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Aug 23, 2018 05:13PM
I have started this post 3x and have realized each one was book length.
My daughter with the 3 kids (including the one who broke his wrist a few weeks ago) texted my oldest daughter and I that she was divorcing her husband. It is like pulling teeth to get info from her. At one point, she said when fights get physical, it's time to end the relationship. No details, so we had no idea who got physical and it was a toss-up. They had an epic physical fight at their wedding reception, with my daughter being the aggressor. She said custody was going to be 50/50 , and she was the one moving out. Their idea of 50/50 is that she will go over every morning to get the older two off to school, then go to work, leaving the 2 yr old with Dad, then return to make dinner and when the 2 yr old falls asleep, she will go to her apt for the night.I don't get it- do they wake up in the middle of the night to fight? Plus it turns out he was the aggressor this time. But she says this house is the first time the kids have ever had their own rooms (remember I just redid their oldest daughter's?) and the house is truly a money pit that she wants nothing to do with. She will be getting a full time job, and by renting a really cheap apt for the next year, hopes to have enough of a down payment on a decent house for her and the kids next year. The day they finally got K to the hospital to get his wrist set and casted, the husband collapsed with severe chest pain. I was in Ga, but made arrangements to fly home that night, so I would be available to take care of the kids, laundry, cooking, etc. My daughter called me in tears, asking me to call her MIL to ask if she could get his family to stop the constant emails and texts, basically telling her not to leave him. I called, and very quickly found out she had no idea what was going on with the marriage, but was aware her son was in the hospital. That led to a half hour rant about how good she had been to my daughter all these years, and how hard her son had worked to provide a good home for his family. Long story short, I ended up on the evil end of the stick with the husband calling my daughter screaming that I better not come anywhere near them or I would be very sorry. I can't tell you how scary that was. So, I stayed away. But, at least I am only 2 hrs away, not an airline flight. His diagnosis from the ER was severe anxiety attack with a possible small heart attack. I don't believe the heart attack part, because I don't think the would have discharged him without a definite diagnosis. Luckily, my daughter has kept her hair dressing license up to date and she has interviews at 2 salons tomorrow.
The thing that scares me most is that the husband has PTSD, and his anger and inappropriate behavior is getting worse. I am scared to death with the kids being with him, although the girls get along very well with him. I'm really worried about their son. But, as I said to my sister yesterday, if we were to call child services, nothing would happen- the kids are healthy, clean, dressed normally, and have excellent attendance at school. Both parents can come across as normal people when needed.The only result would be that we would no longer have any contact with them at all.
As you can imagine, this has totally thrown me into a tizzy, and ruined my travel plans. I am sort of, tentatively making new plans, but don't know if I will be able to enjoy myself, leaving my daughter and the kids with no support.
Sandy, glad to hear you’re wrist is healing, even if it is tough- at least you are moving in the right direction.
9/25/2013, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 3/9 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
10/4/2013 Herceptin (trastuzumab)
10/4/2013 Perjeta (pertuzumab)
10/10/2013 Taxotere (docetaxel)
1/28/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right
Breast, Lymph nodes