Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin
Comments
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kjbell - Gril, you are not alone. The feelings you get when it is over run the board from one extreme to the other.
1. It is over!
2. Is it really over?
3. Why am I OK and ___ died?
4. Is it gonna come back?
5. When is it gonna come back?
6. Did I screw up and cause this? What do I do now?
This is all normal. You are not alone.
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I couldn't help notice these posts about emotions during / after treatment.
there is an excellent book called Picking Up the Pieces by Sheri Maggee.
the book also has testimonies from cancer survivors and their thoughts and feelings. I bought it and was like WOW...it does help.
finishing treatment I though was WORSE than going through it...
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Hi ladies,,,,,,,,,,,,
ipursuit,,,,,,,,,,,it has been my pleasure to be checkin in from time to time. I started this thread when I was first diagnosed,,,,,,,in hopes that I would meet other brave women going thru the same thing as myself, I have met some very nice women here and some I continue to keep in contact with. Its unfortunate that we all have to be here thats for sure,,,,,,,but its nice to have others to lean on and get encouragement, ideas and support from. I am proud of you all for being here for each other. My hope in continuing to post from time to time,,,,,,,,,was to give encouragement to new ladies,,,,,,,,,,,,and if I have helped just one person,,,,,,,,then I have done my job as planned.
Helen,,,,,,,,,,I have also been married for 36 years. A little story to share with you all,,,,,,,,,,,when my daughter was in junior high school (she is 31 now and has a son) ,,,,,,well in one of her classes she had to write about something that her mother (me, lol) has accomplished in her life. She wasnt sure what the teacher meant as far as what she should write. (I was a stay at home mom,,,,,,,,,,,so didnt work until my kids were in high school and even then it was part time, I was always home when they got home from school) Well, the teacher asked her,,,,,,,,,,does your mom work? she said no. Does she go to school? she said no. The teacher asked,,,,,,,,,,,,,is she married and is she married to your father? My daughter said,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oooooooooo of course she is still married to my father. The teacher asked,,,,are they still in love? she said of course. The teacher said,,,,,,,,,,,well,,,,,,,,,there ya go,,,,,,,,,,in todays world that is quite an accomplishment. Thats what you shall write about. And she did. So in saying that,,,,,,,,,congrats to you and your hubby.
I'm just gonna pipe in about one thing. As far as after all treatments are done and where does one go from there? This is just me speaking,,,,,,,but I dont let the idea of a reoccurance get me down. Sure, it will always be in the back of our minds,,,,,,,,,but I let it stay in the back. I dont like black clouds,,,,,,,,,I prefer sunny days. I refuse to let that idea run my everyday. God forbid,,,,,,if something does come up again,,,,,,,,,,,I will deal with it. I am grateful for today, tomorrow and what was yesterday. All of the above feelings are normal for sure,,,,,,,,,,but I believe we musnt let it rule our existance
My wish for you all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,is to stay healthy, happy and enjoy everyday and everyone in your lives. You are all strong and beautiful women.
Keep up the good work ladies,,,,,,,,,,,,the light at the end of the tunnel is around the corner. A distant memory is ahead.
Cindy
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kjbel...I cried when I walked out of the oncology center after my last tx. When I went for my Herceptin tx a week later I didn't want anyone to touch me. I cried for weeks. I said this before, I think I held it in for so long that I just had to get it out. You cannot break down when you are going through the fire but when you come out on the other side it is very emotional. I even cried on the way home from my radiation tx's. I had so much that I held in that it had to come out. I agree with Lisa about the questions we ask ourselves and the worries we have after going through this. My oncologist gave me a month off after my breakdown in the office. My body needed a break and he could see that. You have been through a lot. Give yourself some time. If you need to take TWO of the ativan tonight just get more tomorrow. What you are feeling is very normal. I hope you feel better soon.
ipursuit, I am sorry you have to be here but I am certain you will find support and encouragement from everyone here. I was so happy when I discovered this site because for the first time I didn't feel alone. I am sorry you are feeling bad and I hope you feel better soon.
Traci 0 -
Hi Rockstar mom, I have seen your posts on here alot, and just wondered if you knew anything about the taxotere, permanent hair loss. I read how the lady did not get her hair back and I am scared to death. I hope someone wil reply, Thanks you, Katherine
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Blue: I go there too. A great bunch of staff. They make you feel really good. I only go tomorrow and Thursday and I am done. I go at 10:00 so who knows might see you. Today they gave out pretty green vases with flowers to everyone.
