Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Cristine,
I just have to make sure that f/u stands for follow up!?!?!? Cause I don't make that other kind of appointment with oncologists.
Smilingly,
Sue
P.S. DRINK,DRINK,DRINK!!!!
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I am not believing my dh (and I don't mean dear). He has literally been laying on the couch for 2 days getting up only to eat, go to the bathroom and go to bed last night. And no he's not sick, just being lazy. He doesn't work on Mondays so I'm sure it'll be another day of the same. I don't know how I'm going to stand it when he retires at the end of September.
After watching me clean this morning, he watched me cook dinner. I did pork chops on the grill with some baby baked potatoes and green beans so it was a lot of running in and out of the house to tend the grill. Put it all on the table and told him it was ready. He proceeded to sit there and complain the pork chops weren't done the way he likes them (completely dried out so there's no flavor left). I couldn't believe it and then he couldn't believe his complaining made me mad.
I'm ready to go on a cooking strike. . .any of you ever done that and does it work? Cooking for people who don't appreciate it sucks.
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Sheila, just about every night dh asked what are we going to eat tonight? I'm really beginning to detest cooking. I believe he cooked all last week.
The thing he does is salt too heavily. I chastise him in a very nice way. LOL I DON'T put him down. So, sometimes our dinner does not come out like we want. Eat it anyway. Besides, your dh should be doing the grilling. That's a MAN'S JOB!!! 0 -
Grilled pork chops with baby baked potatoes and green beans? That sounds delicious!! I am so not feeling the "rice with cheese" I've got on the stove. I am such an uninspired cook that the men in my life must cook if they want to eat.
True story: One thing I can usually make is pancakes. I was making pancakes and my mom called. She told me some really sad news. I was distracted. I admit, the pancakes weren't great. Well, my then-dbf has the nerve to sit in front of a stack of perfectly acceptable if not perfect pancakes and say "These pancakes were not cooked with love." To which I replied (after a moment where I was blinded by the image of whacking him with a stillhot cast iron skillet), "You're right, dear. They were cooked with distraction. And they will be disposed of now with great animosity." And I threw 'em out.
Cook for you. But methinks unappreciative eaters can go to hell.
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I was going to bitch, but I decided that my bitch really wasn't worth it. My mother-in-law has been what she is for the 40 years I have known her, it is I who has lost patience.
HOWEVER - ungrateful eaters do not deserve to be cooked for. At least that is my humble opinion. For some years we have operated under the rule that I cook Monday to Friday and Saturday and Sunday are his problem. It works well for us (well it works for me).
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Cristine, I've been to quite a few f/u visits. I was reading a breast cancer book and the chick was being treated with taxol and 5-fu. It cracked me up. 5-fu indeed.
Sheila, I think Ramen noodles are a great meal to fix for your hubby. No running in and out, knocking yourself out. Cooks in about 3 minutes. Then you can run out and meet a friend for dinner in a nice restaurant. You won't be able to invite DH, because that would involve getting off the couch.
Rockthebald, I love your quick response to annoying comments. I would have probably just given him 5-FU, because I don't always have a quick come back time. Thanks for the giggle.
Shirley, did you find out if you can water yet? It keeps raining on me, so I'm not needing to water yet. I do need to wash my poor dirty car and WAX it. Blech.
