Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Resume reading ...April 4, 2010
Traci -----T... {{HUGS}}
Nothing is wrong with you, unless being human is wrong. You are going through most of this alone, no matter who is your best friend, support group, or great medical team. The one who gets stuck, prodded, and cut upon is you. The one who feels and heals physically is YOU.
We would like our lives to be more like they used to be, and coming into a new way of living is something to fight against. Heck, everything since that diagnoses has been a struggle or fight, hasn't it? If you're not fighting the cancer, you are battling it off -
With rotten medicines that makes your head itch, hair fall out, you end up in the bathroom a lot and poop smells funny, and panti liners have to replaced more often - or the cotton panties because your body is expelling this stuff - and it SUX like living in a van, down by the river. (A nod to Saturday Night Live, Chris Farley.)
You are a cool lady to flirt with a guy. You got more chutzpah than me on a good day. You keep that moxie up, that's your fighter in you that clutches the joy stick of life while you make your flight schedules on time. He was the wrong guy for you to get to know. His loss. Raspberries to him.
I think that most people immediately think, "Oh, this person will pass away soon like that movie of the week I saw in 1985..." The average person doesn't get it, doesn't learn enough about the ins and outs of treatment and diagnoses to "get" it.
Please have some love and respect for your body that is weathering the treatment with you. It's your partner in life - body, mind, spirit, soul, heart. I'm sure that if my body could have left me it would have been gone two years ago... "You are going to let them do what? Oh, no. I've got enough to do to age you gracefully. Procedure? What procedure?! OUCH. That hurt. You're just fortunate that I know you like I do, or I'd take a large piece of our mind and move in elsewhere. Show me some respect. We're in this together."
blondiex46 - oh, I beat ‘em to that line. I'm the first to tell you that I'm not the same as I used to be. I have to sit down, be still, figure out what isn't feeling right, decide to take a nap, medicate it, elevate it, or monitor it for further developments. Yes, I've very different. I willingly take poisonous medicines to prolong my life by killing bad and good cells. and it SUX like living in a van, down by the river. (A nod to Saturday Night Live, Christ Farley.)
navygirl, I have never smoked at all, and an interventional radiologist gives me a filter... (oncology/blood clot patient humor - smile, please.)
PMS - wa ha ha ha ha ha! I'm past PMS, I'm Alice in MenopauseLand. You wish that chocolate could help me now... wait... what kind of chocolate?
notself - Thank you. I'm healing well. Your husband is mench's mench, a man's man. Wow. He watched the process on the monitor. If I had seen that scalpel go into my neck I would have been on self-anesthesia so fast...
You go, GramE! Once you got a drill and a set of drill bits, you've been initiated. Have protective eye goggles ready for use. Measure twice, cut once. When in doubt, take a break and sketch out your plan of action. Don't do anything dangerous alone. Both Bob Villa and Tim the Toolman had assistants...
konakat - thank you! This Paclitaxol better be doing something with the way it makes me feel. Gyppy tummy. Muscle aches, still. I went back to TCH head itch central, and now the hair is coming out in my comb again. I applied some Hydrogen Peroxide to a hand towel and rubbed my scalp in a test spot. It felt warm and good. I'm going to try that as experimental itch treatment, or I may end up hurting a civilian... having my head itch drives me nuts! and it SUX like living in a van, down by the river. (A nod to Saturday Night Live, Christ Farley.)
BooBee - There is some wisdom in Cartman's attitude, "I'm not fat, I'm big boned." We're not fat, we're cancer compromised and doing our best. Back off, people. Back off, bring me something nutritious to eat, and don't come back without it. A balloon with rubber bands around it... BooBee, even my imagination isn't up to that task... Bless your heart.
April 15, 2010 resume reading page 336
Hugs to all. {{Real strong hugs to all.}}
sessna1
P.S. Prequel, April 20, 2010 - Jane_M, may I come toilet paper your husband? He'll never know why...
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oh honey, i am sorry . having done this more times than i care to admit; i'll just tell u my "take" on it. when we have our pets they depend on us 4 everything. and if wer'e good parents, they grow to love us, and give us that love and trust back.the most loving thing that we can d, ois not let them suffer, and make the end peaceful for them. everyone, and unfortunately too many ; had me holding them and loving them while they slept.i only hope when i come 2 mydemise it will be as peaceful.sorry sorry. 3jaysmom
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Thanks for your kind words ladies, I do appreciate them.
