Shopping/packing/to-do list for surgery + recovery....
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Hi knmtwins, For me, the lozenges were the most important thing, that I didn't have LOL I woke starving after my surgery and all they had for me, was sandwiches. Trying to swallow white bread, after having that breathing tube during surgery, was beyond ridiculous! The Nurses scattered all over the place trying to find something for me. So it is something I always mention to others, about to have the surgery.
Hi FePrincess, this is a really anxious time for you, we all understand how the waiting and the not knowing plays on your mind. I am one who had a Umx, just one breast removed, but no recon. I certainly don't want to minimize anyone's experience, just to let you know that experiences, can be quite different.
For me there was no pain, just strange sensations and annoyance from the drain. I spent the night of my surgery walking the halls of the Hospital having coffee and talking to the Nurses. I was out the following morning, even went to a mall to do some shopping on the way home. I never needed any pain relief, but in saying that, my procedure was much less, than many here. The whole surgery experience was far less, than my imagination and fear, had conjured up!
We are all different. Often you will find that the women, like kmntwins who posted above, who have the tissue expanders put in at the time of their Mx surgery have more pain and tightness and of course it is a longer surgery, than a simple Mx.
By all means, if you think you will feel more confident, if you have some meds to fall back on, speak to your Doctor. Your Anesthetist will look after you and as others have suggested, it may be an idea to check what meds are listed for you, post surgery, should you need them.
All the very best! Let us know how you're doing, it won't be long and you'll be on this side of the surgery, sharing your experience! Hugs to you!
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Fe - went to hospital at 5:30am on a Tuesday, left the following afternoon
Muscle relaxer is because the tissue expander is put between your ribs and your pec mucsle, so the pec needs to relax.
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Fe_Princess, I spent two nights in the hospital for BMX and TE placement. My exchange surgery was three months later at a surgical center, and I did not spend the night. Both went well. I did use Rx painkillers and muscle relaxers as prescribed. Within a few days though, I was able to lengthen the time between doses, and I switched to OTC meds fairly quickly.
Btw, is the Fe in your name the element Iron for Iron Princess? Just curious.
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Yes Janet 2014, It's my racing dirt-bike name. I've been a rider all my life. Thank you so much for your posts. I am going to the Hospital very shortly and will write back when I am safely home.
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Arciom, I have my lozenges! in my bag with cashmere button up, stuffed bear, pillow, book, magazine, camisoles, chapstick, comb, toothbrush, slippers, and luck trinkets from all my friends.
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Hugs to you Fe Princess, we will see you on the other side of the surgery, take care of you!
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I brought my wife home from surgery earlier today. She had an onconoplasty consisting of a right side lumpectomy and a reduction and lift on both breasts ( she calls this her "silver lining"). Two nodes were both clear!!
I want to thank the wonderful, amazing, and caring women who have contributed to this thread. Thanks to you all I had as much ready for her at the hospital and at home as was humanly possible. I had it all, from stool softness to lozenges and extension cords!
You ladies enabled me to look like Superman to my wife during a time when I have felt particularly helpless. It's a terrible feeling for a husband to not be able to protect his wife from frightening and painful events.
Thank you all so much, I've lurked these boards since her diagnosis and have found them to be a great source of wisdom and information. May you all be blessed during this season of renewal and rebirth.
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Tammyshubby, so glad we could help... is your wife FePrincess? So glad for the clear nodes news! Now that you are home, you get even more to do. Strip her drains, if she has them, journal when each med is given and set an alarm for them, you can do all this on your phone, but if she is a control freak like me, she will want to see it on paper too. I had a small journal, that this was written in and I'd also use it to write things down. I'd love to say, I wrote brilliant poems or thoughts, but it was more things I would forget, like, I'd like some OJ, or apple sauce. Monitor the potty habits and if she hasn't gone, tomorrow night have her drink some Mirilax, if that doesn't work, the next day may need to be hot prune juice (add fresh lemon, makes it tolerable, think a very sweet hot tea), this might cause cramping, so she might prefer, Magnesium Citrate at bedtime best, but YUCK! I did 1/2 bottle to same amount gateraide. BTW laxatives should be drunk as quick as possible for maximum results. She will need some food with pain pills, my husband would fill a thermos with milk before he went to bed and have it and some cookies or graham crackers, ready for pill time. In the morning he would bring cinnamon sugar toast and my coffee (I drink it 2/3 coffee 1/3 milk, so it was 'almost' a protein). I've maybe had 10 pieces since I was a kid, and I LOVED it daily after surgery. In the middle of the day it was a piece of cheese, crackers and water. When I'd get out of bed to use the bathroom, he'd sweep the crumbs off the sheets and covers. To me, biggest thing was my arms always being supported equally (but I had a double mastectomy with implants, so different surgeries). The pillow would move and I'd be stuck, I didn't have the strength to move them. I'd also get hot, a fan by the bed was a godsend, but I was in chemopause. Each day she will improve monumentally (today she might be as helpless as a baby, and that can be scary, but it does get better quickly) So glad we have been here to help.
