TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Candie, hang in there girl. Get yourself to the doctor, I'm sure Gina is right and you just need something stronger than Pepsid. I understand your fear though, we all suffer from Canceritis. ((((((((((((((((Candie))))))))))))))))
And Gracie, I'm just gonna back up what Jan said again. Hairless is sooooo very hard. I managed to convince myself, when I looked in the mirror, that the hairless me just meant the chemo was doing it's job and working. Not easy I know, but do know it is a short term thing. (((((((((((((Gracie))))))))))))))))
Marsha
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((shel))
I have been worried about you and hoping you were ok.
I understand your frustration and sadness.
I don't think I can articulate anything well anymore because I am so tired of it all.
I come on here to see if someone needs a hand and I see my name being bandied about and I find out I am in a war that I knew nothing about.
Shel, you have always been my friend and always will be. Please keep in touch with me if you are taking an leave for a while. I will PM you my info again.
As far as the rest goes- I have seen my name and my site mentioned here quite a few times so I think I should clear the air.
Yes, I have a site. It is a nice site for information about BC written from a survivor's perspective. If you want to visit it go to nosurrenderbreastcancerhelp.com
I have a discussion forum that is open to everyone. It is not a "private" site as it was referred to earlier- it is for anyone who wants to sign up. It is in no way "a place to go instead of here" it is a complimentary place to go. BCO is still a place I hang my hat or wig and this is just another option- like having a cup of coffee instead of tea.
You can get there from my website or go directly to it by clicking here
I have nothing to hide- I am an open book.
I do not like all the pretending and sweet talk and pretending to "rise above" things going on here when in fact there is an undercurrent of malice that just cannot seem to be stopped lately.
I honestly do not know what to say anymore. But a sentence that ends with a
is hardly what I call rising above anything. It is petty and childish and frankly I am sick of it.I said this earlier and I will say it again, can't everyone just get a grip and move on? We have breast cancer for god's sake. Isn't that enough drama in your life??
have a good day girls.
I hope everyone chills out.
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Sloandeb, Gracie, Candie, and JanKay keeping ya'll in my prayers.....Gracie the hair thing is so hard.......finally got back most of my eyelashes and eyebrows but still looking for those dang nose hairs
............Marsha of course you are just too cute to look really scary but very cute Halloween costume.....glad you had a grand time........I had one trick or treater...........so DebC will be glad to know the the 3 musketeer bars are in the freezer with the Mallowmars........ha............Thursday night high school football tonight.......yea......we are up against the team that is undefeated for the district........oh well......never can tell........see you guys later gators.......Vickie get some much needed rest girl........and you want to party tonight........Love Shokk0 -
Well, I've been rounding up some folks for our New Year's party and found some party animals...
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Gracie - you are welcome my dear. I hated myself without hair too and I still wore hats and headcovers when my hair actually was Ok to go without them. I felt when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a round, ugly face. I look at pictures made of me that Christmas when on chemo and cringe. No hair, bloated look from steroids they give. It does get better, I promise. I do know where you are coming from though.
SloanDeb - hope you checked in with a doctor today. Know you have been having some rough days. Big hugs.
Cy, where are you? We are all worried about you as you haven't been here and posted in several days. Do check in.
Jasmine, see that Gracie mentioned your website and pictures there. I know it was by invitation only but thought you had shut it down. Did you decide to start your website up again?
Shel - I know you come on sometimes and things are not what they used to be and I agree 100%. We used to enjoy each others company - I think we cared and protected each other more. Cy hasn't been back or been heard from anywhere now for several days - she has been going through some really tough times. I'm worried about her. It is hard to have the full picture when you check in from time to time - many of us tried to rise above the behind the scenes nastiness yesterday and the very different public post in the circle. Stuff like this used to never happen.
I've been part of this circle since it started. Like many, I try to move on, am pulled back as I need to check on everyone. I've tried to post, encourage and be a friend. I'm tired. I'm tired of seeing who protects who, tired of remarks about other websites but there are others out there too that aren't common knowledge and apparently invitation only; tired of all the anger. I've recently had a darn good scare and have a breast MRI coming up to make sure nothing is lurking; I have a child that is pregnant, having problems and hurting; and I have a parent that has not been well and demands much of my time and energy - I can't come here and get upset too. I've thought about it during the night and off and on today. I need to just take a very long break from here. I can't change people but I can change where I spend my time that doesn't suck even more of my energy.
Gracie and SloanDeb - I wish you well on your journey and your recovery. If you care to join many of us elsewhere, the link has been posted.