Karen: Perfectly normal to feel that way. Rant away. I did and the first of the rads just about sent me over the wall. Once it started and I saw it was no big deal I just went with the flow. I don't know why I was so scared of it. It is almost over sweetie, almost to the end. The radiation will be nothing at all what you have been through and believe it or not the chemo will fade in memory. Actually it has begun and almost like a bad dream I was in. Now its time to wake up and walk in the sunshine.
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Helen: Happy Anniversary!! 36 is quite an accomplishment. Hope you were feeling well enough to really celebrate.
ipursuit: You did what I have been meaning to do, but have only managed the first 20 pages and then everything since January, 2009. You make OCD sound like a great thing. Thanks for the wonderful portrait of these amazing women who are always here when you need them for good advice and good cheer. I think my husband is getting jealous of my attachment to and dependence on this gang.
Ipohgirl: Hang in there. Sometimes stuff like this brings out good stuff in people that you never thought was there. That is so great and one of the gifts of this miserable adventure of ours. On the other hand, it seems it can't bring out good stuff that just ain't there. I guess we find out that there is no best there at all. It is a sign of your generous and optimistic spirit that you expected these women to change personalities because you have cancer. Isn't it amazing that women like that can be kin to a wonderful guy and have had a hand in raising him? Keep protecting yourself from them and don't let them get to you!
I am feeling more and more like this chemo thing and just dealing with my body is a full time job--actually a full time job plus overtime work. I am still trying to show up at work and to work from home as much as possible. I am amazed at women who worked a lot while going through this. Are any of you out there? How did you do it? No superwoman stories, please. I'm sure not planning to be in that league, but could use some advice on how to cope or even info that tells me I am crazy for trying.
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Katherine Do not believe everything you hear or read we have had this brought up before it was someone spreading un true rumors your hair will come back go back and read posts from all the ladies who are getting hair again yoiu don't have to go to far back, Relax and Don't Worry 0 -
Sailor I am by no means a super woman I have worked my full time job 40 hours a week from the beginning I manage a RadioShack store I live in a small town so the store isn't crazy busy all the time I work for wonderful people so if I get tired I sit down. For some reason I have been blessed with next to no Se's. I feel almost guilty for it sometimes but God is Good he is looking out for me.I feel good,I sleep at night I always have a positive attitude and Take One Day at a time!! I just had Tx 4 yesterday I know I will be tired more tomorrow, I also know I am fighting to live to be an old lady who is a survivor.Cancer is a fulltime job with overtime but we all can do it , we are in this together we are stonger together I am here for everyone of you and I know you are all there for me as well!! 0
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I slept last night. For this first time since starting tamoxifen (2 weeks) I finally slept all night. I faguely remember some hot flashes thru the night, but I was so tired, I slept right thru them.
You don't have to be wonder woman to get thru chemo. Just take one day at a time. If you read back, you will probably see where most of us had a little emotional breakdown when chemo was over.
Have a great day all!
Lisa
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Does anybody know if Bold is OK? She has not been on here in days.
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Dear Ladies,
Thanks so much again for your advice about how to deal with difficult people. I really didnt know how to handle them. And, I promise I will not get upset the next time they call - I'll just say I am busy and hang up.
Went to see onco today and sure enough my neutrophils were down but still OK after Round one. Onco scolded me for not going to ER despite three consecutive mornings with fever, said it was VERY dangerous coz something might be very wrong with my blood. Scared me stiff. Promised her (and all of your earlier) that I will head straight to ER the next time.
She said the terrible bone and muscle pain was due to taxotere and not zometa, and prescribed some panadol! But panadol doesn't work on me........... I should have asked for something stronger like naproxen which I used to take for my menstrual cramps. But I forgot to ask her since I was already afflicted with chemo brain! She also gave me a suppository for the piles.
And when I told her I was teary, she was very sympathetic and arranged for a shrink to see me next week before Round 2 starts on Thursday! I said I've never seen a shrink before, am I going mad then? She said ordinary folks see them now, also it might help in my sleeping problems. She said she herself takes sleeping pills now and then too.
So ladies, it seems illness and madness iare now descending on me like a big, dark, bad cloud.
Since it was a sunny day, I went shopping after that and bought myself two nice blue knits and a wjhite cotton blouse on sale for a song. Time to cheer myself up with some shopping therapy. I think I'll get some sandals next for spring/summer and aim for the punk look. Some earrings and headscarves too..........have already bought 4 wigs (articficial). Still pondering about the US$500 real hair one.
