Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has the right to have something nice said about them at their funeral. Even if it's "Thank God he's finally gone!" I often wonder who/what will be said at mine....
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Thanks, Barbe, you're right.
l talked to DH at dinner and asked if he was planning on speaking and got the big eyeroll. I said, somebody besides a minister that didnt know him needs to. The siblings changed the date of a service to accommodate J's sisters men. They both hold difficult to leave jobs & rotating schedules. So l have another week to write something. I most likely will speak for him. For him & his mom.
I went for a shot in my hip, man, those hurt. It still hurts after anice pack and 2 1/2 hours.
~Connie0 -
I did it. Spoke at the memorial for brotherIL. It was a very tiny service and my speech brought tears and laughter. YAY, for me, l worked hard on it and was a bit nervous, but it ended some mixed emotions and gave everyone closure.
Thanks, Barbe, you helped me do what needed to be done!
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Connie, you done good!!
I am SO proud of you!!! You will remember that moment for the rest of your life. You did your bro justice! Way to go, sweetie!!0 -
bump. wow what a great thread!
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Oh my, its been quiet here, hope that is because life has been wonderful and uneventful for everyone. I pray it is so!!
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Connie and Barb !!! Still keeping it real!!! I haven't been here for a long time...posted a question on the gummy board...so here's a bitch...only had 4 chemo treaments and flat out quit. BUT it did leave a parting gift of neuropathy in my feet. Welllll, now its up to my hips. Neurologist says its on the move. Someone told me yesterday how fortunate I was to have survived cancer, and I shouted, WHAT, SO I COULD SIT ON THE SOFA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND DO NOTHING? They were shocked, but welcome to my reality. I will groan and tell you I was let go in October and basically quit working. NO! damnit, I don't have the $ to retire !!! Disability isn't enough to live on unless I relocate to a low hanging bridge. No, I don't have a plan~
Okkkkkkk, on the up-side, I have not had a recurrence. I lost 25 lbs of the prednisone weight, most of it thru pancreatitis, lol. And my daughter is speaking to me again
You ladies always listen and support. Hugs to you all !!
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Holy crap Ruth!!! What a shit-ride you've been on, eh??? (we really DO say eh here a lot in Canada). I was off for two YEARS for bone growth up my spine to to stenosis and not mets, but did I feel lucky? NO!!! If it had been mets they would have radiated my spine for pain relief!! Instead, I got all the way to Fentanyl patches and then got sent back to a job that didn't exist anymore!!! So since July 31st of last year I've been trying to get a stable job that my body can physically handle, but still haven't found one. So I HEAR you, sister!!! Disability was 1/2 my pay and that put us in the poor house, then my MIL died and injected a SMALL amount of cash which helped tide us over the second winter and my DH qualified for unemployment insurance for his minimum wage job finally as he is seasonal on a golf course, so that helped a bit and then I got CUT OFF!!! WTF!! I told them I hadn't driven for 6 months and was on Fentanyl which is considered impaired to drive on and they insisted they were letting me get back to work as my job (some idiot!) told them "of course she can come back" but when my department was notified they said there was no longer a position for me as they hadn't expected to see me back (I was on a cane when I left)....sigh. So you and me are pretty f&#(*ed. Who cares about house work at this point when I might not even have a house to clean soon! Where IS that bridge you're talking about...I'll meet you there....sigh.
Nice to hear from you, by the way, and so sorry to hear your shit. Life just isn't fair, is it? Have you tried Neurontin (Gabapentin) or Lyrica???? I don't have a drug plan anymore and had to quit a whole bunch of pain relief drugs and just keep the ones that keep me alive (heart meds). I even had to get a friggin' PACEMAKER for heavens sake a year and a half ago!!! This month, after years of diet changes I was confirmed to have diabetes and am on Metformin now....another drug to pay for!!!!!!!!!!!
So, great rant, but I think you can do better. Thanks for letting ME vent back, though! hehehehehehheee
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By the way, I've already HAD and LOST 3 jobs since getting a job November of last year!! I just can't physically stand, sit or walk for (as my doctor confirmed) more than 30 minutes....sigh. I NEED to lie down to relieve pressure on my spine. Now what job could a breast-less 56 year old lady get lying down???????
