Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Thank you all for your support, I needed that. Happy Easter Everyone. I'm gonna spend it with the grandbabies. This is one of the rare occasions where we all get together. Have fun all.
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Happy Easter everybody.
It's cloudy and gloomy in Dallas so far today. Matches with my mood. A girl that my sister goes to church with was diagnosed last week. She didn't have insurance, so she had been putting off going to the doctor. Her cancer is too far gone - it's everywhere. They are giving her chemo, just to extend her life. They said without it, she's only got 6 months. With it, 12 to 18.
WTF is wrong with me?
It's been three years and two weeks since I got my boobs cut off. Why can't I get out of this funk? It's like I'm still bitchy, I'm still moaning and I'm still groaning. Why can't I 'get over it'? I know it has something to do with my reconstruction sucking a**, but that's not all of it. I just can't get up and go.I've been lying to my sister about having other things to do, so I don't have to do something with her. WTF? She's always going, going, going. My favorite thing to do is sit on the couch and watch TV.Not having any money has something to do with it as well, I'm sure. But that is a whole other bitch together.
Maybe, just maybe, something is starting to happen. For the first time since....I met a man that I was attracted to. It was last Monday at a networking meeting. I was so attracted to him, that I actually asked him to sit next to me, which he did. We've been 'texting' since. (Doesn't anyone talk anymore?) He asked me to send him a pic, and I directed him to my Facebook page, knowing that he would discover that I had cancer, from the pics and stuff. I figured, he could find out that way, and if he didn't call (or text) me back, than that would be that. Amazingly, he did. I wonder what will happen next. I wonder if I'll shy (lie) my way out of it. The thought of being intimate with anyone still scares the sh*t out of me.
I just asked him if he'd like to have lunch. We'll see what happens. I'll probably blow this off too. If he says yes. Especially if I can't find a decent shirt to cover this GUT that used to be my stomach. Oh and, my OAOA is still hounding me. :-/ And I'm still avoiding that like the plague.
I wish I had kids and grand-babies to occupy my time. I wish I was home in Florida so I could play with all the babies my neices and nephews are having. I wish, I wish, I wish. Somebody needs to kick me in the ass so I'd quit wishing and make something happen.
Bitch complete.
Hugs everybody; good luck with your surgery Leisa, good luck with your DD Connie, Hi San Diego Lisa!!! ((((hugs)))) I can't remember what ws on previous pages, and was too lazy to get a pen.
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{{{Traci}}}
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You have a right to complain. Now you have to fix it. Good start with the dating thing.
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Good luch Traci
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Good luck Traci......and Thanks
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Traci I know what you mean, my daughter told me today that when she was a kid I was strong willed and where is the person I used to be....I can't get out of it either, everyone is being so positive and I can't find a postive thing about any of it.....yea I am alive......living with cancer, each and every day knowing it in my body and I can't get it out and playing the waiting game....you are so not alone, remember than...
Sandy
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Short lived. The end. No lunch. No call. Imagine that.
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Sigh.....Sorry about that Traci. He's a poophead.
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Traci ... I second what Eliabeth said - I love that name - poophead. (((((HUGS))))) I was so excited about your news - I was going to live vicariously through you.
Elizabeth ,,, how was your trip? If you posted it on another thread, let me know and I will go there to see how it went.
Sandi ... (((((HUGS))))) Cancer has a way of sucking the air right out of your sails. And I say you are still the strong willed woman you always were!!!!!
Connie ... I hear ya! Everyone is so gung-ho to help until they have to actually do it! Glad you did find some help through DH's business partner. Don't forget to take some time for you.
I hope everyone had a glorious Easter. Much love to all you warriors.
I am trying to have a more productive and positive life. After a lifetime of criticism, smart-a$$ remarks its not so easy. I have to stop and think about what I am about to say - imagine that!
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Dear Ladies:
I am behind in my reading. I had another tour through the ER, five days long. I had a Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot in lungs), now have Deep Veint Thrombosis (blood clot in leg) to go with it.
They put a "filter" into my inferior vena cava to prevent clots from reaching my lungs. They went in through my jugular vein to do it. I was awake during the entire procedure, and they numbed my neck area. Do not try this at home with friends.
I did not abandon my post, I had to report to sick bay. I will read our posts here when I feel a little better in the next couple of days. Prayers for sessna1, please. All prayers ARE working. I am grateful.
sessna1
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Sessna1 - My goodness! I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Are you ok now? Mighty prayers going up for mighty Sessna!
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Holy crap Sessna, how did you do that!!
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Sessna...I'm so glad you got those filters in, I don't envy how you went about it but I'm glad you did! geeze, you sure know how to do it girl!!
