Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?
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I am so glad I found this group. I too am an atheist, living in the Southern bible belt...it is not easy. I don't celebrate Christmas, but my coworkers who are all mostly christian insist on making me a part of all the goings on. I have reminded them that I am not Christian, but otherwise have been relatively quiet about it, but when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, you would not believe some of the things people said to me.
I had one woman tell me that God gave me breast cancer as a punishment for not believing in Jesus. I asked her if God punishes all the Jewish and Muslims like that because they don't believe in Jesus either and she told me yes. She also told me the only way that I would be able to survive this would be to accept christian beliefs. Oh my goodness. Another women told me that God let this happen for a reason and that it would make me a stronger, more religious person for having gone through it, and that it would change me for the better.
I do wish they would just keep their opinions to themselves. I have been coping and dealing with this just fine and it has not changed me as a person. I am still me!
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Creativevintage, Glad you found us. OMG, does she believe Christians never get diseases? I guess you can't choose who you work with, but geez. I've lived in the bible belt myself and feel very happy not to be there anymore.
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Just saying hi - and nice to see activity here again.....from the olden days of 2009, 2010. I am suddenly showing up as Green Tara. NO! I am Flannelette. Somehow technology went wrong here & I had to make a new password and came back as Green Tara. About to try to change that...
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Welcome back Flannelette.
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Yes Flannelette. Long time no see. Glad you posted.
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It seems to me that many christians are covered for any contingency--if they pray and the outcome is good then "God heard our prayers" on the other hand if the outcome is not so good then "God works in mysterious way" or " god never gives you more than you can handle" or if someone dies then it is "God so loved him/her that he wanted him/her in heaven".
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My mother died when I was 4yo and they told me the 'God wanted her in heaven' version. Then in Sunday school, when they talked about God's love, I thought 'he sure has a funny way of showing it'. None of it ever made sense to me.
Split-bean, Love the poster!
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Split-bean that's priceless. Love it
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Hey All, I'm posting again due to a desire to vent plus a bit of insomnia due to crashing (after chemo #3 yesterday) for 8 hours from 5 pm.
So, during my chemo yesterday my nurse replied to a comment I made that I should try positive thinking. It "helps" according to her. Fine, I just smiled and let her say whatever. I didn't debate her or said anything to reinforce her opinion. But I'm curious if any of you in this discussion group agrees with the positive thinking concept and if that really helps. To me, positive thinking has a supernatural quality that I associate with visualization. And visualization techniques are an unreliable form of treatment. However, I know not all atheist/faithless/godless people think the same way.
I try to be optimistic about my future, but I'm also realistic. I thought it was highly unlikely that I was going to reach an older age without any chronic medical conditions. But I, with a new found love of living to the fullest (embracing the good, bad, ugly and boring), I'll move on with whatever is left of my life thanks to many things available now. One of them being me living in the age of information and advanced scientific/medical technologies.
Because of that, I've become more curious and hungry for knowledge. Information and knowledge is what has led me to my current worldview of secular humanism. It's also motivating me to do much more. And I find that it gives me a break from thinking of all the possible complications this cancer diagnosis may have for me.
Happy Winter Solstice and Merry Mythmas!
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I'm not sure that it really helps with the disease,, but I find it helps my mental state if I try to focus on positive things instead of letting my mind go to the deep dark places. I have 2 friends who really believe you can visualize what you want, and things seem to work out for them. (not health issues, other things)
One thing my friend taught me is to not say "not". Instead of saying "I will not have nausea with this chemo". You should say, " my stomach is settled and happy". Put it in a positive spin,, because "otherwise, the universe hears everything except the not and you will get what you don't want". (according to my friend) So the universe would hear "I will have nausea with this chemo".
You don't have to buy into this, but I'm just throwing it out there. I had a cyst in my neck that was very close to my spinal cord and the surgeon said if he had to remove it, he'd have to fuse my spine. I really didn't want that! So I visualized "the cyst is smaller". And my recent MRI showed that it was gone! Now I don't believe that my thoughts made it go away, but hey,,,, it didn't hurt.
Happy Solstice and Happy Festivus!
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I don't think that "positive thinking" is a magical cure, but I do believe that depression can probably make things harder and worse. So I support the positive thinking line. I'm not so much into visualizations as appreciations. I get up in the morning and do a 30-minute walk/run. I make sure to appreciate the cats, the plants and my friends.
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Some recent research showed that positive thinking didn't influence outcomes. I do agree that paying attention to the good things we have leads to more happiness with what is. My book club read a book about women in Afghanistan and I woke up every morning for months being grateful I was not born there.
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There is always someone worse off, that's what I say. I don't have the most fantastic life, but it's the only one I've got and I am sure as hell trying to make the best of it. I am grateful every day for my amazing kids, that helps. I smile at everyone and try and be positive and make people happy, this attitude helps me amazingly. Peace to all
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I'm not into visualisation or affirmations but I am almost always positive and upbeat. I grew up with a Mother who was mostly down and never found much joy in life. I thought that was a sad, wasted life and vowed to never be like that. Of course I have the odd down, teary or angry moments, especially since my diagnosis. We all go to a "dark" place occasionally but I don't dwell there. What would be the point? What would it achieve? It would only rob me of the joy of today. Every day may not be a good day but there is something good in every day. So yes I believe in the power of positivity.
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I've seen that and all my jobs when working were stressful. Can't go back tho.
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If anyone knows how to turn off my stress button can they please tell me? I am trying my best but if you are an anxious person, it's not something you can turn off and having had breast cancer certainly doesn't help matters!!! I find drinking wine and having fun with my friends helps, but then I worry that wine will cause more breast cancer. You just can't seem to win!
