Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Navy, I am sorry about your friend too. We are all cut by these losses. It doesnt matter what from, just that a piece of us is missing.
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Dearest dreamwriter,
For all the suffering of mankind and the consequences he brings upon himself, I know that Jesus wept (it says so in the Bible - with Lazarus' mourners), and I believe that angels not only whine, they weep, too, for the same reason(s).
-sessna1
P.S. You'd have to ask a child who loves you whether or not you are an angel. That's the only way you'll get an honest answer. (smile)
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KAK, dear KAK, you have inspired me! I'm going to my PCP. You know that large crepe tape they put around your arm to hold the cotton after an injection? I'm allergic to it! I got a nasty rash, and I've been suffering.
Oncos do not address misery to an adequate degree, and recall, I am famous for my onco's nurse saying (paraphrased) "Take your Protonix and shut up." Many nurses are great - FLEE from the ones that are not, ladies. Get your women's intuition tuned up and use it daily.
Also, you have to kick in the door more and more because people are becoming brain-lazy. It's a lot of stress, some fear, a bit of apathy, a lot of frustration, and a big "I'm doin' the best I can" when that isn't true - they have too much on their plates and they refuse to prioritize.
I'm going to lay it out here, and you can throw stones at me. If, I said IF you can't afford your groceries at the store, you don't need cable at home. That is only my opinion. Give up that luxury and replace it. It's only robbing you out of your valuable time anyway - and those reality shows are ramping up to turn us against each other. I'm just stunned at how crazed they are getting - Jerry Springer will have to kick it up to keep his ratings (ewwwww.)
sessna1
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Navygirl, so sorry for loss.
Yes ladies we need to whine, we need to kick down those doors. My sister now has 2 first degree relatives with cancer, my mom ovarian and me breast, and I tested +BRCA2 and her doctors still will not do genetic test, nor will they consider hyster. She has had bad paps in the past and has had her cervix byopsied a couple of times. Sounds like a no brainer to me.
A BIG THAT SUX!!!!!!!! for all who need it.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) for all!!!!
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Mary - How awful for your sister. I hate that drs are loathe to order the BRCA when they should. My BRCA has an abnormality, they just didn't know what it was. They said that if anyone else in my family GOT colon or breast cancer, they would test them to see if they also had the same abnormality. Why can't they test my DD BEFORE she gets colon or breast cancer and see if she has the abnormality? Both my mom and grandma died of colon cancer and my paternal grandmother died of breast cancer.
I got my CT scan today, after I had already spent the entire day in the ER with my husband. DH has Lyme's Disease and a UTI. I feel for him. I really do. But, I fell in the kitchen before we left. I got a CT scan today to find out why my left chest/axillary and arm area hurt. But, HE needs ME to REARRANGE the furniture in the living room so HE can sit in the comfy recliner. I have no problem letting him sit in the recliner, but, come on...I'm not supposed to move furniture on a good day....(but I did it because I love him).
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Geeze Louise! I don't get doctors who are reluctant to order these test any more than I do husbands who ask their wives to move furniture ? God Bless you Jane, I feel for him to but, I'm not sure I could have been so accomodating. I'm pretty sure I would have stuck something so far up his butt that he wouldn't have been able to sit! Might have something to do with why I'm divorced
Just popped on to check in and see how Lisa was doing..I'm glad to see a lack of activity here...hopefully that means mostly all is well.
(((HUGS))) to all of you...
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Sessna, I may just have to borrow your very articulate phrase: "Oncos do not address misery to an adequate degree." Boy, they sure don't, a lot of them, and isn't that sad? Are they so focussed on their little piece of treatment that they can't see the big picture anymore? Are they so jaded by working with cancer patients all the time that they stop having any compassion? I've been doing physical therapy for about 20 years now & the day I catch myself not having compassion for someone who just had his leg amputated or just had a stroke & can't talk right or fell & broke both bones in the ankle & now can't put any weight on their leg for 2 months or has MS or a spinal cord injury & can't walk, that is the damn day I hang up my sneakers as a clinician & do something else for a living.
Did you try over the counter hydrocortisone cream? Also benadryl or some other oral antihistimime? Lots of people are allergic to various tapes that get used. Paper tape seems okay mostly, so you could request that next time.
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Bless your heart, KAK! Use the phrase with unrestrained prejudice.
I'm with you! When I do my job, you get my best as a client/customer. Don't let it go bad the other way around... do unto others... 'nuff said!
Oh, wait. I talked with a Physician's Assistant who said that he had the misfortune of being on the patient side of the bed and it was an eye opener. HE needs to be teaching somewhere. Also, early on in my diagnosis, I sat next to a retired lady physician who said if she had known what she knows now about chemo, she would have refused it. I was blown away! Now wait - remember, every body is different. The kicker is, we are ALL human. (you have to work at being inhuman and inhumane)
Thank you for the tip!I just got some Neosporin cream at Target (our local "if you can find it on the shelf, you can buy it" store). I think it's helping - bumps (little) are receding.