Why, oh why do the weekends pass by so quickly? *sigh*
Miss S
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This is my most famous cooking story. When I was younger I lived with my STUPID girlfriend (the one that wanted me to go to the D.R. with her one week after surgery) I had invited my boyfriend over for dinner and he was bringing his guy friend also. The 4 of us were going to have dinner together. I had the day off and being young (19) and stupid I did not know how to cook that much. So I thought that spagetti and meatballs was a good choice. I spent the whole day making the spagetti sauce. I thought that it would taste good if I added some tomato soup to it to along with a bunch of other things. So, we all sit down to dinner and we start to eat. Then we start talking about a music tape that is down in my boyfriend's car. We would like to listen to it so I volunteer to go down to the car to get the tape. I leave in the middle of dinner and when I come back everyone is done their dinner and their plates are all cleaned off. They say that they ate all of their food. I am suspicious. But then I go to the bathroom and I use the toilet and it had a RED ring around the toilet. So now I know!!!! I come out of the bathroom and confront them!!!! And my girlfriend and the guys confess. Yes, they flushed my dinner down the toilet. Can you believe that? Then to add insult to injury, overnight the cat somehow gets into the garbage and eats the rest of the sauce and spagetti and then the cat throws up all over the apartment all night long. My girlfriend still tells this story to anyone who will listen to it about what a crappy cook I used to be. That I was such a crappy cook that even the cat threw up all night long bacause of me. I try to tell her that maybe the cat threw up because maybe the sauce was a little too spicy for his tummy , but NO, it was my crappy spagetti sauce that made the cat throw up. Thank goodness the cat didn't die. Then I would really be in trouble.
Kerry
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rock,
great pancake story. Great new avatar--love the hat.
fedora fedora fedora
Love,
Sue
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As usual you guys have made me feel better. I've calmed down, but he's still not getting any cooking out of me for a while.
Rock - Love the pancake story, wish I could be quick witted rather than just get mad
Kerry - At least they tried to not hurt your feelings. . .they just weren't any good at covering up their tracks. Glad you can laugh at it now.
My dh doesn't cook any meals at all, but then he's picky about what someone else cooks for him. He will cook on the grill if someone besides me is around to watch him (you know, when he's playing the look what a great husband I am role). He's made me hate cooking. One thing's for sure, when he retires in Sept he's going to get a list of his household chores (something else he doesn't do) and what nights are his responsibility for dinner.
Sorry for turning this into a bitch session about my dh. We've been married for 30+ years and sometimes it's just hard to figure out why I'm still here.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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Oh, Sue - You have gotten sassy with your fedora! And could I get some 5fu for my neighbors?
mke - we work it the other way. He takes care of himself Monday - Thursday and I cook (occasionally) Friday - Sunday. Or we go out. I didn't really do that on purpose. Our schedules just make it that way, but it works for me and I don't get too burned out on cooking.
Rock - You get the award for always knowing exactly the right thing to say! I'll bet he was not ungrateful again...
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Cristine,
I thank you from the bottom of my sassy heart. I NEED to feel sassy this morning. I am going to argue with a powerful man who doesn't have a clue about air traffic control, yet has his own set-in-stone opinion that we are doing it wrong. Sort of the difference between theory and practice with a large helping of male arrogance thrown in.
That's my light work this morning.
Taking Ruby along,
Sue
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Sue - That sucks. Nothing like arguing with a man (or anyone for that matter) who's never done your job but knows that he has a better way of doing it. Throw some of that sass at him
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oh ladies....its taken me forever to catch up and I can't stay much longer, so I will just say thank you for the funny stories, I am sorry for the sucky ones...the lazy - not to sensitive dh stories remind me how lucky I am going through this being waited on hand and foot without cooking or housework to worry about (Thank You God). I suddenly feel much better about the crying jag that came on in a restaurant this weeken!
I hope everyone has a semi-suckless Monday (that some how sounds almost dirty, doesn't it?)
My only vent - trying to muster the guts needed for that port install and first chemo treatment...nothing like standing atop that building counting down to the jump!
Ugh...where is my bed and where are the covers!