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Hi there Tammyhubby! So glad your wife is through to this side of the surgery and doing well. You have no idea how great it is to have your very own Superman! Your wife is very fortunate to have you! I have one too! LOL
I understand what you mean about feeling helpless, my Husband explained the same feelings and he did just as you have, reading and educating himself, as much as possible. I found his unswerving encouragement, was key to me not having any self confidence issues, as we had decided on a Umx and no reconstruction. I was a little nervous about showing him my scar, the day after my Mx surgery, but his response put all my fears to rest. He simply said "Wow! that will heal really well!" and "You don't need 2 boobs to be gorgeous!"
It is so great to hear that all our tips are helpful to others, following on this path, As you have learned, there is a pay it forward, ethic here, at BCO where the circle surrounds us all, with caring understanding people. There is a thread for husbands and partners that may interest you, too.
I wish you and your wife all the very best. I hope she has a speedy, uneventful, recovery, Take care!
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knmtwins and Ariom thank you. I do feel like I was prepared by the info shared on this forum. Ariom, I'm moving forward: much like your husband-I've been reading and researching like crazy, as that seems like something I can actually DO to help her in treatment. You know how us guys behave, we want a wrench or a hammer so we can fix something!
knmtwins, thanks for the advice as she seems to be struggling with constipation this morning, feeling bloated and "heavy". We will give your suggestions a try!
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Hi Tammyshubby! I do understand how men want to fix stuff and this just isn't something that can be fixed. It's tough for men having to adapt, but you're doing so well. I bet your wife is going to do really well, with your support.
Plenty of water, helps flush the meds from the system and helps to get things moving again.
All the best to you both!
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This was my must have!!! I loved it and even wore it to my docs wit leggings Brobe
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Fe_Princess,
I was in the hospital only over night. I had a bi-lateral mastectomy with reconstruction with tissue expanders. I am also going smaller. I was a triple D. I still have the expanders because my reconstruction surgeon wants to wait until after all my chemo and radiation are finished to complete my reconstruction. The main reason is because the radiation will shrink my skin and of course that's only going to be on one side so this way the reconstruction surgeon can make the necessary adjustments before he puts in the final implants.
I hope your surgery went well and you are recovering well. I think I hated the drains worst of all but be careful with them. Mine started to get infected so I had my surgeon take them out after 2 weeks and my whole breast and chest area got infection. I was on antibiotics for 3 weeks to get rid of the infection. I am just glad all that is over.
Keep us posted and remember your meds. There is no reason to suffer through any of this. You don't have to be tough. Just be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest. Drink plenty of water. And you can always come here for support. Don't be afraid to cry, vent, get mad, get glad, and thankful. we get it. We have been there. Or are there. We are all bc sisters.
Take care
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tammyshubby,
I read your posts and cried. I think it is amazing that you are so proactive in the care for your wife. She is a very lucky woman to have you in her life. You truly are her Superman.
Do you mind if I ask how long you have been married? I have been married for 24 years and my hubby hasn't been near as supportive as you have. He will go with me to my doctor appointments and sometimes go with me to chemotherapy. He went with me to the hospital for surgery. But he hasn't and I don't expect him to cook a single meal for me. He only sweeps and mops the house if we are having a family get together which he only did that 2 times since I was diagnosed. Enough of that....
Your wife is blessed to have you. Take care of yourself too Superman.
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OMG....this is a wealth of info...thanks guys!!! I have to write all this down
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What's a brobe? I just vented on another thread I go to and now I'll vent here. Does anyone know why we have a quota on private messages. I can't respond to a private message because I reached my quota for the day. What does that mean. I had a crappy day...hit every single red light, traffic sucks here in South Florida and I just wanted to talk to somebody. Frustrated, anxious, and angry.
Anyway, let me introduce myself here. My name is Lori I am 54 years old and married 20 years. I have a 25 year old and 17 yr old twins. The rest you know. I realized I never really introduced myself.
