Illinois ladies facing bc
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I too live in Illinois - so may I join in your thread?
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Hello, 2new1s! That is hard to remember. Anyway, weclome, and tell us about yourself.
JulieB, the gift from your son is delightful. Wasn't he the one who made something for the derby? You just may have an engineer or an architect growing up with you! He really gets spatial stuff!
Black Jack, you are on my mind and have been for the last two days. I hope that the throat is better. That lake is calling you!
LittleC, that thing is UGLEEEEEEE! I told my husband that one of the ladies had a shrew in the house. He insisted it was a bird. I told him he was wrong. He said that we get the word shrew from the Shakepeare....taming of the shrew...........and it was a bird. A very loud and cackling bird at that. I love when he insists he is right and he isn't. So I googled it and showed him that ugly shrew. So then he starts insisting that it is also a bird. I told him his "task" for the day is to find proof that a shrew is also a bird.
Rita, I am counting the days and I have 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ginny, hope you feel better soon. I hear the new Jodi Picout book is her best. Did I spell that correctly?
Susan
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Ginny - Hope you're feeling better...hang in there.
2NEW1S - Welcome..! These girls are great!
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Hope you're all having a nice day!
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I'm copying what Laura typed....2NEWS1S of course you may join us. What part of Illinois? A great many of the girls here are from the Chicago area. A few of us are in south central area and I and a few others yet are in southern Ill ( I just snuck in on the tip ) around the Mt. Vernon area....this is roughly 4-5 hours south of Chicago. A varied group....here for each other....and here for anyone who would like to share with us.
Ginny --- we never talked much --- maybe not at all, but I care very much about you and hope you will soon get some control of your pain and any se's you are having. I am sending healing thoughts and prayers and hoping you feel better soon.
13 days ---double yay Susan. In no time at all your going to be counting minutes on that last day.
Talk to you all later. Feel well everyone.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Hello Gals, I thought I had picked up a bug from my kids, that was why I was running a low fever and not feeling well. Yesterday I starting having blood in my urine. Alot. I went in today and they said I had a very serious bacteria infection. They are sending it to be tested to make sure the anitbiotic I am on will fight it. Maybe thats why I am so sore, I thought it was from surgery. Also my boss called yesterday. I am a special Ed teachers aide. She said my 6 weeks were up and that she needed me to write a letter of resigination as of tomorrow. She was very anxious for it. She even wanted to come over and pick it up. This confused me. I have always been a good worker and get along well with everyone. I didnt think they could make us cancer patients do that. Mousey me never questioned it. I just did as I was told.
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Oh my god, Buddy- she CAN'T DO THAT!! At the very least, you get TWELVE WEEKS per year with the Family Medical Leave Act -
http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/
If you have not used up your 12 weeks since last year, then call her up and rescind your resignation!
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JanClare. Really ....T The only thing I can think of is they plan on using my replacement again for next year. I am so very hurt because I was such a good worker, put in lots of extra time w/o pay always was the one to ment any trouble going on. I was the peace keeper. I had all good comments rom parents. They gave me huge party when I left. Now this. I dont know what to do. Should I just call them and ask if I dont have 6 more weeks coming. What is realy sad is there are only 2 more weeks of school left.
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Buddy..sent you a pm
Blackjack
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Buddy:
Do not sign anything. By not signing you are getting time to sort this through. If you already signed something, rescind it with a letter to the Board of Education that you wish to remain employed. If possible, get over sad and disappointed and move into mad (for awhile). Ask them why you are being fired. No one can be fired because they have cancer....I had trouble with my own administration and I looked into into my rights. I got mad! And I got my rights. Just know your legal rights and by god, let them know you know your legal rights.
Damn, it is hard, but get strong on this. We are here.
Susan
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ZAP, I GUESS YOU ARE RIGHT. WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS TO A BC PATIENT. MAYBE THEY THINK I AM A HIGH RISK FOR TAKING TIME OFF IN THE FUTURE. I REALLY SHOULD NOT BE JUSTIFYING THIS FOR THEM. THANK YOU, I WILL CALL HR IN THE MORNING. I WORK IN A SMALL LITTLE COUNTRY TOWN. MAYBE THEY ARE NOT UP TO DATE ON EVERYTHING.
