Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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JudiH, I have no doubt you would've encouraged your neighbor to quit regardless! None of us wish this on anyone else, no matter what uncomfortable feelings a quitter may stir up in us.
My Mom, lifelong smoker, breast cancer survivor and recently diagnosed w/ COPD told me yesterday that her coughing is so disgusting & frequent now that she thinks she should avoid being in public. She doesn't want to gross people out. She's proud of me for quitting, and wishes she could too - but she's 76 and gets pleasure from so few things that she (& I) doubt she'll ever do it. Should I try to encourage her to quit? I don't know what to tell her. I want her to be healthy, but just as much I want her to be happy. What do you ladies think?
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SVG, you are in such a dilemma! I know my mom was diabetic and the nursing home said she couldn't have ice cream. I looked at the nurse in disbelief because my mom was in her 80's. Like it was going to make a difference to have a small amount when she was on diabetic pills. I understand the implications but my heart broke when she had tears in her eyes. I loved her so much that I said "yes" to the ice cream. Interesting comment you made about the smoking and coughing so bad that your mom thought maybe she should avoid being in public. Yes, it probably does gross some people out but your mother and others have a disease. It only takes maturity and old age to be willing to accept such things. I felt so bad about my neighbour and the unfortunate part is that she is the only one out of us (besides her son who quits and then goes back repeatedly) that smokes.
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SVG , wow 33 days , I can remember being there as well but not really able to think id be done forever . still dont some days .. still waiting on that glass of wine and smoke when I am 80 .. as so many on here talk about that smoke at 80.. but my BFF and I decided a glass of wine and a smoke when we are 80.. lol .. My BFF quit almost 17 years ago ...I have no clue how she did that during our young years .. Anyway that is great for you and your DH ... MY BF still smokes that was one of the promises if I came back he would try to stop well ya know he hasn't even given it a thought . Kudos to you both ...Ty for the advice about an anti depressant I guess I will talk to my doc again about it when I see her . I was on Lexapro and I think it helps but it makes me feel like I dont want to to do anything either and makes me eat .. and I do that enough without the pills..
Judi , I am so glad that your mammo was great in doing cartwheels ... I had a lump a while back even though I had double mastectomy and implants .. was suposed to go back and have US repeat , but never did as I was charged 180 for the sono .. and never had been charged before .. so tthat is me being stubborn and not wanting any more bills .. I recently had a bankruptcy last year as well .. I cant rack up more stuff .. anyway xoxoxoxo
April ty so much .. I love them but unfourtunaly my daughter is not speaking to me and keeping the grandkids from me because I am back here with BF .. so I miss them and just see them on the face book.. I think life and kids these days have changed significantly.. nothing I can do .. I feel like nothing I do is good enough for her .. But I just pray and do the next best thing . I think that this is also adding to my depression .. I feel very alone .. and then no job or car tops it off ..
Minus ... you are just like my BFF she just quit wihout a reason.. thats amazing .. xoxoxo I have always looked up to you and Judi .. xoxoxox\
Bosom where are you ??
Maybe I need therapy again . I feel like that does not help me at all.. I have another interview today . I guess I am gettting them now because all jobs are seasonal . its with a fuel company .. taking orders and dispatching trucks ... we shall see .. then I have the dreded Dentist appt .. at 3 I am getting my last wisdom tooth out that has been hurtig . I am a real baby hate the dentist .. I am such a baby they put me in the phobia clinic .. lol I am already paniced and have had dreams all night .. yuck yuk .. then tomorrow is FED EX at 5:30 am.. interview .. of course I have to watch a load before they let you do application and interview .. I guess so you know if its something you wanna do ir not ...
XOXOXOX
I have spoken perhaps too much .. I love you all so much .. My support .. my friends
Have a blessed day
Lisamarie
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Oh I did have a reason to quit smoking, just not BC. I was diagnosed w/severe osteopenia and was paranoid about an eventual broken hip, warehoused in a nursing home, stuck & dying there. Smoking is a major contributor to bone problems, as are coca colas, and I was drinking at least 8 a day. Also walking strengthens the bones & I was doing NONE of that. So I quit the first two and started walking. All went well until my BC recurrence when I couldn't get down anything but cokes during chemo. I'm back down to 3 cokes a day now but need to gear up to quit those again. And I haven't done any walking since all the last BC treatments. Back where I started w/the bones so need to start over.
