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Anyone on just Taxotere and Cytoxan?

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  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited April 2008

    algw - well, yes, I am in the northeast part of Carroll County, so we go up to Hanover every now and then for shopping (no tax on clothes!) and other stuff.  They are getting some decent restaurants there (Chile's, Texas Roadhouse, Damon's, and we like Perkins).  I am originally from PA - near Altoona.

    Steve, your story about John Edwards' speech gives me the chills.  Yikes!  But it's just a coincidence.  We don't know why.  Every so often someone says that BC is every woman's worst fear.  It was never my worst fear - I had no reason to think I would get it!!  Like so many others, no family history, and I ate right and exercised more than your average woman.  But bam - when I was 39 it showed up at my door.  What are you going to do?  You fight it and go on!

    And Steve - yes, make sure Kathy increases her fluids.  I was 5 days out from my first tx when I had a fainting spell that scared the crap out of my dh and landed me in the emergency room.  They blamed it on dehydration.  There were other women on this board that had the same thing happen.  So I really load up on my fluids right before and during the week after my tx.  We wish the best for Kathy tomorrow!!

    CHJ

  • cc01
    cc01 Member Posts: 9
    edited April 2008

    Well girls, my last TC was on Friday. I feel like crap today but at least this is the last time I have to go through this. I am just hoping the end of the week comes as quickly as possible so I will be feeling much better and just knowing I am done makes it so much better. I will be having my ovaries out the first week in May and my nipple reconstruction in June or July so things are moving along. Now if only the hair will grow back quickly. The eyebrows and eyelashes thinned but did survive the TC so I am happy about that! Best of luck to all of you who have had to take this journey it's ruff but we will get through it!!

  • kathys_hubby
    kathys_hubby Member Posts: 22
    edited April 2008

    I love KathyL's idea of having Word open to take notes while reading through everyone's posts. It makes specific responses so easy!

    CHJ, the John Edwards story was so freaky. We laughed that night that of course it wouldn't happen to her, but life had other plans for us and here we are. And her original dx was two small spots <1 cm, doctors were talking about oncotype so that we could try to avoid chemo. Well, it was one tumor 3.8 cm, and well you know the rest of the story.

    Regarding being hydrated, her nurse practicioner who administers the chemo told Kathy that for the first few days if she can walk past a bathroom and not have to stop she wasn't drinking enough. That definitely worked out well for the first tx. And we got a report from a friend last night who is two weeks ahead of Kathy, also with TC. She had a terrible time with her first treatment, but for the second she drank before, during and after and is doing brilliantly this time around. She also had Emend for nausea this time, for some reason she didn't get it the first time, and feels much better. So drink up ladies! Your men won't mind having to wait for you every five minutes if it's for a good reason!

    Cheers!

    Steve

  • bdatlanta
    bdatlanta Member Posts: 40
    edited April 2008

    cc01 - doing the Snoopy dance for you!! Congrats!!

    algw - meeting got canceled while I was having my luxurious sponge bath. Back to the fleece pajamas - yeah!! If I ever get a real tattoo I think it will say "BBBW" - Bold Brave Bald Warrior.

    chj127 - I wish I had a buzz cut. I pray to see that much hair on my head. I am getting a little more hair strings around the edges. But it's really funny that I still have 5 strands of gray hair in the front of my head - the same 5 strands I had before diagnosis. I was thinking that if I plucked them now would that prevent them from growing full.

    kathy's husband - I lost my cycle during my last round of tx and my radiologist onc said not to expect it again for a year - chemo bonus! But, I'm starting tamoxifen after radiation so I think that I'll be pushing my chemopause up a few years ahead of schedule. I'm only 38 yrs. old. But after going through the hot flashes with chemo tx, I'm a lot more aware of the internal heat waves.

    Another reason I'm not looking forward to the radiation crew tomorrow is that some of my "markings" disappeared. You guys know I have been abiding by the stupid sponge baths, but I don't think anyone took into account the night sweats. Yup, I think my markings disappeared from the moisture from the night sweats. The tattoos are still there. Can't wait to have my body get all scribed up tomorrow.

