Hair Hair Hair - Another question
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{{ChristlC}} so danged sorry you are dealing with this sweet lady! Mine was at that point just before christmas last year, had my first A/C on dec 5 and it was no fun, but then the holidays were just there, nothing special for me and mine anyway, so we kind of skipped them really. I hope being with your brothers and cousins helps to alleviate your fears and shows that this too will be more minor than you expect it to. It's amazing how after it's gone, we can move on and look forward to it coming back. Really does get better AFTER it's gone, I swear. Many {{hugs}}
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My hair has been cut for 2 weeks now,just with scissors and then the clippers.So had maybe an 1/8th to 1/4 " left and that's falling fast and furious.So today i took the lint roller to it again,now i look like a freakin bowling ball,I Hate It !!! I was so depressed over it this morning.I know it'll grow back and my hair does grow fast.But i'm like ChristiC,my hair has always been so a part of me,so you have my sympathies as well.
We'll get thru this,but we're entitled to our Poor me days!!! JMO
Kathi
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{{Kathi}} Yes, you are so entitled to those poor me days! Well deservedly
Unfortunately!I hope you didn't think I was downplaying, as I know well, it was more devastating in the emotional department to me than the mast at the time! Please know I remember well, the night I took a shower and saw an entire head of hair in the shower and called it quits. DD went out and bought a clipper and set to clipping. IN the end, it wasn't enough and still hurt to sleep on, so dh shaved it the next night. I was devasted and didn't want to leave the house ever again! Many {{hugs}} girls for what you are going through...i didn't mean to make it sound easy, just wanted you to know that after it was gone, you really will feel better about it, K?
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Thanks to all.... even worse today. A ton came out in the shower this mroning and now I am shedding. I had to come to work because I have chemo tomorrow (off work) because they are closed for the holiday. Everyone is concerned with the holidays and I just want to hide.
I am contemplating going to my hairdresser after work today and getting him to cut it and put the wig on that he has gotten me. He was going to cut it and style it once again before sending me out with it. It is hard to bring myself to go there and do that.
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Awwwwwwww{{{{CHRISTLC}}}} I'm so sorry.....crappy danged disease. Just never a break. Hon, I'm extending my arm to wrap around you today and this afternoon when you get to your stylists. Know we are supporting you through it and will be here when you get home post about great your wig looks on you! Good Luck hon...{{hugs}}
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ChristiC, I hated, hated, hated losig my hair. I cried, I whined, I carried on to everyone. I hadn't felt good about myself for a long time, then in the last few months pre-dx, I had finally begun to feel good about myself nad how I looked (weight loss, hair style, etc.). And then this stupid disease showed up! It was so not fair.
Even though I decided to have a party to ease me through it, I was sure I was going to cry the entire time. I made sure that the people I invited were people i would feel OK crying with.
But by the time I did the deed (not that one, shaving my head), it actually felt good,. It was a relief--"OK, that's over with, now let's move on to the next step."
it's very hard to get through, but you will and you might even find it's easier on the other side than you thought.
Hugs and hugs!
Martha
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It does suck! But it does get better, really! As I said, I still hate to look in the mirror every morning. Constant reminder, but I would rather still get ters over with in the morning and go to work with a great attitude. Family really does help, so Thanksgiving is a good time to have to deal with this. Share a few laughs and tears and you are well on your way! Let us know how you are doing! Happy Thanksgiving!
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THANKS ALL!!! I don't know what I could do not coming to vent and get feedback. My friends/family mean well but don't understand. My boyfriend has been fabulous but he just thinks .... it is hair... it will grow back.
Three of my cousins called my hairdresser and we are going there after work today at 5:30. He has the human hair wig he got for me. He is either going to shave it and slap it on or cut it really short. I am terrified.
Tomorrow I am off work and going for chemo and then family the rest of the weekend. Maybe the long weekend will be a good time to get used to it. I has to be better than sitting her watching my hair fall out, doesn't it?
Thanks to all! Cristl
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CristlC, If you are bringing your cousins, make it a mini celebration...bring a bottle of champagne or nice wine. Or if you don't drink, go out for a nice meal afterwards. A friend did that with me and we turned it into a lovely afternoon instead of a sad one.
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Good idea Nancy... just called my cousin and she is bringing some wine. I do love my red wine. I told her to bring a valium too but she said she would have it ready but see if the wine does the trick. :-) I am trying to think positive and think this is another step in moving forward and getting this step behind me might help with the stress of waiting for it.
