Topic: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Dec 10, 2020 07:29AM IllinoisLady wrote:

Hospitality means we take people into the space that is our lives and our minds and our hearts and our work and our efforts. Hospitality is the way we come out of ourselves. It is the first step towards dismantling the barriers of the world. Hospitality is the way we turn a prejudiced world around, one heart at a time. -Joan D. Chittister

Dec 10, 2020 12:20PM Beaverntx wrote:

Just had an interesting phone call asking if I would be willing to be put on a waiting list instead of going to my 6 month cancer checkup appointment scheduled for next week. Dr. is trying to limit the number of people in her office on any given day in light of our local covid statistics ( rolling 7 day positivity rate has been at 20% for the last week). I agreed. Told DH that with Christmas and the likely effect of Dec. get togethers it may be spring before my next appointment!

Dec 10, 2020 02:44PM Beaverntx wrote:

No need to check. Main reason for face to face visit is breast exam (she does the most thorough yet comfortable exam I've ever had!) and Zoom would not take care of that. She and her DH are friends of ours and if I had any concerns all I need to do is make contact.

Thanks for the suggestion, though. Am probably going to request a zoom visit with my PCP because I have not heard the results of my dexa scan from a couple of weeks ago. His office was moving locations so I wanted to give them a bit of time but that bit is coming to an end!

Dec 10, 2020 05:52PM Taco1946 wrote:

I tried to access the New York Times issue that gave "group" designations for vaccine with no success. I also thought that each state was more or less setting their own "lists". Ken is 77 with 9 stents and I am 74. Our risk factors are controlled by medication and there is no evidence of my cancer returning. I personally would like to see a lot of people be ahead of us, including our 50 yo daughter who works in a grocery store. We can self isolate a lot easier than many. But when they call my number, I certainly will take it. I can't ask that my dose be sent to Debbie in Maine.

Jackie, it certainly is true that the income inequality has gotten greater in the past 4 years and that the stock market isn't the economy. I know a lot of people who have worked really hard all their lives and haven't experienced the economic success of some others who haven't done the same. I'm enough of a pessimist that I don't believe that we can all achieve our goals and dreams if we work hard enough as some political campaigns said. Too many things in life are beyond our control. On the other hand, having access to resources like education, good health and medical care, and family money makes It easier to deal with set-backs. Not everyone has that. We lived in FHA housing while we were in graduate school but our parents paid our tuition so we didn't end up with years of debt after that. Thank goodness we had VA loans to help us buy our first house.

Stay safe everyone.

Marge

Dec 11, 2020 04:52AM petite1 wrote:

Good morning, ladies. It is 39 and will warm up nicely. So far my grand nephew is the only one that has tested positive. I am surprised his wife has not yet. When I talked with my niece, his mom, she nearly brought me to tears. I felt so bad for her. The family time at the holidays is so important to her. It was difficult enough for her, as her husband died a year ago (liver cancer), SIL, her mom, is dead and MIL, her grandmother is dead. All in recent years. Now the COVID-19 virus has infected her son.

Dec 11, 2020 01:40PM IllinoisLady wrote:

Pretty day this morning g, but it looks like it may be gearing up to rain. I need to go to the store. Should have gone yesterday but got lazy -- so I'll have to go today when it is less pleasant.

Cindy and all. I hope I didn't sound snippy yesterday. I truly am happy for anyone who can invest in the market and do okay with it. I likely have something of a different outlook on things since I generally think all the things that happen to us ( good and bad, poor or rich, sick or well etc. ) is an experience we are meant to have. Not to go too far but everything is a learning experience and if we are learning -- we are growing and hopefully it is mainly ALWAYS positive growth. I struggle a bit financially, but here is the thing -- that helps me learn so much. Part of what I've learned is that I'm not so bad off. We lost all our retirement money thru illness but here I am with basically everything I need. A decent old car that looks new. A comfy home, and really enough food.

I saw pictures on the news of these huge long lines of people waiting to pick up donated food ( praying I never have to go that far ) and I well know there are homeless people. I have a home. True we can't update it as we'd like but it is over 1500 sq. feet of rooms to use and love in a magnificent setting just behind the first tree line of a little woods -- and a huge lake tucked into the woods that provides the town's drinking water.

I can still do a little work, but so many people are out of a job. I do not feel sorry for myself -- in fact, I seldom think of things in that way at all. If your circumstances are better than I am happy for you. I am convinced that I am where I was meant to be because of things I need to learn. So, I welcome each day and the opportunities I might be able to be a part of and the great experiences I may have because I open that door. Even if all I do is talk to someone that day it does something for me, and enriches hopefully my understanding of sharing with others on whatever level comes up. Your circumstances and mine are meant to be different because we are meant to grow in different ways for different reasons.