  • artsee
    artsee Member Posts: 701
    edited April 2008

    Sharon..Thanks for the explanation. I too was diagnosed on my birthday on Jan 15th. That really sucked. The pathologist called, and I said to him that I was hoping he was calling to wish me a happy birthday, and he said oh is it you b-day? Mines tomorrow. Woo-hoo!

    The first week after chemo is usually pretty crappy but the next two weeks are so NORMAL that it's hard for me to imagine I'm going through this. I guess that's what makes so hard for me to look in the mirror and have this "concentration camp look" staring back at me.

    I look like I should be sick but I'm not. Most people look at me like I am as well and that is so irritating to me.

    I, like many of you have done everything right, diet, excercise, no history, never over weight ect. It means nothing and no body is exemped! Hopefully the BC are ok so I can have my secound to last tx on Friday and I can get on with me life......

    Hugs to all, Evie

  • kathys_hubby
    kathys_hubby Member Posts: 22
    edited April 2008

    I have to say that I feel so much for you ladies. Kathy was perfectly healthy when we found out she had cancer. It never occured to us that this could happen. So, you take a perfectly healthy woman, make her sick (from anxiety, operations, chemo) and tell her it's all in the name of making her better. How does this make sense? Just remember, ladies, that your husbands and other loved ones are crazy about you and love you more every day no matter how "different" you look or feel during this temporary diversion on the road of life. Hang in there, we're with you all the way!

    Steve

  • Tigwin
    Tigwin Member Posts: 115
    edited April 2008

    Godlilocks ...I got the same thing as you lost my voice for 6 days now...I have a bad cough to go with it.  I guess we both were around someone who had a germ.  Hope you are feeling better.

    JT...numbness and tingling of our fingers and toes is a sign of neuropathy...you should share it with your onc.

    Revcat & KathyL...what a way to celebrate a birthday...next year I am going to be somewhere tropical with no phone.

    KHubby....that is a unreal story...I cannot believe JEdwards stated that and then the next day.  Wow.Strange.  With regard to the big pause in life...everyone is different. 

    Have a good day all

  • ladybugcyndi
    ladybugcyndi Member Posts: 35
    edited April 2008

    Hi again everyone!  I swear, I am going to get better about keeping current on here.  I started with hairloss 2008 on Tuesday last week.  By Saturday, I said the heck with it and shaved it myself.  My dh was out riding his motorcycle, so I was kind enough to call and warn him in advance.  We had dinner plans that night with friends, so I wore my wig out to dinner.  All day Saturday, I ran errands and shopped with just my ball cap on.  Didn't feel self conscience or anything.  But put that wig on and I felt so obvious about having no hair.  I wonder why that is?  Anyone else feel like that?

    I have gone back to work after starting treatment.  I work in an animal hospital at the front desk.  So my exposure to sick people is pretty low.  I have my own work station, which I Lysol before I start to work, after lunch, anytime someone else has dared to use it.  I did insult one or 2 people by spraying after they walked away from my phone or keyboard.  But they do understand better now. 

    The first week after treatment was pretty rough.  I thought I was prepared for all the possible side effects, but didn't know about the funky taste.  I stopped eating and drinking, and landed my butt in the hospital er and was admitted for severe dehydration.  My taste buds are just starting to come back now, and of course tx #2 is this Thursday.  I'm sure that will kill them again.  I lost 14 pounds the first week and have now gained a couple back.  I'm still down about 8 pounds, which is okay for me since I am overweight to begin with.  My appetite has been pretty good, with the exception of my sweet tooth.  Chocolate is a comfort food for me, but since treatment started, I haven't been able to stomach the smell or taste of anything sweet.  I mean, when a girl goes through BC that is harsh enough, but come on, kill the chocolate taste buds too?  That's just too much.

    I wish the best for everyone having treatment this week and those that had it last week.  I hope this week is good to you all. 

    Edited to add:  Kathys hubby .. you know, I am wondering the same thing about chemopause.  Of all the side effects they told me about, that is the one I am truly looking forward too.  And of course, nature has a different thing in mind.  The day I went for chemo #1, I got my period.  Talk about cruelty and bad timing ...  it didn't last, but did come back on time and normal.  I waiting to pick on my oncologist about that .. all the other things he told me would happen, have happened.  What about chemo pause!