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Great idea to make it a mini-celebration. I went with a wonderful girlfriend during the day to get my hair buzzed off and to get fitting with a wig. Afterwards, we thought of hitting a bar, but instead hit IHop and ate all the high-calorie, high-fat stuff we'd normally never touch. It was great to completely indulge ourselves, healthy habits be damned. I'm smiling and chuckling even now as I think of it.
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Cristl,
It was hard for me too. It got easier when I got used to the wig. First I had to decide, am I doing the wig? or caps or scarves? At first I was so ill from the AC I just did scarves under caps. I then moved to the wig. The first few times anybody saw me in the "WIG" I was so self concous. I felt like I was flashing a neon sign, "THIS IS NOT MY REAL HAIR!!" But nobody else seemed to notice. Good, I thought. When you get used to it yourself, you'll feel better. I went out to lunch with girlfriends the first time I had my Wig on in public. They were wonderful. I got more confidence.
Your cousins can do this for you!
Spring...
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CristlC ~ So sorry for all the stress you're experiencing. There's just no good time to lose one's hair. And saying it isn't a permanent loss doesn't help much at the time. By the time you read this, your party is probably over. How did it go? How are you doing? Making the decision is the tough part.
I recall my hair started to fall out on a Tuesday. While showering, I couldn't imagine what was slowly sliding down my back. I just dreaded that feeling with every shower and prayed that I could get through Friday. It was a fund raiser (fun run) at the kids' school and I wanted to be myself for the day. My hair just about made it. I had to keep brushing it off my clothes but we were outside so it was ok. I called my hairdresser the next day. She was even willing to come to the house but I went there. We all cried a little but in the end it was a relief to have it over with. I felt so odd with the wig on my head although I've always liked the way it looked. The next day was Mother's Day. It definitely made me focus on my blessings.
I think we're all waiting to hear how you're doing, CristlC. I've been praying for you.
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Cristl and Kathy, just popping in to say that I'm thinking of you, too. Please let us know how you are doing. I hope that you are like some of the women who have posted to say that after it was done they felt better (unfortunately that wasn't my experience). Whether it's a wig or a hat or scarf or nothing at all, just find whatever feels most comfortable and you will get through this!
Lauren
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Hair update:
A couple of weeks ago, my DIL saw my short hair and said she thought I looked like a "young Judi Dench." I cringed, because I don't like (Dame) Judi Dench's character in the James Bond movies.
[Edited to eliminate the confusion: This is a pic of Judi Dench, you guys--NOT me.]
OTOH, she's rich and famous, so maybe I shouldn't complain. Her hair is not as dark or curly as mine, though.
otter
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Otter HA..HA for a second as I scrolled I thought this was you on the picture. When are we going to see you again? or the hair? Acually this looks a lot like my hair. It's a little longer but much flippier...If that's a word.
Color's right on. I don't mind the shortness but my forehead looks like it's a mile high with the bangers so short.CrislC...wait till everyone tells you how great your wig is....you'll calm down in a flash.I had such good reports I've thought of hauling it out and wearing it in this cold weather.
Take care all, Artsee
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I am still getting taxol chemo which is not due to end until 12/26/2008, but due to bad side effects they cut back my taxol by 25% about 3 weeks ago and my hair is starting to grow back already, so I imagine after the completion of taxol it might start to grow a lot faster - smile
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Artsee, I thought the same things, my she's pretty, then realized it was the Dame!
Otter, you should post your pic, I bet your beautiful and just afraid of making us plain Jane's feel badly
Come on, we're waiting! Beth-Ann, hope you get that growth you expect!
one more month hey....that's great!0 -
OMG, I was sitting here saying, DAMN, Does Otter look like Judy Dench or WHAT? LOL.
I can't wait to have that much hair!!!!
Spring.
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Hi all,
Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Well, Tuesday after talking here I met my cousins at my hairdressers and he shaved it. He was great. I was so upset and he just handled it. He dhaved it and put this wig on that he got me and styled it. Later that night I took a look at my bald head. It is still a shock. But at least it is done and that part is done. I can't say what all i really feel yet. I came back early from my brohters because i can't get this adhesive to work right and am meeting my hairdresser again tomorrow for a lesson or to tell me it looks alright or something. My boyfriend gets back Sunday so I still have to do the big reveal to him which I am not looking forward to. He is so supportive and says it doeesn't make a difference to him but it still sure is a little stressful. I know this too will pass but it seems a long way away.... thanks to everyone for helping me through this. HOpefully I will be able to help someone else when they come to this board going through all these feelings. Enjoy your weekends!!