Paper tape! I shouldda known to request paper. I'm also going to bring my own Band aids from now on. I hate bug bites because of the itch, and I have loathed this rash!
Boycott crepe tape! Don't let them wrap you in it! That's why mummies get up and walk around their tombs!
sessna1
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Sigh. A little more about that lady physician.
As a doctor, she was used to multitasking. With the chemo meds, it took away her ability to do that so she had to retire. It was like chemo took her career, her passion, what she enjoyed most.
I think we can relate to anything taking that away from us - it can leave you depressed. We have to move forward and be thankful for what we do have - and that is a TALL order.
Jane_M, that DH looks too big to be asking his wife to move chairs. Where are his guy friends? Falling at any age means YOU need TLC. Be careful - and canes are not evil. You can whack bad guys with 'em. People will hold open doors for you (the nice ones). Also- let me tell you why they don't order the BRCA test or why they hem and haw around it, $$$. It's expensive. Don't dwell on the fact that we are all numbers under the government, statistics, and anonymous accounts - every one of our souls is precious to the One who matters most. Are you with me so far?
-sessna1
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Anyone need a case of the willies? Saturday we we're breaking camp after our annual group camping trip and I found a baby snake under our tent. I'd say it was about ten inches long. I couldn't get it to slither away so I grabbed a towel and picked it up to share it with the kids (young adults) and take it some place other than under my tent. Didn't even cross my mind that it could be a Diamond Back Rattler. Dah. Well it didn't bite me but it did scare the sh!t out of me when they told me what I had in my hands. Damn near wet my pants. Mean while they're all telling me that the baby's are more dangerous than the big ones. The good news is I now know the difference between a Gardner snake and a rattler. I've officially used up two of my nine lives this year alone.
I big "THAT SUCKS" to all that need it.
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Jane M, amen to what Sessna said to you, too! Your husband is clearly about twice as big as you, which, if he's like most men, means he's probably twice as big a baby when he's not feeling well. But to let you move furniture for him & not stop you?? When you fell? When you're going through what you're going through yourself??? Man, I'd just shove the furniture on top of him.
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Yeah, what's with these guys?!?!?! I told my boyfriend I was bored and lonely. His response was that I could mow the lawn....and he knows that's not good for my spine mets, let alone he promised to come over and do it from time to time. Whack! (imagined slap across his head...).
Scary about the snake -- a nice nature moment to scared sh*tless!!
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Lots going on these past few days. I flew to Pittsburgh, visited Mom, age 96, in nursing home - she went to ER for torn rotator cuff, saw sister for first time since I went bald, went to the brand new casino in Pittsburgh, return flight delayed due to storm, etc, etc. 94 degrees and brother does not have AC - I stayed at his house. My sweat was sweating... LOL.
Not sure which area to emphasis, IOS (issues of suckiness) OR SOI (suckiness otherwise inverted, or GOOD things)... Been on the phone all day - ringer turned off, time for a nap. Till the next time, HUGS, Nancy
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OMG! I'd have pooped my pants with the snake!
I got the results of yesterday's CT scan. There is a 1.5 cm mass under my left arm. (right where it hurts) Radiologist recommends PET or biopsy to rule out/confirm mets or recurrence. I haven't told DH because he is going through enough crap right now. I see my onc on Friday. It also said I have degeneration in my spine.
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Renee S. - That SCARY SUXS!
I don't like spiders and snakes....
-sessna1
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Boy, that sucks Jane. Best of luck for a negative result on mets or recurrence.
A snake, I never would have touched, and I still would have peed my pants.
My bone scan came back negative.!!!!!!
have a Good Night ladies.
Nancy, unlucky for you, that was one of our warm nights. this summer has been very cool up until the past week. I live on the other side of PA.
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When we took our Girl Guides to a wilderness camp, guess who got to wear the snake? Yup, Jack the Gripper. A memorable moment. No on my todo list.
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Nice Renee! I love snakes but I'd have crapped my pants too!
I have a small rant...and it's a familiar one and it's probably not going to change anything but...why do doctors leave you messages saying you need to call them back asap to "discuss' your lab results" - Mind you..this particular doc said she'd only call if she saw something "alarming" -otherwise we'd plan to meet in a month. As I posted on my fb page..>WTF? Who does this? How would they like it if they got a message frome the fire department saying "you need to call us back ASAP so we can discuss your house"
Grrrr. So annoying. Now I need a xanex
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She must've gone to the same school as my onc who thinks it's ok to wait until Friday to discuss my 1.5 cm mass instead of just ordering the PET scan and getting it over with.
