STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Was dumb yesterday and set my laptop down on the floor when looking out the window at the birds and did not pick it up so when turned around fell on top of it and broke the stand it was on. Fortunately did not break the computer but sure hurt myself. Scared my spouse and fortunately did not hit my head but sure hurt my back and rest of me. So sore today as well and can barely move around. Felt so dumb.
The new stand is not as big and good and spouse tried to modify it to help me out but not the same and not sure can even find what had before. Could feel all my node swelling up in my aim pits as well. Not sure if damaged stuff in there or not . Do not go for more tests again until next month.
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@bcincolorado Oh, that sounds like such a scary fall, and I'm glad you didn't hit your head. Please don't feel dumb, accidents happen to ALL of us, especially when we're distracted by something as lovely as watching birds.
It makes sense that you're so sore today after a fall like that, and it's completely understandable to be worried about the node swelling, especially with tests still a month out. If the soreness gets worse instead of better over the next few days, or if that swelling changes or feels different to you, please don't wait for your scheduled appointment. It's always okay to call your care team sooner if something doesn't feel right to you.
In the meantime, be gentle with yourself. Falls like this take a real toll on the body, and healing from the physical impact takes time, even without anything more serious going on. Sending you comfort as you recover, and I hope your spouse's stand rigging does the trick until you can find a proper replacement.
Sending gentle hugs your way!0 -
Thank you. May end up resting more today again flat on my back again in the bed on a bit.
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@bcincolorado Sorry about the fall. I tripped on a dishwasher door I left open last week so I understand feeling dumb. While you are resting up might I suggest you look at the Merlin Bird ID app, if you haven't already. (https://merlin.allaboutbirds.org/). Your husband can set your phone outside for a few minutes with it recording and it will identify the birds it hears in your yard. I was amazed at how many I have. Feel better.
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have done that myself before as well hit my knee when putting away dishes after unloading the dishwasher one day and got distracted and turned around too fast.
We do have that app and got a neat book with pictures in there of the birds that we can see our feeder and the suit each day. We get these tiny little things and end up with about a dozen of them on there sometimes and not much bigger than a hummingbird almost but not a hummingbird. We also have squirrels that nest in our tree in front yard and they hang out under the bird feeder and pick up the seed they knock out on the ground and are so cute. We give them unsalted peanuts every day as well. Our way to connect with nature without going out in the woods to walk.
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@bcincolorado I love watching the birds. The hummingbirds practically come and knock on the door if I don't keep the feeders full. I put some old flower pot bottoms outside a door with water and watching them drink and splash makes me happy. I have a big, fat robin that comes and splashes all the water out almost every morning. I also have a number of little finches that come as a group. I also have squirrels and a possum that drink out of it. As you said a little connection to nature.
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We get hummingbirds and do have feeders for them but they seem to almost prefer to use the zinnias we plant and we love those. We have that are very bright.
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Feeling big feelings tonight about how much having two courses of chemo has affected my cognition. Chemo brain sucks! I was at a young survivor's event tonight and ran into someone I recognized. I didn't recall her name, which wasn't a big deal, but she reminded me that I was a peer mentor to her whey she was newly diagnosed. We kept taking and THEN I remembered that this is not the first time I'd forgotten her name and our mentor-mentee connection. I'm mortified! And so scared because this is just one of so many dumb moments I experience in a week. I used to be a literal genius and now my brain is mush. It's terrifying. And it makes me so angry!
Thanks for giving me a safe place to share this.
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give yourself some grace and realize it is not your fault to not always remember. Sometimes we have to be reminded about names sometimes.
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Bcincolorado,so sorry you fell. Glad you didn't get hurt bad. I'm afraid of falling with 3 falls in the last year. Getting to old for that!
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Found a big bruise on m y leg from the fall had last evening when getting ready for bed. Spouse saw it. Knew was still sore. Glad nothing broke. those meds sure thinned my bones a lot.
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Folks I had Saline implants above the pectrols in the 1970's , Vanity, thought Husband would love them. Made no difference. No comment.
Post BMX 2009, breast cancer had sub pectral implants . Pain was such for two years that I considered deconstruction. About a month before the crainiotomy for the brain tumor identified on the same day of the BC, the pain ceased very much. Not Zero, but very close. It was odd, but very valued. The next pain was the post crani pain which was skin that lasted years, But the HUGE thing HUGE HUGE thing is
I am still alive. In 2026. Boob things are still mostly okay, Crani skin things have greatly improved, NO NO NO brain deficits of any nature
Boy friend since 2013 loves the boobs, Sex was good until my hips wouldn't agree. (75y/o). Still considering working on that.
Am I doing everything that can make a positives out of muck. Muck being an old word for cow or horse shit. NO, I could have made or could be making fertilizer.
I make excuses, The thyroid cancer came next. Duh, Survived it and the treatment. Treatment lead to a Lichen Sclerosis of the vulva. Asked three docs to either fix or give me seconal. ( the drug to die) They didn't get how bad the pain was. Finally one doc did and did surgery. Two docs by observation of the vulva tumor said cancer or pagets. Outcome dx Not cancer. but seriously unhappy tissue.