    Best!

    Cyndi

  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited April 2008

    Cyndi - welcome back!  You sound like you are going through the standard set of side effects.  I hear you about the wig.  When I look at myself in the mirror when I have my wig on, it screams WIG to me.  I feel like an imposter or something in it.  

    Steve - see what Cyndi said about landing in the ER from dehydration?  That's 2 of us to mention it today... make sure Kathy is drinking!! 

    CHJ 

  • algw
    algw Member Posts: 37
    edited April 2008

    cco1: Congrats! At least part of your journey is done. All good wishes for what's to come.

    bd: sponge baths sound like a royal pain. And look at that, you followed directions and did everything they said and the markings STILL disappeared! It will be interesting to see how they advise you to avoid sweating! Glad you got to snuggle in PJ's instead of working.

    Evie: I am struggling with that same idea of looking like a sick person. Up until now I've been able to hide it all. I'm on day#14, my hair is coming out and I'm second guessing how good I really look in that wig. I just think it will bother me and be hot and uncomfortable, especially with summer coming. I guess we just ignore any pitying stares and move forward. At least until they make a cap that says, "YES, BALD FROM CANCER, BUT FEEL GREAT!"  I'm also thinking of getting some edgy biker chick bandanas or something to make me look tougher than I really am!

    Steve: that Edwards story is creepy. I think we all wonder how we got here despite our best efforts to do everything right. I believe life is balanced, we all get our share of good and bad. Personally, I've had lots of good and it's just my turn for some bad.

    And YES, drink, drink, drink. I found if I sqeezed a lemon slice into the water it was better and easier to get more down.

  • artsee
    artsee Member Posts: 701
    edited April 2008

    algw..did you happen to have the onco-type test? Just noticed your dx

    Evie.

  • algw
    algw Member Posts: 37
    edited April 2008

    Evie: Yes, I had the oncotype dx and also genetic testing for BRCA 1 & 2. My oncotype was 22 and the other genetics were negative. Very glad to have had both done. My onc felt the short course of TC (x4)would be best.  So far, so good, manageable after 1 cycle...I may have a different opinion by round 4. Doing it with thin veins, no port, since it's only 4x, but I already have developed phlebitis in the vein they used, rendering it off-limits for further treatment. Hopefully, my other veins hold out and  I get through the next 3 w/o any more trouble. Fingers crossed.

    Did you have the oncotype as well?

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 757
    edited April 2008

    Hi, everybody-- 

    algw, I think you are just 2 days ahead of me with this TC x 4 regimen.  I started on April 3, so this is day 12 of my first round.  This morning my scalp started itching just a few minutes after I finished washing my hair, just as if I had not washed it for several days.  I imagine that means I'll be looking at bundles of hair in my hands in about 2 days.

    The only SE I've had lately is a perturbed sense of taste.  My appetite is great (perhaps too good?), so I'm back to regular meals.  Right now I crave fresh (cooked) vegetables, especially bright things like carrots and squash.  This is good. Usually my cravings swing toward comfort food, like mac & cheese, but I haven't had the urge for KM&C since my chemo tx.

    The odd thing is that I cannot taste sweet flavors at all today.  Everything else seems OK, but my "sweet" taste buds are gone or asleep.  Tart things are wonderful--orange juice, for instance, which I couldn't drink last week because of indigestion and a sore mouth.  Starches, which I depended on last week, are oh so bland today.  So right now, my diet is healthier than it has been in a long time.

    bdatlanta, surely they will re-do your markings and maybe give you some tiny tatts, right?  (Careful of the vowels in that sentence.)  You keep warm tonight, girl.  They say we might hit an all-time record low temperature here in the southland tonight.  (If you are in ATL, I'm a couple hundred miles west of you.)  I'd put another dog on, but I don't have any.

    Evie, CHJ, Cyndi, everybody (sorry I'm not keeping track very well)--it sure helps to hear how everyone else is handling, or has handled, this chemo regimen.  Even a very good medical team can't prepare us for all the possibilities.

