Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?
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I’m also in the south. I’ve started wearing hats at work and have had a lot of people say they are praying for me. Ok but surely there are things and people out there who need/deserve prayers more than I do. Better yet how about doing something more constructive for those who need it
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I told someone I knew from long ago about my diagnosis/treatment. He kind of chuckled and said now he had someone new to pray for. I thought, wow, glad I could help.
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I know that type of Christian. Praying, or saying they'll pray, is just a grab for attention. At least the guy you know is up front about it.
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To offer a prayer for someone in need is just about the least and laziest thing one can offer. Offer to do something or rather just do something for that person.
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AliceBastable: the end of your aunt's story made me spit my coffee all over the tablet for laughing out loud! You almost owe me a new one! LOL
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my elderly neighbor has been in a SNF for almost two weeks now. I go every single day to check on her and to keep an eye on staff. Her devoted friends from her church call her daily to offer prayers and not one of them has shown up to visit her at the SNF . She has frequently asked if they would visit her, bring her lunch or sit with her for a couple of hours to give me and her caregiver a break. Their response each and every time we have our own lives. Yes most of these women are in their 70s and 80s. Most of them drive and those who don't have private drivers. My neighbor always makes a face and comments" prayers don't mean a damn thing unless a person offers to help" I do find it interesting the same group of church people who cannot visit her or help never miss her huge Birthday Bash every year. Maybe the secret is offering gourmet food and great wine. I know Many religious people do offer their time and services to help people in need. There are a lot of people out there who don't.
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My article is being widely distributed. Here's the latest mention:
Not everyone will agree with male breast cancer advocate Rod's latest post on religion and cancer, but it's important we give space to this discussion. As a non-religious person myself, I appreciate that a strong faith is a truly wonderful coping strategy.. for some.. but for the rest of us, it simply isn't an option.
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Traveltext, Have you received any feedback from believers on your article about atheists?
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Traveltext: I can not find the article, just the comment about the article.
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Travel...which one of those 15 or so stories is about males and religion and cancer?
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Jo6359, it's a long tradition with Christians and food, all the way back to loaves and fishes and water into wine. They don't show up unless there's something in it for their stomach.
Yndorian, my aunt deserved a good story. She was a real sweetheart. I didn't care much for her when I was a child - she didn't have kids and was a real hoverer, always worried about something happening to me and my sister. But as an adult, I came to realize how much she loved us, and how lovable she was.
Traveltext, very cool.
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For those of you who didn't find the article - click the highlighted ROD - the 7th in line.
Thanks TravelText. Really nicely presented.
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Minus...thanks. The link to malebc.org is helpful. Never know when I'll learn about someone in need of that info.
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traveltext- very well written article. Thank you so much for sharing that link.
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AliceBastable, it sounds like your aunt was a very sweet lady ... She took literally the comment that her dh "went to a better place" ...that made me laugh.
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Traveltext, I just read your interesting article. I believe that faith and religion are not the same. Faith does not always need to be expressed through religion. Faith (for those who have it) is something very personal and free, but religion is a set of dogmas. And because of those dogmas there is procelitism ... and in many cases, unfortunately, terrorism
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I don't want to make anyone feel attacked, but I admit that I was surprised at how the commentary here seems to often skew toward being anti-religious rather than pro-atheism if that makes sense. I even went back to read the original post a couple of times over the past several months:
"Hi I am newly diagnosed and I know alot of people rely on their faith for support and find great peace with that, however I am a atheist and was wondering if anyone else here was also."
When I initially visited and asked about coping with a cancer diagnosis without faith, everyone was exceptionally gracious about sharing what they find comforting or motivating, such as communing with nature and meditation. Similarly, you generously shared your thoughts with TravelText in support of his interesting article. However, the thread seems to inevitably move back to disparaging comments about this religion or that person attending a church of a particular denomination.
