Illinois ladies facing bc
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Donna I hate the storms. The Tornado that hit last summer went right over my house and touched down about a mile from me. The garden is too wet to rototill. Planting will have to wait. I can't believe you are going to pass me up on chemo treatments...Good for you. Get R Done. My bleeding finally stopped yesterday. Hope the infection is going away.
I am so glad to hear taxotere is doable. It wont be long untill I start.
Why do bunnies pick the worst place to nest. We have a bunch of them on the side of the porch and now I have to keep the dog away. Maybe its safer from coyotes.
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Mary! YEA! I'm so glad that you checked in and that you are doing well! I have thought of you so often. What craft show will you be doing in Lincoln in July? I might just drive down and find you! I love craft shows. I always hit the Clinton Apple and Pork Fest, Spoon River Drive and the Indiana Bridge Festivals! Thanks for popping on to let us know that all is well with you in Taylorville. Congrats on the five years! Did you take Tamoxifan or Arimidex and if so, are you done with it now or have you continued to take it?
Enjoy the summer!
Rita
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Morning! OK Laura...I am the Weather Girl! Rainy here right now, with peeks of sun, then more rain...temp 56.
Ginny......let us know how you do witht he Zometa infusion. I am very interested in that. Moving to SC???? Wow. And yes, make sure your house is big enuf 'cause next winter, you will be having company!
Donna.....I actually iron very well! As a little girl, I thought it was fun. Yes. I know. I was a strange child.
Blackjack - how are you????? And yes, the beach chairs are calling! I really think DH and I need to move to a beach...I hated this last winter and change is good, correct? Then, after you all visit Ginny you guys can come on down to Florida and visit me! I will have a pool!
Gotta scoot as I am late, late, late to the gym! Will check back later!
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Hey everyone-
It's official. The second oncologist gave me the complete opposite treatment plan. He wants to 6 round of chemo every three weeks. TAC. He says that he feels that the research the other onco looked at was not in depth enough. Only 3 of the 29 patients, were exactly like me, and he did not feel comfortable basing my treatment on three people. I tend to always play the better safe than sorry route, so I will probably go with no 2. But the whole chemo thing scares me and I'm feeling extremely guilty for the kids. I know that kind of dumb, but I feel bad for ruining their summer. My husband, says that he's sure that they'd rather give up one summer so that we can have more together, but their kids. Their not always that practicle. Is it normal to feel guilty and to be scared of chemo?
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Off topic-- comic relief
Hi all,
Just thought I'd throw in some off topic Friday comic relief. Yesterday, at noon, I get a call from the school principal. She assures me first that my son is alright (heard that catch in my voice) and then proceeds to tell me he will be in detention tomorrow. He and two other boys at lunch recess decided it was easier to pee in the playground than to go inside to the bathrooms. So there is my son, in the middle of the playground, peeing into a sewer grate. Aaarrgh!! A couple of girls saw them- and went screaming to a lunch monitor. Son tells the principal that he thought it was ok because a few weeks ago at a park (on bikes and far from home), his dad had instructed him in this emergency situation to "pee like a raccoon" in some hidden bushes. Little did we know that he would translate this to assuming it was okay elsewhere. We, of course, spoke with him very seriously about it last night, but I did have to work hard at keeping the corner of my mouth down. Once we got the full story, it became apparent that there was a ringleader who encouraged the other two boys to join him. All three sets of parents were calling each other last night. I am guessing this is just the beginning of what should prove to be an interesting academic career for my little guy.... Meanwhile, my four year daughter informed me curtly this am that I am no longer to call her "Princess."" Rather, she prefers "Madam." Uh boy.
-julie b
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Hey Jo! It is SO normal to be afraid of chemo. I was so afraid of the actual treatment that I made myself literally sick before I went to my first one. Then I realized that the actual treatment was nothing. They sat me in a recliner, inserted the IV and I just sat there while the meds dripped in. It's that unknown factor. I, too went the safe route with the chemo. I didn't want to second-guess myself later and ask what if. Hugs to you. These decisions are hard. Your children will surprise you with their adaptability to your situation. We will help you through this journey!
Rita
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Julie, I hope you are writing down all these hilarious things your kids have said or done in a book for them for later years. Kids are the greatest and I enjoy your stories! You just gotta love kids!