Well, today was a tad better, with some major jags but did find that a bit of reverse psychology worked well too. After a few crying jags laced with hugs and a few of my own tears (for the cat and my daughter) followed by some discussion about animals, pain and life etc., I told her that it was good to cry and the more she cried the better she will feel.
So now, about five hours later, she hasn't cried for hours. I seem to have forgotten all that hard earned child psychology I learned many years ago. We are now talking about getting two new kittens in the future, when we are ready for double the fun that one brought us many years ago. Talking about the fun brought a few smiles so I think she is starting to accept this change in our daily lives.
One thing she said, while upset, was that she had now lost her last best friend. It wasn't something that had crossed my mind, but it was quite true in many ways. Beside me, there is no-one who she can relate to as most folk see her face and automatically class her as stupid, which she isn't, just slow in her thinking.
We are looking into independant living for her but she will need someone to watch out for her at some level too. She can't seem to find a way of saying 'no' to anyone in case they don't like her.
A few years ago, she went to stay for a few days with a female acquaintance she met through a kids with cancer organisation, and when she came home her bank account had been stripped of $2000.
It was a lesson she probably needed to learn, but that was the end of her last friendship.
Sheila.
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AussieSheila,
Give my best wishes to your daughter. I hope she finds a friend like herself.
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wanted 2 tell u girls how much i love this thread! seena, i don't know where uhave been, or how i've missed u on these sites, but i think u have an awesome sense of humor! thanks, stick around, we all need it! ok , so i don't really know WHAT to bitch, cry, or moan about tonite.. just having one of those days. am really angry bout trying to find a hormone drug 4 me..i've been thru enough already in this last yr. now u want to have me willingly take a drug that's making cry, or yell, or screamyell at any moment of any day..and then,my kids tell me to stop being a drama queen..And, as much as i hate them, i hope this last one will work without giving me another stroke; or is that something else i'm go0ing to have 2 face and deal with 2 on this ride thru cancerland..know what?it ALLLSUX! thanks fer listening...3jaysmom
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Hi all...just dropped in to say "THAT SUX" and let you know I'm home...the dr. underestimated how much pain I'd be in once I was sent home on Friday so yesterday was a crappy, crappy day. My girl finally got me hooked up with the doc who had to do some creative writing to get me something I could take but also counteract the se's from as am allergic to all but darvocet and morphine. I think we have the magic formula now and I'm just taking it easy. I go in tomorrow to get the dressings off and the cast on...it should be interesting to get my first look at it
I hope all are doing well...sorry I can't stay long...not much umph yet.
(((HUGS))))
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I haven't been keeping up so a big SUX as required. Why is it the more time I have on my hands the less time I have to do anything???
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Bonnie - so glad you are home ~ and now comfortable. Well, as comfortable as you can be, considering you just got your ankle chopped up!
Heal up!
Lisa
ps - Elizabeth, me too!
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Glad you got some good meds, Bonnie. Speedy healing. Hugs and THAT SUCKS as needed.
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Hey peeps.....So the good news.....DD's boyfriend has been drafted by the Ravens. (Maryland) Now for the bad news... DD's boyfriend has been drafted by the Ravens. Their baby is due in September so my first grand-baby will be all the way across the country.
Unfortunately, business sucks and we don't have the money to fly back and forth too many times.
One more thing.....I'm still fat.
A big hearty THAT SUX to all.
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As a Canadian, when I hear "drafted" I think of other things...could have been worse.
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A big THAT SUX to all of you; Boo I'm happy to hear of the draft, but I'm sorry that it could potentially make your first grandbaby so inaccessible. We always just assume by the time they come along that the grand babies will be available to us as much as we want them to be, right?
GramE - I'm sorry I missed the luncheon. I hope I can make the next one or we can get together for lunch before that. I'm hoping once the staples are out I can start driving myself so we could do lunch. I know in the fog of my brain are the details of your move...I just don't remember if everything you ran up against was resolved? Are you enjoying your new place?