Traci..I wish I could drop by with a six pack and a large pizza, give you a big fat hug then pop a top and find stupid shit to laugh about. Like having to explain to my pcp that even though I haven't lost all the weight I gained, I have to work hard counting calories to NOT GAIN at this point! Or, flipping a coin to see which is more important, getting some swollen lymph nodes checked out or getting my ankle fixed. Or wondering why the frick we are having to put the ac on in April???? Gawd, forget raining men; it's a shitstorm brewing and we're in the middle of it!!
Speaking of sh*t...screw that poophead if he doesn't call. Men are suck chickenshits. At the risk of sounding like a separatist, I have no use for the ones who can't deal with real life (like that a-hole Jesse James/John Edwards or Tiger Woods...how many examples do we have anyway?)
Ahhh. clearly I need a wine cooler...this is what chemo has reduced me too, I now consider having a wine cooler "hitting the bottle" --- good God, I'm no longer deserving of my screen name -even if I can curse with the best of them...
(((HUGS))) everyone...sorry for the rant, Traci made me do it
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OMG THAT SUCKS... SUCKSSSSSSSSSSS...
LISTEN TO THIS... DD cleared out of the rental, and on Friday, on the way to the landlord to return the keys, . stopped by the house to pick up some pet meds she left in a cabinet... was confronted in the bedroom (where we just moved the furniture out of) by an asian woman!!!!! Who said it was HER HOUSE!!! Called the cops and MY DD was arrested at gunpoint for criminal trespass. THATS What happened on Good Friday. OMG... We spent the entire day getting her released, not to mention the bail and gate fees...Too exhausted from moving and this to enjoy Sunday. And it was my birthday too. We went to Chili's... whooo hoo.
Connie
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Hey, I didn't mean to diss anybody else's suckiness. Ya'll can dish it out.. So sorry for Easter Suckage For All..
Traci - Hey girl, glad to see you back. So SUX about that man. Clearly, he was too shallow to get to be with you. The right guy is out there, keep looking. Hey, since you moved to Texas things don't seem to be much less sucky for you. why not look into a transfer to where your cousins and their kids are, or at least to where you are closer to them? You know all the 'moves' about moving and transfering... check it out. OK?
Elizabeth - you never fail to make me laugh out loud.
Kathleen - What do you mean? You are not smartass or cynical, at least, I don't find you that way at all. I do, however, relate to the thinking before I speak lessons. I've had a foot-in-mouth problem for way, way too long.
OMG Sessna, that surgery sounds hideous and yet you add your wit and humor. I feel your pain as if you were my sister. Please take care of you.
Jane, my prayers are added to yours.
Hey Navygirl, Have another one one me! I'll take a miller lite draught, or in the bottle if I Have To.
enjoy, my battery is dying, hahahahah at least that's all that's dying around here tonight!
~Connie
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Holy shit! What a lot of CRAP!!! Arrested in a house she just left???? Why would the police even process it???? What about the landlord backing her up??? What a friggin' waste of MONEY!!!!
Navy, how did that job/resume/manipulation thingy go? Did you get a promo????
Lots of shits and giggles here lately....sigh.
Oh, speaking of shits, my colonoscopy went well today! They also did a gastroscopy as I had stomach surgery when I was born and they're always interested to see what it looks like after so many years...52 now...sigh.
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sucky sucky sucky. My gosh. All this suckage has me speechless (for a change).
I am also bitchy, I moan, and I groan ... for no particular reason. I know it's not PMS, although that's exactly what it feels like. And, rats -- it's my turn to fix supper.
So I just thought I'd drop in here and commiserate with like-minded women. Hugs to all, whether you need one or not...
otter
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OH MY...Barbe, too funny on the pun!
Connie...I can't believe that! WTH is wrong with people - the lady and the police in this case!
Otter, glad to have you drop by but I wish you weren't getting the pseudo PMS, I know how that sucks! It's just so wrong to get it once your past that, isn't it?
Ahh, it's that time of the year again...allergies, allergies, allergies...fortunately it's supposed to cool off again after tomorrow so hopefully we'll get some relief.
Hugs to all you ladies, I hope the week ends well for all of us
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BTW...no, I didn't get into the program. I got notified on Friday...but I'll try again next year!
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What pun?
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No kidding, get this..The landlord lady verbally attacked her when she went to return the keys as planned... DD was SHOCKED beyond reason....we found out that HE went to the landlord on the 26th and must have snowed her with his deceiving charm, signed a new lease without his wife's name and the landlord is the one that changed the lock!!!!!! Can you believe that?? I am so upset. The WOMAN that was in the house, apparently is HIS. She said She lives there and the only reason DD went inside was to see who he was with. DD left, with her pet meds, the Woman called the cops and before DD left the neighborhood, they surrounded her car and that happened away from the house.. So, the people at the house don't know what happened... Cause he wasn't there and woman must be snowed as well. Almost seems like the landlord and the Woman might be in it together somehow. We don't know who she is yet, but we know he is living there. ... My DD was NOT evicted and thats what Woman said to the police. it was all just so awful and disturbing. DD is talking to attorneys and my dh, her daddy, went to the first one who didn't listen to anything. We have another one on Friday.