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harley
i am sooooo happy to see your post ! stick around even its just a little bit- give the effexor time to work i felt the same way you did and i was on medication for anxiety before my bc but it wasnt doing what it should and i had this gloom and doom feeling everyday- they upped my medication dose a little and wow it was unbelievable - it was just like a dark cloud had been lifted and i know it was becos of the medication- believe me i AM NOT pushing drugs on anyone but I do not like to see someone suffer with those feeings either- sometimes meds work and its always worth just a try- if one dosent feel it works then it was no loss and look for another option
keep positive and give it a chance
we love you harley
lauren - i feel like i was bald and before i knew it i had my pony back! i used to dream about having a pony again and now its hear ! its been almost 2 yrs this coming aug i had my last chemo and my hair is longggg again
well now for something that SUCKS ! i since my dbl mast surg /recomstruct i ALWAYS have some new pain- (posture was bad before but got worse hauling around those expanders! ) neck, shoulder, now jaw (tmj) i guess we learn to live with it! ADVIL for me everyday !! IT DOES SUCK !!!!!! but for NED I will be happy with just aches and pains
have an UNSUCKY day my friends--
julia
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harley
i am sooooo happy to see your post ! stick around even its just a little bit- give the effexor time to work i felt the same way you did and i was on medication for anxiety before my bc but it wasnt doing what it should and i had this gloom and doom feeling everyday- they upped my medication dose a little and wow it was unbelievable - it was just like a dark cloud had been lifted and i know it was becos of the medication- believe me i AM NOT pushing drugs on anyone but I do not like to see someone suffer with those feeings either- sometimes meds work and its always worth just a try- if one dosent feel it works then it was no loss and look for another option
keep positive and give it a chance
we love you harley
lauren - i feel like i was bald and before i knew it i had my pony back! i used to dream about having a pony again and now its hear ! its been almost 2 yrs this coming aug i had my last chemo and my hair is longggg again
well now for something that SUCKS ! i since my dbl mast surg /recomstruct i ALWAYS have some new pain- (posture was bad before but got worse hauling around those expanders! ) neck, shoulder, now jaw (tmj) i guess we learn to live with it! ADVIL for me everyday !! IT DOES SUCK !!!!!! but for NED I will be happy with just aches and pains
have an UNSUCKY day my friends--
julia
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Rock, LOVE the pancake story! You women have guts! You cooked for your boyfriend....well, when I was dating my now husband I used to be a darn fool! I washed and ironed his stupid clothes AND folded them. He was in the service. I can't believe I did that. I HATED ironing! Of course that was back in the dark ages. Oh, I also cooked for him. Yep, and still do (sometime). LOL But, I'm not the same "girl" I used to be. Nope..no way!
Miss S, your suggestions about cooking the noodles then going out to eat with the girls...good advice! When I have lunch with a friend it's known that I won't be cooking that night. And, I know we can water, but don't know which days, or if there's a restriction to which days. I've been too busy..LOL I've been taking my car to Sam's to have it washed. They have a neat carwash. It's pressure so nothing touches your caz. However, I do need to clean my wheels and wax it. That should be dh's job, right?
OMG, Kerry, the spaghetti story was a hoot! The poor cat.
Sheila, bitch on 'bout your "d"h. It would take me too long to post all my bitches about mine. He used to be a "fix-it" man. Now he doesn't do anything. Granted he has back problems, but he rarely, AND I MEAN RARELY wears the neuro-simulator thing he had put in last year. It makes me so mad. We still have several spindles that need to be painted that's been waiting for over a year. They're have Kiltz on them, but no pain. Guess I'll have to break down and do it. Then, he'll take over. Dammit, I washed the spindles and taped the bottom and tops so the paint wouldn't get where it wasn't supposed to be. I hope the damned blue tape will come off! Don't get me started! He bought some grass seed and still hasn't done anything with it! I told you...don't get me started. I'll wait for another time to bitch more cuz I'm just getting worked up. Where's my pills! BTW, he's been retired TOO long.
Cristine, hope you're feeling okay.
Sue, your job is stressful enough without having to argue with a STUPID man!
Flyrzfan, the port is easy..really! I didn't feel ANYTHING except for a bit of pushing. And most NORMAL people go to sleep. They gave me some "stuff" but it takes a sledge hammer to knock me out. I didn't even go to sleep when I had my colonoscopy..I watched it insead. Really, it won't be bad. And if you have a different experience than I did then you can come beat me up.
Julia, sorry about the pain. That DOES suck!
{{{{Harley}}}}, hope you are feeling a bit better today. Hope you got some sleep last night. Listening to the cats and dh sleep sucks!
Hope everyone has a "decent" day today. It's hot here.
Hugs,
Shirley
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Shirley, and Sheila, from a few posts back.
