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Bottle o Tamoxifen

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 1,291
    edited September 2009

    Kari, you looked younger going thru chemo?  I think I looked older, my skin was so pale and the lines were very evident, maybe because of dryness.  I look much better now. Of course my free botox and juvederm, helps! lol

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009
    Helena wrote: " I also hardly ever used to have a piece of cake when I was out with my friends but now I usually do, not because I crave it but because I damn well deserve it!!!!!!"Amen sister. "And ahh yes the ageing process - just being told you have SFBC ages you 10 years I reckon. "and again, amen sister "I'm 47 and I'm sure I am supposed to be looking a little scary regardless of tamoxifen.   I have also noticed with all my stop starting exercise and being restricted for so many weeks month after month - the less exercise I do the more aches pains and whinges I have.  It is so important to stimulate the brain but also to stimulate your joints and muscles.  Easier said than done I know, I've been there."and with that I am shoving myself off the couch (heeeeeeaaaavvvvyyy period)  so happens I get on the elliptical trainer with the kid on my back in the evenings around 7-9pm, so I hope that will prevent leg cramps as well... 
  • AllieM22
    AllieM22 Member Posts: 188
    edited September 2009

    Rachel-I can't believe you get on the elliptical with "the kid". I need to go visit the elliptical today. Can't wait until we live somewhere where I have an extra room to put exercise stuff...

    Leggy--Sigh--ok, we'll just be satisfied with seeing you and not you and Wolfie. Tell him he'll be missed...

    I have noticed my skin seems saggier and drier (but of course still breaking out here and there)--what a mess. Not sure if it is tamox or not..probably as estrogen is good for the skin I believe. 

  • Brendatrue
    Brendatrue Member Posts: 487
    edited September 2009

    "I don't like to tell people I have SFBC and I have to work through that but I think it is because I don't want that to be who I am."--Helena   That's one of the reasons that I don't say "breast cancer survivor"--I don't want it to define who I am. (Let me quickly add that I am not offended when others use this term.) And, not trying to split hairs about language too much, I say that I just happen to be a person who has had breast ca or woman learning to live again after surviving breast cancer treatment. I don't focus too much on the word survivor, unless I am talking about surviving treatment. And, you gotta admit, surviving breast cancer treatment is often no easy feat!

    Mary--I understand your wondering about aging vs tamox side effects. It is hard to know at times. I have experienced some significant fatigue since starting Tamox, and my labs, scans, other aspects of my life don't seem to highlight a specific cause. I realize I am still recovering from chemo, so I assume that Chemo + Tamox = Fatigue. Who knows if I am right? I am trying more to get my thinking brain to stop thinking about it, but I have spent a lifetime relying excessively on my thinking brain and it's a tough habit to break.

  • j414
    j414 Member Posts: 58
    edited September 2009

    AllieM - you made cookies for the rad nurses/techs??? That was so thoughtful and definitely not the action of someone wrapped up in their own stuff!  I wish I would have thought of candy or cookies at the time.  I'm glad I sent the notes to my gyno and radiologist and today I will send a card to the MRI tech - she was very patient with me and I tortured her.  Helena, you're right about the compassionate care - it is priceless. A couple of hospital people were really inappropriate - one in particular nearly threw me over the edge and after several days of rehashing the incident, I spoke with a high level person at the hospital - she was appalled and it was addressed.  I will forget the people who weren't as nice as they could have been, but I will always remember the people who were compassionate.  

    Rachel - My mom was on tamox, but she's been off it for a while now. In addition to the tamox, her doctor told her to limit alcohol to one or two glasses a month. She and my father would almost always have a glass of wine with their dinner, but she stopped that ritual immediately.  It's been 12 years since her diagnosis and she's doing great.  And I'm all over the tamox - the top priority is to keep my production of estrogen in check and until I take the CYP test, I will believe I am at least an intermediate metabolizer :-).   All of my aunts and first cousins have been diagnosed and most of them (if not all) were on tamox at some point and everyone is doing really well.  As an aside, one aunt (who was diagnosed with bilateral many years back) just turned 80 and she goes to the gym every day - she does light weights and walks on the treadmill and she's got a great/positive attitude. I think the state of one's mind is as important as anything else that our doctors tell us to do.  

    And that's funny about James Taylor. At my first MRI appointment (which I ran out on) the MRI tech offered to put on some music and she mentioned JT - like that was enough to get me in the tube.  I went back a week later, took ½ a valium and gave her a cd with my own music.