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Or my onc who made me wait until after his vacation to give me my results. Of course they were negative. That is why I have all results sent to my PCP, so I can get then whenI want them.
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Mary22 has it going on! Have that onc send copies to your PCP, and get copies from your onc office, even if you have to pay for them.
As for the "call me back ASAP," ain't that a reason to give doctors your cell phone number? By the way - I grow more and more displeased with an electronic world. I don't like it. e- this, e-that. I don't want to be bothered while I live and walk around with incoming electronic anything!
Wrangle your doctors! Brand them if you have to! I asked my doctor three questions last month and I found that she wrote in her notes, 'Patient has a lot of questions.' Excuse me? Three is a lot? Where has SHE been? Still, I'm taking my notebook AND my questions to see her every time. The day she says she doesn't have time for all my questions... I move along.
One question was about my HER2 status. My biopsy/mastectomy lab reports don't agree. That's a fine thing NOT to know. Honestly. Find out and tell me, for Peter's sake. I'm on it. You gotta fight for your right to party - and live well. We have to fight - we were given the brains to think, and not using yours is dangerous.
-sessna1
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Oh, Jane, that completely sucks out loud. I'd be crapping in my pants about that mass. Hope, hope, hope it is B9. {{{{{{{{{ Jane }}}}}}}}}
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Flying by and checking some other threads. Nothing much going on except they finally got Mom on pain management -- tylenol 3 with codeine for her torn rotator cuff. I was ready to fly BACK up to read them the riot act. She is 96 yrs old... give her a break. Hugs for all, Nancy
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Mary....THEY have my cell phone number, and my work number...I got no sleep last night...which sucks because I have a huge busy day today AND a staff meeting at 2pm...which I will probably fall asleep in now! Grrrrr. Unfortunately, my pcp isn't much better when it comes to making contact. I've decided I need to become a hacker...that way I can just go in and get my own results
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Awww, hugs Bonnie. THAT SUCKS big time. Grrrrrrrr. dang, crap,.........
I tried to go back and name those of you with Suckiness going, but my memory sucks. (((( jane and mary )))) -- hugs. ((((((( all of you )))))))) - hugs. I think it is time to have a "don't even THINK about messing with me" shirt made.
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(((((((HUGS TO ALL))))))))))
A BIG THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How about a "Don't mess with me I beat cancer you're next"
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Mary, add 1 in 7, used to be 1 in 8.
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Mary, I like that t-shirt idea!
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OMG, Traci! When I read your post, I about cried because you could have been describing my situation exactly. I was diagnosed in April with DCIS, LCIS and Ductal Carcinoma Invasive. I have since had two surgeries and am about to undergo radiation at the end of the month. My progrnosis is good and I know that I am lucky but I still feel like shit! I am so angry I could just spit! I don't understand where I am getting all of this anger from as I am no stranger to looking weird or dealing with doctors and hospitals. I was born with a birth defect called spina bifida. I have had numerous procedures, surgeries, doctors, etc. I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS! So, why am I having such a problem? If I could punch somebody without hurting them, I truly would! Don't get me wrong, I do not feel like this all the time. Things have suddenly just hit me and I feel pretty crappy. I am looking forward to being myself again minus some pieces of me.
Cecilia
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Hey Cecilia - It's OK to be ANGRY AS HELL because they are messing with the one part of you that makes you look and feel like a woman. I felt so violated after my surgery and couldn't understand why. I kept whining about the fact that 'THEY CUT MY BREAST!!!!" It's not like I didn't consent to the surgery, it's not that I didn't know thats where they were going to cut me. But it just hurt me so badly emotionally and I didn't get why either. Maybe its just all part of accepting this dx and the actual cutting. Maybe it's all the other women who say OH, You're gonna be JUST FINE.... SCREW THEM. I haven't been just fine ever since. And I want to scream.... OH Yeah??? Have they cut part of YOUR breast out???
Truly, I'm sorry it's so hard. I just know that it is really, really hard for some of us to accept. After all these years of trying to take care of my body. Eat right. Don't over-do anything. Exercise. And still, a bc dx. Never saw it coming. Like getting hit by a Mack Truck, and I'm still trying to get up.
The best thing I can tell you now, is to read all over the Radiation Thread, be prepared. The rads docs and techs are there when you are being treated, but when that's done those folks are gone. Read about the bone and joint health issues after rads. About all the side effects these good women have and are suffering from. ASK QUESTIONS!!! Make your own decision about this.
Nice to meet you. Sorry it's in here, but this is the best place ever to vent!!!
I moan and groan and go pop a darvocet.
~Connie
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