Brenda
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Gracie: good luck with the doctors appointment today. The fear is always there but as time goes on it peeks its head further and further apart.
I can so empathize with on the hair thing. I want you to remember this. After your last chemo - its kept working for about 4-6 weeks. So you were rady for you hair to start growing back when the chemo was still working. It will come back. Im telling ya, one morning your gonna wake up and rub your head and will feel fuzzy hair. I will never forget that day.
Nicki
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Hi--thanks for listening earlier---I went to Dr. She thinks it is just acid reflux--gave me prescriptions for protonix(tho my doc thinks my ins co won't pay for it--so i should get prilosec over the counter)
and zantac, also. one in morning one at night. also sending me for ultrasound of gall bladder--she said to remain calm, she only thinks it is acid reflux. she did blood work too to check for an ulcer--at work--doing this fast--will check back in later or tomorrow
love ya!!!
slonedeb--hope you are ok--still praying for ya!!!
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Candie -- that sounds hopeful. Maybe the protonix or prilosec will work better for you than the pepcid. Gentle hugs.
Naniam -- Gracie was referring to the Lifetime site. I posted the link to the Faces of Breastcancer page on Lifetime.com. She must have thought it was a private site.
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Candie: There are lots of medications out there. Find out which one your insurance covers. I settled for Prevacid.
Gina: I just have to tell you this. Despite all the postings for Constantines website - I got a direct answer from him to me. What can I tell ya. Thank you girlfriend for providing me the opportunity to ask him a question.
With regards to bco. Listen everyone, I would not be sane without this site. Many, many people helped me through some very dark times. Not only was I given the opportunity to make friends, but I can get update information everyday. This site rocks.
Nicki
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CY, if you are reading, please come back and let us know how you are. There are alot of people who love you and worry about you. I met Vickie and Mary Beth on their Florida trip and they both raved about what an absolute gem of a person you are. Maybe you don't realize this but for alot of us you are our hero. Every single survivor here has thought about mets. We see you, strong and determined, beautiful on the inside as well as the out and we think WOW I hope I could be like that. I know you need us as much as we need you. I hope you will check in with us soon.
As the Osmand Brothers said "Don"t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch girl". Not that I was a huge fan or anything, I hope no one thinks THAT, I was more of a David Cassidy kind of gal but you get my drift........................ Hugs to you, Marsha
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Hmm...I thought that was a Michael Jackson/Jackson Five song. ROFLMAO!
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Nope...by dingy...you're right. Donnie Osmond and written by George Jackson. Gotta get my Jackson's straight.
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Hi. My name is Mary and I got up the nerve to write some last night. I don't think I did very good so I thought I would try one more time without the wine for courage. I am out of treatment and was diagnosed back in May 2006. I've been shut off from my friends and that may be my fault. I come here and read and decided I would take a chance. I am really nervous it's easier to have no commitment if I didn't register or nothing then I did't have to talk. I need some support now i can't live like this. I want to thank Peter for what he said last night and all the nice gals that talked to me. Thank you.
Pet
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Hi from my teacher's convention at the Marriot in Lexington, Kentucky. We had a great day of sessions and a fun dinner with my staff at Rafferty's. I'm planning to veg in my room for awhile, play some games, drink some of the world's best hot chocolate, according to one of the teachers and go to bed. I'm sure that wasn't a very exciting update, but I just like to connect with all of you. Vickie, I hope you are feeling better. Candy, I'm glad they are checking into your problem and hope the new meds work quickly.
Have a wonderful evening.
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Welcome Mary. Please know you can always post here. As you can see, we are a close knit group! Just like sisters.
Sheri, have fun at the convention!
Candie, I'm 3 yrs out of tx and I still have really bad acid reflux. It started during chemo, them went away. Now it's back and I'm a little concerned. I should probably talk to one of my docs and get a prescription for some kind of antacid. Good luck.
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good evening sweet family,
just popping in quickly to say a goodnight to all...really sick (just the creeping crud again)and really tired. I am going to the docs tomorrow for some tests to see what is going on with me. Can't seem to get better.
CY...I'm with Marsha...where are you? A bit worried here and don't like the feeling one bit. You are our sweet sister...we need to know you are ok.
Jasmine rounded up some party animals...too bad that I can barely move tonight...darn...maybe thats what I need...a good stiff drink. Knock this stuff right outta me.
Gina...I knew your site wasn't private and have sent a few girls your way...
Peter...where are you? Thought you were gonna pop in and join the party.