    Leggy, I love the name Wolfie and he is kind of big for a mini!

  • chelev
    chelev Member Posts: 417
    edited September 2009

    My skin was better during chemo too - I don't know whether it is the steroids (we're all nice and plump and full) or the chemo sloughing off all kinds of skin, but I do remember it being clear and zit free.  On tamox, the chin bumps are back like that annoying gnat you swat at but doesn't ever go away.

    Rachel, I can picture you on the ellipitcal with your son on your back!!!!  He is such a cutie.

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    :::::Attention BC.org shoppers:::: here's a stock tip: buy stock in Kotex overnight maxi pads... I am going through them like kleenex during a bout of the flu... holy cow man.

    Allie- this is us in May as soon as I could after RADS... and now we have a rigid carrier, pics coming... he's 30 pounds and the new carrier is 5 pounds.

    On the skin stuff, I panicked when I read on KAK's thread a lot of women having skin issues, and it was about this time of year, and then they all remembered they always start having skin issues as winter approaches (have to change the season for QOTD)

    Brenda- I also don't use the term "survivor" to refer to myself.  Again its the same as in Shelley Lewis' book, Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Breast Cancer.  I refer to myself as a "cancer patient".

    j414- I had a parallel experience and did the same, reported it and had it taken care of- for the most part.  Some inappropriate stuff I could not reach high enough to address, but I did my best.  We're NYers, that's what we do. :)  I am 1000% behind you on the working out and fighting back and BRAVA for your aunts and family :)  I forget if you mentioned BRCA testing?  That's a lotta SFBC :/. rofl "let that was enough to get me back in the tube" hahahahahaha.  So which CD did you bring?  I told you mine, and I took a LOT more than half a valium, and plan to do the same next time, as well as wrapping all my "stick" points with emla cream and saran wrap an hour in advance.  If they don't need my participation (and they ignore me anyway) I might as well not be there.  Heck, even my DDS gives me gas and headphones to clean my teeth!

    chelev- well you saw us as the two-headed person... I got to get those pictures up... maybe I start now, tomorrow is a day trip to Philly... and I can't figure out how I am going to manage that since I have to change my uh... protection every hour.  

    This is nuts!  But I am hoping of course  its just for a couple periods and then tapers off... I had almost this bad for the last year and it was just lightening up in the last couple months.   I SWEARI can HEAR my uterus and reproductive organs shouting at me WHAT THE F--K IS GOING ON?????

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    Oh and I took Helena's words to heart, I did go on walkabout (although I had to come home early to change pads) and while I was out I bought myself some chocolates because I deserve it!!!! Too damn bad.

  • HelenaJ
    HelenaJ Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2009

    Morning all,

    Funny about the pimple thing - I finally got my periods after a break of 7 weeks and during that 7 weeks my skin went crazy - looked like little sweat pimples all over my forehead and side of my face - beautiful look really for a 47 YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Anyway.... I finally got my period last Friday and guess what, yep, pimples are almost gone.  Soooooooooo, Dr Helena thinks it is the imbalance of hormones, not too much or too little but the ebbing and flowing.  You can pay on your way out.  LOL

    Kari - yes I am going to have more surgery - one of my pockets for the implant is too big and the implant is slooshing around (aka squeaky).  We need to up the size on both sides.  Yeah, big bummer because they look gorgeous but even wiping down the breakfast bar I can feel it sliding around.  Anyway DH and I talked about it last nite and we are going to do it next year so I can get back into my running, have a big break over Xmas and get strong and fitter b4 going under the knife again.  So it will be longer than 1 year - sigh - so what, we invented the stupid calendar anyway - more important I give myself a physical and emotional break from all the surgery and recovery for a while and to feel whole again.

    And as for ageing, my sister turns 50 tomorrow and she is freaking out - I told her that it's great to get to see another birthday every year ... better start believing my own corny comments.  I reckon I could qualify for a desperate housewife today.  :)

    Allowed to go walking now so I'm out of here then choofing off to work.  Little dog is going to go spakko when she sees me put my hat on and grab the lead.  The instant joy never ceases to amaze me!!

    love you all

    soft hugs

    Helena

  • HelenaJ
    HelenaJ Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2009

    Oh and you can pay for that on the way out too Rach he he he - and what is with your periods????????????????????

