Hair Hair Hair - Another question
Comments
-
I got behind on this conversation. Lots of good input about this hair loss topic. I'm still very down about it myself.
Bareclaws--you share my same sentiments about this subject. When we finish treatment we are still paying the price by continuing to have to live our lives without hair. We may feel normal but still look like a cancer patient. I was shopping with my sister yesterday. I saw someone in the store I knew. I intentionally went to the far back corner of the store to avoid having her speak to me. I don't want to answer anybody's stupid and insensitive questions or hear the same old platitude of "oh it's just hair, it'll grow back, just be patient". I'm so SICK of hearing that. I've been without my hair for almost 7 months now. I've been plenty patient I think. I've been poked and poisoned with chemo, I've been fried with radiation, the emotional side of this diagnosis has been more than I can handle. The least we could have after all of this is our hair back so we can at least have a little bit of self confidence and dignity back. I'm humiliated to just look in the mirror let alone have anyone else see me like this. When I was first diagnosed I was very close to not agreeing to do chemo because of this exact reason. I didn't want to lose my hair. I've cried about that more than any other thing. My hair grows very slow the way it is. I told my hair dresser in the beginning that it would be at least 5 years until it got back to shoulder length again. I'm pretty sure I will be right on that. I wanted to get extensions. I was told that I only needed an inch of hair to do it. When it was getting close to an inch long I inquired again. I was told it was almost long enough but nowhere thick enough. About half of my scalp shows through the little hair I do have. I hate hats. I have 3 wigs. 2 of them human hair. All of them look fake, are super uncomfortable and are very obvious. I wouldn't dream of a scarf on my head. Summer is coming and it's hot here. I feel like I'm stuck inside because I'm not fit to be seen in public. People stare, people are cruel, and people are just plain rude. I have low self esteem to start with and this has made it 100 times worse. I told my family if I went through with chemo I was going to come out of it looking like a bald headed freak. That's exactly how I feel. I don't mean to sound so negative or be venting about this again but this truly how I feel. I just want to be me and that is definitely not happening in my current state.
Dara--Im having the same problem as you of having to reset my password every time I log on here. I find myself not getting on here as often as I'd like just for that reason. I have reported this to the moderators numerous times over the past several months and they are saying they are unable to recreate the problem on their end thus not able to find a solution.
0 -
Bareclaws - I am sorry - I did not mean many women do not grieve DEEPLY about the loss of their hair.
It's just for ME it's was "part of the chemo package" and I found other - like struggling to get up two flights of stairs on the third cycle of AC because my HB crashed to 8...harder to manage, my family situation is such that I have to function independent of the cost to me if you like.
It's a shit disease and it hits all of us in many WAYS over many YEARS.
DaraB totally agree with your post - chemo is somewhat nonspecific - and it Is Dark Ages.
As "go and get on with your life" yep my onc almost muttered it - it was a well meant comment but widly lacking in perspective.0 -
Really feel for all you ladies who are struggling with hair re-growth. I hated the looks of pity I got when I was bald. I hated that it screamed, "Hey, I'm a cancer patient". I never wore my wig. Detested it. It was far too hot during an Australian summer. I wore cotton bandanas when I went out. I could wet them to keep cool. Bald at home. I ditched head coverings at 12 weeks post chemo though it was still blatantly obvious that I had had chemo. Will post a couple of pics. This is the length of my hair when I threw away the head coverings.0 -
It came in curly and quite grey. I hated it. It was hair but it wasn't my hair. I had never coloured and it had always been straight. I have now had 2 haircuts and put a wash out colour through it. I feel more like me. 0 -
Wildplaces what part of Aus are you?
I'm Nth West NSW.
0 -
I hope this helps why this "hair thing" is such a freckin BIG deal.
I have the same haircut as Congressman Trey Gowdy or at least it looks the same to me. The guy that sits in front of me at church has longer hair than I do.
My husband likes short hair and tells me all the time how nice my hair looks. I thank him. I know he means it.
My hair is grey. I have probably been ever color in the Clairol line. I hate grey hair.
My barber, friends, husband tell me my hair is silver. I appreciate their kind words. It still looks grey to me.
I miss the person I was before cancer. I don't think she will ever come back. In some ways that it OK. I know I am a nicer person now.
I think my different hair is the epitome of what it means to have cancer. Fixing my hair and makeup has always been such a big part of my life. Now, all that is over in a few minutes. I spend my time trying to look like I use to. I have not been late for anything since my diagnosis. It just doesn't take me long to get ready anymore. I don't even have to shave my legs.
I have accepted this is the way my life is and there is no going back. That is probably the hardest decision I have had to made. Deciding to have my breasts amputated was an easier decision.
So that has been the struggle.
Now for the good news. My husband and I were on a road trip and checked into a hotel Sunday night. Some 20 something hotel clerk that checked us in looked at me and said "I want to cut my hair like yours but I don't have the courage. Your hair looks great."