And BTW, when I was trying on the clothes, I did cheer up and forgot what was happening to me for a while..............go for it, dear sisters, and it helps the economy too.
Hugs and kisses, dear ladies.
Ipohgirl
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Katherine, you will get your hair back! sometimes it takes longer for some than others. Mine is coming back more now than while I was taking radiation. I do believe that caused it to grow slower. My hair used to grow so fast but it is not now but it maybe because I am watching it so close. Enjoy not having to fix it. You know you can worry and fret or you can enjoy and find something good about a situation you are in, It is easy to say but hard to do I know. Even if one person did not get their hair back how many did get theirs back. I have visited with several women in the chemo lab and I asked how long it took and it was different for everyone.
Ipohgirl, I wish I could just hug you and tell you it will be okay. I would be happy to make you dumplings and if there is one thing I have found out is even if you eat junk food during tx it will not hurt you. They are killing your cells any way so there is no need to worry about healthy foods right now. You eat what you can get down and what you like. I do believe you need to stay away from people who stress you though and if it is auntie or MIL then so be it. Tell you husband you are the one who is important right now. I am not sure if he is a believer in the Bible or not but it does say the husband is supposed to leave his father & mother and cleave to his wife. Hang in there, your emotions will run wild on occasion.
Ipursuit, thank you for all the kind words. I hope I have helped some along the way. I know many helped me in those dark days.
traci1970, It does feel like you are leaving part of your life behind you. It is almost like withdrawals but then you will see them every 3rd week for Herceptin. I am so happy to be through with the bad chemo and the radiation. Everything that goes with it. Some do better than others and I did not cry a lot. I tend not to cry much but I do get to feeling a little down sometimes. Now I am trying to get back into the work environment.
Lisa, I am glad you finally got some sleep. I do not know what it is like to have hot flashes but I have seen women with them and it looks miserable. I hope you get better soon.
Cindy, this post was a life saver for me. I thank you for it. I also thank everyone who was so helpful to me and teaching me what to do to get through the SE.
Cupcake and I was parters in this journey since we were there at the same time as many of you have a person who is on schedule with you. It is so helpful.
I just want to tell everyone on the journey that none of us is alike in how we will react to the tx. I could not work and some can. Just because one is as sick as a dog (like me) does not mean another will be. Come here for advice or to rant and I know someone will be here with some information. Also you can use chemo brain for a long time. It is real! Just laugh at yourself when you can't remember something. My husband gets very angry with himself when he has a memory problem but he went through bypass surgery after stressing with me over chemo so he is entitled. He says he has chemo brain too. Our mates do suffer with us even though some don't show it so cut them some slack too. I have gone on long enough and I hope everyone that is starting rad. does great. Those with tx still hang in there it will be finished soon.
gramma23 (Carolyn)
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Ok Wise Women I need advice I woke up last night with a sore throat still have it this morning ,Do I need to call my Onc or nurse? I don't have a fever. Anything I can take or do to help? Is it normal? How long will it last maybe??? Any help would be much appreciated. BTY I just had Tx 4 on Monday. First time I have had this!Thanks my friends!!! 0
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Rockstar Girl, Thank you so much for writing back so quickly. I am young so It would be a very hard thing for me to not have my hair. I had never heard of anyone not getting their hair back. One is never sure if she had thin hair before treatment or not. Anyway, thank you for for your kind help.I know I should be fighting for my life, but maybe it is easier to think about my hair. Anyway , I read this site when I gset scared at night and it always eases my mind and helps me sleep. So lovse to you all and thanks again, Katherine
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Rockstar - call the doc just to be safe.
katherine: Your hair WILL come back. This coming Monday will be 6 weeks from my last tx. My hair started coming back in the middle of week 4. At first it was very translucent and you could only see it in the sunlight. In the past 48 hours it has started to develop some color. I am still not close to going hatless, but I am getting closer every day. Some of the ladies have posted that the hair growth starts out slowly and then just takes off after 6 or 8 weeks. Gosh, just look at Cupcake's avatar! As soon as I get enough hair to show up in a picture, I will post one. I understand your fear. I was always very proud of my thick wavy hair. Being bald has not been easy for me - but beleive it or not, you do get used to it, and it will grow back.