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    On the instant joy, I gotta say... I am really loving my life.  I really loved my life right up to DX, and like everyone here, shattered at that moment.  Was always worried I wouldn't get so many special things back, and true enough, I will never know what my son and I would have done for his birthday or what progress we would have made during the (relatively short) time I had to disconnect from him to get TX.  But I *can* say we are definitely making the most of every second we have together, and although I feel like it can be snatched away from me any second because of SFBC, this is the life we had before and we are going forward.  

    Sunday we went out in the rain to play.  It was also a test drive of his rain gear.  What a freakin hoot.  The jacket and rain boots did their job but I totally forgot he would get on his knees and sit down in puddles.  So I ordered some rain paints. Can't wait until the rain pants come in and it rains again!  Life is good.

    Most of all, and I hope I am not speaking too soon, I am ecstatic that the Tamox has not (at least yet) affected my mood, caused me depression.  And that ecstasy feeds on itself, the less bad I feel, the more I celebrate- uh oh, kids up from his nap, no time to post pics now! :D 

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 490
    edited September 2009

    Lisa, yeah I was sooooo pale during chemo, I HATED looking in the mirror, bald, head, no lashes or brows, no hair anywhere, no boob!  LOL!!! What a scary sight!  I always said, "god I look like yoda" and just laughed!  Nothing else to do! haha

    Brenda, I find myself saying without thinking "I survived chemo, I can survive anything!" I had to stop and think about that the other day, cause it always just pops out!!

    Chelev - Yep, to the skin stuff!  same here

    Rachel - I think your uterus is flipping YOU the bird!!  LOL!!!!!!!!!!!   I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pic of you and the 'kid'!!  What will you do when he's a teen?  Had a funny vision of that in my head! haha

    OMG, my DH and i ordered a big piece of chocolate cake to share for dessert while out to dinner at Lake Tahoe Sat. night.  Everyone around us of course had to comment and we ended up meeting 4 nice people.  my DH always tells people that I survived cancer this last year and he's so proud of me, yada yada yada...That cake was sooooooo good...and yes I deserved it!! Innocent 

  • val61
    val61 Member Posts: 969
    edited September 2009

    Hey, y'all!  Haven't been on this thread in forever....just had my exchange and recovering so have some time at the computer.  Anyway, I've been on tamox since 2/09 - no periods yet - but the discharge seems to be increasing.  Also, I seem to be very irritated (thought I had a yeast infection, but no).  Called my ob/gyn and she said it's all part of the joys of tamox. Then, the past couple of weeks it seems like I have small tears in the labia that bleed occasionally.  Anybody else have that?  Just wondering.........Thanks!

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 490
    edited September 2009

    oops, Helena & Rachel, I was cross posting, I was typin you was postin...I always think of 'cross dressing' for some reason...

    Helena, waiting til the New Year is an excellent idea, gives you much needed time to get to 'that good place' beforehand!!  And how awful that you can feel that SF implant sloshing around!!  You made me laugh about paying you on the way out!!!!!!!!!!!!  heehee!!

    Rachel, playing in the rain!!!!!!!  How fun!!!!!!!!!!  Did you take pics of your boy in the puddles??  Love it!! 

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    kari- we're cross posting again!  I bet when we get together (and we will) we'll both speak at the same time!  I was going to say that about flipping me the bird but without kookiesmom's fluttering, I don't rate... my uterus is too busy swimming and looking for a life vest or bouy to hang on to to flip me the bird.   oh and when my kid is a teen- well I was going to joke that he was going to have to carry me around but ya know, that's not the plan at all, the plan is that I will keep working out like my Dad who is 86 and hiking 10 miles a day straight up.  Me and my kid and my Dad all together - that's the plan, healthy and kickin it... with my raunchy BC org gal pals laughing with us all the way.  That's the plan :)

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 490
    edited September 2009

    Val - now cross dressing...I mean posting with you!

    I've never heard of that...what a pain!  all parts of the joys of Tamox huh?  yeah real fun...NOT!

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 490
    edited September 2009

    Rachel, ok you're right, we will talk at the same time!  geez, i can't get a word in edgewise! haha

    Your plan sounds simply M A R V E L O U S!!!!!!! 