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There is a quota on PMs for new members to avoid spamming and mass advertising. I know it's frustrating when you just join and are limited and there have been a number of complaints to the moderators regarding this. I'm not sure when the restriction is lifted
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Dear Lmonelli
We are sorry you are frustrated by your PM capability. Yes there is a limitation on PMs (as SpecialK mentioned) allowed to new people, but there is an automated system that will give you full rights in time and postings, which is normal for many Forums. Recent registrants are allowed only a limited number of PMs each day, but there is no limit on posts.
This protects you from spammers joining and PMíng ás many people as they can, which happens otherwise. You are welcome to vent your frustration, which is fine, but the process is there for a valid reason, so will remain. It won't take long before you will have that limitation lifted, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hope this clears the situation regarding your problem.
All the best, The Mods
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One thing I'm glad I had was a long phone charger so I could have my phone close at hand. I had a UMX on my right side and I'm left handed so eating and texting weren't an issue. It was nice to get a text now and again from my husband during those few hours I was awake and in the hospital and he couldn't be there due to work. (There wasn't much reason for him to be at the hospital and I felt way better knowing he was at work - we both work for the same organization and it was peace of mind for me to know he was taking care of things.) Went in mid-morning and home the following afternoon. Didn't need much in the hospital and was thankful for the little TV that I could mindlessly watch in the middle of the night when I was awake, but appreciated the suggestions for aftercare at home from previous posts here and had everything set up at home within easy reach before I went in for surgery.
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Lmonelli,
I am sorry to hear that you had a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day for you. This is one of the most supportive group of people I have ever been involved with. It's ok to vent here.
Take care and stay in touch.
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I'm a compulsive planner too. I'm meeting with my surgeon on Monday so I don't even know what is happening yet but this has moved very quickly. The diagnosis came in Thursday yesterday and the lump in my breast has been growing very quickly. It wasn't there in January and now it's the size of a golf ball and there's lymph node involvement.
I'm worried about going home on my own. My husband died a year and a half ago so I have no help at home and I got a very bad infection from the biopsy, so I haven't been able to do anything to prepare. My daughter wants me to come home with her but their house is quite small and they have a three-year-old who I love but she loves to give me grandma big kisses and hugs and I know that's going to hurt. Any suggestions would help oh yes and I also just recovering from a broken leg and blood clots in my lungs this is not been a good couple of years.
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Hello All, I spent two days in the hospital. I couldn't get my pain under control. I ended up having to have an expander on my left breast which had the mastectomy. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain I experienced. I couldn't believe this was me lying in the hospital in that much pain. I have been home since April 2nd and of course I am healing a little everyday, but this expander is really awful. I must say that I love having these boards to come to and read. I am glad the mastectomy is over and I am still waiting for the margin results. I am disappointed that I have to have another surgery and go under for a 4th time. My schedule is so up in air since I don't know when my last surgery will be. My doctor gave me a sling for my left arm which keeps me from using it. I notice if I use it just a little is when the pain increases. Sleeping had been on & off as well. I think I've had one good night. Sorry to be such a downer but there is nothing easy about this. Can you all share experience with pain levels, going back to work, depression, heavy sigh...
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sorry you are still hurting Fe princess. Me too. I got a steroid shot since the nerve pain was intense. My carpal tunnel is really bad from all the swelling too.waiting for the nurse to call me back today with next steps. I started neurontin for the nerve pain too, and it has helped a bit. Im on the March 2015 surgery thread, please post there too so you can get more feedback from everybody. I don't think this thread is very active except for surgery to do lists. Hugs
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Fe_Princess I agree with Gatomalgo get onto the March Surgery page. We can follow you over there, but more importantly, you will be with others going through the same thing at the same time. I love my December Surgery Sisters page.
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Will do thanks!
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Just purchased pink pockets on line for drains. They come in package of 5 for 19.99. They have velcro so they attach to the inside of your blouses and you can remove when you wash clothes. One pocket holds 2 drains
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Went shopping today at JCP and ourchased pjs that button in front...really cute, light weight jacket.we do t wear jackets here in South Florida..lol, and large roomy athletic pants. Also, a lightweight terry housecoat that zippers in the front. I already have the fruit of the loom open in the front bras so I think I'm ready to go. Can anyone think of anything else I need? My surgery is the 29th.
Thanks.
Lori
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Small pillows for under your arms. I got "camisoles" at Nordstrom that were made specifically for mastectomy (pockets for drains) but I ended up keeping them outside of the shirt. What I liked the most was that they were hip length and got wider towards the bottom so it was smooth around my incisions sites below my breasts. They also felt more snug which was comforting to me.
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where can I get small pillows do I have to order online?
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Lmonelli, depending on where you live, you could try looking at Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Home Goods, or department stores as well. They should have pillows of all sizes and softness.
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