Lisa ~ a perfect description for it...even though I knew what was entailed, I was shocked at the view when they removed the bandages. It is amazing what the body can endure. **yuck**
As for me, you know it's not good when you have no idea what day of the week it is, let alone what day of the month it is. Recovery has been up and down; for some odd reason I am getting blisters on the casted leg, and it's feels like acid is running through my veins when I first stand up and all the blood rushes down. It was showing signs of infection when I went on Monday to have the dressing taken off and the cast put on, so I'm on two heavy doses of antibiotics. I'm sure that whatever was going on with the infection part is covered, but the blisters are a curiosity. I had several at the change, and I've developed at least one more since then so I don't know what's up with that? I put a call into the doc to advise, just in case it matters in any way.
I think today I am going to attempt to venture out into the real world. Some fresh air and sunshine will do me more good than anything the doc can provide
(((HUGS)))) to all....I hope things go well for all
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Navygirl -- what a hard time you're having. I wonder if the blisters are caused by an allergic reaction to what you leg is casted in. Fresh air will do you good, getting this cleared up better. {{{{{Navygirl}}}}}
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I'm a firm believer in fresh air and sunshine: look where I choose to live.
Bonnie, I don't like the sounds of that blistering. I'm glad you called your MD!
xxxooo
Lisa
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konakat- Paclataxel, er, the Taxanes sisters have ridden into town and kicked my butt all the way across Main Street when the crossing signal clearly said "WAIT."
If there is any way one cocktail could make another look "good," Taxotere, Carboplatin, and Herceptin (TCH) - my first round, looks better now.
Tingly scalp is one thing, but itchy scalp is a pain. This stuff has also taken my hair out faster than cocktail one (TCH), but to be fair, my hair was hardier then. (Hardy? hardy har har. sigh) A friend advised me to cut open flax seed oil capsules and squirt the oil on my scalp. It helps a lot, but also leaves my head in need of a few tomatoes, croutons, scarf, and a towel on my pillow at night.
I also spend enough time in the bathroom to dream of redecorating schemes and contemplate changing toilet paper brands after all these years to something less fuzz producing.
I am aware that I am poisoning the sewer system by expelling my leftover and unused chemicals. Why didn't someone cover this topic years ago? No alligators could live in the sewers, they'd all be cancer treated and in non-living status. What a croc of an urban legend... and I'm sorry, I couldn't resist because I do feel quite miserable and one of our posters lost a beloved family pet member and I'm out of the loop because my blood clot (DVT) foot is still making like a blimp for hire.
I have had to type out my medicines on an Excel sheet to juggle re-ordering the eight of them. Go ahead, ladies, someone out there tell me that you have 12 or something. I know I should just swallow, inject, and smile.
Is this a down and out in Beverly Hills sessna1 post? Is our frequent flier to the ER disappointed with the premiums and discounts offered on the program? Isn't a lousy t-shirt enough? Has the chemo bar run out of peanuts and appetizers? And what about Victor? (There's always a soap opera character named Victor on one of those shows, Victor, Rex, John, Jesse... yeah, those are some of the popular ones.)
Prayers and meditations for healing are still welcome. Do not send medications, I have enough at this time, and thank you for thinking about sharing. I'm three steps away from crunching Vicodin with Dr. Gregory House (of the TV show "House.") If he offered me some of his stash in his usual manner (in character), his hand would be void of everything but four fingers and one thumb the next time he looked at it. Even one of his palm's lines would be gone... Don't touch that dial. As Jennifer Holiday sang so well in Dreamgirls, "(and I Am Telling You) I'm Not Going."
sessna1
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Just got all caught up, but didn't take notes and to give credit where credit is due: our dear friend Patrice, "can't remember Jack".
Sessna, thanks for your kind words."I know I should just swallow, inject, and smile." LOL!!!!!!!!!!(3jaysmom...there are some f-u-n-n-y girls on this thread!!!!!!!)
The guy turned out to be a real jerk and I deleted his ass.
(((Bonnie))) (((Lisa))) (((Everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)))
BooBee: "I'm still fat." LOL! So feel you on that one girl!!!!!!!!!!!
My OAOA is on my couch right now. He's been here since last Thursday and has been a real gentlemen. Maybe one day I will want sex again. Who knows. He's leaving tomorrow. Will miss him but will be very happy to have my solitude back.