I am quaking in my boots, DH is planning to retire in 2 years, and already he spends so much time doing nothing!!
I really couldn't fault him when I had my bilat and treatment, he just took over all my jobs, ran round in circles for me, drove me to every appointment, in fact in a way he drove me round the bend as he was always 'there', every time I turned round there he was, and I am a person who prefers to do my own thing !! I was soooo pleased when I was able to just jump in my car and go out alone !
Nowadays all this is a distant memory, he has completely forgotten how to do chores.
Well, so have I, I have got myself a cleaning lady twice a week, which completely frees me from all housework. There are only 2 of us in the house, so things never get too bad. I blamed the se's of Arimidex for this !!!!
When I first got together with DH I cooked. Well now, I am not the best cook in the world, but I am OK. BUT, as time went by he started niggling that this was wrong, and that was wrong. When we had friends in he would moan, yet they would all say the food was good. MIL had already warned me that he always picked fault in all her cooking, so I KNEW it wasn't me. One day I just said enough was enough, I was just sick of his complaints, and from now on he could cook for himself, and I stuck to it.
I used to cook really mouthwatering chinese food, and curry, his favorites, but only do enough for myself !!!! I admit this was just to get back at him for all the complaining he had done.
(I used to get myself in a real old state waiting for him to come in for his dinner, and wondering what I could possibly have done wrong this time) But I stuck to my guns, and have never fed him again. Now I just buy myself ready meals or have a salad, but the weight that has been lifted from my shoulders cannot be measured.Now I just need to get him back on track with all the outstanding jobs....the latest of which is my stairway and landing. I painted the walls in Feb. 2007, all but the top 4' of wall, and the ceiling I just couldn't reach, I left a big tin of emulsion paint at the top of the stairs...... on the stairs...... at the bottom of the stairs..... and yesterday I put it back at the top of the stairs...in the hope he will fall over the damned tin and remember to just stick the paint on.
By now I am sure the paint will have changed shade. I don't think there is a job in the house he has ever finished. I just ring for my son to come and do it now, and pay him from DH's wallet. Usually causes quite a stir, but WTF ???
Isabella.
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Isabella, I like the way you "run" things.
My dh was also good about taking me to treatments (have a two hour plus drive) and cook all the meals during chemo. He did the dishes most of the time unless I decided I NEEDED to do them. However, as far as cleaning....NOPE. At the time he was working some...contracting.
Isabella, be closest I'll ever have as a cleaning woman is my vaccum cleaner. LOL Twice a week? Wow! My dd pays a woman $75 every two weeks to clean and she only has a very small apartment. The guest bathroom doesn't need cleaning unless company's been there. The guest bedroom is very easy to clean cuz no one's in there. My other dd has a larger house and is talking about having someone to clean a couple of times a month. If it costs my other dd $75, I'm sure it will cost this dd over $100. Or my other dd is getting ripped off!
Shirley
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Shirley, that sucks, you DESERVE a cleaning woman. And then you could bake full time. (Hint)
Isabella, it sucks that your DH has forgotten how to do chores. I am really lucky in that mine cooks when he is home, and when he's not home, well, he's not here so I can have a pb & j for dinner if I want to!!!! He's a pilot and he's gone about half the time. He flies for that airline that has started charging people for the privilege of bringing a bag along. What a PR nightmare that is going to be. Some clueless bean counter in an ivory tower somewhere came up with that idea....and for that he will probably get a huge cash bonus!!
Tired, had a busy day, going to bed.....
Love,
Sue
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Shirley,
Yes, the poor cat. Everyone had better hide their cats when I start cooking. The furry felines may have upset tummys.
I pay my 2 cleaning ladies $50.00 a time for my house and they come every 2 weeks.
Kerry
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Beware of the newly retired man!!!
It is a well known fact that when a man retires, his wife becomes stupid! I am living proof that this occurs. I ran a business, home, children and part of HIS business, but when he retired, I lost any brains I ever had.