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OOOh...oooh Barbe, I know, I know....test pilot at a mattress factory? Have you got one anywhere near you?
Sheila.
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HAHAAHAHA, the funny thing is that last night I applied online for a mattress showroom sales person!!! Too funny Sheila!! hehehehehhe
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Mattress showroom person! that is a coincidence and very funny!
Ya', I lost my unemployment in December and am waiting for the House to vote on retroactive payments. If they do, then I'll be ok for a bit (I've learned to live on very little), but if not, uh oh.
I tried gabepentin and Lyrica...couldn't tolerate either. I am on Cymbalta. I did get a Rx for a cream with those ingredients plus a few others. I couldn't afford the $200 it cost, so the kind pharmacist asked what I could afford, and I said $50. He gave me a smaller amount for that. It does help, but not a miracle drug. I did fentanil patches and holy shit, that is strong. So my private disability insurance is being submitted that I can't work in the amount of pain I'm in, and when I take enough drugs (hydrocodone), I'm not able to work. And yeah, you shouldn't be doing anything on the F patch girl!!! That is utterly ridiculous they trying to send you back to a job that didn't exist...people really don't listen, do they? I used to take 'car naps' during lunch...was just excuse to lie down and rest my back. That stenosis hurts a lot. You simply can not have diabetes. Make it go away. Pacemaker???? omg, that is crazy.
I"m trying to figure out a life that revolves around no activity. The less I do, the better I feel. I watch way too much TV, but I am not fighting my way thru pain every single dang day and its a relief. I'm not sure this is how its supposed to be....never imagined a life of nothingness...ideas? If I was clever like you, I would write jokes and submit them to comedians. They do pay~
BTW, I got cataracts at 60 !! Easy surgery I hear and will have great eyesight! Can't see to drive presently as I"m not sure what color the light is...YIKES~ Hurry April 30th!
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Cataract surgery!! Thank God you have insurance to pay for that!! I was on every increasing amounts of narcotics and had to get an assessment at a physio place. Stupid me took 40 mgs EXTRA of morphine so I could what needed to be done. I sobbed with pain all the way through it and finally refused to kneel on the floor to do a procedure. I had to wear a monitor that made sure I was really, really TRYING to do things, but I told them if I got down on the floor I'd never get back up. They assessed me as being able to do retail!!! The VERY job I'd had!!!!!!!! That was enough for my insurance company to send me back to work.....sigh.
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One word. Obamacare.
Two words. Go to work. Do a crappy job. Get fired. (ok, that was more than 2)
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I wonder what these people would do and how they would feel if in the same position! So sorry you are having to deal with all this nonsense, and none of it of your doing..just sucks all around.
My rant is that last ct scan showed "something", confirmed on mammo and ultrasound but the docs couldn't tell what. Of course that means biopsy, blah. Love my onc who called tonight (Sunday) to let me know that biopsy showed mass was malignant....off to breast surgeon, again. I have a knot in my stomach and feel like vomiting.
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Oh crap Elaine! Prayers going out to you.....please keep us posted. Do you have a thread somewhere else?
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Thanks Barbe,All prayers are welcome and appreciated. I have an appointment w breast surgeon on Wednesday. I know there will be surgery, but don't know if another lumpectomy or mastectomy. So frightened. Know I will do whatever needs to be done, have wonderful support, but I'm scared.
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EWB, how did your appointment go? I don't know if I missed the news on another thread...
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well, a bit late, but ended up w lumpectomy in May followed by 32 zaps of radiation July - August.
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Hello Ladies, I have a question.. In Dec. I had a Stereotactic Needle Biopsy on the left side of left breast. It was benign. In the past couple of days I've noticed a slight pinching, today it is full on PINCHING just in that spot and its tender to the touch.If I try to move or carry it screams at me.
Does anyone know what's going on with this?
Thanks, Connie07
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Connie, I am just feeling sorry for you already, bcause I see that you had zero nodes out, but you already got lymhedema in your trunk, just from a lumpectomy??? That sucks. They might have hit a nerve?
