Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?
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Welcome Englishmummy! We know what you mean. Those comments were never welcome. I didn't tell very many people just to avoid all that - plus I wanted people to look at my eyes, not my boobs.
We're thinking of moving to a smaller town and wondering how we'll meet people. The small town I grew up in had lots of activities centered on the church. I'm not sure I could attend a church anymore. The longer I'm away the stranger religious beliefs seem. I'm glad you found us here.
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Glad you found us, Englishmummy. What state is the small town in? If it's in the South, you are certainly correct that social life is predominately church centered. But, that's not to say it's exclusively centered on the church. Volunteering helps one to fit in and find friends. It gives one something non religious in common with people right away.
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I am an Atheist and I have breast cancer. I've started a new facebook support group for us:
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Welcome KarlaWatson, You are welcome though to discuss things here as well
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Wow! I just actually wrote to the moderators to ask where I might find a group of people who do not bring their "spirits and souls" to the breast cancer table. I'm so glad to have found this thread because it is, at least, a start for me. I am in need of community. I don't seem to fit in anywhere and it is getting lonely for me. I have specific, physical limitations now (results of surgery and treatment) and I am moving forward as best as I can. I am not without means - I am bright enough/resourceful enough to find a way to get through anything - logically and realistically. And I have the most beautiful husband and three (3) children (ages 10, 12 and 22). But I am so very tired of listening to others tell me that things are not so bad. It's become offensive and an additional burden. Things are often very bad and that's okay!!! That's life!!! I think the worst parts for me, are the moments of suffering. For me, cancer sucks and I am tired of feeling pain. My "attitude" is a direct reflection of my inner self - my real self...feeling things, thinking thoughts and trying to survive with a host of new, sometimes awful variables (including drugs which have hormonally altered me - both physically and emotionally). It is a glimpse of me. And I do not apologize for having a response to things unpleasant (or pleasant, for that matter). I'm tired of feeling like the real me....is not enough. I don't want to be quiet about things any more but somehow, no matter how I say it...my words are misinterpreted and I end up offending others - which is not at all, my intention....just as I am certain that no one intends to offend me either. We are not mind readers. I understand all of this! However, I have very little in common with anyone these days and it has become apparent that, we "humans" need to find commonality or there is a real feeling of disconnect attached. So, I am looking, searching and not giving up. I seek real support....based on facts....I find it comforting. Fact....I'm not depressed, although sometimes I am uninspired. I am not angry, although sometimes I do get frustrated. I have experienced HUGE change and I am in a PROCESS of transition - sometimes it is beautiful and sometimes, it's just AWKWARD, confusing and unpleasant!!! I am human....mortal!!! This is my....one life. Time is the only thing that will help me to put distance between this disease and healthy overall adjustment (I have faced personal hardship of equal proportions on other occasions - it didn't destroy me). I would love a to find a friend and join a conversation where I am welcome to be this person. I'm not healed yet...but I'm working on it. It would be so helpful if I had someone else to just chat with...someone of like mind. Are you out there? I need some support and I promise to give support back as well. Just please....do not ask me to cross my fingers, pray or or think positively! I live in this moment - it will always be the most important moment of my life/existence.
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PerAngusta, Welcome to this thread. I think we all have gone through or are going through the disconnect. Slowly over time some of that feeling fades. I think, though, part of the disconnect is due to the way we think that makes us atheists. Our first approach to problems and situations tends to be through logic then feelings. The majority approach situations through feelings then through logic.
I have come to the conclusion that atheists are born atheists. Some say that everyone is born atheist but I don't believe that's true. I think that the majority of people require religion to give structure and meaning to their lives. We somehow don't really need that structure and to some extent find it restrictive. The randomness of the universe doesn't bother us. Life is and that's good enough.
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Glad this popped to the fore just now; I'm not areligious, but prefer to put my trust in the oncologists in regards my cancer treatment. Off to pore over back pages.
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Welcome PerAngusta. I'm fortunate to have a mostly atheist family with no one offering to pray for me or telling me to put my trust in God. For the most part I've kept it private. I hate that "someone else is suffering more"--how rude to discount someone's feelings. It takes time to adjust to all the changes BC brings. For me, it has gradually become less important in my life. I hope things will improve for you.
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just read that brigadoonbenson has passed away. I will miss her posting here.0 -
OH Wren,, that is SOOO true. Yes, there is always someone who is suffering more,, but don't minimize my feelings. i am suffering too and who are "you" to say that my suffering is not as much as someone else's??Hi PerAugusta and welcome. I live in the South, so I get a lot of "i'm praying for you", and I just nod and says thanks. Put a quick end to the conversation. I am doing my best to live in the moment,, tend to do too much planning for my liking,, but I'm learning.