SVG - I see the dilemma too. When my Dad was 90-96, I was constantly admonished by people that his diet was bad - he needed to eat more vegetables & stop eating candy. He was mostly healthy and still walked every day. I'd already had to take away his driver's license. Who was I to remove the last few remaining pleasures. I honestly don't know what to recommend with your Mom - healthy vs. happy. I don't think COPD is reversible, but maybe the cough would get some better if she quit? She's young enough that maybe your example will be good. Or could you get her to cut down by telling her it's hard for you if she smokes around you?
LisaMarie - I hate the dentist too. I'd almost rather have chemo again!!! Hope it goes OK. Good luck w'/interview today and fingers crossed for FedEx. You definitely don't want an anti-depressant that makes you lethargic. Is there something to take in a much smaller dose just to take the edge off?
Bosum - so glad to hear everything is going well w/your son. What a nightmare that must have been. And then the stupid ex-DH pulled his tricks too. Bless you girl, but I don't believe some higher power sets out to punish us (Job aside). And I surely don't think any of us did anything to cause our own BC. Some people get it & others don't - with the same conditions, genetic & otherwise.
NO GUILT ladies. It weighs us down too much so we can't move forward the see the light at the end of the tunnel. (and no - I'm not talking about an oncoming train). You all know I'm not a Pollyanna who thinks everything is wonderful, but I do believe we have to try to look for the positive things & work towards something better. OK - now I'm off my soapbox.
CBWitt - thinking of you.
Just for today, I guess I won't smoke.
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LisaMarie, fingers and toes crossed on your interview(s). Hope there is only one and you are successful. Remember, you are a strong, independent woman. As far as the dentist goes, relax and think of something nice while h/she is working on the tooth. Remember, ask for numbing gel before the needle - it hurts less. Bosum, my heart just breaks for you. I'm very much like you and wish that something good happens to the other person and bad for me. But in all honesty, the big Guy up there decides it all for us. So happy to hear your ds is doing well. DH just told me yesterday about a friend's daughter who has tried 2x to commit suicide. Wow, I couldn't live if your's or his shoes. MT, you are do right, there is a light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes that friggin tunnel is real long. LisaMarie, MT and anyone else who wants to jump on board - smoke and a drink at 80 - WTH might as well as both vices!
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Good Morning Ladies , I know it is early byt yesterday wwas a big day . I had an interview I went to the dentsist got my wisdom tooth out .. and I got a call from UPS .. I got the job ... I am so darn excited ... I know its seasonal but this may be a chance in the door of the company .. I am excited to say all my prayers and complaining paid off .. now maybe I will be able to fix my truck ... I hope you all have a great day xoxoxox
"Just for today I will not smoke "
Lisamarie.
P.S and I am so ahppy I am not smoking because I will be there 5 hours today for orientation and I will not need a break to smoke .. Today I am blessed ..
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YAY LisaMarie!!!!!! You go girl! High five and huge congrats on the job. I knew you would get it. As for your daughter, she needs to walk a mile in your shoes instead of judging you but you know how stubborn some kids can be at times. I am sure she will come around. Hugs sweetie!
SVG, High five to you too! 33 days without a cig is an eternity in that world for sure. I too started at 13 and smoked until I was 57!
Bosum - just sending hugs for whatever you deleted in that post that I could not see. Must have been something heavy for you from the comments.
Judi, we are most DEFINITELY having that drink and smoke when we turn 80 but we have to wait for our young'un to catch up before we can do that. (LisaMarie of course) so it will be a while...lol
MT, you are right....Gloria had an influence on me I suspect so I was sort of a militant feminist around certain issues. When my daughter got her first car, I bought her a bumper sticker for it. It simply said "Eve Was Framed" At first, she didn't get it cause she never really experienced too much in the way of discrimination as a woman and then I sat her down and "schooled" her about that. She actually wrote a paper about that bumper sticker and discrimination when she was in College. She named the paper "Eve was Framed" LOL...she got an A! It was for a Business Ethics class in her Philosophy major (she had a double major) and it was a great class she said. She learned all about the real meaning of discrimination and how women were not even allowed to go to college or own property or vote back in Susan B. Anthony's day.