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Hey Rita, I have probably ran into you at one of the events because we do the Apple and Pork fest. We were at Country Junction. We were in Az. and unable to do Spoon River but was there the year before at Crafters Corner in the gym in Farmington. I know we will be at the Balloon Fest. in Aug. and I think there is something flea market in July in Lincoln. I have to call and check on that. They have changed things up there. I am not on any meds now as I was not harmone receptive but I was her/2 3+. I did a year of heceptin but did not start the herceptin for 6 months after ending chemo because it was not on the market yet. I have one more Onky visit with the every 6 months and I can go to once a year so yea on that. I can honestly say I still have some Chemo brain and thats o.k. because I would rather blame that as my age for my forgetfulness. The walking on marbles feeling finally went away but I have neuropathy in legs and feet but it is better than 3 years ago. I still have some muscle pain and squeeky joints but then I am 55 so maybe that plays a role.That all gets better when I visit my daughter in Az.so maybe the Il. weather brings some of that on. I think my eyes never really came back to normal but I keep my 5 pairs of reading glasses hid from myself all over the house because even when they are on my head I just can't remember where I left them. Half the time I have to get a pair at Wally and walk around with the cardboard on the side so I can shop then I give them to the checkout gal after I do my debit card. I am a dork! I think the fear of B.C. returning gets better but there is a little cloud that just stays parked and it reminds us how important and wonderful life and family is and how quickly it all can change..It is just too bad everyone can't appreciate life like we do now. Normal for me is all new since B.C. I get anxious when I have to go to the Dr. because we know our life can be turned upside down when we least expect. I have never lost the "15" pounds my Oky told me I would put on. I have tried but hey I am tall and frankly I like myself so I am not over weight and I really don't care. People say how "great" I look and they mean how I have gained weight and don't look like death anymore. I was always a bean pole. No more! I did loose like 5 pounds after chemo but that 15 just hangs on like a loose tooth. Well I will check in and hope everyone is doing well today. Looks like some strong storms for us again tonight. We are to do a craft show today and tomorrow but we will probably just do tomorrow. Jewelry can really fly in wind and last year we were in a tornado, well we got inside but our tent was and I was picking up jewelry all over town. Have a great one in between storms and rain. Mary
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MamaQ - So glad you have a plan. As Rita mentioned....it is very scary to start chemo txs. I would venture to guess that 99 % of us had many terror-filled hours leading up to our first time in a chemo chair. It does end up being very anti-climatic and you usually wonder later how you could have gotten so scared over it --- and it is probably left-over fear from the diagnosis we have had that came out of the blue. I would also venture to say that at least 99 % of us never 'saw' cancer being a part of our life either. It was the farthest thing from my mind. We will help you through whatever you go through......and the best thing to me is to be aggressive. We don't know what the future really holds, but at least if we do all we can......we won't have to look back and maybe blame ourselves for not doing more when the possibility existed. The kids really are resilient -- and you want to be around and healthy for them through all the milestones they are going to have --- this is your insurance that you are doing your utmost to make that happen.
Mary1220 - You sound busy and happy. And something good did happen with your wt. gain and I wouldn't mind either in your case. We are by the way looking at another bad storm here tonight....sure don't like that idea. Be glad when we get through all this and have things a little quieter and dryer. In no time then....we will be back to praying for rain. Can't win, can we???
See you all later with a quote.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Mary, we've been going to crafter's corner in Farmington since they started exhibiting there so I'm sure I went by your booth. I'll connect with you as these shows get closer and see where you are going to be. I think that anyone who's done as well as you have done with this journey needs a great big hug from somebody else who is trying to follow in your footsteps. Have a great weekend. We are supposed to play golf in a bc benefit in Rushville tomorrow so I hope the weather clears.
Hugs to you.......
Rita
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MamaQ: What a dilemmna! Go with your gut, as it looks like you are doing! Chemo for some is not that awful. It is pretty awful for a few days each cycle, but many people have few problems afterthose first rocky ones. Are your kids small? Do you have to drive them around to get to places? Maybe this summer you could delegate that to another person. I know that many people asked me what they could could do to help me. Be honest and have a list ready on how people can help. Maybe ask them to drive your kids somewhere on days when you may need to nap. Perhaps you could make a list of the summer lifestyle your kids would like to have and then be ready to accept the help that will come your way. Moms would rather do everything themselves, but maybe you just cannot this one summer. When people ask what they can do, a few do not pull through, but most appreciate concrete ideas on ways to make it life work for your family. Your DH sounds so nice and understanding.
