Anyone on just Taxotere and Cytoxan?
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guitarGrl, you are sooo funny. I'll be traveling to STL for a meeting soon, and I've been worried about that. I have zits all over my head from chemo and it will be so embarassing to show them off, and you know how they turn redder when shy.
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Guitargrl: I have not flown, but do work in a court house, so rules generally are that a woman is not required to remove headgear. You may consider having your onc write a note to have on hand just in the event that someone gets "stupid".
40something; We are here for you and if we all lived near by that person would still be crying
cause your sisters would have to open up a can of "whoop-ass"! Stand strong we are here, complain all you want....we all get a turn.0 -
Hey Wendy, Trina and PALady and the rest of you gals,
I am so happy for you guys finishing chemo! I am going to celebrate for you and have a glass of wine tonight. Sorry I've been absent. Chemo #4 hit me hard. Its been two weeks and I'm now finished with having an achey fatigued body.
I have my 5th chemo next Thursday. After each of the last two treatments I've convinced myself that I want to stop after the 4th. It happens when I feel physically the worst. You all know the emotional lows that coincide physical effects. I just don't think I have the guts to go against my oncologist's feeling that I should do 6 treatements. How would I live with myself if I had a recurrence and didn't follow her instincts?
There is one other gal on this board that is doing 6 treatments. Was it you CHJ?
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40something, i feel for you. They have no idea what we're going through -- beaten and bruised emotionally. Sometimes, people are just so inconsiderate. But never mind them, we're here for you, to listen and cheer you up
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Missoula,
I am doing 6 treatments also... have had 2 already. My onco says we'll shoot for 6 if I can tolerate them, b/c studies are ongoing as to whether 6 are better than 4. I want to give it everything I've got!
C-Babe0 -
40something, I am sorry you had a bad day, but tomorrow will be a better one. Some people are so insenstive, unless it involves their life. Try to brush it off, you have so many people who care about you . I know that is easier to say than acutally going thru it. Have a good night, are you reading any good books, besides about BC?
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C-babe,
I see that you have a high Oncotype score like me. Maybe that plays into your oncologist's decision also. My onc would also like to have the results of the ongoing studies before recommending high grade breast cancer patients stop at 4. I have found that each treatment gets a little tougher. But I have gotten to where I handle the side-effects far better than the early treatments. For me the difficulties with chemo are as much emotional as physical. Its the combo of the two that take my mind into dark places. I have written a great deal about the fear, grieving for what we've lost, physical effects and also about the good things that have come with my cancer diagnosis. Blogging helps me in dealing with fears and treatment.
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40-Something Mom,
I take prilosec also. It takes a few days to a week before it takes effect. Its more of a long term medication. Keep taking it and I hope it helps with your symptoms. I take it because my onc says it will help with break-through nausea (which is sometimes caused by irritation of stomach lining) and prilosec helps with irriation from the esophagus on down into your stomach. Sorry about the rude pharmacist. Gosh, where is her heart? Of course she knows that Emend is for.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon,
Laurie
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Laurie: I am also blogging and it helps me alot. I am enjoying reading yours - you are a good writer.
Thanks for sharing.
Wendy
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Wendy,
Thank you, You gave me the idea! What is the URL of your blog again? I really liked reading yours and want to keep up.
Laurie
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Come on over sometime. Yours is much more eloquent though.
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Wendy, Trina and PALady - CONGRATS!! Continue to pray and give thanks; it will get you through the rest of your journey!!
40somethingmom - Hang in there!! God will carry you through!!!
Goldilocks - Great story! Thank You!
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Goldilocks: Was the "red Kool-Aid" Adriamycin? I've heard it called the red devil before. There's actually a book with that title I think. I loved your horse story! I'll be passing that one on.
Wendy: Congrats on your big day. I'm wishing you success and a beautiful life on the other side of this chemo-hell. Hope you have a good weekend and you mom doesn't drive you crazy
40somethingmom: Oy! What a day you had! I agree with goldilocks: that chick is lucky we live all over the US, otherwise we'd all have to descend on her pharmacy and slap that insensitive bee-yotch for you!
Have a good weekend all!
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Aurora, that's the one! I'm not sure when I'll start - I guess mid-april. How are you feeling? Do you work? Are you continuing to work?
Dansmom alias Janet
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The ribbons get to me too. And being called a survivor - I hope I am still a woman - who had/has cancer. but I haven't started the chemo yet - I may feel like a survivor later. And folks at my job want to do the Susan Koman walk - which I realized today actually would be a good answer to "what can I do to help".
anyone else get tired of talking with people about this? I have so much support at work and it's exhausting me. I just realized that 3 weeks ago was the day I had the mammogram that end up with the nurse practioner telling me I needed a biopsy and it was 50-50 for cancer.
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Hi Janet, I just had my 2nd chemo on Feb 28, and I'm doing miraculously well. I only had mild side effects like headaches, fatigue, muscle/bone twitches, itchy scalp - nothing major.