His remarks to others on the phone: I just don't know how I got it all done when I worked. Now, I heard it several times and just let it go, but when he said it to ME, I lost it. Had to leave the house, I was so angry----blew out my damn other knee trying to walk it off.
I finally said: you got it all done because you had a WIFE and a full time office manager and an assistant that was by your side from the time you left home till 6:30 pm EVERY DAMN DAY!
My mom always said: for better or worse, but not for lunch. I had to find things to do to get away from home. Even went back and started college courses. Work out 3x wk., too.
I collected all the menues of local resturants and fast food places and if I don't feel like cooking: he simply asks me where he should go to get the take out.
LOL He's almost never complimented my cooking, but will tell me occasionally what's wrong, or that he'd prefer not to have it again. Mostly he eats anything I put in front of him. And he knows that he has the same rights as our kids did (he was never, never here for supper) If you don't like it and won't eat it, you know where the peanut butter and jelly are. go for it.
It's turned out ok, now that I have gotten over having someone here almost all the time. He has found a job one or two days a week and that has helped., but he had to come to understand that cutting the grass and picking up leaves (with a tractor) were only the beginning of things that had to be done at the house and that HE was going to become part of those details.
It took a while, but he DID catch on----just hold your ground!
He took over the bill paying, grocery shopping, clipping coupons, any hard work involving a shovel, hammer or wrench. (goodie!)
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Shirley & Isabella - Too bad we can't get together for lunch. . .I think we could spend hours getting this stuff off our chests!
Dotti - You've given me hope that my plan to give him set chores around the house when retires will work. Glad you set your dh straight on how he "managed" when he was working!
Sue - Hope things went well today and the meeting wasn't too sucky.
Well dh did get off the couch today and then attempted to do all the things he should've been working on all weekend. Mowed and trimmed the yard, pressure washed the pool deck and got the pool open (that one required my help though because I'm the one who's opened it by myself for the last 4 years). He was wore out and after he got out of the shower about 7:00 he asked me about dinner and I said McDonalds would be fine with me. . .he went to get it without any complaints so I think he got the message.
Hey Isabella & Shirley, I've got a paint story too. In March of 2003 my dh was sent to Germany right at the start of the Iraq war and was there for 7 months. In June of that year, my 19 year old daughter informed me she was 6 months pregnant and the father was in no shape to take on a family. So there I was in desperate need to get my house ready for a new baby and my husband was on the other side of the world. I ended up recarpeting and painting my whole upstairs (think I went a little crazy and all the work helped to occupy my mind). Anyway, I couldn't get the stairwell painted completely because I was too afraid to put a ladder up in there. He told me to not worry about it, that he would paint it when he came home. Well, here we are almost 5 years later and it's still not painted. So repainting all that will be one of his first retirement jobs!
I would've killed for a cleaning lady when I was working full time.
All in all, today wasn't too sucky. The weather was beautiful and I spent a lot of time outside and dh actually got some things done.
Here's to a less than sucky Tuesday for everyone.
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Does anyone know when Traci lands in Texas? That is where she is moving right? I miss my brain!
Deb C
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Shirley, my cleaning lady isn't too expensive, I pay her what will be the equivalent of $75, and she comes in for 2 x four and a half hour shifts.
Isabella.
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I looked back through the posts and if I'm reading it right, Traci landed in Dallas last Thursday. Hopefully we'll hear from her sometime this week.
Hope everything went well and there was no major suckiness on the long road trip, Traci. I imagine you're pooped.
Isabella - Is that $75 per visit or per week? I don't think anyone in the States could get a cleaning lady to come twice a week for only $75, but if that's that the per week charge, you've got a really good deal girl.
Only suckiness going on here is that my dd is taking some early classes this week and I think she figures if she has to get up, she might as well make enough noise to wake the rest of the house.
BTW, dh is still upstairs in bed. He called work and took a vacation day today. . .how can he need a vacation day????
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A big howdy and a big that sucks to everyone that needs to hear it.
I think you all are getting used to my schedule now. Its the work week and I have very little computer time. I had to work 14 hours yesterday - inhumane I say! Anyways, thats my bitch. Maybe I will get home early enough to read everyones posts!
