Stop Smoking Support Thread
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Beautiful card Judi, especially the words of encouragement and hope! Merry Christmas to all. I just want to thank you all for the friendship and support that you all have extended to me. I appreciate every one of you. Have a wonderful day!
Shar
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Thanks Sharsand. I too thought this was beautiful!
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April, I had a brother at age 21 (1977) with ALS and he decided to do a tracheotomy. He was able to live an additional 6 months. He was as alert as anyone and wanted to spend a little more time with us. It did require around the clock care which we were fortunate that I was able to delay going back to college one semester and attended a local junior college. My Mom was able to take a leave of absence from her job at the hospital lab and we were able to care for him. When things got too hard the last month of his life he agreed to go to a hospital. He was only able to talk for a very short time then went on full time ventilation. We still were able to communicate because he could whisper with enough volume to hear and then we got pretty good at reading lips. There were times of frustration when we could not understand a request but we managed. I am so grateful we got the additional time with him. Weacquired several new memories to cherish. It was hard but it was what he wanted and we were glad we could help him get his wants fulfilled.
I had another brother get diagnosed with ALS when he was 26 (1986) and he chose to not extend his life with a tracheotomy. He had been bedridden by the time the disease started to effect his respiratory system. You have to let the patient decide just like we as cancer patients had the right to chose chemo or not, for example.
I hope you get an extended time to visit and share with your dear friend. I will pray for you for peace and strength to get through this time. You gave me a lot to think back on.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
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jbdayton, thank you for sharing your (very sad) story regarding your brothers. ALS is a heartless disease and to affect someone so young is so very sad. My heart breaks for you and your family just reading that. My friend is 69 years old and I am devastated that he is too young to die. Early-mid twenties just boggles my mind!! I pray that the rest of your life is not filled with such horrendous heartache. The fact that you were diagnosed with BC really seems cruel to me in the face of what you already had to endure. It just goes to show you that life is so very random and unfair to some people. Huge hugs and may your New Year be blessed with health and happiness and that is my wish for the rest of your hopefully long life. My friend is still waiting for the surgery as there were complications so he is still on the vent and has a nasal-gastric tube for nutrition. They say he will have the tube inserted in his stomach this week and the trach done too. Hoping he makes it. The prognosis is very poor as his disease is extremely aggressive.
My Christmas was lovely albeit very strange without all of my relatives who have passed. My first one without my Daddy was tough because I loved him so very much. After Mom passed in 2012, I had him at least. Now he is gone. My brother did not even call me so it was very odd without everyone there. I did have my husband and my own children and grandchildren with me and my husband's son came with his new fiancée (so happy for them) but husband's DD was a no-show, no call and he is very hurt by this. We sent her gift with her brother and hoped she would at least call to thank him for the gift, but alas, nothing but crickets.
Love to all of you ladies. Am at work and as always, I have to run. Hope you all had a Merry Xmas or whatever you celebrate and wishing you a peaceful and most of all HEALTHY New Year! Xoxoxo
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Merry Late Christmas to you all. I am so sorry I have not been here . I cannot even remember the last time I sat here and opend the lap top .
Minus I am so happy the port is coming out .. xoxoxoxo
Bosom , I may have worded my last post wrong .. if I did I am sorry . i know in times of stress and panic the smoke was always my best friend .. somehow I have been able to overcome it . I call it my mirical .. till this day I do not know how I do it .. I think about it occasiona;lyy but never act on it . I have faith in you .. someday your mirical will come as well .. yes yes get the recon done .. who knows what the heck our government is doing anymore .. love ya to pieces
April so sad but glad that you will be able to have more time with your friend . I am sorry I dont know much about ALS .. love and hugs to you and your dear friend .
I was able to see my grandchildren for christmas daughter is better now .. family life here is ok as well.. Christmas was just the way i like it .. family before gifts .. as long as the little ones had i was happy .. I quit once again working for the housecleaning .. long story .. school called and I am calling them this am about an externiship .. that is what I would really like .. or maybe I have no idea what I would like anymore ..
I just want everyone to know I think of you all everyday .. hope everyone has the best New Year
xoxoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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Happy Christmas, and a Merry New Year to everyone. I wish everyone joy, peace, health and wealth for this next year!
FYI--I have always offered a free copy of my book as a PDF to anyone on this list, however if you would like it on your kindle (or if you know someone not on this list who would like a copy), it is available for free on Amazon until Dec. 31
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I know I'm early but I'll be busy packing and on enroute to my next destination! Wishing all of you the best in 2016!
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Back home safely. No tornadoes in my immediate area. Lots funny & crazy stories - including the 11 month old pulling down the entire tree. Thinking of all of you & will post more soon.