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LisaMarie, many congrats to you on your success. See, we keep telling you that you are a strong, independent and wonderful woman. Now you own "success"! April, LisaMarie will have to tell us how many years younger then us and hence the wait time. My big "60" is 10/11/15!
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LisaMarie WOO HOO!!!! And training starts immediately. Great news.
As for the age of 80 - I thought you all got to have a smoke when I turned 80 and came back East to see everyone. That's only 9 years for those of you who want to hurry the time.
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MT, are you coming East for our "smoke pow wow"?
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Well sure - but that still gives me a lot of time to plan the trip - 2024. Next year I'm going to try to catch up on the trips I've been promising to make for 5 years. So in 2016 - to Hawaii in January so see my "other son" & wife, and also my nephew & their new baby. In March I'll go to San Francisco to see my son & their "new" house (1925), and also the lady who took care of my Mother for 12 years and then my Dad for 3 more. In April I'll go to Phoenix to see my brother who moved there 6 or 7 years ago, and he & I will spend one night at the Grand Canyon. Then I'll come home & crash and spend the rest of the year reading in my recliner. Or find another part time job.
All of these trips are courtesy of not smoking. First of all, how would I make an 8 hour trip to HI w/o smoking. No way. Second - I've got all the money I've saved by not smoking for 8 years. Third - I couldn't stay with any of these people if I still smoked, so I'd have hotel expenses. All were planned before my cancer came back, so darn it, I deserve to go.
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Well MT, you deserve these trips and so much more. Good for you for saving the money. I never did as there was always something I wanted. We'll plan a convenient place for all to meet! Off to exercise so talk later.
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Hi there. Stopping by to check in. I am 3 1/2 years since quitting and 1 year since the cig I smoked when my Mom died. I am doing well. Still just working part time at the zoo. Want to encourage those trying to quit that it is possible. I really never thought I would....honestly. Love you all.
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Hi April .. Thanks for all the wonderful things you have said .I sure do hope she comes along someday .being away from my grandchildren makes me feel punished and like i have the plauge .. it hurts so much...My BFF said that she does not understand why I hurt myself over and over .. she said you hurt yourself with drugs, alcohol, and men . I honestly don't know why .. well after bieng friends since we are 15 she is not speaking to me either .. so I just say oh well .. I am working on me now.. I haven't touched drugs in a very very long time .. and as you know alcohol its been over a year as well as the smokes ... but since I am doing all the right things and not harming anyone why do they constsantly judge me .. it hurts .. her husband cheated on her and left her for the other woman for 3 yeard and ahe she took him back .. but I dont judge .. anyway it is what it is .. I am not stressing any longer ..
Judi ... you always make me smile .
i don't know anyone age here really but I will turn 47 on December 29 2015.. and please dont wait for me because I wont be 80 until 12/29/2048 and that is too long for you all to wait .. not sure I will make it that long ..lol ... I love you all .. I would also love to meet everyone .. we should figure out a way to do a fundraiser and have a weekend retreat at some spa or something for all of us .. that would be amazing .. I for one def want to meet you all ... xoxoxMinus I did the orientation for UPS . now I got a number to call every morning to see if there is work in my district .. today there was none and they say call Monday .. still excited and hope to get on with the company after season is over .. I was a glad in a way because yesteerday I went to Manhatten with my brother because he had eye surgery .. so I am able to continue to nurse him today ... Enjy your trips my friend they are well deserved.. xoxoxo
Suersis, I am so sorry about the mets to your lungs , but on a happy note , I am so glad that you can breathe easier and are able to take the dog for walks ,, and yes quitiing is a B.... but we have all been there and in your time .. you will stop .. just know there is so much support and love here on this board .. I tried so long .. Ive been on this board over 3 years now and finally got a little over a year put together .. it's not easy but never give up the hope .. Big Hugs to you
Beckers.. WOW so happy to see you ... the zoo sounds amazing and so do you .. miss you and thanks for stopping by .. xoxoox
Bosom, I know you are there please send me and im if you need .. Big Hugs ... xoxoxox
LisaMarie
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LOL Bosum...that is what I do for a living...give those crappy job search workshops and test people...yup, we tell those with a degree they can leave after the presentation portion. HA! Love that you called it crappy. A different perspective is always welcome to someone who can vouch for the fact that we get bored doing it over and over again sometimes. Perhaps that person needs to hand it off to someone who is more enthusiastic! Once I began switching it off with my co worker, I was re-energized!