Cristl
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Cristl,
you might want to try what I did. I sent my partner some digital photos of myself taken at the shaving party, so she had an idea what I looked like before she saw me in reality. That way, she could be totally supportive by the time she saw me--sort of gave her a heads-up.
Your bf sounds like he'll be OK...sometimes I think we're harder on ourselves than anyone else is.
Hugs to you!
Martha
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this is HILARIOUS!! This is the exact picture I pulled up and showed my husband when I told him I looked like an ostrich...and I also showed this to my students...that was a laugh!
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Torchsong, That is a good idea! It will give him a little time to process. You are probably right.... I am much more worried about it than he probably is.
Hugs to you too, Cristl
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I'm sure you look fine Christl
I know it's hard, but by next weekend, you'll be saying what we did, that it was liberating to have it done. Many {{hugs}} be/c yes, this first week is difficult. There were those who never saw me hairless, but those who counted in my life did, and that's the only the mattered. That they didn't fall on the floor laughing, or their jaws drop, or their eyes bug out and they didn't gasp Then there was a sister and her 2 boys (of 8 kids) who had their heads shaved in support! Strangest thing anyone has done in my eyes, but they did it! In the mid winter in Michigan too! Whew! Had to be cold for them, b/c I know it was cold for me 8 hours south of them You'll truly be surprised at how good you feel to have it behind you 0 -
Stop me if I've said this already...
When I visited my parents and sister last summer, it was the first time I had seen them since Christmas (pre-dx). I had not only started chemo by the summer, but I was finished already. So, I was feeling great, even though I was still bald-bald and looking like a cancer patient.
I had been wearing caps and scarves in public (having skipped the wig thing), but I decided to go commando in my parents' house. That was a difficult thing to do. I wanted to send my family a message, though: "Yes, I am finished with my treatments and I'm feeling much better--but, this was a very difficult thing for me to go through, and the effects are lingering."
My family has a tendency to over-react to things. All throughout my treatments (when they hadn't seen me), and even now, 5+ months post-chemo, they talk to me on the phone like they're expecting me to keel over any time. ("How are you feeling? So, you're feeling okay? Are you sure?")
Yet, at other times they've acted as if nothing has happened to me--my dx and tx were no big deal. OTOH, what's going on in their lives has been really significant: fights with the bf, sharp words from the boss, having to work extra hours, the yard crew not showing up as scheduled, etc., etc. Sheesh.
So, maybe it was mean of me, but I wanted to present them with the paradox I was facing every day: Even though I'm feeling and acting "normal" again, I'm not the same as I was a year ago. I've gone through a difficult time, and it has changed me.
I know everyone here understands that paradox.
Hugs...
otter
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Otter, definitely understand the paradox. Here's the other part of it. For the most part, physically we're feeling fine, great even, until we start the treatment. Then we hit the rocks. This is one of those things where the cure makes us feel worse than the initial disease.
And now, I don't trust feeling fine anymore. I felt fine when I went for my mammogram last January and look where that got me.
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Nancy, you are so right...that behind the scenes fear....just waiting to grab you by your shoulders and shake your world again! I hear it will pass and keep hoping it comes sooner than later
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well here i am 2 1/2 yrs from being bald and i have all my hair back ! hang in there it does come back and sometimes nicer my hair came back sooo curly - at first i felt like a poodle and just used tons of gel and slicked it back now i got a keroten treatment and it helps to relax the curls a bit - keeps away the frizzies and is good for the hair
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My first TC tx is Dec 3 and I am getting my hair cut and pick up my wig on Dec 2; On Dec 8 I return to work out of state. I am hoping against hope that my hair can last until I come home on Dec 22 so I can go back to my beautician here and have it buzzed. But I will probably be looking for some stranger in the city where I work to do it about Dec 18 and will have to try to figure out how to put on that damn wig. And somehow I was initially thinking - I just have to get through chemo with a wig -- so not true, it's going to be part of me for the next nine to twelve months at least, I estimate at the rate that you report hair is growing........aaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
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{{Brenny}} so sorry you are starting through this journey with chemo, but it will be easier being on this forum, b/c you've got a lot of knowlegdable ladies posting on here, that many never had to start their chemo trip with
I started A/C last Dec 5th. Had cut 14inches off my hair before surgery in oct. When Christmas came, it was definitely started to come out in major ways especially in the shower and I just couldn't stand it anymore, so we buzzed it off. Short at first, then the next night, shaved it, b/c it still hurt to have ti short when trying to sleep. I believe it was either the 25th, or 26th we cut, but to be real, I can't remember now
They do say you can lose about 60% of your hair before anyone notices. But I know too, that for some it came out in patches rather than thinning type, so that might make a difference.0