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They hit my last nerve for sure. It was the rads that caused my LE. At least that's what I believe. Since there were no nodes removed and "only a lumpectomy", that seems to make more sense. I'm not a typical patient. I get unexpected side effects, allergic reactions and odd reoccurrences almost every time something medical happens. Unfortunately, Dr. KnowItAlls chuckle when I try to tell them this and then act surprised when a treatment causes hives
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Connie, have you thought of changing doctors? My first oncologist was kind of like yours. No real feedback, no discussion, attitude like "you have cancer, what do you expect?" I stuck with him for 5 years because I didn't have any real serious complications. But, when I found I had mets recently and knew I was in for long-term treatment, I asked to change doctors right away. Different doctor in the same practice that I absolutely love. I wish I had changed years ago. Don't be afraid to offend someone, it's your life
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Sarah, thanks! Changing doctors is definitely part of the plan!
I was forced to change PCPs when mine went private and his dues are $1,500./yr. then I had to choose a different OB/GYN after 18 yrs. which sucked and after fighting with Ins. I finally got him back this year!! There are only two CA centers here, and I have not returned to BS since she ignored my LE symptoms. And I haven't gone back to the Rad Onc since when I called him about possible LE he never called back. But I have had regular mammograms, blood panels and dexa scans.
The PinchBurning Breast pain seems to be nerve pain from some damage in the Dec. needle biopsy. Interesting how nerves will grow back together or re-route themselves but lymph vessels don't.
~C
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Haven't been here for ages....how is Connie?????
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I ' m. B. A. C. K Wow! What a ride. But I'm still vertical, as an old friend said! Just mostly typical family incidents and accidents and babies and moves, choices and deaths.
I have 4 grands now! Three girls, new happy baby boy ! He is so glad to be here, so strong... Well, I'll add a pic. Precious beings, all. I sure miss not seeing them everyday anymore. There's a balance of life in the responsibilities of raising babies and I miss them too.
Mom died. About a month ago. It was awful. She was mean and bitter to me to the end. Oh, and now from beyond. Her will is the stuff of Southern novels and I wouldn't be surprised if I write it. Please don't ask for previews yet. "I'm afraid I might faint".
Anybody still here? Saw Barb1958 wish I could tag y'all.
Connie
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My Dad was cruel to the end , too. Sad, eh???? I have 5.5 grands with second girl due in January. I don't see them much but love them all to bits! Good to see you, can't wait to see who else shows up.
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Hey Barbe, congrats to you on your prolific children. I pray they are all great parents too! I know those babies are loved. Went to babysit two of mine today, it's such a blessing to just get to love those adorable little faces!
Have you learned any reasons for your abusing parents behavior? Does it matter anymore? I just keep asking, Why? Even though she's gone now, only 2 months ago. I honestly just don't get it. She blamed me for all the wrongs in her life!!?! Oh well. I couldn't make it right then and it shore ain't gettin fixed now.
As those of us on the east coastal USA prepare for Hurricane Matthew, I'm sitting outside and the sky looks eerie but there's enough breeze to ring the wind chimes and make me feel chilly. Almost 10:30 p.m. And the effects won't be here in Savannah for about 42 hours. Our barrier islands are evacuating.most of Florida and all the coastal counties in South Carolina have been moving away from the coast. It's all very scary.
I was 10 when my First significant Hurricane, Grace, came thru. In my 20's, married when the biggest one, David, hit here. Evacuated for Floyd in 1989. Nightmare. Many people from here were scarred by that mandatory evacuation and refuse to leave if we know how to take care of ourselves. We've learned too from past storms. My house is high but my neighborhood isn't, so I won't be getting out much during a flooding rain. And nobody will be getting in. I'm OK with that. I've seen the rain water top a 4ft. Fence 100 ft from my door. We were fine.
Anyway, lots of less significant hurricanes. Generally in my town, we hurricane party. But not so much these huge storms. They cause the hair on your arms to rise. People have nervous energy for days before. My sister wrote me a couple hours ago and said she had baked a cherry Pie!!! She NEVER bakes!! And PIE??? We had a minor hurricane come thru about three weeks ago and she heard a tree crack and fall.. it was a BIG tree, fell into her back yard. Kinda freaked her out, I think.
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Connie I think our parents were cruel to us because we reacted. Cried or whatever. If we hadn't reacted it wouldn't have been as fun for them. There was probably some transference going on as well and maybe we were their younger selves and they were angry with them. Who knows.
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