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glad to come upon this as I can't take the squishy warm religious feelings rolling around some of the other boards. I just can't relate. Everybody's got a right to believe (or not) what they want I'm glad to find a room without all that stuff
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Welcome aboard Suladog! Know what you mean about the warm squishy stuff.
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Sigh.....I suppose this is not the right place for me either. I've been advised that I am not an atheist, but rather, an agnostic. This is all new to me - you see, I lost my breasts and my Roman Catholic roots about the same time. ): They left, hand in hand - quite peacefully - nonetheless, they left with my acceptance/approval. Things were clear. Of course, they took other pieces of me with them and now I am just trying to do my best to continue to move forward with what remains. Some days are easier than others. Lately, I've been especially anxious and I'm not sure why. I just wanted to find someone to chat with and help me to put some distance....some TIME between this disease, its treatments and I. I will keep looking - maybe books?....maybe writing, myself?....maybe get out my oils and brushes?. In the interim, my thanks to those of you who expressed kindness - greatly appreciated!!
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Per, Sorry you don't feel comfortable. I've never heard agnostics aren't welcome.
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Per: you are welcome here. One does not have to be an atheist to be here. The people here are some atheist, some agnostic, some who just defy definition. All are welcome. Just know that no one here will be "praying" for you.Yes, Time will help. Writing/journaling and painting and other creative methods help too. I tend to get lost in books myself. Fond of murder mysteries. Please feel welcome. We are not a terribly active thread, but we are here. If you like to read, I would also recommend the Book Lovers Thread. If you look under the topic header "moving beyond cancer", you may find other interests, like gardening to hang out with.
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PerAngusta,
Labels, atheist/agnostic, are just hair splitting. One says "I have no belief in gods" the other says "I am not sure gods exist". Really, what's the difference? What they have in common is the thought that we need each other and we need to care for each other. There may be no one else.
Welcome and please continue to post.
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Per,
welcome..I don't know if there's a title for what I believe if I even believe in anything (except science and logic) 12 yrs Catholic education my parents paid for down the dumper
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Per Angusta,
Welcome aboard the train no-one wants to be on! Your user name really brought back memories to me. My high school motto was "Per Angusta, Ad Augusta" - through trials to triumph.
I am, by necessity, a closet atheist. I think the whole religion thing is total bs, but I work for a business owned by a very nice Exclusive Brethren family, so I have to be very careful to smile and nod when they say they are praying for me.
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Thank you folks!!! Again, your kindness is appreciated. Yes, Per Angusta, Ad Augusta....."from trials to triumph"..."through difficulties to honors"..."through difficulties to greatness". An excellent motto!!! I've always loved it....and often joked "from crappy to happy".
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Per,
I love the motto!!! Crappy to Happy! That needs to be needlepointed on a pillow
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Great motto!0 -
Per angusta: Gosh I learn something new each time I log on to BCO. I've just emailed that motto + your interpretation - from crappy to happy to a friend. Love, love love it.
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Hehehehehe...whatever gets us from point A to B with a smile!!! Right? Amazing how we can still laugh....even some days as the tears are fallin'...it CAN be done. "Crappy to happy" - it's a state of mind!!!! I'm so glad that no one was offended by my interpretation (lol) or unique vocabulary - I do know how to use the big words (hehehehe) but they are never as much fun!!!! Thank you for "getting this" and for getting me!!!! You've made me smile too!!! Ahhhhh....this is the connection I suppose I have been searching for! I really think that one, single smile per day is all that I need to help me through this!! Feel free to send me your ideas, thoughts, perspectives....as long as they are yours, sincere and from your own heart/mind...I will benefit from them!!!! We all will!!! Thanks ladies!!! Have a wonderful day!!!! Keep writing!!! It's working!!!!!
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I love the idea of a "crappy to happy" needlepoint pillow.....anybody sew? I am pretty sure they'd sell like hot cakes on etsy...0 -
Better yet, needlepoint kits that could be worked during chemo or when up all night because of steroids. Pink cannot be used for the lettering.
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that's a great idea - def. no pink for sure - I was a previous pink lover, I have dumped all my pink clothes and accessories - yuk! I think burlap and black....0 -
English,
I've never cared for pink and this certainly didn't improve my feelings for the color, I usually wear a lot of black, grey, white, navy, and brown anyway (raised in school uniforms) so those are my color of choice
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We wear school uniform in England too, well when I went - some do and some don't now. I homeschool my 3 here in the US so no uniform there... Those are good standard attire, wardrobe basics as my nan would say!
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Englishmum,
I went to an all girls school and so for 12 yrs I never had to think about how to dress myself except on vacations. I still have not gotten that used to wearing colors
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Do you regret going to an all girls high school or do you believe it was a good thing overall?
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