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Happy New Year!!! Just looking at a catalog while I ate a late snack. Did you know they still made those plastic filters pieces you can put on cigarettes? Boy, I fooled myself with those for a long time. What a pain with those nasty tars to wash.
I've saved a couple of "special" ash trays, but must think about taking them to friends who are still smoking. One is a hand made, signed, pottery piece that with a center post & a top so ashes don't blow around. I got this in Martinique with my BFF who died of pancreatic cancer in 2005 & I never used it. I guess it's time to pass it on to someone who might enjoy. Sigh. One that I can't let go yet is a heavy crystal ball about the size of a softball, open on just 1/3 of one side - again so ashes don't blow. This one was my brother's that he kept on his balcony railing in Hawaii. He's been gone since 1994. I've got thumb tacks in it now, but look up & think of him every day. And I still have one from the original Playboy Club from the early 60's. That ought to bring some money from collectors.
As you might gather, I'd dearly like a smoke tonight. I played dominoes with some neighborhood friends this afternoon & we all brought food. I'm way over-filled and that was always a trigger to walk outside & light up to settle the food. Not happening - a) since I don't have any around; but even more b) it's been 8 years, 5 months and 20 days and I KNOW I can't ever have even just one puff. So one more time - just for today & will not smoke.
Been thinking of all of you with your various holiday functions - smoking or not. Hope everyone has avoided that nasty bug going around and none of you have been effected by the awful weather. Judi's about to return to the snow. Or do you have another destination before home? April - sorry about your friend. I posted on the stage IV thread for RoseValley like you did and hope those ladies aren't too upset by our breach of protocol. She is a special lady. VJ - hope you and that neat BF are celebrating the turning of another year. LisaMarie - I'm so glad you are spending time with grandbabies. I couldn't imagine how you were even standing at the end of the day with the pace of the cleaning job. And good to hear that BF has stayed on his meds. Let us know about the externship. Bosum - I think of you every day. I know it's a really hard time for you and I hope YOU know that we are here to listen when you need to scream, cry, rant, etc. Sorry I don't live closer, but please PM if you want to 'talk'. Beckers - good luck with the zoo in the winter. Drop a note when you can. CB Witt, SVG, Suersis, anyone else who I have neglected to mention, hang in there.
Hope the new year will be good for all of us. Can't wait to hear about Judi's trip. I'm busy planning a trip to HI on 2/3 to see the son of my BFF (mentioned above - gone for 10 years now). I love Hawaii, but I dread figuring out what to pack & flying 8 hours with LE & wondering how my energy levels will last & renting a car that I won't know how to operate (my car is a 2003 w/o bells & whistles). But I've been promising him for several years and stupid BC kept interfering - so off I'll go.
So glad I've met each of you. You enrich my life.
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Happy new year to everyone.
MinusTwo, you are a total sweetheart. Proud of you for not giving in and having a new years eve puff. One day, one moment at a time....
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I will not smoke. I will not smoke.
Well ladies, my friend passed away last night. He was 69 years young (and I mean young) and will now make everyone in Heaven laugh because he was one of the funniest human beings I have ever met in my life. He was one of a kind. As Billy Joel sang "Only the good die young" because he was one of the good ones.
BTW, he was a former 3 pack a day smoker. He quit 11 years ago and was very proud of that. He had a lung infection and realized that it was crazy to smoke again after being hospitalized for two weeks and not smoking at all...so he never went back to it. Had he not been a former heavy smoker, he might have had a little longer with the ALS because the breathing issue is what did him in ....but then again, maybe not. Maybe smoking had nothing to do with it. But, alas, I will honor him and myself by not smoking even though I really want to.
Happy New Year. May you have health and love in your lives.
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April, My condolences to you and your friends family at this time . I try to live each day as if it is my last . wow and to quit after 3 packs a day that is amazing . I will pray that you and your friends family find peace . again Sorry For your Loss .
Minus I am so happy you did not smoke also ... I don't have any ashtray collections , but the ones you are using like your brothers they sound beautiful and have memories attatched of loved ones ..
Bosom , I am so happy to hear that you woke up feeling better .. keep your head high .. I love ya Girl
Cant wait to hear from Judi about Florida as well...