Hugs, Traci
(((Sheila)))
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sessna1 was right, u girls r a hoot/ been pretty misertable 2 day. big fight with head of maint. with the condo board here the roof leaked sun. for the 4th time, yey rthey won't approve me getting somone else! im reallt ticked. guy was really insulting. we had a big fight over mold, if u can believe! he trying to tell me the black stuff on the concrete wall, and on the cedar wofod isn't mold, cause mold only goes to drywall. i was hysterical after he left i'm so angry at these hormone drugs!!!they have turned me into the weeping woman i always hated,i sure have more sympathy 4 them now..off to the dentist for oral surgery, thank u chemo, home to sleep off the novacaine,whip off an email 2 this guys boss, with the homepage of cdc; which mentions wood, and concrete, and o yeah, how ple with comprimised immune systems really can die from it. i can;t wait for the email i get 2morrow. i demanded a "meet" w him 2morrow2.ill letcha know.. have 2 tell u sessna1; i love how ur mind works. goodniye ladies,im so glad i dropped in b4 my pain pill..i will sleep laughing at our comraderie; if u don't laugh, u cry, right? and it's way overrateed(crying ) if u ask me!!lol light and love ,3jaysmom oh yeah a BIG this SUX!!!!
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Sessna -- you are a gift to us -- your posts are great! I love how and what your write. But what a horrible time you're having. {{{{{Sessna}}}}}
3jaysmon -- let us know how it goes -- the guy should be shaking in his boots -- go get 'em!!!
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Sessna - I have 12; 13 if you count the 4 Excedrin I take the minute I get up in the morning just to start the day! I have them in a notepad document on my cell phone b/c I can't remember them all. This way I have them to refer to every time I go to the dr and have to write down that list.
SOI - I am leaving in 75 hours for the 4th annual Breast Cancer Survivor's Cruise sponsored by Amoena. I will be rooming with 2 ladies I met on the Chemo Sept 08 thread. But, it doesn't seem like I'll be rooming with strangers; it seems like I am rooming with long lost sisters.
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Hey Ladies,
I've been fighting a typical UTI since 4/9. 5 days of Amoxicillin only pissed it off. Recheck showed up positive, and I started Septra. Culture came back showing E-Coli ! ! ! and it is resistant to most antibiotics. Septra won't work. Macrobid prescribed. I took one after dinner, later, couldn't sleep until after I puked at 3 am. Took a second one after breakfast yesterday and at 6:30 I started breaking out in HIVES. It hurts, stings, itches like MAD. Afraid of swelling in my throat, I went to the ER. All they did was give me Benedryl and Zantac and instructions to call my PCP. I did. She wants me to continue the Macrobid and I took 2 today... RASHED OUT again. Allllll over my body.
Nurse said I have to take it. Only other choice would be a set of injections or IV. In other words if I can't take it due to this allergic reaction, I'll likely be in the hospital.
Seems like my cup overfloweth with issues and drama and I'm breaking out with the most annoying, stinging, swelling, burning, ITCHY and hateful rash and can I PLEASE get a break?
I'm taking 2 benedryl every 4 hours, dramamine for the nausea and my pain stuff. They cancelled my hip injections set for Monday that I've waited for since January. DAMN. I'll never be able to go to the beach w the girls - we have a condo in Myrtle beach, SC and our week starts in a week from TODAY. I bet I'm not supposed to be exposed to the sun either. DOUBLE DAMN, I could really use a girls beach week.
Mostly I need anti histamines and any home remedies for HIVES!!!.. Could this be the battle in my body? The Macro bid doing it's job and causing the infection to scatter body wide like it's looking for an easy way out??? Or am I just alleric to Macrobid? Im having a hard time understanding why they say continue to take it when they KNOW I'm having a allergic response, OH.....
THIS SUCKS.
i STARTED TO FEEL LIKE i NEED TO GET MY AFFAIRS IN ORDER IN THE EVENT I DONT RECOVER. AND THAT SUX.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE!