Susan
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Rita, Jackie, and Suan- Thank you for sharing your experiences and for letting me know that the feelings are normal. And I should know that children are resilient and will bounce back. We have already been witness to this resilence. And as for DH, I definately got one of the good ones. He is always supportive and luckily loves me for me. I don't know what I'd ever do without him. I have learned to accept some help and I guess I better learn to do it for a while longer.
jo
P.S. My surgeon called this morning and said if he was confused after talking to the two onco's then I must really be confused. He asked about doing the oncotype dx test (is that what it's called) and will be presenting my case at tumor board. He said he wants to make sure I have all the information before I make a decision. I lucked out in the surgeon department.
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Hi ladies -
Happy Birthday Smerf! Hope it was a good one.
Juliet - sincere congratulations! You have worked hard for this job and seriously what a great accomplishment in this economy! You go girl!!
MamaQ - I think you are doing the right thing. I was also scared to death of chemo, but it turned out ok. You will be surprised at how much you can do this summer. I went through the entire summer on chemo and during that time I went camping in New Mexico and spent many weekends on our boat in Michigan! Other than my hair being gone, my kids kind of forgot about it. It was tough at times, but I made it through and the kids had a good summer. Some others on this thread had a hard time with chemo so that is a possibility but it is not a given. You may be ok - they have lots of drugs to give you to help with the side effects. How old are your kids again?
Hi to everyone I have missed. Heading out to Florida on Tuesday - can't wait!!! I hope you all have a great time at dinner.
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HI Girls, Well I just wanted to ck in and say hi. I am in Iowa for my niece's graduation. Well I am the house bunny this weekend...party, party and more party. These are good kids so I am not worried. They all have worked so hard for the last four year they deserve to party. I am in the process of turning their apt into a Hawaiian beach..chair in all. They will be in beach wear which is required. lol I hope I can last the weekend....I may need a vacation after this..lol
I hope you all have a great weekend...hope we have some sunshine too.
Remember to be healthy ..be happy
Blackjack
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Conniehar- Thanks for the insight. I think I was thinking that the whole summer would be a wash. I guess, I need to let our friends and family do some of the fun things over the summer, and try not to be too sad to not be involved. The sun wasn't a problem? My kids are 12,11,9, and 2. She's hard because she doesn't understand and still needs the attention. The 12 year old (boy) is having a hard time because he's very angry. He's very protective of me (even though he's the one that I butt heads with the most.) Go figure! Can you believe that the onc just sent me a email because he heard from the surgeon that I was confused, and wanted to know if there is anything that he could do to clarify anything? I think that was pretty awesome. Not many would care unless I called him.
Anyways, have a fun in Florida. Seeing Mickey? My kids would be so jealous. Our only vacations are camping.
Blackjack- For some reason, your post made me sing, "You put a lime in the coke, and then you drink it all down." Is that how that goes? Anyways, there's nothing better than a good beach party. Have fun!
Jo
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Here is a quote I ran across that I absolutely loved and wanted to share with the rest of you.......
HOPE is the thing with FEATHERS that perches in the SOUL and sings the tune without WORDS and never stops at all.
- by Emily Dickinson
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MAMAQ.. You already reveived great info here. Thing i want to add.. as i am goin on my third treatment (Wed), of TC and 4 altogether.There was no one as scared as I was and dreaded it all. The truth is, now that i am in it, it is all doable. The first few days after treatment i needed rest but after that have good days and have a life. I rest during the day as needed.Your kids will adjust as they see that their MOM is handling it the best as she can and when you need to rest, that is what they will see as Mom taing care of herself. Like Susan said, delegate help if need be for those times you will rest.