There is hope.
Coach Vicky
0 -
Smurfette26
So wine country or are you further in?
I am Gold Coast now, from Melbourne ( city folk...ahhh what do they know😉)
I like your hair in both styles ( to me it looks super healthy and thick ) but that is just me and I am no fashionista... Although I must admit to too many shoes, lots of them useless but for attacking a stranger (what was I thinking back then??)
I don't have picks but mine is sprouting uneven, curly and grey (I am 49) after being flat and in a classic bob ( mercifully it didn't autocorrect to boob!) for more then twenty years. Well ...it will just have to do.
Keep well and try and have fun with yours 😊0 -
I agree with all of you missing your hair. It does make us stick out as being cancer patients. I look back to normal except for my hair. My wig looks good and many people compliment me on my new hair do. Someone last week who knows me fairly well just kept going on and on about how great it looked even to ask where I had the highlights. I couldn't let her keep going so had to fill her in. I'm not sure what will be my head covering once the weather warms up. We still have snow! The wig is so hot and uncomfortable. A scarf I guess. My hair is coming in, white but coverage is good just too slow for my liking!!
0 -
On the plus side...I love my new t-shirt that says "I'm too sexy for my hair"
0 -
I am 5 weeks post chemo and my hair while growing is taking its time. I am so tired of covering up but as we still have some chilly weather here in Philly, it isn't as uncomfortable as it will be when the weather heats up. I am happy to ditch the coverings with even an inch! I am 61 so the grey comes with the territory. Before all of this, I did dye my hair. I had to get rid of those "distinguished" greying sideburns. So far that is how it is coming in and am afraid I will look like a Martian when it finally fills out. But I would rather that than this baldness all the same. I need patience!
0 -
Seq, I've even sent a series of 7 screen shots with each message and they tell me the same thing, they can't replicate the issue. :-( By any chance do you have a Mac? Sometimes I know Safari doesn't like some things, but I have no problems with any other site. Hmmm.
0 -
Dara--I don't have a Mac. I have tried to access this site from 3 different computers in my house and have the same problem. I'm not even going to attempt it on my phone. It is getting really annoying that every time I get on here I have to go through the process to reset my password. This has been going on for months now.
0 -
tried an all natural color and it didn't do squat on the gray0 -
a little red on the top. So thin
0 -
Just something to throw out there. I was talking today to the oncology nurse caseworker assigned to me by my insurance company. She mentioned to me that there is a lot of research being done on the use of essential oils to regrow hair after chemo. Has anyone heard of this? At this point I'd do anything to get my hair back. I know nothing about essential oils though, although I know they are a very popular thing right now. She mentioned rosemary, clary sage and cedarwood specifically. I called a salon who I remembered reading sold an oil mixture for hair. They said theirs had lavender, sage, rosemary, peppermint and "several other oils" in it. It was super expensive for a tiny bottle. If anyone has used any of these oils I'd love to find out if it worked.
0 -
I was bald all through my radiation treatment-- so, it may have been a couple months post-chemo.
0 -
I was using peppermint for a while when I started out with the Black Castor Oil. Mint is supposed to stimulate the hair follicles, and even the Nioxin has a scent of mint.
Don't spend a lot for the essential oils. You can find them easily at Sprouts, Whole Foods, or just about any "natural" store. I also use lavender in a diffuser and love it.
0 -
I am using rosemary oil that I bought on amazon though they sell it at whole foods and places like that. My hair is growing very slowly and I am 5 weeks post chemo. So I can't say whether the oil is helping but it smells great and is soothing on my scalp which is a bit itchy. Good luck!
0 -
I just finished Chemo on March 23rd so I haven't got much to work with yet, but I started putting caster oil on my scalp and then I got worried that the oil would clog my pores and then my hair would not grow so I stopped. I bought the cold pressed, hexane free Caster oil. I think it is not suppose to clog the pores, but I have a tendency to overthink things sometimes and got myself paranoid. So now, I am not putting anything extra on it.
0 -
Sorella--Thanks for the info. I know rosemary is on the list of oils for hair growth. I'd like to find a mixture of the best ones and try that although I am so unfamiliar with these things I need to find a "recipe" or something and mix my own.
Mistyeyes--I was using the castor oil too, even before I was done with chemo. I used it every night or every other night for 3 or 4 months. I did not notice any difference at all. My hair dresser told me that too much of the castor oil will clog the pores and do more harm than good so I quit using it. And besides, my husband wouldn't get close to me when I had it on. He hated the smell. I talked to the nurse in my MO's office yesterday. She said that the chemo drugs stay in our bodies for 1-2 months minimum and that hair can't truly grow until it is completely out of our system. This is week 10 PFC for me and I actually think mine has stopped growing or is possibly falling out again because of the hormone blocker I've been taking for the last couple of weeks. This just isn't fair!! We've suffered through enough. We just want our hair back and to be able to look like ourselves!