    Hugs to all! 

    otter 

  • Jisman
    Jisman Member Posts: 96
    edited April 2008

    Question - do the effects of the steroids ramp up each time?  Certainly did for me.  More of everything - hot flashes, lack of sleep, hyped up/talking more - and then collapse into total fatigue for several days - kept sleeping, getting up for awhile and going back to sleep.  Good news is that nothing else seemed to be a significant problem this time around.

    Just one more tx to go and then on to radiation.  It's funny, the more I hear about radiation the more I am NOT looking forward to that.  With chemo, while I wasn't really looking forward to it, I was anxious to get on with the treatment.  Yes, nothing really is differnet with radiation in that regard but it just seems like such a hassle.  OK, BC is the hassle.  Well it is a journey that none of us signed up for but here we are and trying to make the best of it ... doing what we need to do to decrease our chance for a recurrence.

    To add to the hair stories ... most, but not all of my hair on my head is gone.  I'm ok with that (really) as I keep reminding myself that it means the chemo drugs are doing what they need to do AND I got 3 different wigs and an assortment of hats.  I actually feel pretty good in 2 of the 3 wigs and refer to one as my "sassy look".  Most of my hats are for Spring so I need the temperature to move up a bit further yet (and stay there) before they will get much use.  Enjoying not having to shave the legs as much.  But what is the story of still having some hair on my upper lip?  Not fair!

    As for how I feel throughout the 3 week cycles ... first week is my "every day is a surprise" week.  Second week is getting back to normal yet being careful about who I am around so I don't get sick.  Third week is my best week - and I always schedule some fun activities before getting the next tx.  I'm off work for now and doing whatever my body needs to stay as healhty as possible.  Somehow have kept my coloring so I don't look sick.  And when wearing my "sassy" wig, I have even gotten complements on how I look (now that is a bit weird).  Did the Look Good Feel Better (LGFB) program today so gaining confidence with eyeliner and other items that I didn't generally use.   Have some thinning of the brows and maybe lashes but still mostly there - hoping to be lucky on that front.

    Wishing all a no/low hot flash night and an easy se day tomorrow.

  • debap
    debap Member Posts: 51
    edited April 2008

    It sounds like a few of us are having tx#3 on Wed. 4/16.  I'll be thinking about you ladies.  I have heard that the 3rd is the worst, so I just want to get it over with.  I keep thinking in a month I'll be finished and waiting for my hair to come back in!!!  I'm a little nervous b/c I had a reaction tx#2, but hopefully with the pre-meds I will not have any problems.  I'll ask them to run it slow also.  Has anyone had any serious reactions? 

    cc01:  May I ask why you are having your ovaries removed?  I'm curious b/c I asked my onco about that and she really didn't give me a conclusive answer.  Congratulations on finishing chemo, I am so happy for you!

    Did anyone see 60 Minutes Sun. night?  There was a segment about an older gentleman who may have devised a cure for cancer with radio waves.  Pretty exciting!

    Debbie

  • lotodgs
    lotodgs Member Posts: 54
    edited April 2008

    Jismam, I too, had a wild time withthose steriods, first treatment was a wild ride,next time I went back they gave me samples of Nestesa, and the 3mg was the winner,I also take xnax at night to take the edge off. My ocon got me a prescription after the samples ran out, It did help with the sleep. Also, I take the first 2 early in am and the last dose aroungd 4 or 5 in afternoon, not to late before bedtime. Hope this will help you. We all need our rest.

  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited April 2008

    debap - I'll join you at the chemo bar on Wednesday.  It's my 5th (out of 6) but if you are getting 4 tx's, I guess we're the same: it's our "next to last".  And wahoo for that. 

    I just want to add that my 3rd tx was the "best so far" when I got to that point.  I had had problems with tx 1 & 2 (other problems & illnesses), so tx 3 for me was the smoothest.  I'm finding the fatigue is getting to me now, though, but overall after 4 tx's, I'm still feeling pretty decent.  Just don't ask me how I feel this Saturday!!!