LisaMarie, you don't need anyone judging you. We all do enough of that on our own. If your friend is dissin you, to hell with her! You deserve only friends that respect you! xoxo And, since you and I live in neighboring states, we will absolutely get together one day in the near future! xoxo
Hi everyone else and HEY BECKERS! xoxoxo don't be such a stranger!
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Oh gee ladies, I will come back East before I'm 80 to meet you all. Not 2016 since all trips are West, but the Carolina's are on my bucket list. So what's quick jaunt up to NY?
LisaMarie - good news about the UPS plan. But keep looking too until you're actually at work. You may get something even better at FedEx, or.... April's right - we don't like how you BF treats you, but we love you so we would never jump on your case for doing the best you can.
Bosum - and we're cheering for you too. Funny April is teaching the same kind of class. Too bad she isn't teaching yours!! I bet it would be a lot more fun. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Hope your Mother continues to improve.
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Beckers - so glad to see you. When you have time, I'd love to hear more about what you do at the zoo. What fun!!! I thought about volunteering at our zoo, but it's a long way across town from where I live.
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So good to see old friends :-). The zoo....well, I work three days a week on the small animal crew. We are zookeepers and on my crew we clean, prepare food, feed, and provide enrichment (entertainment) for: hyenas, bobcat, serval, tortoise, skunks, raccoons, snakes, cockatoos, macaws, capuchins, baboons, chimpanzees, Tigers and a few other animals. It is such hard work but has been very healing, as well as good physical activity.
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Suersis . oh okay I understand now .. Are you asking me if I live in Kansas ? or is it your friend that lives in kansas. I live in crazy A** Long Island NY and I hate it .. It is so expensive here .. in hte news Long Island was rated one of the most expensive places to live in the united states .. crazy huh .. anyway glad you have been off the smokes since January that is awesome ..
Beckers... I love the animals , that job would def bring much joy to my life .. xoxoxox your one lucky gal
Lisamarie
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Suersis - Congrats on the quit. Looks like it's almost a year.
Beckers - What an interesting job. I LOVE the cute little cub.
Well what shall I do for excitement today? Rainy day so I guess I'll change the sheets & wash the clothes. Tomorrow I get to see my first girl cousin and her daughter from AZ. This will be the third visit this year after not spending any time with each other for 50 years. The occasion isn't good (her grown daughter is at MD Anderson for a determined cancer) but it's been great to reconnect & share memories of our parents & grandparents.
Oh - and just for today i will not smoke.
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Hey Beckers, good to see your still kicking around. Glad that you have found your calling so to speak. The animals are cute but it takes a certain type of person to work with them. I'M NOT ONE OF THEM. I like to look at them through bars but good to see that they have someone caring for them who won't hurt them. MT, it rained her too and I also did the sheets and changed the bed. I was getting a little lazy because we had new windows put in and anticipating our Florida experience. But now I'll change the bedding just before we go. But I vacuumed the house and dusted. It's about time. This retirement thing is great .... don't get around to it there's always another day. Before, weekends were my shopping/cleaning time. Bosum, don't despair. Sometimes patience is a virtue and you may pick up something that you might not have before. LisaMarie, I didn't know that info about Long Island. I always wonder how people can afford living or homes that are so expensive, I watch HGTV and see housing prices in the States and it blows my mind. It probably is the same here but for me, I can't afford it. Not saying that a lot of people can but do what they can do. LisaMarie, how is the job training going?
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Hi everyone ,,, i trained one day mainly saftey stuff .. now I just call daily to see ifg there is work .. I dont think ill be around to do it .. I feel like there is nothing left here in life for me ... honestly at the end of my rope .... i think ill be commiting myself to a pych ward ...