0 -
I'm beginning to wonder if all these things we are trying are just to help make us feel a little better, and our hair will do whatever it wants and grow at whatever pace it chooses! Seq, I think my hair has really slowed again. I've now tried all 3 AIs and have settled in on Letrozole (Femara). The other morning I was feeling a bit discouraged and asked my husband if he thought my hair was still growing. He said "Oh yes, the other night I looked over and thought, wow, her mohawk is getting longer!" LOL, I first wanted to kill him, but after 45 years of marriage, I know him well. My hair tends to stick straight up on the top of my head. I know I look OK in the wig and feel fine going out in it, but as the weather warms, etc., I just wish I didn't have to wear it. I think back to last Easter which was the last holiday before my big "discovery" and can't quite believe all that has gone on in the past year.
I agree that we've had/done enough. I hate that the AI really slows my metabolism and I have to watch weight and what I eat so carefully. The only thing that is keeping me sane is my pottery. I go to the studio several times a week and just forget about everything else. So thankful I'm no longer working so I can focus on something fun that is just for me!
Hang in everyone. For right now, I think I'm just going with the Nioxin products and just let my hair breathe a bit.
Diana, I had tried a natural/vegetable hair color and it lasted about 3 days. Several people have recommended Madison Reed so I think I will wait a little while and then try that.
Have a great day everyone!
0 -
DaraB, I think you are right! We just want something to give us a sense of control. My MO assistant suggested rogaine. He has been a great support to me and I have followed most of his advice but after giving it some thought, I decided that his suggestion was more about giving me something I could do. I decided to stay away from the chemicals and stick to essential oils though I doubt they are changing anything. I guess we will never know for sure what did or didn't work as long as we have hair again. Mistyeyes, I also have castor oil but rarely use it. I did find a conditioner which uses jamaican castor oil and shea butter, I think (I found it with the African American hair products) which I use once a day and I am taking B-complex (which has biotin in it) seq24, I am with you! We have all been through so much so far, more hair loss adds insult to injury! My eyelashes and eyebrows are coming back but I have read about more loss with hormone meds. I am still in radiation ready to ditch my head covering at the end but who knows? I guess if I am tired of the double takes from some people passing, if I let my semi bald head show, I can expect worse. Hang in there gals!
0 -
DaraB - I'm with you. I'm sticking with Nioxin and just a little something to keep my scalp from drying out. Even so, I suspect that our hair will simply do whatever its going to do, regardless of which product we use. The only way to know for sure is for someone to experiment with using these products on only half of their head. (That person will not be me!)
0 -
yes i was hoping for a divine miracle. Hair started falling out today. Dont like it but at the same time this could be a diversion to neulasta side effects which will be coming
0 -
Reba--although this is off of the hair topic, if you had Neulasta, have you also been taking Claritin? I took it starting the day of chemo when I got the Neulasta until about 6 days after. I didn't have any problems at all with the Neulasta. I also took the Claritin all through Taxol chemo. I still had some pain, but it was a lot more manageable with the Claritin. Best wishes!
0 -
Reba, ditto what seq said. I had pretty strong SEs to the neulasta the first two rounds. I lost my hair 2 1/2 weeks after my first round which is a little faster than most experience. Good luck with treatment. Feel free to ask any questions, even those unrelated to hair. Our connections span all topics!
0 -
I used to follow this page, but stopped a while ago. I've read a few pages again, but haven't seen my issue addressed. Can anyone who has been following this hair thread please tell me if anyone else has the complained about dying their hair and it turning out red? No matter what color my stylist uses, it comes out a shade of red. I have never had red hair in my life. When it starts growing out from the roots, it is a dark brown, dull color, then when dyed it turns it red or orange.
Thanks for any help you can provide.
0 -
Hi LMV, welcome back. I remember our conversation about your dog. I haven't had your problem since chemo (I've only tried a natural chemical free color that only lasted about 3 days.) I've had the problem before BC and my hair dresser had to add quite a bit of ash to the mixture. I hated the red as well. I'm waiting for a little more length to try the real thing. I know the makeup of our hair changes for quite a while but haven't heard of this. How frustrating. I've been on this thread for a while and don't remember a reference to the color change.
0 -
The last time I had it dyed was late February. She attempted a shade of blonde, but it came out bright carrot orange! All I could do was say "wow!" and laugh. She used toner to darken it a bit, but was afraid to do too much as she didn't want it falling out. I think she used ash, trying for a blonde color.
0 -
I have often wondered how Dolly Parton could stand always wearing a wig. Plus she always looks great. I have about 10 and look terrible in them all. We have a wedding to go to next month and I don't know what I am going to do yet ☹️
0