We are goin away in our RV the weekend before my last tx to Michigan and plan to drive to NY to see my DAD, 2 weeks after my last tx. You can have a life durng chemo, the drugs they give is everthing and you will know how it goes by the first tx and the rest follow pretty much the same,Another good thing, maybe the treatment plan will be goin faster emotionally as summer you have these avctrivties and camping, you can have some good downtime and rest, and kids can entertain themselves, riiding their bikes and playing with other kids at the site?!
Good weekend for planting??? Am getting ready mentally for tx 3 and staying positive as i just know it is a journey and have alot of feelings and not sure what this is about. Tried journaling but am seeing anger again. There is alot of emotions i am not able to process and chemo brain is not helping as i cannot get it out as i think i need too?!Weird.
Stay dry.. and goin out side to do a sun dance!!!
Donna
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Morning! Cloudy with a brisk breeze, temp holding at 57.Blackjack - this guy's for you! Hope you have a "relatively" quiet weekend!
Jo - it's hard, isn't it, when docs don't agree! The oncotype test would be a great tool to help you decide. Most ins. now pays for it and it might give you a clearer answer. There is also (and someone please correct me if I get this wrong...) adjuventonline.com...you plug in your stats and see what comes up. When you try and sign on it will ask you if you are a professional - just say yes. Deciding on chemo is hard for all of us I think as we tend to picture ourselves as that chemo patient depicted on TV and in movies, bald and a skeleton with huge sunken cheek bones, puking constantly. That is sure what I thought I would be. And.....nothing. I know I was lucky - no real se's and kept up with everything. Sure, I got the bad taste in my mouth for days and I hated the steroids as they tied my stomach up in knots for about 5 days each cycle. But....ot was doable. A word you will come to hate. Doable. What the heck does that mean anyway????? Doable. But it was. Someone here talked about little kidss going thru chemo and if they can do it, we can do it. I never looked at it that way but it's true. There's pretty much nothing we can't do, if we just go ahead and do it. I don't have kids so I don't have the other side of your dilemma bu tI agree that kids are adaptable and resilient. Just be honest as is appropriate for their age and it should be fine. Glad too that you lucked out in the DH department!
JulieB - OMG! Kids! I hope like Rita says you are writing these things down! Madam! too funny!
Donna - after this next one - ONE TO GO!!!! You are almost there!!!!! Yay!!!!
Carol/Berrypatch - where the heck are you??? Working hard and catching up I guess....
Time for my second cup....Have a great Saturday everyone!
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When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you
don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and
trust the engineer.
- Corrie Ten Boom, 1892 - 19870 -
Morning and a little southern Illinois weather....oh the rain, lightning and thunder again last night. It will be ? cloudy ? today, but the important part is ---ta-da no more rain for the next week. There definitely is a God.
Wendy - Doable...hmmm, when did I start to not like that word --- I think when I got cancer requiring chemo. However, it does get you right where you need to be immediately. It is short and to the point....but still probably forever linked for me to the word cancer and not a word that I can just hear and not feel a reacting.
Speaking somewhat to that subject....I might as well get it out. Watched Farah's Story last night. Did not know if I could and a couple times I thought I might have to turn it off. It is and was heart-wrenching. The point in it that I would like to make ( always bearing in mind it was anal cancer and we have less awareness of that ) was toward the end of the story and the end of what seemed a good remission....she finally took the chemo that caused hair loss. Jo, and others....I'm sure anal and bc have lots of differences.....and only when presented the information for your OWN personal diagnosis can you really decide but the Big BUT to me here was I will forever be left to wonder..............how might things have been if Farah had done the chemo that takes your hair first. Even though her ( hair ) was so very, very much about who she is....she made a living and had a career very closely aligned with beautiful hair. Still....it hit me like a ton of bricks.....she chose a treatment and kept choosing them til' the bitter end based on preserving her hair......and now she does not have her hair and no one knows for sure how long she will be with us. Ok, there I said it and I feel better. and what I am definitely saying here is that I feel so for this woman, but.........we are NOT our hair, or eyes or skin, Or so many of the other things that are a part of us. In fairness to Farah, I can see how she might have had at the outset a terrifically strong reluctance to do anything destructive to what so defined her for most of her life but this means nothing to your soul, to your spirit, to your will to live...your will and spirit do not thrive because you have beautiful skin, a dazzling smile or gorgeous hair or any other thing which brings definition to the body. So, I am left to wonder --- did it matter and if it did, how much??????
