Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?
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I am so happy I found this thread. This is the place for me. Organized religion feels so "man-made" to me, too many rules, drama .... Although I do feel like I'm a very spiritual person.
Here is what I know, SoCalLisa made this blanket with love for a stranger. (It's wonderful and recipient is sure to love it) It's about helping each other. I'm all about finding peace and joy. The sun on my skin, greetings from my dogs, walks in the woods, spider webs, there is so much to inspire and uplift.
How do you handle it when people want to pray for you. I'm so quiet about my anti-religion views, in the closet so to speak. I've been asking people to send me positive thoughts. Is that weird?
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Not weird at all, ScienceGirl (good to see you here, too). I live in the deep South, about as strong as the bible belt gets, I think, and almost every day someone says they're praying for me. I too am pretty much "closeted" where my views are concerned (I'm not even very "spiritual," although I do wonder what happens to our "energy" after we die) -- very few folks around here would understand and, because I don't like to be proselytized, I don't want to try to argue my views to others. But, I was "religious" at one time in my life, so I understand where they're coming from. When people say they're praying for me, I simply say thank you, because I know their hearts are in the right place -- they wish they could help and this is the best way they know how. Anyhow, I think the good energy can't hurt! I did have one lady at school ask if I had a "relationship" with Jesus and I told her I didn't really believe that way. She was kind of taken aback, but said she'd pray for me anyhow.
As for friends and family, I always ask for good thoughts and energy.
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Hi JulieH
Thanks for your reply. I feel for you living in the South, I can imagine that religion pervades a lot of conversations there. I live in NJ, and especially at work (a bunch of geeks) I can voice my views carefully without much ridicule. I'll never forget the horror on the face of a neighbor when I told her I didn't believe in Hell. She was so upset. That was the end of my sharing.
I'm sending you good energy today ; )
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Welcome ScienceGirl. I spent some time in the South as well and sometimes people would tell me what church they attended when they introduced themselves. There I was with only my name to give them. That was a looooonnnngg pause.
Lisa: Beautiful!
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Welcome ScienceGirl and all our newcomers!
Maya .. I moved from San Diego to the south .. and you are spot on with your description!
Bren
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Hello...I was just diagnosed with breast cancer two days ago. I love words and will be using my facebook to talk about what is happening to me. I've already found that after just this short time, I am being inundated with love and support from my friends and family. However (I guess you knew there'd be one of those) I am Not. Religious. At. All. and am uncomfortable with how to respond to well-meaning people that tell me god will get me through this and that they are praying for me. I'm kind of just saying, "thanks for your love and support" and sidestepping the whole god thing. I imagine, since this thread started a long time ago, that there are some good ideas of what to say. As one woman on this thread recently mentioned, I don't make a big deal out of my lack of faith.
And maybe what I am looking for, specifically, is a community of women unencumbered by the delusions religion, but heavy with spirituality and support. A friend of mine told me recently, what you feed will grow, and so that is what I would like to add to my life. Peace.
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Welcome Christine. I'm so sorry about your diagnosis. You're likely feeling frightened right now and we understand.
When someone says they'll pray for me and I feel they are sincere, I just say thanks. Your statement is excellent. My feelings about a god getting me through BC was usually, why didn't this god keep me from getting it? This gets into my spiritual space and makes me feel uncomfortable, so I'd probably just change the subject. But someone who kept after me would find me backing away from them. I did lose a few along the way, but I believe I'm better for moving on.
I am spiritual and light candles for those going through tough times. I'm very close with nature and animals and these healing influences helped me. I still look to them for comfort and inspiration.
You'll get through this and we'll help support you along the way.
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Christine, I like your answer, too. "Love and support" *is* what these people are giving you. It's like they're gathering in your corner to do whatever they can to help.
When I was first diagnosed, I felt like I was knight getting ready for battle. Each expression of love and support was like a piece of armor, and the person who uttered it was a squire helping me to don the protective equipment needed for the upcoming fight. It helped me feel strong.
--CindyMN
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Christine I think you have nailed the answer and need no help from us. Its just that person's version of love and support, at least as long as all they do is say they are praying for us and aren't trying to tell us the reason we are in this place is because of our lack of religon.
I never take offers of pray negatively. My husband likes what Penn/Teller [never remember which one] said about how he views such things as a kindness on behalf of the person because if you seriously believe in hell, what kind of mean person wouldn't offer to pray for others?
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Welcome, and thank you, Science Girl - I could FEEEEEEL the sunshine and warmth as I was reading your post.