Lisa
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Ipohgirl: I am a professional counselor and I will tell you that your onc is right if she see's the need for you to see a Psychiatrist. They are a medical doctor that can prescribe medicine to help you emotionally through this journey. Some of us come in here and rant and rave, some break down in tears, some need a little more help, and that is where a medical professional comes into play. We don't think twice about going to a regular doctor when our bodies are sick, but somehow when our emotional side of us is sick we think that is bad. It is all part of our body that needs repair. I didn't need blood transfusions like some, but I needed sleeping pills that some didn't. Anything we can do to help us through this journey you reach out for what you need girl. Many in here will tell you that this place becomes such a huge part of our lives that it is almost additive, but they may not connect that this sight is a part of therapy too. We are counseling each other. We joke and call the elders in this walk camp counselors, but actually that is exactly what they are. Maybe not with a degree to say it, but non the less they surly are.
Carolyn: For sure we walked it together and I would like to give you my e-mail address and get yours so we could stay in touch in the years to come. I feel we have a bond that will last a life time and would want to keep in touch to see how you are doing. Be sure to put your name, or breast cancer.org on the subject line so I know it is you and not spam. My e-mail is narchampion@yahoo.com
Lisa; I just said that to my husband this morning about the ladies who work and do not know how they made it through these treatments, and that goes for moms with kids at home. They must have a fantastic support group.
Hope all is well. I'm off to see the zapper, the wonderful zapper of Oz.
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Sailor35 - I hear you girl! I have been amazed to hear how some like Rockstar can actually work during this! I am still "trying to show up" too but am thinking *maybe* today is the day - feeling almost normal for the first time since my first Tx Mar. 10. I hope your employers support you during this tough time, and know you are not alone.
Rockstar - I am so glad for you that you are getting through this without too much of the SEs. God is blessing you with this for a reason I am sure.
DuneOaks / Helen - thank you so much for your kind message two weeks ago when I first posted on this site. Hope you have a wonderful anniversary dinner even though it is hard to believe, looking at your pic that you could have been married so long! Must have been one of those child brides!
Ipohgirl - I'm sorry you are dealing with that #$% from the MIL. Mine is oh so sweet when she speaks to me but then her actions tell a different story (passive aggressive). You might want to try responding to your MIL that way - it has worked for me. In your sweetest voice say things like "oh you are so right! I really need to get out to the village again! I'll be sure to do that as soon as I feel well enough!". This makes it a lot harder for them to give you a hard time verbally - when you always agree with them! Just a thought. RE: the wigs - every survivor I have spoken with told me that the synthetic wigs were superior in every way to the real hair - they keep their style, they don't have to be washed very often or styled, cheaper, etc. So I too went "hog wild" on the wig thing and bought 3 - I am looking forward to enacting the three faces of Eve....
Katherine - I haven't read that thread about the lady having no hair regrow (and as others have suggested in the past - I don't go looking for that negative info...) but I am wondering if she might have other problems that combined with the chemo have killed her follicles. When I was wig shopping I saw two ladies who have hair, but very thin (from simply aging and when hormones drop many women start to have this) and they wear wigs to enhance their look. It could be other problems with the chemo just being the last straw for this woman. Realize that this is very rare, and not worth your energy worrying about.
Magnola - please let us know if you are able to get that 2nd Tx today. (crossing fingers....) I too had delays due to TE infection and was beside myself. I didn't like the idea at all, but my PS did offer me the option of "taking it out". I know you have had IVs, so should be faster to respond, but mine took almost 3 weeks of 2 dif oral antibiotics.
Lisa - So sorry to hear about your problems with Tamoxifen. I wish I had some good suggestions for this, but sadly, don't. I know many women have similar difficulties. I don't have all the facts, but have seen in some research about new alternatives with fewer SEs (Evista maybe?). You are pretty medically savvy, so you have probably already looked into that, but wanted to throw it out. I have saved a bunch of links on this subject for my sister (BC survivor but not HER2+) and if you are interested, would send them to you....
Traci from Tifton - I'm from Roswell!
Kjbell - If you think of all the poison pumped into you these past few months, it's no wonder you are losing it now. Hope you are feeling better today.
Mason204/Cheryl - Are you doing OK? Have followed you and praying you are just cruising along. If you ever have the problem with getting the Herceptin again, ping me - my BF's son got free growth hormone from Genentech for 5 years.
Cupcake - be sure to wear those ruby slippers :-) I know you are just about done with all of this....
Hoping the sun is shining for you all today. E
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Paula: I too woke up with a sore throat this morning and no fever. Since I just had my blood checked yesterday and things were low, but ok, I am just going to gargle with warm salty water, drink tea and see how the day progresses. I'm hoping it is just another SE of chemo and not a cold or worse. Since I have had that really bad taste in my mouth, I'm hoping that it has just irritated my throat. If I get ANY fever, I will call the Dr.