As for me ... I don't know where to begin . I feel like all I do in life is complain and go around in circles ... I feel lost and this is a new year 2016 . I feel I deserve respect , and love , and a peaceful, drama, stress free life . I have been through some pretty hard times last year and the few years before but last year losing my son and then my uncle ... I guess was too much in a short time . I chose not to smoke and kept that in tact . The girl I was cleaning for got the BF locked up and pressed charges for harrasment . I guess his hot headed self went outside and called her and threatend her .. so as usual I got the blame he said if I did not go back to work for this would not have happend ... hmmm, but when I went back his car gor repossed . I gave him 200 for that not much but something .. I buy all the food , do all the cleaning and cooking , got a chrustmas tree because his 11 year old son was coming .. , then the cable got shut off so I got it turned on in my name 178 .. wow if I wasnt cleaning we would have had nothing ...Anyway Ranting ... so last night he touched me and called me nasty degrading names for the last time .. I keep trying with this nasty man .. I thought the medicine was working .. I guess he was just on a good spurt .. so I feel I deserve a better life .. someone who really appreciates me ... as always I am afraid and I have no car no job and no way out of here ... I am very depressed once agin .. I need to get out of here .. I went back to church been going every sunday .. and to think I prayed for the cleaning lady and him then i was treated so bad after ..
I hope that each and every one of you have a very Happy New Year ...
sorry again for the Rant
xoxoxoxxoxo
Just for today I will not smoke .... I will be STRONG ...
Oh yeah .. I almost forgot I got the report back from the medical examiner for my son ... Eveeryone was saying he had passed from a bee sting .. well the ME report reads acute Heroin and ethanol intoxication ... I knew this and I am just glad that he is resting now and in heaven he will not suffer from that nasty addiction ... thank all you ladies for all your Love and kind words ...
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(((lisamarie))) I have no words. You have really been through hell lately. Just want you to know that I admire you and know that you are a strong woman who will come out of this even stronger. You may not have any answers to the question of "why you" when it comes to all of the shit storm you have had to weather, but we want you to know that around here, we think you are amazing and deserve so much better than you have been given lately.
As for your son's ME report, leave it be. His demons are no longer circling around him like the bee that stung him. It does not matter in the end what took him from this life. It only matters that he is missed and loved by you.
Hugs my friend. Keep the faith that goodness and sunshine are waiting for you and will find you. That man of yours is not worth a single tear you have shed. Be well sweetie.
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April - Sending my sympathy on the loss of your friend. What a feat - quitting cold turkey from a 3 pack a day habit. We should all honor him. It's hard to lose someone that young, especially since he sounds like someone who kept everyone in good spirits. Sometimes I think a good laugh is better than all the pills in the pharmacy.
LisaMarie - I am so very sorry that this stupid man has shown his true nature again. I sure didn't realize that he wasn't even working and everything you earned went into supporting him too!!! I'm glad to see you saying "enough". Did you ever try the battered women's group? Battered doesn't mean just physical violence, but also verbal & emotional abuse. The group here does a wonderful job of helping women get started again. When you're ready, maybe that's a good way to escape. Be Brave. You are so strong to have gotten through everything last year. We're here when you need to rant. Maybe you can go back to work for the cleaning lady & she'll know of an interim place you could live? You obviously do a good job and she's on your side if she filed charges. I love what April said about your son - his demons are no longer circling. Don't worry about the details of how he died. He'll know that he's loved and missed.
Bosum - You too have had one horrible year. Sounds like you're settled as far as housing for awhile? You are also a strong woman, finding a way to put one foot in front of the other every day. Hope you can dump some of the baggage and start looking forward.
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bosom , I hear you . everything is so expensive ..
Minus , I got a bus ticket yesterday to NC .. so here I go once again . I leave today on a 22 hour bus ride ..to my son .. his wife and my granddaughter .. I left everything behind .. as I am determined to get away and stay away this time . I know about the shelters here are not good .. the cops said its not a good place to go ... the cleaning lady is the one who started this whole thing .. its a long story but she pressed charges on the BF for harrasment because he called her for robbing my money tips .. whatever ..so he took it out on me called me every name in book and grabbed me again .. and wouldnt let me out of house .. but once again its all my fault . I make him angry and I do this ..so I am done it will no longer be my fault .. I need peace and no more drama .. so with a small bag of clothes in hand a backpack and my purse .. im off on Greyhound .. I will check back in l;ater and then again in NC .. xoxoxoxox
Lisamarie
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LisaMarie - wishing you a safe trip. So glad you can go to your son's. Good for the cleaning lady, standing up for you. Just remember IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! He's just an idiot. You're right, you don't need someone who flies off the handle whenever it suits his mood. Let us know when you get there. I know it's hard to start over, but this sounds like a good plan.
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april485, I'm sorry about your friend's passing.
lisamarie68, while I haven't been on this thread to know everything about your BF and your history with him, it really sounds like you should treat him just like a cancer and fight to keep yourself cancer-free.
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BosumBlues, I'm hanging in there - thanks for asking. I've had 2 cigarettes between 12/15 and now. I'm hoping that's not enough to destroy my healing or add complications. I can't imagine it would, but I'm also too chicken to offer this info. to my BS or PS. So what does that tell ya?