Ok, that is quite enough of that. I too have been wondering where Carol/Berrypatch was and what she has been up to. Hope she is just busy and hasn't forgotten us.
Hope-4Cure --- I too love that quote very, very much. I think women are particularily good at hope and dreams and belief in angels......not so sure we say it much, but that is exactly what makes a quote like that speak to us so well and sound so true and comforting.
Hi to everyone.....this a.m. I'd call you all by name but it's much too long a list. Just know that you are in my heart daily and often bringing a smile to my lips and feelings of comfort to my soul. It is so peaceful for me to know that I can share my life, thoughts, fears and happiness with you knowing you will understand. I'm so blessed.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Hi all. I swear I had a good post going and the cat flipped her tail on the mouse and woosh...all gone. So here we go again.
Jo, your kids ar so young. Where do you live? Your 12-year old can't watch the two year old. Any trusty babysitters out your way? Chemo is doable, but with kids so young you may need a little extra support.
Jackie I came in late on the Farrah documentary. I did not realize that she skipped chemo at first to preserve her hair. Oh dear!
Donna, I write as a hobby and I was a free-lance writer before I went back to fulltime.. I journal all the time, but for whatever reason, I stopped during treatment and now I wish I had not stopped. I am not sure if it is chemo brain or shock or what, but things are so fuzzy to me about that time. A journal is a good place to pour your anger into. The Wellness Center near me has a journaling class for people with cancer. It was during the day, so I could not attend. I would say to try to stay at the journaling even if your words are spitting fire. Last night, while watching the Farah thing, I asked my Dh what it was like when I was in treatment. He said he just remembers how sick I was. I, on the other hand, do not remember that so well and always tell people chemo was not hard! I think I was sick just a few days, but in his mind that was magnified.
Wendy, cute hula dancer! BlackJack have fun with your graduation party in Iowa. Your relatives are so lucky to have such a fun and creative lady....so are we.
I better go before the cat does her tail flip again. Hi to everyone I did not list here.
Susan
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Susan - Farah did use chemo at first, but as she chose the kind that causes hair loss last......I will always think....maybe that should have been the first one.....it is to some degree all a big guessing game.....and I guess my feeling is....if for whatever reason we become overly attached to something ( hair ) we may lose something much bigger than hair or whatever. It is a personal choice, based on many things.....but we feel deformed or ugly or somehow less.....we are human beings with problems and sometimes the temporary solution is to be WILLING AND ABLEto lose something of great and defining importance to us for the possible benefit ( YOUR LIFE is a really great benefit *major tongue in cheek* ) and sometimes we just have to forget who we are and look in other ways --- it's ok to have poison infused into my veins --- or lose every hair on my head....because the trade-off is life. So I am left to wonder......would things have happened much better for her had she been willing right from the beginning to let her hair be sacrificed.....ultimately it did happen....but too late to help her I think.....and maybe this is a good thing that she made the documentary......so you might see that the choices are hard to make. We just won't know if this waiting so late so she could spare herself the hair loss was a factor in her outcome or not. My prayers and thoughts for her and her family as they continue this struggle.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Good Saturday afternoon everyone... just thought I'd stop by & try to stay informed on everything that's going on. If I miss more than a day I never can catch up, lol
Jackie - I tivo'd Farrah's Story & am now even more interested to watch it.
Wendy - Love the hula dancer too!
Blackjack - Aloha! Have an enjoyable weekend with family.
Donna - the RV trip sounds like a great time. Me & DH have always wanted to do that (well, we'd have to get an RV first, lol. We've talked about renting one someday)
Connie - enjoy Florida
Susan - I was reading your post & about journaling. I actually never journaled regularly, but I did once I was DX'd... like you said, its a good place to vent. I have one page where I wrote in giant letters "I am in hell", just after the bmx.
Hi to everyone else - I actually need to go see why Buster is crying... probably just wants his mommy
Take care - Juliet
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Morning! Brrrrrrrr....it was 33 on my deck at 5:20am. That's pretty chilly.