Thanks to everyone for the Happy Anniversary wishes--we had a really nice dinner with friends. Vaginal yeast infection and hemorrhoids don't make for a very romantic night, but soon all these SE will be a thing of the past and we will once again live.
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I've been trying to add a picture to this message. If it works, it was taken at Christmas with my husband and our 2 granddaughters.0
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DuneOaks - even your dog is smiling! Beautiful family (if wiggly).
E
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Sorry the picture is so big, but at least I figured out how to do it--would love to see other pictures from this group.
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Helen I love the picture. I have an 18 month old daughter and she looks so much like your granddaughter! Beautiful!
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Helen Ok Girl I will wait it out with you I also had a bad taste before my throat got sore I also gargled with warm salty water, so we will weather it together keep me posted , What a beautiful picture! Thanks for sharing it. I guess I will learn not to brag about my good fortune things can change in an instant,I was a bit surprised a sore throat not really expecting that one.Cupcake I truly enjoy reading your posts you are just what I needed today Thank you You are such a dear!!! I know I said it before but it is worth saying again Sure am glad you are with us again!! Bold & Mason haven't posted in awhile Ladies Where are you????How Are You???? 0
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Helen, that picture is just great!!!!
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Lisa, thank you for writing, I am glad your hair is coming in, and I agree she could have hormonal issues or something else wrong. Thank you for your kindness, I am feeling better already.Katherine
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ipursuit - You actually read the entire thread? You get a camp chemo gold star for that one. I'm glad that we are all here to help one another too!
kjbell - I would also like to chime in about being emotional at the end of chemo treatments. As some of you here might remember, I cried quite a bit when my chemo ended in February. After a few days, it passed. I think it was the feeling that all of a sudden I had to trust that the chemo DID work and I was scared. Little by little it will get easier.
Helen - That picture is GREAT! What a lovely family you have. Even the doggie looks happy.
Helen and Paula - Could the sore throat be from the dry mouth? Do you sip water when you wake at night? Check for sores by your tonsils. I did have a sore one month, but I gargled it away in a day or so. Let us know what happens. Good Luck.
Cheryl - I was wondering how you made out with the added Emend this month. I am hoping that you are not feeling as sick.
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Helen: That is such a beautiful picture of your family...how'd ya do it? Computer illiterate here.
Paula: Thank you. I like being here too. Although I went into the rad sight I just couldn't connect with everyone like I did here and no one there post as much.
Bold and Mason: We miss you please post and let us know how you are...we do worry you know.
Inpursuit: Can't figure out how all of you come up with you names. Inpuirsiut?? Now Cupcake that is pretty well explanatory..tee hee I either look like one or like to eat them which I do so I look like a cupcake from the backside...lol Now for those slippers..you betcha...they represent life and I click them, "I wanta live...I wanta live...I wanta live" The Wicked Witch of the West is the tumor, "I'm gonna get you my pretty",she wants to take my ruby slippers (my life) the flying monkeys are the cancer cells from the tumor. The Herceptin is the water that is thrown on the Wicked Witch and she melts away....Hoo Ha!
The Witch of the East is the Angel that helps guide me along the way. The Lion represents the fear I have with this cancer journey, The Scarecrow represents the learning I have done to learn about this cancer and The Tin Man represents the love I have for all of you my little Mutchins. The Yellow Brick road is the journey and the Tornado represents the storm I have been in. The Wizard of Oz represents my God, but not really cause He isn't fake, but the real thing. I know I probably ruined this movie for you ever watching it again with the innocence of a child...lol Sorry bout that just feel wacky today...
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A fun picture of simpler times!
I am the one on the far right.
http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j317/YourHorse/IMG_0613.jpg
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This is an explanation of how to add a picture. Also, Paula, I don't know about CO, but the pine pollen has started here, so that could be the sore throat issue.
To add an image to a Topic or a Post, click the image icon
in the Post/Topic toolbar. A popup will appear where you can enter the image's URL (see note below), description, and dimensions. Click "Insert" to add the image.
Note: The image you wish to insert must be saved online somewhere, such as http://www.photobucket.com/ or http://www.flickr.com/. Each of these sites explains how to share your images. You should select the HTML code option for the image you want, and paste it into the "Image URL" box.Hope this helps because I would love to see some pictures!! My picture was saved on Shutterfly, so I just copied and pasted the LONG url.
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