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Buddy - you have been through so much! I was just reading about your infection and then the firing! I so feel for you. You should not have to deal with this. Yes, you should have 12 weeks of FMLA coming to you. I think you have to apply for it and maybe they didn't want you to figure that out. I think they could be in serious trouble!
You will be in my thoughts!
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Just a quick check in to catch up on everything and everyone.
We are back from our vacation and the first 10.5 days were perfection in every way....the last 4 days not quite so. Both my husband and I got very ill in Guatemala, we picked up a water borne bacterial intestinal infection and ended up in quarantine with fevers of 103+, relentless vomiting and diarrhea and stomach pain. We literally got out of bed to get home a couple of days ago. Its hard now to find my groove and get back into the very long hours that I work.
I cannot believe it but I have my first post op mammogram scheduled in just 4 weeks....how can it be possible that I am already at the six month mark....that will make for some very tense moments but hopefully the outcome will be exactly as I expect it to be.
I have tried to spend a little time catching up on whats going on with everyone....I care so much about each and everyone of you and if there is anything I can do or anyway I can be of help I am always just a shout away. I keep you all in my prayers and I am SO impressed by the strength and joyfulness of this group of women. I havent made my final decision about the May classes cause they are starting next week and I am still on meds for another ten days for this infection but if I go I will pass everything on to all of you.
On a very positive note , I did a two week cruise and LOST WEIGHt !!!!! yea !!!!!!! If I can figure it out I will post a couple of pics as soon as we get them downloaded. Hope to see many of you sometime this summer !!!!
Buddy hang tough.....you DO have rights, and FMLA is one of them !!!!
love and best wishes to everyone of you today and always
jan
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Welcome home Jan and welcome back here. Gosh, sure sounded like things got pretty touchy there at the end. Guatemala is just like Mexico with the water I guess. Stick with Margarita's....you would have been ok.
Very nice that you are home...but do rest and get your sea legs back.
Buddy -- just un-believable ---- you so remind me of that silly saying..."If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all ". Just seems that no matter in what direction you are standing some sort of challenge almost immediately presents itself. This segment of your life is really going to be hard to explain --- so many events, one right on top the other. It sure seems like though you have hung on for the ride really well --- so un-complaining and willing to see it all through. You have my deep admiration. I hope you will be able ( though your condition is a little less than adequate ) to resolve this dilemma that has caught you unaware and come out on top anyway. This is shameful.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
Hugs to all and lots of healing.
Jackie
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Buddy... My goodness.. too much goin on !!!!First .. legally with the job, this HAS to be wrong!!!! Do as everyone here says and tell then this is not legal and that you have all intention to come back in Sept. I sub and know that i can go back when i can. So sorry , i hope they did not get to you to sign anything.
You are in a resting mode and should as the infection now needs to be dealt with.The emotional part of all of this is enough and know now with this job thing hurts.They are probably trying to cover themselves up ,in case you are not coming back. Nevertheless, you have legal rights and the ladies here that know, listen and heed to their advice!!!
Welcone back Jan!! Sorry you and your hubby got ill in Guatalmala.
A question, eye twitching..is that from chemo? ?Happens enough to bug me!!! Also, once you have a bilateral surgery, one wth just implants.. can tumors still occur? Anyone know?
Raining and stormy day.. glad i did not get plants yet. Hope all of you are well!!! Laundry fairy is off today and you are ALL on your own..loolol.!!!
Hugs,
Donna
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WELCOME 2news1!!!!!sorry.. i am forgetful.. hope you come back in and share your story,i am on my second round of chemo and had a mx/double in Jan 09. Great group here and know you will get great support here,
Ginny...You are goin to be ok as you are a fighter and know that all of this is tough at times, but somehow the support here will give you all the love and genuine support you need to carry you thru. You certainly are doin all that you possibly can do and that is courgage and strength!!!!SE's are not easy and feel for you.Try to press forward and rest where you can.
Donna
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Welcome 2new1s......Please tell us all about yourself.....where you're located, where you're at in treatment, your family, and anything else that you'd like us to know. The women on this thread are awesome and we're glad you joined us.
Buddy, does the support group at your school belong to a Union? If so, contact you Union rep immediately. If not, I agree with JanClare and Susan. Do not sign anything. That will buy you time to find out your rights, which they seem to be trying to take away. If you have signed something, do exactly what Susan suggested. Write a letter to the Board of Education rescinding the signature and requesting reinstatement. This is terrible! It is just what you DON'T NEED right now! Stick up for yourself and if you don't have the energy, find somebody who will help you stick up to them. HUGS!