    CHJ

  • kathys_hubby
    kathys_hubby Member Posts: 22
    edited April 2008

    Well, we're heading out in a couple of minutes for tx#2. I'm reading lots of comments about steroids, but to the best of my knowledge Kathy didn't get any. I have to ask about that today. Other than the Emend the first three days, she's not taking anything.  

    A side effect free day to all!

    Steve

  • artsee
    artsee Member Posts: 701
    edited April 2008

    Woo-Hoo..I"m going for #3 on Friday. sure hope it follows what CHJ says.

    algw....I have 4x as well. My onco was accualy quite surprised when my onco score was 35 (so was I ) He said to have a PICC line put into my arm. After reading some of these posts I am very glad he did that. It's really slick, no pain. The only thing thats not so nice is that I have to be careful when I shower or bathe. Oh.. Im dreaming of bubble baths...completely submerged.

    otter...I do the baking soda swish, and I have NEVER had my mouth soar. Works like a charm.

    Well, off to work. Only 2 days this week because of chem, yea....:<

    Hugs to all and hang in there.

    Evie

  • goldilocks
    goldilocks Member Posts: 106
    edited April 2008

    Morning all,

    Didn't get to post yesterday, I was out on Thursday,  Friday from work and had lots to catch up on. Also had a hard time getting into this site.

    Did get my voice back and don't have quite as much back, hip, muscle pain today. I did wake up to a very slick head today. My head is not tender, just shiny.

    Question: Has anyone had trouble with falling down?  I took a tumble this morning and wasn't doing anything particular.

    Believer: LGFG class tonight, look forward to meeting you. Let you all know how it goes.

    Happy Tuesday all.Cool

  • beachmom13
    beachmom13 Member Posts: 85
    edited April 2008

    Good morning ladies!  I've been reading you for the past several days - there was a lot here.  I'll be joining you on 4/23 for 4 tx, one every 3 weeks, then rad.  I went out yesterday and stocked up on all the things you've reccommended.  As many of you have said, I've bought more meds in the past couple of months than I have in the past many years.  I've decided to expect the worst, since I haven't done that in the past and it hasn't worked out.  That way everything will have be be better than expected.

    My dd and her friend took me wig shopping Saturday.  It didn't go so well.  I lost it in the shop, and the crying, off and on didn't stop until late Sunday.  My dh said that in our 5 years together, he had never seen me cry, but I've certainly made up for it in the past few months and he was concerned about my well being.  He can be concerned by baking me ginger snaps for my nausea days.  Heard from a friend that they worked wonderful for morning sickness.

    Thanks for all the input you've given so far.

  • algw
    algw Member Posts: 37
    edited April 2008

    Evie: I have been thinking a PICC line would be good for me. I can only see 3 halfway decent veins in my hand and if they go down like the last I may have damaged veins forever and pigment changes in the skin - ugh. And a port seems silly for only 3 more rounds. I plan to talk with my onc about it when I see him next Tues.  Do they put you out for that? Is it a major infection risk? Have to be on any antibiotics?

    beachmom: good luck! I have my 2nd tx on April 22. Same thing, rads to follow through the summer and then Tamoxifen. It's not bad, just DRINK before, during and after to flush everything through. I alternated water with some Gatorade which actually made me feel a little perkier.

    Made arrangements to get my head buzzed on Thursday night. My hair guy is doing it afterhours for privacy. Thank G-d. I have a feeling I will have some tears over it, but my dh will be there as always for support. I'm ready for it as I am leaving hair all over the place.....everywhere! I think everyone in my family had some in their dinner last night! I know, gross.

    goldilocks: I have not fallen down, but have definitely noticed a problem with general clumsiness, dropping things, etc. I managed to dump the entire contents of my wallet onto the conveyor belt at the grocery store the other day and the snotty, little teen clerk gave me an exasperated look, like 'you've gotta be kidding lady'. I wanted to smack her silly and say "I have chemo brain you little twit!" ....I am happy to say I kept my composure and therefore, dignity.

  • ladybugcyndi
    ladybugcyndi Member Posts: 35
    edited April 2008

    Yep, the dehydration was not fun, take it from me.  I promise that this time I will drink, drink, drink .. and make sure to continue!  Now, if we can just get my bp to stay on a regular schedule, life will be much simpler.  Tx #2 is in 2 days, and I am looking forward to getting it done and over with, just hope numbers are all good.