I keep remembering someone in here telling me not to bring it home with me, and I did. but only because something awful was going on with my daughter and we couldn't find alternative, safe, arrangements for her and the baby.
I've been so sick about all this. I wondered what was going on with him and this explains everything, the late nights, the unexplained expenses, the drugs. It seemed to start the moment she got pregnant. and every day, every week got worse and worse. the lies, the knowing and not knowing what to do. We finally took the action we needed to, to protect them both.
I never,, not in a million years could I have imagined that this would come to my family. Especially via this young man whom we trusted and treated like one of our own. We are so peaceful and non confrontational. But not now, not with the things he has done, and stolen and taken advantage of everyone and every opportunity. NO MORE. As soon as we can, Dh and I are going to the courthouse and file a peace bond to keep him away from all of us. So DD can think and decide what to do about all this. She's fighting mad and rightly so.
Ladies, please add my DD, we will call her Chipee, add Chipee to your prayers for strength and courage. She already has the gift of laughter and no matter what gets thrown at her during the day, she finds a way to laugh and smile.
Guess thats why Im in the deep end with her. Thru thick and thin, he will not win. As long as there is strength in this body, I will support her and he will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Wish we had a lawyer in the family.
Hey - thanks for listening. I needed to vent tonight.
~Connie
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well vent away anytime, Connie,
Traci sorry,
Barb glad the colosopy went well,
Sess.....omg so sorry hope it is ok now!!!
Navy that is so disappointing, sorry!!
Sandy
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Dear Jane_M - Thank you for the prayers. "Mighty sessna1?" You honor me too highly.
barbe1958 - ‘How did I do' what, please? Drive myself to the ER May 2009, August 2009, and March 2010 and get admitted each time? How did I do what, please? I don't understand your question. I'm only alive because there is a God, please atheistic people, think about it.
By the way, an ambulance arrival will NOT get you into the ER and triaged any faster. Even if I had come in on a stretcher, I would have had to have taken my embolisms and waited my turn. I think I need drive-through drop-off service...
navygirl - Yes, when I mess up my health, I do it with style. Pnuemonitis, Pulmonary Embolism (PE), and Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), with the PE was diagnosed before the DVT. It should be the other way around. I'm such a show off...
Connie07 - I think you outclassed me. I am so sorry for your family distress. Wow. Wow.
You are right, once you've been awake, numbed, and have had someone put a device into your groin area via your Jugular Vein, yeah - I'll say - I'm just surgically incision'd all over. Oh! They used no staples or sutures for the incision. Just taped me up.
otter-Without the ladies of the boards, where would I be now? Mind you, I am a real person. I could not make this stuff up. Bizarre my life is. I have to invest in a medic alert bracelet now that they want my INR between 2.5 and 3.5 (standard for people with a heart valve) to prevent more blood clots. The EMTs will call for information and say, "You're kidding. No, she's still breathing at this time. I don't know how, though."
blondiex46 - They will not sell me a long term parking pass till I'm 55 years of age at the local medical center. Like I'm gonna live that long. (Yes I am! I intend to. Take that life, I challenge you to continue!
)Thank you for the continued prayers, ladies. Positive meditations welcomed.
sessna1
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Sessna1,
My DH has had five stents at different times all place in his heart through his groin while he was awake and watching the whole process on TV. They used a special clear tape each time to close the incision. Just be careful to watch for swelling or excessive bruising. Of course, don't lift anything heavier than 5-10 pounds until cleared by your doctor.
Best wishes for a less interesting life. You could use some routine boredom right now.
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Sessna1 - The first time I read your last post I thought you welcomed positive MEDICATIONS.
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Sessna, I meant how did they find it all???? Also, what is INR?
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barbe1958,
INR - http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Coumadin
How to find a blood clot? Cancer and cancer treatment can cause DVT or PE (blood clots).
Symptoms: Swollen, tight, warm legs or arms.
Perform ultrasound on legs.Vena Cava Filter -
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&gbv=2&tbs=isch%3A1&sa=1&q=vena+cava+filter&aq=4&aqi=g3g-s1g6&aql=&oq=vena+&gs_rfai=&start=0Looks freaky, the filter does. Like a silver daddy long legs spider with different lengths of squid legs.
sessna1
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Well I know what Coumadin is....where does the INR come in?
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barbe, I knew it had something to do with blood clotting but thanks to Dr. Google I found this: One of the blood clotting tests is the International Normalization Ratio (INR) testing the clotting time of the blood.
Sheila
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