but I hope you feel all the love for you here❣️
@irishlove I think I missed your bday! Wishing you all the best in the year ahead and always🌺💗
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@goldensrbest Sorry to hear you are in the hospital. That flu bug this year is really nasty. Hope you feel much better and are back at home soon.
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@goldensrbest Joining with the others with empathy for your flu bug. I fear getting it and have been a recluse lately. We have the air purifiers going in the house and I plan on wearing a mask at the hospital tomorrow. My DD, who is a night ER nurse at a children's hospital, says they have patients everywhere and struggle to clear the waiting room. She says almost 100% of children who are there have flu A along with whatever else they are there for. My DGD went back to school today and I will avoid her too as much as possible since my immunity will tank today. Sigh.
@irishlove I know you are torn between seeing your DD and having them leave, but you are right, it is best. I hope you take this time to rest and recover. You deserve some peace.
@mara51506 Continued prayers my friend for your surgery tomorrow. May the outcome and recovery have the utmost results.
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@goldensrbest I am so sorry you got hit with that flu, I had that same type almost three years ago and it caused 3 falls for me with a fever, no antibiotics for me but I survived and it sounds like you are coming out of yours just fine. I can imagine the joy of coming home.
Yes, getting close to surgery time. I've been up all night, that is OK, not surprised I am, I have kept meals up, found my instructions for surgery, I had wrong info given to me by SIL and the neurosugeon office. Instructions stated I need to stop eating by midnight and cut off water at the 12 hour mark. Now I may follow that the original 12 hour thing, I will have to see. I did manage to sleep through cardboard pick up so stuck with extra cardboard, my solution will be to cut down the amazon type cardboard to smaller pieces using my newer exacto knives, store them in a blue bag and put in a pretty shopping bag til I want to take it all out.I can hang the bag up on one of my 2000 hooks around the house and that would be less obvious. I have the lilac container in front of the closet I have also been squishing all packaging stuff with hands and putting into garbage in the kitchen, got a little composter, thought would hold litter but decided when get out of hospital will hang up that container, add compost bags for the food garbage, like just be for tea bags as I tear the used ones up to make more room, was using that for deodorizing drain but do not like the idea of those not going down the drain. Just tear apart and put in composter once I have the right size bag for composting. This will be after I get out of hospital.
Left some instructions for SIL for what to do whilst I am in hospital, big one is to not worry about sorting anything or heavy cleaning. I can take care of that, myself. I will let them know the compost container is to be ignored as well. I had it by the litter genie but my bags do not fit it so need compost bags, separate food scraps from regular garbage, would hang in front and I can break up tea bags or scoop any leftovers as well. Supposed to be odour free. Ordered the Walmart compost bags, should fit my container, can hang off the kitchen cabinet, use bag for organic stuff. Thinking tea bags and such. I usually break up the used bag which takes up a bunch of room, can store grounds in there or any food item, egg shells whatever. Tea grounds as I learned can clog up drains. Used to put them down the drain but no longer gonna do it. Moving the container to hang off door.
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Got some immodium, bringing that and enzymes because when exit hospital, assuming all goes well, I will be HUNGRY. Cannot take in hospital I don't think but when released, assuming things went well, I will be wanting food.
Few chats with SIL, productive. My social worker called and we chatted possible services and that my surgery hospital will advise on that, gave her that info as well and she is bringing some stuff for me to have. Need more undergarments she is picking some up. I handwash on the daily which meant I only had need for a couple pair but more would be better.
Got beefless ground, will have some with a meal, may airfry lentils from fridge first, get them crispy and add some beefless ground, queso and taco seasoning, might add some frozen peppers as well. Next while, will work to sweep and mop the litter area, set up the air purifier, crack window some as well. Should be hunky dory. Laundry needs some doing too. If missed above the air fryer hard boiled eggs here actually really good and easy to make them using the air fryer.
Hope all have a good day, in pockets for all who need me, if hospital allows it, will post. Mute device and run on do not disturb. Last time was able to use phones with ear buds. Don't see it would be an issue, just need to not disturb others, they will certainly let me know. May also bring tablet with movies on it or just watch you tube there. Got two phones, one for online stuff and one to listen to music with, check tablets as well. Bring charger IF there is no available charger there, I am sure there is but still. Resist urge to overpack stuff to but group items together.
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@irishlove - I'm another one chiming in here with belated birthday wishes. I hope you had a wonderful day and have many, many more! (I've been kind of a mess lately both mentally and physically, so there's so much here that I would like to respond to, but just wind up not doing anything - ugh! )
@goldensrbest - So awful that you got the flu, and so bad too - even after getting the shot! Wow, I hope you don't have to stay in the hospital for too long. I guess this current flu going around, is really something and I've heard before too, that this years vaccine wasn't a good match for what we got. I am really pulling for you and in your pocket.
@mara51506 - I am so in your pocket for tomorrow! I will absolutely be thinking of and rooting for you all day long! I'm going to fit myself way down in one of those corners of your pocket, like someone else here said, as you will have a very overflowing pocket for the next while for sure. Hugs too!
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Lost my post. grrrr…. Checking in on our sweet Mara. Anyone hear from her family? She certainly maintains a great attitude and I admire her so much. @goldensrbest I hope you are beginning to shake the flu. This one is for the ages. My go-round with it took close to 7 days, with mostly fatigue the last day or two. And I'm talking bone busting fatigue. Keep the tea ready and get better soon.