My first one was more painful, so to speak. But only because they infused Cytoxan too fast (causing headaches), and they gave me a full dose of Neulasta (causing bone pains). I told my doctor everything, so he made adjustments -- lengthened the drip time to 1 hour, instead of 40-45 minutes and gave me tylenols during infusion. Day after, I got half dose of neulasta. Voila!!! No pains!!!
I do chemo on Thursday pm, because Friday at work is slow. But you might want to pick the end of your workweek, so you can rest after. You'll get tired, but that's ok. Some ladies go to the gym after, take a walk, some just go to bed after. I work from home so I didn't take days off, but you may need a day here and there.
If you're starting mid-April, you got time to prepare :->
Come back often, we're here to listen and help!
God bless,
Aurora
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Hi All
I haven't posted in quite awhile yet I check in routinely to see how everyone is doing.
Congrats to all who are finishing chemo. You are my heros and inspiration.
Welcome to all the newcomers. Hate that you had to come to this website yet glad there is a place to learn from people's experience and help make it easier. Just remember that your particular reactions may or may not be like anyone else's. For me, knowing what others have experienced helped me be better prepared for what may develop - and not freak out if I encounter sometihing that my onc & nurses hadn't mentioned.
All - Wanted to let you know about a great cookbook. It's called "Eating Well Through Cancer " and is by Holly Clegg and Gerald Miletello and has Easy recipes. What I really like about it is that is organized by SEs - Neutropenia, Diarrhea, Sore Mouth, etc so you can go directly to the section you need. There's a cross reference in the beginning of the book which shows how each recipe fits across the various SEs. Believe it or not, my insurance company sent this to me.
As for me ... I'm in week #2 after my first treatment. Was blessed with relatively manageable SEs during the first week (I did not have one of the shots for WBC stimulation). Am experiencing some insomnia this week and dreading the upcoming scalp issues and hair loss. It's a bit odd since I have never been one to fuss about my hair. I already wear it relatively short but am going to get it cut very short in the next day or two. Don't really see shaving my head in advance or getting a buzz cut; perhaps a very short pixie cut. Just want to reduce the trauma/drama of seeing the hair come out. I already have a wig that kind of looks like me, another one for fun (it has straight hair and I have always been very curly), and am building a collection of hats. And I'm scheduled for the ACS "Look good, Feel better" program on Mar 17th so I guess I am about as ready as I can be.
I've found my priorities have changed dramatically. I have little to no interest in work right now. Given the unknown around how I'll do each day with chemo, and my overall levels of energy (much lower) ability to concentrate (limited duration), and desire to do what I can to heal, I have taken off from work. I've been with my employer for over 20 years and fortunately have benefits available. Starting to think that BC is meant to be a catalyst for a change in career....
I have found the cancer care community to be vast, compassionate, and generous. I hate to admit this but really did not have a clue before my diagnosis. I've helped run fundraisers for other organizations before; now I plan to help some of these cancer care organizations.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Joan
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wrsmith2x, enjoyed your post so much, you ARE a great writer, you inspire others so much. I will go today and have my hair cut shorter than usual and pick up my wig, I know my next week, the hair will begin to fall out, and want to control some of this before it controls me.hAVE A GOO
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sorry about the last blog, didn't get to finish, have a good weekend and enjoy those walks when you can, they are healing.
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Joan: I am so on the same page with you on no interest/desire to work. In fact, with everything that has happened in the last few months (my father dying in September, BC diagnosis in November, brother-in-law dying in December) my priorities have changed so much. I am a pretty competitive person and always wanted to be the best in my job. Now people at work are working circles around me and I just don't care. And my review is due - yuck! I am planning on telling my boss how I feel - even if it changes his view of me. He already knows that my priorities have changed. Oh well, it is as it is. Perhaps when I am farther out from this craziness then I will feel differently. I am just in the simplify mode now. I just want to simplify my life and stop sweating the small stuff. Because as well all know it ain't the small stuff that matters anymore.
Am feeling pretty good today - stomach is torn up as usual but fatigue wll come tonight/tomorrow/Monday and Tuesday will be the day to get up and start fighting again.
My hopes and prayers for all of you are that you will feel good today - "This is the day the Lord has given us: Rejoice and be Glad" - be healed tomorrow and LIVE long and wonderful lives with those that you love the most.
Cheers!
Wendy
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Hey, I keep forgetting to ask - any other triple negatives in this conversation?
Just wondering what you've heard about it. I've heard that we generally have more aggressive type tumors, generally have higher incidence of recurrence but respond better to chemos.
Anyone else know anything about this?
Just wondering - not obsessing - just wondering.
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Happy Saturday! I like most of you don't really have interest in working, but it does keep my mind very busy and since I don't have much time to be off I do the best that I can. I look forward to the end of the day, each and every day. Home is a safe haven and don't have to constantly be dealing with people. When they see that you are in a scarf or hat they smile at you like "poor thing". Get real, I am making it! Just cause I don't have hair means nothing. At least my makeup looks good and believe me some of the people that smile have had a "clown" applying theirs.