Oh Jan! What a terrible end to your vacation! We have been wondering when you'd arrive home so we're glad to see you back and so sorry that it had to have such a bad finale!
Well I think the rain has moved in for the morning so I probably won't be golfing today! I guess that means I should go to work and pick up some more of the weekend clutter and then write some questions and make some cash! LOL
I'll check back in later. Tonight is my last Wednesday night church youth group until September. YEA! I'm taking my gang for pizza so I don't even have to teach! I guess I'm not suppose to be so happy about this being over, am I?
Rita
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Wherefore Art Thou Wendy.....I'm missing you and the graphics. Did I miss some vacation plans or something.
Gosh Rita....central and southern Illinois sounds like it is not going to be too good weather wise today. Wish you did not even have to go out tonight. Oh well --- this is Illinois and "the time of yr."for these sorts of things.
I may or may not be back over to the other side of the lake. I have more to do. Took yesterday off to spend with my friend from Possum Lane --- one Lane over from me. Did not realize we would do the whole day. Hmmm, well now and then you just have to cater to a friend. Nothing special -- we were just having one of those days where just talking quietly together and enjoying the sun and all the shades of fresh Spring green growth keeps beckoning and capturing your attention and it is just not time just yet to walk away. Very peaceful, relaxing day...for both of us.
Buddy, do hang in there and Rita has a good suggestion --- if your not feeling totally up to par enlist a friend to greatly assist you into wading into this challenge.
Thinking about each and every one of you today....Bj, JanClare,Ginny, Renee,LittleC,Donna, WendyTY,MaryJane, Julie/Chicago,---well, just all of you. Hope you have a great day --- and weather is not too much of a factor -- unless it's good.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Morning my pets! Yep...still here! Just didn't get time in the am to post, then was doing outside work last 2 days as I knew the rain was coming. Not much new around here and no vacay plans, Jacks!:Little C ----A SHREW????? Oh yuck and in your house!!!! YUCK!!! I did however see a skunk strolling down the hill behind my house at 6am so I rapped on the window until he turned around and ran away. Just what I need - a skunk spraying my deck.
Blackjack - how are you feeling? Any results from your various and sundry tests?
Buddy - DON'T YOU DARE SIGN THAT LETTER OF RESIGNATION!!!!! That is so illegal I cannot believe it!!!! HELLO!!!!!! You call HR TODAY and report her! That is a a huge reason for HER to be dismissed. FMLA!!!!!!!! I called DH (he's a principal) and he laughed - and said your boss must really want to be fired - OR - thinks that you are too "sick" and won't bother checking these things out. He also said - DON'T SIGN ANYTHING !!!!!!!
Jackie - glad you got some tx for your foot. How's it looking?
Jan - you go on a 2 week cruise and lose weight?????? Wow! What cruise was that? I am immediately booking passage!
2New1s - welcome to the club that no one wanted to join! Of course you can join us but be warned - we are very supportive, very informative - but we all are a bit wacky. Not me of course - I am perfectly sane. Please tell us a bit more about yourself - maybe you live right near one of us as we are pretty spread out!
I have more of you to chat with but I see the rain has let up a bit and I want to run out to super taget - I will check back later. Be well, and stay dry! Hugs!
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Some tension is necessary for the soul to grow, and we can put that tension to good use. We can look for every opportunity to give and receive love, to appreciate nature, to heal our wounds and the wounds of others, to forgive, and to serve.
-- Joan Borysenko0 -
Good morning ladies... just catching up on posts & saying hi!!
JulieB - love the Walle!! What talent
Buddy - Just wanna send u a hug after reading everything you are going through.
Jan - oh boy, what an end to the trip!! Sorry to hear about that - glad you are doing better.
Ginny - sending warm thoughts your way.
Welcome to the new ladies - MamaQ and 2new1s
Rita, Jackie, Wendy, Laura, Donna, Susan, Mich101, Blackjack, Connie - and anyone I'm missing - hi to you all.
I have my 2nd interview for med transcriptionist today. Fingers crossed! I just wanna be done with the job search & get a little moola rolling in. Momma needs to shop!