  • sharons
    sharons Member Posts: 177
    edited April 2008

    Hi all- I had trouble logging in yesterday.  Hope all goes well for those with chemo today...enjoy the benadryll naps...yesterday my bones hurt and I was REALLY depressed (I was just tired of everything...no hair, gaining 10 lbs, feeling bad)

    ...so good thing I didn't get on here..  took a walk in the woods last night...feel better today...heck I am almost there - only 1 more...

    Going out to a concert tonight...that should be fun.

    Sharon

  • KathyL
    KathyL Member Posts: 109
    edited April 2008

    Well, I overdid my return to exercise yesterday like a dummy.  I'm so eager to get this extra weight off NOW! I tried a pre-set program on the TM and just about killed myself.  Did some lunges with weights, too.  My legs are not happy today.  I stuck to a plain walk at a brisk pace for a half hour today instead.

    We've been talkative here, so I've got some reading and catching up to do.  Plus, I had trouble getting on the site yesterday.

    BD: You are one brave woman going "topless".  I can do it at home, but not out in public.  I guess part of it is b/c my hair growth is a mess right now.  I think if I was bald or all the hair was the same length I'd be more confident.  Right now I look like Uncle Fester.

    Hey, didn't realize you're 38.  We're close in age!  I'm 37.

    Steve:  I agree with the others... your JEdwards story is spooky.  I hope Kathy does well today.    They may give her steroids IV as a pre-med.  I doubt they'd skip them altogether.

    And I also felt exactly the same way about chemo--- I was perfectly healthy before it, and now you're going to put all these drugs in my body and make me feel sick and do what to me in the long term?  I think that's why all the lingering SEs p#$$ me off so much.

    Cc01:  Congrats on finishing the chemo part of your journey.  I know you still have stuff ahead... but hopefully this was the hardest part and IT'S DONE!!!

    As for chemopause...  I had written that I'd only skipped one month (February)... well, it looks like my body can't make up its mind.  I haven't had any cycle yet this month (expected it last week), and there's NO WAY I'm preggers!  Haven't had any of the hot flashes I'd expect though, so my body's probably just FUBAR.

    Ladybug:  chemo took away my taste of chocolate each round, too.  It would tease me a little by letting it partially come back for a few days before each round.  But happy to tell you, I'm 4 weeks out from last treatment and chocolate tastes DIVINE again!

    Evie and algw:  I think the hair loss was hard for me, too b/c it's such a long standing sign of BC and not easy to hide like the others.  I hated when dh would tell someone I was "sick"... d@*m it, I'm NOT sick, I'm going through chemo!

    Jisman:  I also looked at my 3 week cycle the way you did.  And it's been nice not having the stress of work to contend with.  I have to start back next month though, so the "party's" almost over.

    Debap:  I think I told you about my reactions already.  If not, forgive my chemo-brain and I'll tell you about them.

    Beachmom13: Welcome!  Good luck with your treatments.  This website is fantastic, and this thread is great.

  • Believer0711
    Believer0711 Member Posts: 64
    edited April 2008

    Hi everyone, don't know what happened, but I just lost everything I typed. Aargh!

    Anyway, hope you're ALL doing well.

    Goldie, definitely looking forward to our LGFG class tonight!!! I run into doors, and things too. Just have a poor sense of balance lately. Hoping I'll be back to normal soon!!!

    Steve, please tell Kathy hello!!!

    Take care everybody!

    God bless,

    Aurora

  • ladybugcyndi
    ladybugcyndi Member Posts: 35
    edited April 2008

    Kathy .. same thing for with the chocolate .. next tx is in 2 days, had chocolate today and it was soooooo ggoooooddd!  Well, at least I know it won't the sweets that make me gain any weight!  I haven't had anything sweet, until today, since I started chemo!  For me, the spicer it is, the better it tastes.  Fortunately it doesn't jack my stomach up!

  • Tigwin
    Tigwin Member Posts: 115
    edited April 2008

    Hello All,

     Kathy....good luck today...hope it is uneventful !!