I too watched Farrah's Story. There are lots of different chemo's so it didn't surprise me that she chose one which would not cause hair loss. What DID surprise me was that she never had a colostomy, which she refused. With anal cancer and the size of her tumor, with all the damage to tissue from the radiation I thought she had one! By not doing more radical surgery initially - I wonder if things might have turned out differently. Oh well ---- we all know you can do everythng and it still comes back. Cancer is not a fair disease. I was very impressed by her strength - doubt if I could do all she did but like Jackie says, we have no idea what we can do, until we have to do it.
Crazy neighbors at it again night - at 11pm they were out on their patio (which is under our bedroom window) hammering and sawing. I see this morning that they built some kind of fence sections. Good Gosh! 2 yr olds could have done a better job! I shudder to think what they are going to do with these wood things! Last week it was the neighbors on our other side who had ANOTHER party with hordes of little children running all thru my flower beds - and then they gave them horseshoes which kept ending up on my deck. And then one flew into my big dining room window - and yes, this time I went out and asked them to cease and desist. We don't have fences as we have a hill and it is deed-restricted but it sure is funny that during their parties they don't know where the property line is but come snow shoveling or grass mowing you better believe they know EXACTLY where to stop!
Gee - guess I am a little crabby this morning! Maybe a nap later......
Connie....have fun in Fl! Whereabouts are you going? Orlando I am guessing.....
Everyone else, have a wonderful, sunshiney day!
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Wendy - It would not take too much to get me crabby with the temperature you have. My Gosh....it could almost snow. One of the major reasons we live where we do is the fact that though we have neighbors you have to yell very loud if you wish to be heard. Easier to walk next door. Still, the down-side is that in the woods sounds sometimes carry funny and you will hear lots of things you don't want.....barking dogs, whine of machinery. But....the lack of people right in your face is quite a blessing. And...I know you are right about knowledge regarding property lines.
Connie - yes, where are you going and how many of us are you taking with you. We are cold!!!!!!
Got ready for my bath last night and lo and behold....a tick.....right where the other was last season that caused me 6 weeks of antibiotics. I did not attempt removal ( though it ended up being a really clean tick ) until Dh got home from work. He was able to get it out totally. So, here's hoping !!!!!! The cooler weather should slow all but the heartiest down again. I can be thankful for that.
We are having glorious sun and should for at least the next week here. B-day party this evening for Dh.....ssshhhh, he is 70. Obviously I married an old man. It should be fine.
Planning a trip to Tuscola for towards the end of the month. That is Amish country and there is a big outlet mall there. It's quite a hop from here so we don't go much --- I'm going with a cousin.
Have a great day everyone.
Hugs,
Jackie
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"Very few burdens are heavy if
everyone lifts."
Sy Wise0 -
Yep its tick season. I pulled one off the Dog last week.
Have you been to the Amish Buffet thats down that way. Its suppose to be huge. And great food.
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WENDY. I FEEL FOR YOU. I THINK I WOULD GO OUT OF MY MIND, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE GREAT PATIENTS. WE DID LIVE IN A SUBDIVISION WITH 1/2 ACRE LOTS. BUT THE HOUSES WERE STILL RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. I REMEMBER BARKINGING DOGS, LATE PARTIES AND EARLY MORNING LAWN MOWERS. I WISH MORE PEOPLE HAD COMMON COURTESY.
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Susan.. Yes.. am journaling as it is goin into a book that is labeled just for this journey. IT a great tool and defintiley need it.One thing that does not help me, is jsut taking the daily Zyrtec. it makes me dopey and yesterday i pulled out of garage and broke the side mirror as i am not as sharp. My poor DH. did not get mad at me or anything!!! Felt terrible.
DOABLE.. it is! Not that scenario as mentioned .. puking and having sunken in cheeks etc... that is what i was imagining too!!! Thank goodness it is only a week or so of feeling bad.
As far as Farrah.. yes i was suprised she did not get a colostomy! And the hair part.. we can relate to that loss..but as Jackie says.. we are not our hair!!! Not easy to loose our hair, but i personally could not select a chemo based on that issue. I would take the one that is the best choice to get this disease.
Hope you all have a nice Sunday.We are planting and getting outside!!!! Wendy...the neighbor and fence story.. made me laugh!!!!
Have a good day..
Donna
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I never saw a tick but I have a a small patch of woods behind us and we have deers. How do you get the tick off you, Jackie?
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