Onco had me stop Tamoxifen due to photosensitivity/allergic reaction (we're talking red, burning, itching, peeling, swollen face and neck after only a few minutes in the sun with SPF15)... it took me about 4 weeks to deduce that it was the Tamox; interestingly, it started after I got a new refill; same manufacturer, but I still suspect something was changed in the formulation.. hmmm!
Oooh and I have my fun Stress-Echo on Friday - just to take a peek at the old ticker
My mom is hanging in there - she's got a nurse coming to her house (phew, makes me feel better!) and wearing a monitor, etc.
That's the news from my little corner of the world.. lol.
Take care everyone - Juliet
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Hi ladies ~ Thank you for the warm welcome! I live in Minooka, right next to Joliet & Plainfield. I am 37, married with 2 kids, 16 year old DS from a previous marriage & a 23 month old DD with current husband. I had my BM in Feb 09. Due to complications with the TE, I had a debridement surgery on 2/26. The infection continued to turn into a staph infection, thus causing me to loose the right TE. As of now I have the left TE, getting fills every weeks since Feb. The right TE replacement surgery has been scheduled for 6/11. FINALLY! Since I elected for the BM there is no treatment plan - just the long reconstruction process.
Buddy ~ I have to also agree w/ everyone that you should not resign if you did not use all of your FMLA time. I previously worked in HR and know that it is your right by LAW to have those weeks off with no questions as long as your doctor completed the FMLA paperwork. Please keep us updated as to what they do from this point. Not to be nosy - just concerned for you & your rights!
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2new1s - WELCOME while I am sorry you had to even be on bc.org at all, I'm glad you made it to this thread!
Honestly, it got me through so much with simple words of encouragement here and there. Really makes all the difference in healing. Staph infection... ouch! That's a nasty one. Glad it's cleared up. 0 -
LittleC ~ Yes the Staph infection was awful! Spent five days in the hospital after the TE removal surgery.
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Ginny - close your eyes, take a few deep breaths & BELIEVE the bad cells are getting their @sses kicked by the good ones. I'm sending good vibes your way- hang in there.
Buddy1 - They can't do that. Even if you signed something saying you resign, you can probably say you acted while under terrible distress (if cancer isn't distress, nothing is) and "take it back".
WendyK - a skunk? Aaaaawww they are so cute. Hee hee
julieB - love love LOVE the Wall-E you got for mother's day! Tell your son I said it looks JUST like Wall-E.
RitaJean - I've always wondered why there aren't summer church youth classes. That's when kids could use it! Help keep their brains going & help keep them out of trouble....
Zap - I think I would have wet myself it that thing started flying too! men think they know everything, then never admit when they are wrong. ugh
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Thank you girls for allof you support and thank you Wendy for checking in to it for me. I dont know what I would do without you girls.
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Buddy....Just cannot beleive they are pulling this!!!!!Just know you have rights!!!Reading all that can be done, you need to do it! Keep us posted..sorry you are goin thru so much.
Many Healing Hugs,
Donna
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Hey ladies-
I hope I'm not like that friend who only calls when she needs something.
I always keep up to date on you and your words of wisdom but I sometimes don;t want to intrude on your wonderful banter and advice. I saw an oncologist today. I had thought from conversations with him and with the surgeon that I was going to have to have chemo. Based on the fact that they found micrometastisis in 1 of 2 SNB's during my BLM, two weeks ago. However, today he said based on this research that he did (Came out Oct 09) that it shows that my DCIS with microinvasion with micromets in SNB, only have to take tamoxifen, no chemo. I know that this should be good news but I'm afraid to not to do more. I had an uncle that had kidney removed for cancer, doc said no chemo necessary and 5 years later he had 6 brain mets. I just want to do everything I can. I do have a second opinion appointment, already scheduled for tomorrow, but I wanted to know what you guys think?
jo
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Jo....I hope you will feel comfortable about coming here any time. As to your question....I would get a second opinion anytime you feel any discomfort over any of your tx options. There are two things that come to my mind....that your nodes did the job they were meant for, and I am also assuming that plenty of tests were done and your Oncologist feels certain that all the other tests were negative for any cancer cells. The Tamoxifen is a SERM -- Selective Estrogen Receptor Modulator. I think that means basically that it gets into the cell before any cancer cells can and therefore prevents cancer cells from being able to feed....and they just die.