    Today a few strand of hair came out UUUUGGGGG  it is starting to happen.  I was feeling so good the last two days I felt like I really did not have cancer.  I knew this was going to happen and Yes, I already lost my hair 19 years ago when I had a different cancer.  You think I would be prepared and okay with it but...I still do not want to lose my hair.  I guess there is no hiding it when you lose your hair you look like you have cancer. Strange a man can go bald and no one even thinks twice about it a women goes bald and we all feel the need to hide behind a wig.  oh well enough on the pitty party at least we are all in this together. Thanks to all of you for the posting and reading that each of you do...it really helps get through this when I have such positive sisters and brother!  helping me get through it.

    Have a great day.

    Shar

      
  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited April 2008

    Aww, tigwin, go ahead and throw yourself a pity party!  Just keep it as short as possible.  :)  The thing is that a man goes bald slowly over time, vs. in our case, it's hair one day, gone tomorrow!!  It's a hard thing - the one really visible sign that says, "I have cancer".  Everything else can be hidden, pretty much.  But hang in there, you'll do OK.  It's only temporary, it's only temporary, it's only temporary...

    CHJ

  • bdatlanta
    bdatlanta Member Posts: 40
    edited April 2008

    algw - next time you feel like smacking just visualize it and I bet it will feel really good. But, if you happen to forget the visualization exercise...don't worry we can come up with your bail money :)

    KathyL - Uncle Fester - LOL! I think I scared the crap out of some little girl today with my nudeness. She was about 4 years old and was getting off the elevator until she saw me and just kept staring and ran into a wall. Yeah, I agree with the body being FUBAR. I just love how the chemo has upped the menopause by 10 years - sweeet - just what I wanted for my 39th birthday.

    SharonS - I feel you on the depression. There is a mighty good reason why I don't have a full length mirror in my home. Yikes I saw the full figure at the doctor's office today and I just want to know what the hell happened to "my" body. This is soooo not the body I had last September. Full length mirrors + fluorescent lights + breast cancer = a very bad and depressed afternoon.

    Tigwin - I agree with Chj - go have yourself a pity party. I'm having one now while typing and eating pizza. What's the point of having a party without pizza (and yet I'm surprised I have gain weight).

    Had a very busy breast cancer day today:

    - last week I called about joining a breast cancer support group in town (got tired of my friend asking me to join). So the woman who runs the group called me today. Here's the weird part, before I get to "join" the group, she has to meet with me to make sure that I'm going to get what I need out of the group. OK I'm calling bullshit on that - it's a damn interview to see if I fit into the group. I think the lady is a psychiatrist or something - she announced herself as a Dr. something (chile, chemo brain kicked in while I was on the phone). Anyway, my "interview" is next Wednesday. Wonder if I should dress up in some fancy "let me join your group" clothes.

    - went to the radiation crew to finish simulation. OK I sooo don't like them. Although it could be me cause I seem to be having a shitty attitude every time someone mentions radiation. Anyway, they were running behind schedule so I jumped on a conference call I had with a client. Stayed on the conference call for 30 minutes and apparently the radiation crew was a little testy when I walked back into their office. Hell, they were the ones that were originally late.  They took xrays today and put more damn markings on me. I told the guy that I was taking a shower today and didn't really care if the markings came off because I have tattoos and I needed a damn shower.

    Oh, I have a crappy time slot of 4:15 pm everyday. This would be great if I had a traditional 9 to 5 and could leave the office early, but I work from home and from noon - 8 pm are my peak hours. Maybe if I'm really nice to them they will change it when a better slot becomes available - ok that idea is already dead in the water :)

    - Went to see the chemo onc. about the bloating. She's not sure what it is but she was also concerned since it hasn't gone done since last Thursday. My white cells are a little low. So they scheduled me for an ultrasound on Thursday. Thanks to you ladies, she is also scheduling me for the genetic testing - yeah!! I'm glad I joined this board because the BRCA testing was not on my radar.

    Now I'm going to take a hot shower and catch up on all the work and emails I missed from dealing with my boob all afternoon.

    Check you ladies (and Steve) out later.