Hello Mary...glad you came back...I do believe posting without the wine is your best bet LOL. God knows what I'd post if I were into the wine...It would most likely make no sense at all. You need to sit down and tell us what you need. Get it out and maybe we can give you some insight or inspiration.
Hi Sheri....off to the docs tomorrow...have a great time at the convention.
Candie...I hope your new meds work better for you. I have a terrible time with hiccups since chemo. Its the weirdest thing...only when I eat breads, crackers, popcorn...anything the least bit dry...I get terrible hiccups. They hurt!
Gracie...sending you a gentle hug.
Nicki...I agree...this site rocks. I would have been lost without the support I had here. I find it a bit harder to see and a bit harder to navigate but I do notice improvements quite often now. I know that if I type in bold I can at least see what I'm typing LOL.
Deb...still looking for ya...
Liz...love ya giggle sister.
Ok...throwing a big blanket over everyone and wishing everyone a wonderful, sweet dream filled night. Too tired to post any more.
Hugs and love all around
Vickie
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Vickie,
You need a nice hot toddy to take to bed with you. Sweet dreams!!!
Cherryl
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Where's CherylinC? We were going to share Bora bora pics and I pmed her but I haven't heard..I'm getting worried..has anyone talked to her?
I've been busy working at medical examiner's office - good thing I didn't have to work overnight yesterday - I would've had a heart attack I'm sure.
I had a very nice pink party before the BC walk here - the table with goodies was all pink and blinky lights - it was so beautiful - of course I forgot to take a pic..but I'll try to post later my team pic from the walk..
You're in my thoughts..hugs to all (((())))
Love Marisa
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HI all sorry to have you worried. As I said the other night sitting at the computer is really hard right now. They are holding my chemo hoping that the old port site will heal. So far it's only got worse! It's starting to open up again, YUCK!
But with holding the chemo the tumors want to grow and they are putting a lot of pressure on my stomach. I can barely eat or drink for the pain. Scott has made me some wonderful baked potatoe soup and I nibble on it a bit at a time.
The changed me from oxycodone to oxycotinine but that doesn't seem to be helping. I've been home most of the week. Other than to check in with the Onc's nurse.
I can't take deep breaths or move quickly. Sitting hurts. But I didn't want to worry you all.
I will try to check back in by Sat.
I'm so glad to hear that Cheri's mam came back normal! Yipee!
Deb C. I'm glad your friends son was found and that the Dr's are working with you on the various things you needed them to go over with you.
I pray Charlene has a quick and easy recovery!
Mary Welcome and we all know how hard it can be to get into written words what we really mean to say. Just take your time and we'll do what we can to help!
Slone Deb, Praying that you can eat more and that the bleeding gets under control. I take the avastin too when things are where they belong. right now they are holding it too.
Love to all and thank you for asking about me. I really must lay down now.
Hugs & Prayers from Amy to Z
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Candie, just wanted to add a note...I also did the CMF with the oral Cytoxan and had problems afterwards..they kept telling me it was acid reflux and I had all the meds for that including protonix...but....it was my gall bladder all along and it took them over a year to find any scan or u/s evidence of it...my surgeon knew but couldn't operate with out clear evidence..so when she took it out she said the gallbladder was just horrid. ... just wanted you to keep that possibility in mind...
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CY - I'm so sorry to hear your feeling so bad. I didn't know things were so hard right now. Praying for that port site to improve so you can restart your meds and get some better control. Push for better pain control. Loudly if you have to. Sending you hugs and prayers.
Slonedeb - I hope today is better for you.
Bugs and fishes (as Deb would say) to all from A to Z
Sue
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Cy-
I am so sorry you are having a rough go of it. Do you remember when we all stood in a circle around you at Pinkstock? Do you remember how that felt, the energy in the air? I want you to close your eyes and remember that power. It is still there, in the air around you, because we are all still holding you up in prayer. Reach out and grab it with both hands.
Dear Lord, Bless our Sister. Heal her body, give rest to her mind. Hold her close and let her feel your presence and your perfect peace. We ask for all of this in Your name, Amen.
Love Ya
Deb C
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CY, I'm so glad you checked in today. I am so sorry you are feeling so badly. I am praying for you! Thanks Deb for the prayer.
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Gracie, I HATED when I had no hair. I wore my wig until it almost didn't fit becauseI felt my hair was still too short, but it does come in and mine is better than it ever was. I lost my Costco card and had to get my picture taken with my wig - time to lose my card again so I don't have to keep looking at my wig.
Brenda, I've been a member of the circle since Gina started it too.