~Connie
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oh connie, i'm so sorry ur having such a hard time ! aBIG THIS SUX is in order.. try aveeno for the rash, and good ole' calamine lotion.. pretty in pink girl. i hope after all this, you'll kick that infection to bits. i will be prayin.. light and love 3jaysmom
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oh connie, i'm so sorry ur having such a hard time ! aBIG THIS SUX is in order.. try aveeno for the rash, and good ole' calamine lotion.. pretty in pink girl. i hope after all this, you'll kick that infection to bits. i will be prayin.. light and love 3jaysmom
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Droppin in to say hi. Am so tired these days I dont go to a lot of forums. Miss you guys... well not the ones that cross over. Am beginning to worry about the sleep part. I need something to get me excited about getting out of bed.
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Hey dream! You might have to change your name!....lol
Connie, why do you have to skip your hip injection? And why did it take since January? I thought you guys got things done quickly down there...hmmmm?
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Try Caladryl Clear Anti-Itch lotion. One year I got poison ivy and this stopped the itch in seconds. It is a mild anti-inflammatory and topical analgesic. Try it on a small area first to make sure that you aren't allergic to the stuff. That would be nasty.
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Sessna: Check out "Charmin Ultra Strong". Not a trace left behind. http://www.charmin.com/en_US/toilet-paper-ultra-strong.php
Connie: I would go with the in-hospital, i.v. antibiotics, if I were you. Like you, I don't understand why they're saying you should continue to take the Macrobid even though you are (apparently) allergic to it. What you've described almost has to be an allergic reaction, and it sounds like a severe one. I developed hives one time when my PCP put me on Bactrim for a UTI. He totally freaked out when I called about it. He gave me a steroid shot and told me to NEVER take a drug from that class of antibiotics again. He admits now that he might have overreacted a little, but he had seen a case of "Stevens-Johnson Syndrome" not long before he prescribed the Bactrim for me, and he was still having nightmares about the experience. Allergic reactions and hypersensitivity to antibiotics should not be taken lightly.
That's the end of today's lecture.
I am watching with dread as BP's oil slick slides northward toward our coastline. Those sugar-white beaches -- and all the critters on or near them -- are about to get coated with light sweet crude. And nothing anyone is doing or has done is making any difference.
Oh, and then there are those lines of tornadoes and heavy thunderstorms northwest of us, in Arkansas and Tennessee... <sigh>
To everyone who needs it (and those who aren't yet aware that they will): That SUX!!!
otter
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Connie -
We have an Infectious Disease Center here in Tampa - you go in there daily and have IV antibiotics or they give you a pump and you go there and have it refilled daily.
I spent 3 days in the hospital with a staph infection on IV antibiotics, and finally got out and went to the center for one IV antibiotic (thru my port) daily. I had also been there in December and had to have the pump at that point - it gave me a dose of antibiotics every 8 hours (also thru my port) and I had the bag changed daily (a 10 minute process).
Check out if you have anything like that in your area - you shouldn't have to have so many side effects.
Good luck -
Lynn from Tampa
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Wow THANKS SO MUCH for all the suggestions.I'll find out more when I see the Urologist. Isure do seem to have a lot of drama where absoutely none was intended.
will update.
~Connie
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OMG ! Does this happen to other people? I've a history of UTI or Ear Infections. Now, I've been checking positive for UTI every time, for about 6 weeks, resistant to all the antibiotics by mouth and they are talking about injectables. I thought they meant a shot. ?HAHAHAHAHAHA... I'm so innocent about these things.
Here's my dilemma, I've got a beach invite for a week starting saturday or sunday. Its a 4 hour drive. we go every year to connect with cousins. I've got a UTI. I'm not taking anything because they tried septra, cipro and macrobid. Something caused a nasty case of Hives, Some nasty hive became a fluid filled blister on my RIGHT Breast.. the healthy side. It feels swollen and theres an open sore in large blotches requiring a 4x8 inch gauze dressing several times a day. No fever. Saw a Derm, who judged it a spontaneous severe allergic erruption!! Gave wash & Cloderm, looks under control.
I missed getting the cortisone shots in my hips due to the hives. They won't inject you if you have a skin condition like Hives. I am rescheduled for tuesday...
I wanna be at the beach with my girls on tuesday. I don't want a UTI TO grow without treatment. Just how much beer would wash it all away?
Advice?
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You may want to stick to cranberry juice although beer sounds like more fun. 0