Don't get me wrong, we've all known a Church Lady who is a little more special than everyone else. The pastor of a Southern Baptist church I attended briefly basically kicked me out when I asked too many questions about why women weren't pastors there. He phrased it in genteel fashion suggesting I might be "happier at a more liberal church." When I attended a more liberal church, my pastor and I went round and round about homosexuality. He kept equating it to single people remaining chaste, which I rejected because I could get married one day, but gay marriage wasn't legal in my state so a gay person would be expected to be celibate forever. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I could never reconcile the supernatural aspect of Christian belief. Added to philosophical differences, I walked away knowing that would put me at odds with most of my family and friends.
Why, then, have I found myself conflicted about the criticism of religion that periodically dominates here? I think it's because I've encountered an incredible kindness and generosity of not just spirit, but time, money and energy given by my Christian and Jewish friends. I've not experienced any of the cruelty some of you have mentioned. Although I'll speak up loudly on matters like separation of church and state or defense of gay marriage, I still know that many of my moral values stem from Judeo-Christian beliefs.
I can't see the deleted posts from Joesomebody,. It's unfortunate timing that I finally got around to writing this note and it comes on the heels of what were apparently rude and disrespectful comments. That's unacceptable. Still, there frequently seems to be a negative tone that feels dispiriting. We all arrived at rejecting organized religion via our own paths and I think it's important to have a place to vent. As has been noted, there are numerous prayer-related threads, but a dearth of threads for those who don't believe in divine intervention. I've greatly enjoyed many of the quotes I've seen here and the tots and pears cartoon cracked me up. I'm simply sharing my perception that it sometimes feels like there is an emphasis on what religious folks are doing wrong instead of speaking to the positive impact of atheistic beliefs. I acknowledge that I'm not sure if I would properly define myself as an agnostic or an atheist, but I am trying to garner wisdom from the experiences of those of you who have walked this walk longer than I. Whew! If you read this far, thank you!
Lyn
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VLH - You make some thoughtful and good points. Agreed. This thread has included what you describe; negative stories about religion. Yes, also criticism. And, as you also point out, we need this space to be a safe place to vent. Like you, I've certainly also known very kind and wonderful people who are religious.
I have, unfortunately, seen religion do a lot of harm to people in my life. I've seen hypocrisy and exclusion up close. Worldwide, I worry about the power of organized religion. For some of us, coming to atheism is attached to negative church experiences. My Secular Humanist guiding principles live alongside disappointment with religion.
It's like the white space in a painting, whose presence emphasizes the rest of the image. The absence of religion is the presence of atheism for me, and it's hard to separate those two thoughts, and not reflect on why I'm choosing my path.
I am grateful for this space. I'm interested to hear everyone's stories, both positive and negative observations. I'm appreciating hearing so many varied points of view.
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The article is here:
http://malebc.org/thanks-for-your-offer-of-prayer-...magiclight, One of the stories was from the point of view of a male with bc, that was the author's voice, mine. We need to get some more men posting here on atheism!
Yndorian1, Faith would be another article, I'd suggest. Faith obviously is a part of most religions, but having faith does not require any religion.
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I have several close friends who I would describe as very religious, in a "walk the walk" way. They have no problem with my atheism. They see that my value system and behavior in the world are similar to theirs. I notice their non-judgement, goodness and love. We get to the same place, but in different ways.
Different inner beliefs do not have to preclude intimacy and love between sympatico people!
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santabarbarian, I agree! I also have good friends like that. Their faith supports their lives. They are good people and treat others with respect and kindness. Having faith or following a religion doesn't make that impossible.
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Mountainmia and santabarbara- I have several very close friends who are devout and they practice their faith daily with kindness, generosity and compassion for others . My brother is also a minister and he is a very generous and loving person . On this site, I do find it beneficial to share the negative as well as the positive stories on atheism. In my eyes, the key word is respecting others opinions even if you don't agree with those opinions.
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Always respect people. Opinions are another matter. One can dispute, refute, or repudiate opinions.
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ananda8- you are correct. You can respect the person without respecting the opinion. I worded it poorly.
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Absolutely love it!
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Well, that pretty much says it all!
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Perfect!!
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ananada8- love it
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👍👍❤️❤️.
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