I'm sure there are good reasons why your first Oncologist feels you do not have to be any more agressive in your case so hope the second Oncologist will be able to give you a few more explanations. I do feel that ( is it ever really enough though ) lots of research has been done in this area and if the cancer is caught at a very early stage the thinking has been --- especially with a BMx that there is not much that you can do. I think all chemotherapies are targeted to what your pathology report said. That seems to be that you only have very minute spots in one node only.
At this stage, I don't know what they would or could give you.....any other chemo would only be used if there were I think an aggressive fast growing cancer and generally that could only happen if you were somewhere past the DCIS point. Some people have called DCIS pre-cancer, but I don't agree with that. DCIS only means it is small, not yet aggressive and not to a point where it can be given a Stage or a Grade. I know one lady who had DCIS found early....she had a lumpectomy of it, and then got the new/old but new again radiation where she went for a week twice a day....and she is more than likely back on an AI...but I don't know that. She ( in spite of having an earlier bout of BC several years ago ) was very comfortable with this as treatment. It was due to having found the DCIS very, very early that she was given this tx option and she and her Oncologist throughly discussed the matter.
Hopefully some one else ( I'm not very knowledgeable about all of this ) will jump in her too and give you some more ideas.
Will be thinking about you tomorrow and hope you might share with us what the outcome may be. We are good at hand-holding here.
Hugs
Jackie
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Jo, I think you have to do what you feel is right for you. However, you also have to remember that the doctors have to balance if the treatment effectiveness is worth the toxic side effects of the chemo. If the percentages don't warrant the chemo, if your chances of recurrence is low, then they don't want to put you through that chemo. I know that we all want to blast this cancer out of our body, and feel like we have done everything- but you really don't want to cut off your arm if a few stitches will do, ya know?? There is that chance that it may come back, but that could happen even if you have chemo. Good luck with whatever you decide- and I hope you like Dr. T.
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I also wanted to ask something for Buddy- after reading up more on this, I have to ask if you know if you are qualified for FMLA with your hours and the number of employees?
The Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows "eligible" employees to take off up to 12 work weeks in any 12 month period for the birth or adoption of a child, to care for a family member, or if the employee themselves has serious health condition.
An "eligible" employee is an employee who has been employed by the employer for a least 12 months and worked at least 1,250 hours. The 12 months do not need to be consecutive. You are only an "eligible" employee if your employer employs 50 or more employees within 75 miles of the worksite.
FMLA can be taken on an intermittent basis allowing the employee to work on a less than full-time schedule.
The employee is entitled to have their benefits maintained, but they must continue to pay their portion during the leave. The employee also has the right to return to the same or equivalent position, pay, and benefits at the conclusion of their leave.
If you don't qualify- don't give up hope. You also have rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act: They may have to give you leave as a reasonable accommodation, unless they can prove that giving you that leave would constitute an undue hardship to the company. I don't see how not having a special ed aide would be an undue hardship.
http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/cancer.html
17.��� May an employer automatically deny a request for leave from someone with cancer because the employee cannot specify an exact date of return?
No. �Granting leave to an employee who is unable to provide a fixed date of return may be a reasonable accommodation.� Although many types of cancer can be successfully treated -- and often cured -- the treatment and severity of side effects often are unpredictable and do not permit exact timetables. An employee requesting leave because of cancer, therefore, may be able to provide only an approximate date of return (e.g., "in six to eight weeks," "in about three months").� In such situations, or in situations in which a return date must be postponed because of unforeseen medical developments, employees should stay in regular communication with their employers to inform them of their progress and discuss the need for continued leave beyond what originally was granted.� The employer also has the right to require that the employee provide periodic updates on his condition and possible date of return.� After receiving these updates, the employer may reevaluate whether continued leave constitutes an undue hardship.
I had to get leave for my bc surgery under the "reasonable accommodation" part of the Disabilities Act because my employer had (without my approval) applied my 12 weeks of FML when I was out for a workman's comp claim- you should be able to do the same. I do know a little bit about this, so I'll be happy to help.
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Jackie- Thanks for the help. I know I should be happy at that but I just want to be sure. I guess I will just be patient until I see the other doctor and see what he says. Patience is not my strongest virtue at times.
Jan- Thanks, I know what you mean about the stitches. I will just be patient until I see what Dr. T has to say. I like Dr. T. (I can spell that) Thanks for the update on him. It helps.
Jo
P.S. I bet this second guessing everything never goes away now, does it?
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