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I think that moderate drinking of wine would not be that much of a risk factor. I'm sure someone could find a study somewhere that says it does,,, but I bet you can find a study saying carrots cause BC too. I vote for laughter and some good merlot.
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Positive thinking, laughter, healthier eating, wine, cannabis, etc., all good I suppose. But I'll keep in mind that those could work as complimentary therapies and not cures.
I also want to tell y'all of a really cool blogger I follow, had a very interesting (or satirical) view on how people get cancer. Made me think... and I read this before I was diagnosed this year nontheless. Check it out:
https://wisesloth.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/wise...scroll to the bottom of page 278
His online blog has that particular title removed. Maybe he considered it to be cruel or didn't want anyone to become paranoid.
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so good to see some new faces here. Flanelette, hi there Wren too.. I just have considered myself as a non-theist. I have no desire to spread the word. One thing that I did during active treatment was to try to get some relief from worrying. I set up one chair designated as my "worry chair " I I started to worry about something, I had to sit in that chair and do it. Somehow that worked for me. I also had a stress reduction routine. If I could feel the stress building, I would take a very deep breath while silently and slowly counting to 10. I would hold that breath for a slow count of ten and then slowly let it out again counting to 10, but backwards. I would do this 3 times. I could feel my body relaxing.
This works for me still and it has been 15 years.
And a smile can work wonders.
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I like the worry chair!! Excellent idea!!
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I forgot to mention that you do the breathing exercise every time you feel the stress. Do this for 3 weeks and it becomes a conditioned response.
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I am a strong proponent of "Whatever works"
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I am looking forward to Winter Solstice. It is on the night between 21 and 22 December, depending on where you are (early morning for me).
For me, this moment is something REAL to celebrate, so important for every living thing on earth.
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Mindfulness is the current buzz word to reduce stress. Some people charge $$$ for a class and teach it like it's something new that they have discovered. Just Google "meditation stress relief research" and see the number of classes for a fee.
The real deal is thousands of years old and is free. Here are audios on meditation and mindfulness from a Buddhist monk who's located in San Diego. He has a wonderful voice and a pragmatic attitude toward meditation. http://audiodharma.org/series/16/talk/1869/
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A wine store I passed the other day had this on their billboard out front:
Wine sale - Cheaper than therapy
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Hey all! Thanks for all the replies and support. I'd like to switch back to a related topic of my original post from Dec 2nd. Do any of you have atheist close friends or family?I was becoming very close to someone that claims to be non-religious but "christian". She doesn't attend church, but claims to have a relationship with god. So, the last time we were together, we got into a deep conversation. The topic was if she would accept her children's morals or lifestyle (when becoming adults) if they didn't keep her current morals. That conversation was long and complex. It seemed like she didn't think I can feel awe, wonderment and a sense a purpose due to my atheism. At one point she said that evolution also requires faith and it's also a theory. But her understanding of theory within science was incorrect. She was using theory as in a guess or speculation which I explained the difference. She was very confused in trying to figure why I lack belief.
Later on, she said her kids are not going to change their morals as they age. She never answered if she would keep a relationship if they did. So I think her love is conditional or bigoted. Although she says her friends are diverse including another atheist besides me.
I also had a conversation with another friendly acquaintance. She is Muslim and has some characteristics I like. But in our last conversation she said something that shows bigotry towards LGBT people.
I'm so torn about my relationships. These online discussions are good. But I crave close interaction. I struggle so much because I would've liked to connect with more people that are also atheist/humanist. The first friend I mention conflicts me the most. I thought we were becoming close friends. She had helped me in a crises prior to the cancer diagnosis, but I'm noticing due to other circumstances and our last meeting, the friendship is falling apart.
I'm getting tired of being guarded during conversations but I'm also getting bored with casual topics. Online discussions are ok sometimes but not enough. I'm a married lady but my relationship with husband is complicated too because he is also a conservative christian. When we married I was a christian. I have two teenage kids. They're aware of our different worldviews and agree with mine. But they are my kids and not a substitute for friends. Atheist Meetups felt unnatural or forced. Any other ideas or advice to deal with this lack of socialization? Are online discussions or internet chats the only method most atheists in the USA use to cope with loneliness?
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ALL my friends, who I've known for almost 50 years, are holier than thou, bigoted, holy rolling hypocrites who tell tall fairy tales. Where did I come from? They went from 'good' sinners to born again, always right, and they KNOW. I never told them I am an atheist, evil and going to hell. I'm sure I'll be dropped off at hell's door....and I'll get breast cancer as punishment.....never have a good life.....be alone....How ignorant. FU
When they pray for me I tell them IF god gave me BC, who the f--k are you to ask him to take it back?
The only people I can share with are my 2 adult children who live in the city and our conversations are mostly short, but we will be celebrating Newtonmas (love it) and festivas, with all the gifts, lights, and food.
It is lonely being an atheist, but it makes life easy. The only contact I have is here, and I love the humor, and reading the posts.
Winter is coming
enjoy
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Happy Yule!! It's the shortest day of the year.
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I don't know if you have access to a Unitarian church, but they are comfortable with agnostics and atheists. When we lived in Houston, that's where we went and took the kids. The 11:00 service was pretty religious, but the early service was not. The joke about Unitarians is that they believe in, at the most, one God. The churches do vary, however.
Seattle is pretty unchurched. Very low attendance with congregations having to combine. Many people think the ideal Sunday spiritual event is outside in the mountains, or sailing on a boat. I think evolution is even more miraculous to think that all this is the result. I told my son I thought that the interweaving of all things on earth is sacred.
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