Which just brings to mind how grateful I am for this thread and the people here that I get to share with everyday. Now darn it -- if Chevy would just get herself in here and say hi once in awhile -- well, it would all be perfect.

Dec 11, 2020 04:00PM petite1 wrote:

Illinoislady, Cindy, Taco, In trying to put on my happy face I came on wrong. I am frugal. I save. I am goal oriented. I am blessed, lucky and been at the right spot at the right time. In the fifties my Dad took me to a band with my piggy back and I opened an account. When I got my first job at 35 cents an hour, I banked the check and lived on the tips. The bank changed to another bank, I would save. It changed to another bank. It changed to another bank and is now changing to another bank. So I probably still have the money from my piggy bank in 1958. Sometimes were hard and I couldn't save. When first husband died, all I had was debt. I was able to sell the house at what was owed and lived in Chapter 8 housing. I bought my first HUD house about 1992. I decided I wanted to be debt free by 2000. I sold it 1998. Moved to the area I currently live and got a great job. Back to saving. I bought an estate sale house. Sold that and bought a condo, built a house, rented out the condo to a newly divorced woman without any credit. Eventually sold the condo and the house I was living at double the cost in 2005. Bought another house, sold it in a year. Built another house. Lost money on that. Jim and I married and he rented his house to a couple that had lost their home. They still live at that house. So we rent to the people no one rents to. We keep rent cheap and we don't raise it. We sold 2 this year to the folks renting them. That money went to stocks and mutual funds. So, if stocks go down and real estate goes down, we will by foreclosures and provide a service renting those that no one will rent to. Sorry to go on for so long, but that is my life story.

Dec 11, 2020 08:39PM Reader425 wrote:

Petite thank you for sharing your story. Its an amazing one. This thread is really lovely and uplifting due to both the topics/ chat but also such gracious dialogue back and forth. Thank you all!

Dec 12, 2020 06:40AM carolehalston wrote:

Petite, I enjoyed sharing your background and I applaud you for your success. My dh grew up in a middle-class blue collar family with a hard working father and stay at home mother. He was taught that however much money you earn, you save a portion of it. When we got married, we were poor but we had the benefit of his small savings he had accumulated while he was in the army and during working years. He was thirty and I was twenty-six when we married. I didn't have a dime of savings.

We both earned money during the wage-earning years of our marriage (51 years) and we always saved. During some years we lived on his salary and put all my income into savings. I took advantage of the first IRA offered by the federal government. Then since I was self-employed as a writer, I sheltered as much income as possible in retirement funds to minimize taxes. We realized early on that the stock and bond markets were the best opportunity to grow savings. We endured stock market fluctuations and ended up with retirement savings to supplement pension and social security.

We chose not to have children because we selfishly wanted to do a lot of travel and indulge in interests that would be hampered by rearing children. For example, we lived on a sailboat for 9 years. So we avoided the expense of a family. As I get older, I acknowledge to myself that not having children means not having the pleasure of friendship with grown up sons and daughters. And grandchildren. But I made my choices.

I make no apologies for having accumulated savings that we are using now in retirement. We hope not to run out of funds but leaving leftover funds to heirs is not a priority.

I enjoy the variety of personalities and lifestyles of our regular contributors to this thread. It would be boring if we were all alike.

Dec 12, 2020 10:14AM Wren44 wrote:

Illinois Lady, I've been meaning to ask about the adorable dog on your postings. Is it a dog you know?

DH sends our cards. I got really tired of doing it so he took over. This year he bought some with a fox in the snow and inside is about friends and family and small good things. Appropriate for this year, I think.

Very foggy here this morning. I can't even see the ridge where I can normally make out the houses and trees. It's supposed to be sunny later. I used to be a travel agent and totally burned out after all the Christmas travel plans we made for people were destroyed by 2 weeks of really thick fog. No planes could get in or out, so we spent Jan. refunding everything we had done in Dec. Then a carrier announced $39 fares to LA. I decided I was in an abusive relationship and needed to get out. It was a good move, but I missed being able to travel. I've had more enjoyable work since I made that decision.

Dec 12, 2020 01:33PM IllinoisLady wrote:

Wren: I wish that were a picture of my dog, but it is just a picture. I usually have cats, or flowers ( usually roses ) but sometimes even I get tired of them and want something else. I do have two dogs though. A miniature pincher, and a black lab retriever -- Mindy ( who becomes Minda with an emphasis on the da if she is being bad ) and Bill. Still too many cats, but most of them are older. They are generally quiet and generally not at all troublesome. It is those pesky little kittens we took in, but they will learn better manners in time. They are adorable which keeps us laughing most of the time.