Watching the weather forecast for the nation. Rough beginning with ice and snow to 2026. Back in 1997 winter, we had just moved to Valle Crucis, NC., just down the road from Boone. The forecasters called for 8 inches of snow. By the end of the storm it was 4 ft. in our neighborhood. We bought a generator for the next year. What saved us is we had a wood burning fireplace, gas cooking and 7 dogs curled up in bed at night. Plus we had Grandmas wool Hudson bay blankets. What a challenge and we were young, dumb and enjoyed it because time stood still for a brief while.
Here in your pocket, whomever may need me. Stay warm and safe and away from ice skating with your car.
Laurel
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checking in on Goldens best! I hope you’re feeling better soon. Someone said January was diagnosis month. I am Jan 22 2016. So I agree there. Just wanted to catch up on everyone. I think of you all daily. I had heard ebernix girl had passed. The one that had the other stage four thread? Please tell me that it wasn’t her. I heard wrong? Does anyone know? Thanks
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cannot forget Mara. You’ll be in my thoughts constantly and sending blessings. Hugs my dear sweet sister.
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@mara51506 , good luck with your surgery!
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@mara51506 - in your pocket for the next several days. Sending positive, healing thoughts your way.
@goldensrbest - sorry to hear you're in hospital and hope you jailbreak soon. The flu is no joke this year.
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Yes, @shanagirl mentioned the January diagnosis thing, and I am in there somewhere too. I seem to have a "November and January" thing. My original diagnosis was in November of 2018, and I started chemo in January of 2019. I was good until 2022 when I started feeling some back pain and went to the ER that November. They didn't seem to find much then other than dehydration. Things continued and I went back to the ER in the followingJanuary of 2023 and was told all about how I was stage 4 now with mets to my spine, ribs, and sternum. I've began dealing with all of that then and went for about 2.75 years being stable, and then this last November (November again) started having some serious problems. The scan in November didn't show anything alarming, just like the scan in November of 2022 didn't. Then later in December I got a another scan that showed serious progression in my liver and bones. So now in January again, I will be starting Xeloda for a "sort of" new diagnosis of "progressing stage 4". I'm also getting a biopsy tomorrow for something that has blossomed on the upper part of my chest (the part that gets a lot of sun exposure and that was notably damaged on me from radiation in 2019). What that will turn out to be, I have no idea, but that will be another new January diagnosis. I think there is something about the fall and winter that maybe brings this all on.
Interesting too is that I had Covid (mild case after vaccination) in May of 2022, and got the anti-viral, but never felt 100% better after that and wondered if I was experiencing "long Covid" or a post viral syndrome sort of thing. Well it was that fall (November) that I first went to the ER with the new back pain, that then evolved into the progression to stage 4 in January of 2023. Last May (2025) I got shingles, and as with the Covid it was a mild case and I got the anti-viral. Once again, I never completely bounced back and started to wonder if I was suffering from some sort of "post-viral syndrome" as I had with the Covid that I gotten at the same time of year 3 years earlier. I asked my onc, but he said there are no tests that can confirm a "post viral syndrome" so they just can't say. He didn't dismiss the idea, but said he couldn't endorse it either. Well just as following the Covid, I wound up with more trouble again in November, and that has led to all this new progression and more "January diagnosis" stuff.
I want to be very clear that I do not believe that Covid or shingles or the vaccines and anti-virals "cause" cancer, etc. I believe the science that is out there. What I do think however, is that getting these viruses can weaken our systems in such a way that the existing cancer can get stronger and overcome some of our defenses. Add the fall and winter seasons on top of that and maybe there is something of a "perfect storm" for cancer progression of one kind or another, and hence all these "January diagnosis" type situations.
Just some random thoughts and observations of mine, for what they're worth. I had kind of thought it was just "my own thing" there for awhile, and wasn't going to bother mentioning any of this, but when @shanagirl mentioned a January thing that she has noticed, and now @micmel has too, I thought I'd chime in.
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@micmel - Hi Mel. I think about you quite often too, and am so glad to see you back here from time to time. Yes, very sadly, exbrnxgrl died last year. It happened quite suddenly after she had done so well for so long. Just so unfortunate.
@mara51506 - You know I am in your pocket today especially, and all through your recovery, but just wanted to underscore that today. Thinking of you so very much today and sending nothing but good wishes and "positive vibes out to the universe" for you. Hugs too!
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@mara51506 I have been praying for you often yesterday and today so far. May the surgeon's hands be guided and may your recovery be smooth.
@micmel I join the others in saying it is good to see you back a little more. I pray daily for you and Gabby too. That is what I do.
My original dx was in May 2016. Looking back, most of my changes were in the fall with my epic fail and hospital scare in December 2021 so my timeline is a bit different. There is no good time for a change. Since I was just changed to IV chemo yesterday I now fit the January thing…
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@intolight - I want to let you know that I've been thinking of you too, and I wish you nothing but success and all good things as you embark on this "January thing" of starting chemo. I hope it serves you well for a very long time. You have also gone through so much, and have been dealing with some of the same things I have (ER,PR+, HER-, originally stage 3, then to stage 4; Verzenio and fulvestrant, etc.) only more so, and for longer, so I have really gotten a lot out of your posts and have found you to be so helpful and an inspiration. I am in your pocket and sending you lots of good wishes and some hugs.
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Ugh today and yesterday I’ve been really tired and feeling blah and achy bones. I haven’t felt great since my fasloldex & Xgeva injections last Thursday it always hits me days later. I’m just stopping in to say a quick hi and am thinking of you all. Too tired to visit thee bone met forum to say hi. So Also @threetree thinking of you. I want @mara51506 I’ve had you on my mind all week and sending out Prayers and caring vibes to you. 🙏💓💗
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