Candie, thinking it's acid reflux.
Nicki, I agree with you - this site was my lifesaver when I was first diagnosed.
Vickie, I still do the cut and paste thing though.
CY, glad you posted; been missing you girl. Please let us know if we can do anything for you.
Hugs to all who are in need of some special comfort.
Margaret
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hello circle family
I find MY LOST POST
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I am having to start over, believe it or not my post was so long that i lost it so here i go with copy and 0aste.
I just wanted to tell Gracie and Mary that they need to pull up a chair or a wagon and sit a spell because you have found a very supportive
group of women and man to help u witth whatever problems you are having. Yes, we fuss and fight but when push comes to shove we rally
around each other and provide the support and strength the sister or brother needs that have the problem. I say hear hear to Peter for his
comments about vicki,whom WE ALLknow aND love. Icant imaagine the circle without vicki. I also am glad to see Peter posting
again who i have found gives genuine support to the people on this thread and deserves the same in return.
To introduce myself to Gracie and Mary, I am Jankay, an 8 yr bc survivor, who credits bco for keeping me sane. Some of my best friends
are here. I know others have said this and others dont quite believe it, but i haVE friends all over the world which i would never had
met if it hadnt been for bc. I also have thed pleasure of having parkinsons, which some who know me might find it sh ocking that i say this.
But these two diseaES HAVE TAUGHT ME the value of friendship, positive thinking, faith AND A SENSE OF HUMOR.
EACH OF THISE THINGS HELP YOU FIGHT ANY PROBLEM IN LIFE NOT JUST DISEASE.
MARY AND GRACIE AND ANY OTHER NEWBIE LURKING- GIVE US A CHANCE
JANKAY0 -
CY,
You are such an amazing lady, and you are in my prayers every day. I hope that whenever you wrap yourself in your Pinkstock quilt, you feel the strength and love of your sisters here. I wish that I could fix this for you...
Love and hugs,
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CY: I am so glad you checked in. Have been worried about you and thinking about you everyday. Swelling from the liver puts pressure on the diaphram which makes it hard to breath. Anyways, wishing you all the best. I know you are scared but we have tucked you way in the middle of the circle - sending all the love and strength we can muster up.
Mary: So very nice to meet you. I dont hang out here much anymore cause work keeps me busy and limits my computer time. Most everyone here in the circle will warm up to you and make you feel welcomed. As time goes on, you will find alot of support from most of us ladies.
OK - gotta go. Time to hit the showers.
Nicki
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(((((CY))))) ... I think about you all the time. I am so so sorry for what you are going through and wish I could come and give you a big gentle hug. You are such a good friend and sister to all of us. I'm praying you get better. This is so unfair to you.
((((Sloanedeb)))) ... I hope you went to the doctor? I'm worried about you. Please don't wait until you can see your onc next week.
((((Gracie))))... I know things are so hard for you right now. I just want to give you a hug. It's hard to think about a year from now when you have to deal with the moment. But hold onto that year from now thought. Time flies and before you know it, it will be here.
Candie ... I hope the medicine you got helps. It's good you're getting the US of the Gallbladder though, just in case.
Mary ... Welcome to the Circle. I can tell how nervous you are but you don't need to be. I lurked a long time before joining and I was welcomed with such warmth. The support and love I found here was unmatched and it became my lifeline. I'm sure you'll find the same.
Thanks to all of you thinking and praying for my surgery and recovery. I'm managing pretty well. A little fuzzy and tired from the meds so I'm not posting much. Take care everyone. Hi to BooSue and everyone else.
Love and hugs,
Charlene
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Thank you Deb for the prayer. CY, so glad you checked in. I so wish there was something I could do for you but just know that I am praying for you and hoping your port issue heals up soon so you can get back to the chemo.
Lisa, good suggestion on the gallbladder. My dad had his removed and he had some of the same symptoms.
Charlene, glad to hear from you, is Karl taking good care of you? He sure is a sweetie.
Nicki, can you get up at the butt crack of dawn so we hear from you more? Just kidding. Your posts always make me smile.
Margo yes you need to lose your costco card again cause from what I can see you are sooooooo beautiful. Who wants to be reminded of those hairless days? Oh BTW, can I slip into your luggage and go to Hawaii with you? I promise to be no trouble, I don't take up much room. You leave on Sunday?
Mary welcome to the circle.
Sheri, when does your show open? It must be soon right? Sounds like you are enjoying your teacher conference.
Hey Boo/Sue!! You must be keeping really busy and I am glad to hear that.
Hugs all around, Marsha
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