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    val - trish and holly- welcome back, its like a frikin high school reunion around here this week :) Its so great to see the "upperclasswomen" coming back to chekc in with each other and bring us up to date on what we can expect.  My friend who went through regular menopause spoke a lot about the vaginal dryness, thinning of the vaginal walls, and i could be imagining it but today in the shower while cleaning up shall we say, I did kinda notice less of the uh slimy feeling, even though its only been DAYS that I have been on the Tamoxitrain.  Anyway, it does sound de rigeur  for TamoxiSEs.  Most gals say if they have the discharge it kinda helps replace the missing fluids.  I hope so anyway :/

    kari - agree with all you said to Helena, smart to wait, and happy to pay for therapy...

    of course I took pics... they are comin... kari, do I have your email and did I put you on my kid's monthly update list? if not, and you'd like to be on the list, please pm me your email addy?  :* 

  • kookiesmom
    kookiesmom Member Posts: 57
    edited September 2009

    OMG you guys are too funny today!  I've been having such a good laugh - good thing we all have rather dark humor and "get" each other!

    Rachel: my uterus is either flipping me the bird or trying to grow legs to get the hell out!  It hasn't been too fluttery since I have reported it now on BCO - maybe the mothership is reading our posts and alien baby has gone into hiding!  The baby is too cute on your back!!!!

    I admit the discharge is rather helpful in the love machine department!   Been off Tamox. 1 week today and already having a decrease in flashes! 

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 490
    edited September 2009

    Rach, pm'd you...

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    kookiesmom- really, really roflmaowtimepimp!!!!!

    kari- incoming...

  • HelenaJ
    HelenaJ Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2009

    LOL - cut it out you guys!!  I'm never going to get to work at this rate .........................  :)  ....pimp ....love it.....

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    you know what it means, right?  ROFL (rolling on floor laughing) WTIME (with tears in my eyes) PIMP (peeing in my pants)

  • Mary22
    Mary22 Member Posts: 428
    edited September 2009

    OMG you guys have too much fun while I am at work!!!! It was a good day, but I wish I could jump on this site at least during my lunch break! It was chilly and rainy today!

  • PatMom
    PatMom Member Posts: 322
    edited September 2009

    val, try a "softer" brand of TP.  I was literally getting tiny paper cuts in very sensitive area because the Tamoxifen makes the skin so vulnerable.  Switching to a softer tissue solved the problem.

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    New nickname for PatMom.... "House"

  • LeggyJ
    LeggyJ Member Posts: 195
    edited September 2009

    Hi,

    Kari, I ran into an acquaintance, while out for a walk.  I haven't seen her since BC, although I see her dad often, and he keeps her updated.  Anyway, she asked about my hair, so I took my sun hat off, and saw the surprised look.  She told me a friend of hers had BC and had the hair grow back a diff. color and texture.  Her friend said "nothing like going bald for 6months and then have pubic hair grow on your head."...I had to laugh.  It doesn't seem like most of the girls, have this happen, but I sure did.  That's what my hair looks like. Oh hell, no one has called me Pussy Galore.  Sorry, I can't help myself. 

    When I had the stinking biopsy and TVUS, I asked the Gyno. while looking at the screen,
    "No BABY?"  She just said "No Baby."  She must have heard this before, from 53 year old women, cause she didn't even skip a beat.

    Rachel, I just say cancer patient, too.  I usually tell people, I haven't seen since before BC, because of the hair, being like you know, pubic hair...but at least I don't have a alien baby, in there. No baby.  I don't know what Wolfie, would have done, he's my only baby.

  • pkb143
    pkb143 Member Posts: 69
    edited September 2009

    Picking up my big ol' bottle tomorrow. Let the games begin. I have wrestled with this decision for months now and carried the prescription around almost a week.....guess I'm finally joining the group.

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    damn, I wrote a big big post and my browser crashed and i have to start over...

    pkb, don't be too afraid, we're not ALWAYS talking about pubic hair heads and alien babies, (sometimes we're talking about squeaky boobs and well, yes, I guess we are always talking about pubic hair heads and alien babies... )

    OK OK so where was I... the secret handshake... chelev and me and the kid, (but his head is turned away so all you see is his beige hat)

    Oh and Leggy, that whole weird hair color/texture thing is what we're working on with Joseph, my friend who is an excellent colorist.  I made some crack in the post i lost about  you coming here with Wolfie to get your hair done, and then maybe instead Joseph would go to the NoCal girls get together and do everyone's hair and how jealous I'd be....

    I have more pics of more BC org gals coming for color and doing the secret handshake, but I am not allowed to post them because one of the girls would like to keep her job.... ;)

    But here's us being politically correct (use your imagination)

    I'll make a second post for the rest so it doesn't crash again... 

  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 679
    edited September 2009

    ok, pics of my kid discovering rain, puddles etc, collecting stones, my kid's rain gear road test and why I need to buy him waterproof pants...