Nicki
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"For better or for worse but not for lunch." That's great! My exH and I worked in the same place for about 6 months -- he wanted to have lunch together all the time, ack. Sometimes you just need a break from each other. (That's not what broke up our marriage BTW.) As for the cooking, I have to admit that I miss having someone around who enjoys and appreciates my culinary creations. My 7-year-old ds would be thrilled if I let him eat chicken nuggets every day.
BTW, I think the cost of housecleaners varies greatly from region to region. I'm in Massachusetts and I pay $80 every other week -- and I only have a 2-bedroom condo! Ordinarily I do it myself, but my wonderful coworkers offered to pay for housecleaners while I am going through treatment.
No bitches for me today, except for a sluggish digestive system that is preventing me from losing any weight.
A hearty "that sucks" for any of you having a sucky day today!
Lauren
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Wishing minimal suckiness to everyone.
Here's my bitch. It's so juvenile that I'm a little embarrassed to post it, but here goes:
Last night I'm driving home from work through a construction zone that's reduced traffic to a single lane. Or, more precisely, to 1.5 lanes. (You know how sometimes the right hand lane is wider to accommodate buses, parked cars, cyclists, etc.?) Despite the fact that there was (barely) enough room to accommodate two vehicles (if one hugged the construction barrels and the other hugged the curb), traffic was proceeding single file.
Except the guy behind me, who was determined to pass me on the right.
And was furious that I wasn't moving over enough to let him.
I saw how pissed off he was getting, which amused me (because, you know, I'm evil), so I made sure to drive squarely in the middle of the lane.
Finally the construction ends, and he floors the accellerator and blows by me, giving me the finger and shouting obscenities.
So, now it's war, right? A few blocks later I pull up next to him at a light (which makes his determination to pass me earlier kind of funny), and give him a hearty "asshole" back. And whip off my scarf so that he can see my bald head.
My intent was that he would realize he'd just been a jerk to a cancer patient, and be overcome with remorse. Instead, he shouts more obscenities. Which leads me to shout more obscenities back.
The problem is, at this point, we're hitting every traffic light simultaneously. So there were lots of opportunities to yell obscenities at one another -- but also (at least it my case), plenty of time to feel foolish . . . especially when we ended up turning onto the same side street. (Thank goodness I turned again almost immediately, while he went straight.)
Bald road rage . . . not a pretty thing.
Linda
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Lewing........you go! haha too funny, I can just picture you.....the raging baldie giving the guy the finger and yelling! I can't believe he didn't even get it!! What a jerk!! Knowing me I probably would have followed him to finish it off!
As for cooking........I officially graduated my DD to adulthood! The other night I was busy doing research for work and wanted to get it done. From the background I kept hearing.......Mom, when's supper....Mom what's for supper.....Mom how much longer for supper.....Mom, I'm hungry! MOOOOOOOM........by that time DH was home too and knew I was busy. Finally after one more....moooom when's........I got up from my work, went to the kitchen and said to both.......Hey, I am NOT the only ADULT in this house, you are also capable to make dinner so don't feel as though you have to wait for me!!! After which I returned to my work and had a late dinner with DH. Sheesh!
Well my suck for today was having to go for first followup mammo! ACK! It's been a year since left side was mammo'd but only 2 1/2 months since right was removed. While sitting in the waiting area some women in another room for an exam was screaming bloody murder!!! Screaming and saying.....your choking me.......and so on! The tech was trying to calm her down and so was the person with her. Finally they shut the door after freaking the rest of us out in the waiting area...........like I wanted to be there anyway......NOT!!!!
Hope ya all don't have too much of a sucky day and for those that do........That Sucks!!!
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lewing, your road rage story got right to me. A reminder once again that I am glad I don't have a concealed weapon permit. I live on the outskirts of Houston and am in city traffic and construction (although I try to avoid it) quite often. I have driven across the 1.5 lanes also just the keep some A&%^*&# from passing me. I keep thinking "if I had a gun, I could stop you from being a repeat offender."
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