Lisamarie
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Oh LisaMarie, please don't do that! Sit back and regroup and figure things out. Bosum, have you looked into IMS - it was developed at Havard Univeryity. My physio guy said it is great for the back. Trust me, I used it on my hand - I couldn't even shower or wipe myself. Worked wonders in a few weeks. Please looked into it!
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LisaMarie - I'll jump in too and say don't give up. Yesterday was a horrible, dreary, rainy day & I just sat and cried. Never even took off my jammies. Yup - even I get depressed. Today the sun was out and I had to take my cousin and her 40 year old daughter to lunch. They were in town from Phoenix for an MD Anderson consult & more tests. By the end of the day I am renewed & so grateful for what I have. Hang in there girl.
Bosum - Let us know if you do decide to try to patch. We'll be clapping & yelling so loud you'll be embarrassed by the cheering section.
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Thanks everyone . I hope you all know im not going to smoke because that is not going to change anything . I am having a difficult time dealing with life I guess and the darn BF doesn't make it any easier .. I called UPS no work today maybe tomorrow ..
the work would help .. it would also help if I can get my truck fixed .. I hate not having transportstion ,.. I spoke to my mom last night .. I think also not being able to be around my grandkids is killing me .. I mean for the last 5 years brianna the oldest was my ray of sunshine and hope when I needed it most .. oh well I cannot make my kids talk to me or spend time with me ,,, they really do not realize that life is too short .. I have a DR appt at 10:30 am so I will tell her my feelings .. maybe its just the grief of my son creeping up .. I really just pushed it down since he passed ... I keep wanting to call him or see him then reality hits .. well again just rambling ... Ill see you ladies later ... Minus im so happy the sun came out for you .... I did ride the bike saturday to the library ... it seems nature and crisp air can lift me up a bit
xoxoxox
Lisamarie
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Lisamarie, sometimes it's best just to extend the "olive branch" to your kids. Sure your BF may not even be your first choice but your "survival instincts" kicked in. Just tell her what your feeling. I am a firm believer that "honesty is the best policy". Remember, you are grieving and so is your family. You need to let your daughter know your feelings. I'll post something later that may help you. I'll have to see where I put it but I think you need it today. Remember, your BF knows what your like and no matter how hard we try, we allow people to treat us the way we do because they don't know anything different. Regroup and figure out what LisaMarie really wants!
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Happy Monday everyone. Just swinging by to give a smoking update & to say hey.
This Weds. I'll be 6 weeks quit, but boy did I have a few close calls recently.
Had my first truly jam-packed/stressful day at work (since starting chemo & quitting smoking) late last week. I was craving all day long. Then on Friday afternoon for no reason my right leg just collapses of fatigue in front of co-workers and I fall on the ground. Co-workers were super concerned while I just made up some nonsense about how "my shoe is broken." That made me so sad, which of course made me want a cig.
To top it off, my DH - who'd stayed smoke-free for 7 days caved this weekend. Bummed 1 off someone on Saturday, and went out and bought a pack yesterday. Something about him falling off the wagon made me feel very vulnerable to doing the same.
Despite it all I haven't had a puff....
.....and I won't,
but I still wish I could.
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Clap, clap SVG .... don't cave. Very easy to do and we have all done it. But then the remorse sets in. Watch dh and see what he says. Those first few ciggies are "heaven sent" and then you start criticizing yourself. Not worth it. Your strong!
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Oh MT, I am so sorry that you have a relative that needs MD Anderson for cancer treatment and if she is your first cousin's DD, that must mean she is youngish....so sorry hon. I hope it is early stage whatever it is. Hugs
LisaMarie, some days look so much worse than others. I know you will feel better soon and hopefully you will get some hours! If not, keep looking cause they can't expect you to wait around all of the time! xoxo
Beckers! What wonderful photos!! I would love love that job! Enjoy it!!
Bosum, you know we are rooting for you! It doesn't matter how many times you start, it is how you finish (or something along that line..lol)
Judi, you always make me smile...yup, the first cig is heaven sent and then...fuggedaboudit! You start beatin yourself up for going back after being off for a long while. I know I did anyway.
SVG, I know exactly how you feel as hubby did that too at first but then he finally quit too! It is two years for him this week actually! YAY!!
Suersis, I actually got your obscure reference to Kansas. LOL
Gotta run...xo
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