Sorry you had to join this "club" no one wants to be in Christine, the first few days are, well they were for me, hideous and a blur. I remember every few seconds feeling like someone had just kicked me in the stomach. As you learn more information about the type of bc you have, you'll find specific threads to answer all your questions.
The healing here, is the best, well IMHO. I don't have any answers - just learned to say "thank you" and assumed someone meant well when they were concerned about me. I've never fit into any of the pigeon holes society has created, but gather the best from what I find - a lot of it expressed by the women on this thread, and hope you find it as healing as I do.
Meanwhile, try to be as gentle with yourself as you can - those first few days, well, it gets easier to deal with as you move on.
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Welcome Christine .. I am glad to see you. The first few days after a diagnosis are really hard. Our minds are reeling and our emotions are on overdrive. We'll help you get through this. There are lots of wonderful threads here too for newcomers and I know you'll be welcome wherever you land.
Just know we're thinking of you .. stay close and we'll be right at your side.
Hugs,
Bren
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Wow, our little group is expanding day by day! Welcome everyone -- it's good to have a safe haven where we can share our thoughts without insult or ostracism.
ScienceGirl -- you said that religion feels "man-made". Well, it is in fact! And that's one of the reasons I started asking too many questions without getting any satisfactory answers as a teenager. I finally came to the conclusion that if I could stop believing in Santa Claus (because my little 7-year-old head told me Santa was illogical and this thinking was re-inforced by older friends!) then I could apply the same logic to my parents' religion (Christian Protestant). You just can't MAKE people believe in something. I think, as long as we abide by the Golden Rule -- common to most if not all religions -- then we're doing the right thing without having to "believe" in anything other than ourselves and each other. At the same time, I do not regret one bit my religious upbringing. But I AM glad I had the ability and the freedom to reach my conclusions without any harassment.
Hugs and warm wishes to you all!
Linda
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All I can say is that with my mother's diagnosis 7 years ago, the only reason she is still here today is the healing of the Lord Jesus Christ. No science, stictly a healing by God. I have recently been diagnosed and I'm putting my faith in what I have witnessed, and of course, I'm not an idiot, all the science available to us as well. I wish you the best in your journey.
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Hello crisann - I would be interested in hearing about what you witnessed with your mother. Was she dx with breast cancer? When you say "no science" do you mean she had no medical treatment? or, did she have medical treatment, plus her healing. I'm an atheist, but oddly, do believe there can be "healings". Not in the way you see them, in your Christian context - in another way I of course don't understand.
For instance, the night before receiving my pathology report, I had a vivid dream of my mother and I (my mom died 24 yrs ago) armed with brooms and we were sweeping away big yellow balls that were coming down a sticky, wet, pink, flowing pavement. My mom had had a radical mx many years ago, but lived 40 more years, and all through my dx and treatments I took her for my model and mentor. So, I took this to be some sort of signal from my immune system or ?? that "something" - some power - inside me - - was battling the cancer blobs in a vigorous way, and I "knew" I was going to be all right.
I have heard that people who believe in voodoo can die from knowing spells are cast on them. I don't think we really know that much about the mind/emotion/body connection.
I'm also in no way into the "paranormal". Just interested in how anybody heals. could be Carlos Castaneda or a holy roller.
would you mind telling a bit more of the story?
I'm sorry you have to be in the bc club.
Arlene
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For years before my diagnosis, I had a recurring dream.....well I would be in a dream state, that I was in bed and there was an evil presence in the room but I couldn't move. I would cry out in my sleep, I was so frightened. Some times it would wake my daughter up. Always remember calling out her name in a muffled way. Since my lumpectomy, I have no longer had that dream. I find that interesting. Was my subconscious trying to tell me there was an evil presence in my body?
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Hummmm - months before dx I knew something??? was wrong. When I got the mamo call back - while everybody told me it was nothing - I knew it was cancer.
At Wellspring they have this program called "Brain Fog" - some people think it is the chemo that frys your brain, others the stress of dx - but researchers found (from people who kept regular journals, that the fog comes before the dx- it's messing with our bodies and our brains.
I wonder if C changes energy patterns in our body.
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Off topic for a moment, please excuse - i don't often post, I had never seen
Bluedahlia's icon before - oh my, Jim Morrison was gorgeous.....those days when young men had beautiful long hair.....sigh, I'm showing my age...thank you, blue dahlia.