Two years later learned it was tooooo much use of topical steroids. Steroids were good for the LIEUCHEN SCLEROSIS, But not for the folds of the labia underneath, Still unknown in the Vulva clinics of major centers, b/c my doc didn't get it. Rare diseases, are ignored.
Different body parts are so unknown and specialties are so divided, even by millimeters.
So, I asked three docs to either let me die or fix me. In the end I found the answer on my own. It was the liberal use of topical steroids. Steroids created the itch on the very soft epithelial tissue. If there is a scientist or research doc reading this and understands what I am saying you can change history. You have skin, then transitional cells then mucus membranes. Application of steroids long term cause a change. A steroid side affect is itch. Long term itch, causes proliferative growth.
All the research describes is subjects , describe the itch, caused itching during sleep. THE subjects all are lying. It's embarrassing to say , I can't control not scratching the itch, I have to scratch. Been there, Lived it, Asked docs to give me the drug to die
Who knew that the drug the docs gave me to control Licken Sclerosis would lead to a need to end my life.
After the surgery to excise the tumor created by excess use of steroids, two years later, I suggested to the up grade opthomoligist, I was suspicious about steroids causing an eye problem. TADA, dx'd with Central Serous Retinopathy. Cause. STEROIDS.
ALL DRUGS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. Our care is fractured. One specialty has there drug regimen, they are not uncaring of other regimens or specialties, but just simply don't think of them because it's not their body part.3 -
Bcincolorado,
Your bruise reminds me of my mom falling and the Dr seeing a bruise weeks later. He chewed me out for not getting her in to see him right away to check her over.
Also a senior friend same age as mom. Same time. She had fallen and gotten a big bruise. She nearly lost her leg! Turned pretty black. Deep Bruise wasn't healing.
YEah my bones are bad. Don't know your age but let us not forget there is urgent care available all around us. And it's not just about breaks.
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Sas-schatzi, I hurt for you reading your story. I would be filled with frustration and anger and want to die too. Any one of those conditions is bad enough. How come we can't have just bc? Seems to come with a boatload of other health issues for some of us. I've got lichen sclerosis too but it seems to be in remission! Yay. But do I dare attemp sex. Nope.
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Went for screening on non cancer side this morning. Early appointment and in the past they would read it right away and tell me before left if ok as a cancer person. This time not sure if because it so early if doc who reads them was not in yet or what but still nothing in the portal and looks like have not even checked in for my appointment and they did not update anything. Wonder if the whole system went down or what. On pins and needles now and now worried again. The fear never goes away.
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Well called just before 5 to find out why it showed did not even show up for my appointment in their system. They fixed that but no results are posted. DH who had been so supportive before kind of freaked out that I was calling them and to him it is nothing to worry about and think he is just wanting to think the best all the time and of course does not understand the way it makes me nervous to not know it is ok or not. Nol idea how long it is going to be before get the official results now.
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@bcincolorado that's so frustrating! I see no harm in you calling; it's very common to review survivors' imaging right away so it's not like you're asking for anything special. Did they not tell you anything verbally before you left the appt?
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No they told me to have a good day and said pictures came out ok. Still not posted in portal at all.
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Well they finally after a week of sweating it out finally posted something that it is ok in the portal. Not like they could not have done it before the weekend at all and making me worry all week long. Tried to call again to complain yesterday and was on hold so long it was past the time they would be gone for the day. No idea how it showed up right now in there. was not there at 3 today. Some computer guy probably figured out it never went or something and pushed a button when they went on duty today.
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@bcincolorado that's definitely worth complaining about! Ugh. Glad you have the report now though.
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Well now got another letter in t he portal this morning from primary doc who reviewed it as well. I did say something on survey that got after testing though how they did not read it right away and tell me before I left and was left hanging for days and days. Not what they normally do there.
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Guess I won't be asking anyone to help me with anything after this week! Two days ago I asked my hubby to make pilot holes in some pieces of the new skeleton pieces I am adding to my Halloween display. Got told, sure no problem, I'll do it later. Well after waiting two days for him to do it, I got fed up and proceeded to do it myself! Why promise to do something if your going to blow it off until I blow my stack about it or do it myself!
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My father in law used to feel like all my mother in law did for decorating for any holiday was decoration and not needed. That is someone who grew in a holler in W. VA and one time lived in a cleaned out chicken coop with 3 other brothers after his mom died and they had to go live with a sister after Dad could not take care of them at that point since they were the young ones and the sisters were married already. it was the only place for them since no room in the house for them. To him all decorations were useless and crap. She loved them though and spent her own money from working on them. We have a lot of them here now. At least my spouse does not mind and is willing to bring up the boxes from downstairs and then let me do decorating.
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Anothernight I am not eating dinner! Went to take out something different to thaw out for tonight only to find my jerk of a hubby took out more cube steak! We just had that on Saturday! Went without dinner last night due to him and his dinner choice, well, here we go night number two!
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Had a bowl of cereal on Sunday since grand-daughter had a volleyball game and they live about 20 miles from us and it is a long drive. Time got home sure did not want to cook supper at that point. Very tiring on me and was ready for bed when we got home.
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