We had planned to stop 'saving' so many and actually have but when we found the kittens we didn't have the heart to walk away. Our plan is still not to take anymore in and that is mainly due to our age. Cats, especially those kept indoors have a fair longevity and we want to outlive our pets. We have taken in way too many that were " dumped " somewhere because their owners died and the family didn't want the responsibility of the pet -- so they just left them at one of the feral cat colonies. You can always tell ( not that I wasn't familiar with all the feral cats anyway ) as a 'former' pet will usually run right up to you. Their former owners usually spent a lot of time with them and they are hungry for the same amt. of love and attention. Too often they are not neutered which makes being at the feral colony a little dicey at times -- if it is mating season there can be lots of fights. That is why so many came home with me. No one comes to my house and stays un-neutered, period.

Sorry !! As usual I don't know how to give short answers.

Dec 12, 2020 05:29PM IllinoisLady wrote:

Betrayal: Ah, the joys of thinking what you want to say. I must say it went well, but it is obvious I did not read over what I had just written. My computer here has a pretty good spell-checker so I can just keep going ( without a re-read ) if no red pops up to make me stop. It is hilarious. Yeah, better watch out if ya'll come to my house. The vet in the back room will take care of you.

I just re-read what I wrote and not only did I make it sound like ANY visitor might get the " treatment " but I note it was basically the last thing I said. No way for it to be a couple of paragraphs up where you might forget it because you focused on something else.

NOTE TO ALL: I will not have you summarily " fixed " if you come to my house, okay.

Dec 13, 2020 06:15AM IllinoisLady wrote:

Imagine how our lives might be if everyone had even a bit more of the Wisdom that comes from seeing clearly. Suppose people everywhere, simultaneously, stopped what they were doing and paid attention for only as long as it took to recognize their shared humanity. Surely the heartbreak of the world's pain, visible to all, would convert everyone to kindness. What a gift that would be.

Sylvia Boorstein

Dec 13, 2020 04:00PM petite1 wrote:

Sandy, Do you know how the vaccine will be distributed? It sounded like Health care workers and then nursing homes, but I heard also the top government officials. I try not to listen to TV, so don't know what is or will actually happen.

Betrayal, I love the sound of the peaceful kingdom. My 2 cats will on occasion get along. I have not seen deer around the house for probably 6 years, but then we did have the bear last summer (I think it was summer.) I saw a beautiful big hawk today and lots of squirrels. We also get the big fox squirrels. I love them. The cayotes are scary. I would hate to sitting on the lanai and have them come through the screen and get one of the cats, or me.

Dec 13, 2020 10:43PM - edited Dec 13, 2020 10:52PM by ChiSandy

We have coyotes even in the city--there's a "den" of them behind the neighborhood firehouse. None have attacked any pets (AFAIK). The rat population is down, but I'm seeing fewer rabbits, raccoons & possums these days.

Here in Chicago & the suburbs, the order of priority for at least the Pfizer vaccine is Group 1A: first "front-line healthcare workers" (as defined by the individual hospitals); then the staff and residents of senior "congregate care facilities." Apparently that even includes independent-living seniors-only apartment buildings (not just assisted living, convalescent/rehab, & skilled nursing homes). Group 1B: first the "first responders" (in order of priority, EMT/paramedics, firefighters, police); then "essential workers" (teachers, delivery persons including postal workers, supermarket, pharmacy & big-box-store checkers & stockers, public transit workers, workers in food plants and essential factories). Group 1C: first, those >65 with comorbidities, and then those >65 regardless of occupation or physical condition. That includes doctors >65 who do not routinely work closely with COVID patients (in reality, those doctors in private practice with no "strings" they can pull with the facilities where they practice). Group 2 includes prisoners/inmates (and guards), city workers (library, clerical, road/street maintenance, sanitation), workers at urgent care clinics, and non-ICU, non-COVID hospital in-patients.

And within the above groups, those living in hardest-hit neighborhoods (especially if their living conditions make social distancing impossible) will get priority. Can't speak as to city, county, or state gov't officials---I know WH staffers will get first crack in DC. (Even those who already caught COVID from you-know-who).

Here's what fries me, though: The City of Chicago has only 23,000 doses in this first shipment, for the entire city. But Rush-Pres.-St. Luke's is boasting (on every local news show) that it will be immunizing 1000 workers per day (!!!), and its next-door-neighbor Stroger (formerly Cook County) Hospital 600 per day. Now where does that leave all the other hospitals & clinics in the city, much less the nursing homes and assisted-living facilities? There are at least 400,000 health care workers in Chicago alone.

Unless Bob gets into Group 1A via (his "side hustle") being a cardiologist employed by Union Health, we're both in Group 1C--and that means we're highly unlikely to be offered the shot (at least Pfizer) till at least early spring. And it's not clear whether they'll look at my likely life expectancy with even not-yet-metastatic ocular melanoma and declare me not worth wasting a precious couple of doses upon. (Not even gonna speculate as to any already-Stage IV patients).

And to think that back last spring I feared that I would be triaged out of being able to get on a ventilator due to age. Triage is ugly, period.