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Many months before my diagnosis I had very horrible things happening to
my nerves, lots of pain and loss of control...well, after surgery and chemo
it went away and I always attributed it to that, but later
I was diagnosed with paraneoplastic syndrome where the T-cells
in our body attack nerve cells instead of the solid cancer tumor..
once out, it stops. But some of the damage stays..
so sometimes our body is telling us something, only we don't
know what is happening..
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Thank you, Maya2. Yes, I am scared. I don't even know the extent of my cancer yet, just that I have it, and where.
I decided to be proactive, and posted on my facebook that I was not religious at all, but that I appreciated all positive support and energy that everyone was sending my way. I didn't exactly state that I didn't believe in god (at least the way they do...) but I came out of the closet just a little.
I'm looking for some good music that I can play before I go to sleep, that has healing qualities. Any suggestions? I am already a reiki practitioner, and practice meditation and other mindfulness, prior to this diagnosis.
Peace.
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Christine, posting on this thread was one of the first times I "came out" of my atheist closet, so I applaud you for your honesty on Facebook. I have had some pretty awful experiences with face-to-face conversations with loved ones about this topic, so I don't tell many people. Still, it's a big part of who I am and what I'm not. Sigh.
I had a relaxation CD of ocean sounds that I put on my iPod and I would listen to it to help calm me down. I carried that electric pink iPod everywhere, even into procedure rooms. So I listened to the ocean during my needle biopsies and during two bone scans. Helpful during my pre-op stuff, too. I'm sure some of the other women here will have more music ideas.
I tended to repetively listen to a couple of Peter Gabriel songs: "In Your Eyes" and "Shaking the Tree," along with "Shambala" by Three Dog Night and some close harmony work by CSNY.
--CindyMN
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I think dreams are very telling. And how our bodies try to tell us stuff before we consciously clue in that something's wrong. I just watched the movie Inception -- about dreams and a bit of corporate espionage -- very interesting. Not related to what the conversation is here, but a cool movie.
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Nothing relaxes me like the sound of frogs - I have a cheapie cd I picked up once called "the frog chorus" and all it is is 100s - maybe 1000s - of frogs - spring peepers etc, doing their thing. Just love it, - monotonously beautiful and serene. I play it while going to sleep.
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CindyMN - Great taste in music!
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Christine: I took Baroque music with me to surgery and played it through earphones--or you can ask them to put it on a player if one is available. Baroque music has 60 beats a minute which may help regulate your heartbeat during surgery.
I've also used uplifting music, having taken Yanni's music in during another surgery. I had fewer side effects from the anesthesia and felt better faster when I listened to music during my surgery.
Also, I asked my doctor to tell me from time to time that I was okay, everything was going well, etc. And if something went wrong to tell me that too and what she was going to do to fix it.
Wishing you the best news possible.
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Christine...........might I suggest you try Melody Gardot for some soul-soothing music.
For one so young, she has experienced more pain than any person should in one lifetime, but that has brought her to this beautiful music from her soul which, I find, always soothes.
I would put the link here but Mozilla interferes on my pc, so just go to youtube and once on her vids, go to 'Sweet Memories' first.
Sheila.
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I haven't read all of the replies to your initial post, but I find it comforting that there are so many of us out there. I appreciate and respect my family and friends who do believe in God and/or who do subscribe to a particular religion. However, I don't appreciate having god and religion thrown in my face by complete strangers. Even some of my farther-flung family members forget my own beliefs, and seem only interested in theirs. Does adding my name to prayer lists help me or them?
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It probably gives them something to do, so they don't feel so helpless. I've often thought that religions were formed to impose order on the chaos that is life. It's all part of "God's plan." Good people who go through terrible things on Earth will get their just rewards in Heaven, etc.
My mom and sister are very religious and I know they find it comforting to believe that there's someone in charge of things. Me, I'm more of a "chaos happens" kind of girl. <grin>
--CindyMN
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Hi Chumfry .. Welcome Mfrench!
Nice to see this thread active again. I don't mind people praying for me .. just means they're thinking about me.
What bugs me is the thinking that everything that happens is God's will. And somehow we need to be taught a lesson by God for anything that happens good or bad in our lives.
Hope everyone is having a good day!
Bren
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Hi all - I'm an atheist ( don't believe in the big guy in the sky) but also spiritually inclined. I rec'd a sweet 'Wisdom of the East" calendar for new year. I'd like to post the quote I find each morning.
Today's is: Never say, "O Lord, I am a miserable sinner."
Who will help you?
It is you who must help the universe.
-Swami Vivekananda
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Souad .. thank you for the quote. I hope you will post one every day.
Bren
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