I had serious leg cramps that woke me up last night. First one leg then the other. Does this mean that my potassium level has dropped? Think a banana would help? Getting up this morning I feel old and creaky. Just add the sound effects and I could be a cartoon.
Took some darvaset and plan to just goof off today. Hubby vacuumed and mopped yesterday when he got off work so the house is clean. He said since I have my next treatment on Friday, with my birthday on Thursday that I should have a fun weekend and not needing to bother with house chores. My schedule for today is fun breakfast out, a movie, and just whatever I want. I plan on doing just that. Wish everyone a calm and se free weekend.
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Wendy, anyone that doesn't realize that priorities change when you have cancer, needs an attitude adjustment. You had triple wammies thrown at you, so you need even more extra loving care. Right now it's all about US!! If people don't see that the ---- with them. Focus on the positive that's in your life as well, and remember "He won't lead you to it, if he can't bring you through it."
Blessings, Artsee
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Artsee - I totally agree!!
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guitarGrl, I flew last week-end, and they did not make me remove my hat, which was a great relief. Word of warning though, my breast prosthetic did set off the metal detectors and I had to go through wanding and pat-down. They were very nice, but talk about adding insult to injury! On the return trip I just put it in my purse until I got through security, then popped in restroom to replace it. This experience helped me make my final decision about reconstruction though, I wll definitely do it now.
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Oops - sorry about that. guitarGrl, I flew last week, and they did not make me remove the hat, thank goodness. A word of warning though, my breast prosthetic set off the metal detector, and I was pulled aside to be wanded, then put in the "little room" and patted down. They were nice about it, but talk about adding insult to injury! On the return trip I just slipped the form in my purse until I got through security, then popped in the restroom to replace it. That experience did help me to make a final decision about reconstruction though, and I will definitely do it now.
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Wendy,
I love your blog. You've hit the nail on the head on so many things that I feel also. The post from Feb 11th speaks to how I feel when I look in the mirror. I hope its okay that I include an excerpt here....
"But when I look in the mirror I DO NOT look like Wendy. And it's not just the missing hair. It seems that my eyes are baggier (is that even a word?) and my skin is yucky looking. I look very tired. And I really sleep pretty good. And please don't think that I am saying this so that people will tell me "you look great!" I am writing this because it is how I feel. I look terrible! I'm not Wendy anymore. I know I am no beauty queen anyway but I always thought that I was at least average looking. Now you could throw me in a pond and skim ugly for a week!!! And I know its because I'm sick. I look older also. And I really didn't need any help there. Every year that goes by the wrinkles become more prominent! I hate wrinkles!!! "
I understand and feel the same way.
Laurie
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Believer: I don't have zits but I do have flakes. My hair hasn't totally fallen out yet, so I've been shaving it. I think my scalp thinks it's too sensitive for that and is flaking off in self defense. I have been asked to take off regular hats and put them in the bin, but maybe if all we are wearing is one of those knit head-socks, they'll see we can't be hiding something underneath ...
Golidilocks: forget writing a note - maybe I'll just write something like "made you look" on the top of my head!
Dansmom: yes. Tired of the "you poor thing" looks too. This morning one of my neighbors came up to me and said "I see you are wearing pink" and gave me a big, way too close, hug. I always wear pink, I look good in pink, they are making me hate one of my favorite colors.
cdear: thanks for the words of experience. One time I broke my right arm and was amazed at all I had to learn to do from scratch. Little things like eating or brushing my teeth.
BC does this to you in a similar way. All bets are off. Each time you do something for the first time, you have to think it through. Things that are already annoying - like going through security lines - become insurmountable. At least knowing I can keep my hat on makes that one less worrisome. Assuming the mental giants that do security in the San Diego airport get it. No guarantees.
susan0 -
As I have just finished up my frist week with TX, didn't have major s/e, was wondering when I prepare for tx #2, should i take the 2 steriods or just 1 the day before chemo, it really made me wired, and not able to sleep, any suggestions, the nurse practicnior said I might be able just to take 1 instead of 2
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lotodogs-everyone is different- but I want you to know I lowered my steroids after 1st tx because I was so wired and could not sleep- I had an allergic reaction and delayed nausea, the nurses and onc both said SE from taking less steroid, tx3 I'll use my sleep aid and stick with the original steroid plan
I want to thank everyone for the WONDERFUL SUPPORT, these comments make me cry, laugh, and feel soooo much better!!
cdar- your story at the airport --thanks I will be prepared as I have a trip planned before reconstruction--Guitargirl you are so funny, writing on the head "made you look" -- my onc was very adamant about not flying during treatment because of germs in a confined space --I canceled a trip in the beginning, but it turned out fine as it was the week my hair fell out, I guess WBC boosters may be changing the face of the old thoughts
T
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