I won't lie to you. Some days are super easy, and some days are an emotional nightmare. 3-7 minute cravings are no big deal, but what they often don't talk about are the all day cravings that occur way past the time nicotine has left the system. It seems like you & I are similar creatures when it comes to smoking. I've thought about just getting the mastectomies now and delaying the recon just so I can smoke my way through my stress & anxiety. Then at some point I come to the conclusion that it would be way more depressing to stare at my skin flapjacks while puffing away on my cancer sticks. I love when Smart me does the thinking, not Slave me.
Sadly, I'm not sure how to control which one dominates my thoughts lately....
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Hello ladies .... I've been reading through all the posts and a lot of shit is going on. April, I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved friend. Life is not fair but I'm hoping he is at peace. Like you said, people in heaven are lucky to have this man around. LisaMarie, i'm only going to tell you this one more time .... you are a strong woman but don't realize it. Where you go is up to you but you leaving is your decision and you know it is the right decision. Remember, we teach people how to treat us and this jackass is treating you in the most undeserving way. Some guys just never get it ... you have given everything and he keeps on taking, taking and taking. Let him treat someone else that way but not you. You have come to far to allow this to happen to your beautiful soul. As far as your son goes, you've gotten your answer and it is satisfying to you. You can not find peace with this knowledge ... granted he is not with you at least you know he is at peace. Bosum, you too are strong. You are a very bright lady and seem to know how to get ahead but something is holding you back. Let the strings go and move on. You will succeed and get to where you want to go. As far as smoking goes, the damn thing never leaves you. God, I was looking at someone's smoke with such envy. I thought I would just love to hold it. We all know you can't do that .... I knew if I held it then I would taste it. It's a memory but I know that I can't look back or I just succumb. Ladies, 2016 is our year ... let's get ourselves up and give ourselves a big cheer. We deserve it!
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Bosum - yes I did throw myself out of the house & walk, but to be totally clear, I had to give up my morning coffee for awhile since it was a serious trigger. Not to mention my evening glass of wine. Fortunately I can now do both again - but I never really got back into coffee w/o smokes. So I quit planning my day & making lists, and quit dusting, and quit worrying (ha ha ha - except I really did quit dusting)
SVG - way to go girl. Yes, it's REALLY a bitch. Wish we could help you through this darn "wishing & hoping & thinking & praying" (or did I get the sequence wrong?) (or does anyone else remember Dionne Warwick?) Wish the world was different & I could smoke. Sigh.
So - I quit smoking because my bone density numbers were going down past osteopenia. One of my nightmares was being put in a nursing home with a broken hip. Smoking destroys bone, as do cokes. I quit both - and they were both unbelievably hard. I started weight bearing exercises & walking & working out, etc. I was soooooo healthy & brought my bone numbers right back to normal over 3 years. Then BC. Stopped walking & working out, but even more, the chemo did a number on my bones. Just found out today from my last DEXA scan that I need to do Prolia shots. Chit. I really didn't want to do that because of the jaw side effects. But I still don't want to end up in a nursing home with a broken hip. So I guess I can't start smoking again either. Sorry to rant. Just disgusted.
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Hi Ladies , I am now in North Carolina .. whew what a long long bus ride .. I did manage to find a gentleman that was elderly and had a stroke and only use of one side and helped him most of the trip to keep myself occupied. and I am a helper ... and love caring for people .. My son was so excited to see me . I have been playing with my 2 year old granddaughter isabella .. so much fun since I got here . Today I am going to the OB appointment with my daughter and hear the new editions heart beat as she is due next month ..also looking for jobs with my daughter in law...
Bosom , I am sorry I should have contacted you then maybe i could have stopped in new jersey and hung out then got on another bus to travel the rest of the way , I did however think of you while passing by on the bus ... Hugs xoxoxo
SVG, I hope everything goes all well for you ... You seem to be doing well .. keep up the good work .. I would not smoke just to sit there and not be able to get the recon ... you seem stronger than that .. hugs to you ..
Judy , I know you all must be so tired of me and the craziness moving in and out and going back all the time .. I dont know how they pull you in .. and I keep going back but for now im safe in NC with my kids ...
Minus , Thanks for all the kind words .. but actually the cleaning lady is the same mentality as the BF .. they both act a like and want to hurt you in any way that they can just make themselves feel superior .. but I am grateful to be away from them both ..
xoxoxoxoxxxo
Lisamarie
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LisaMarie - Hooray, you're safe. Sorry for the mis-conception & poo on the cleaning lady. Hopefully they are both behind you.
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LisaMarie, don't you fret at all. I would say that most of us have been there and definitely I have been there. God, I loved this man once that I just didn't see what a piece of work he was. A wise lady told me to "hold my head high and keep moving on". Finally, it clicked for me and I did. I'm so happy for you and I truly hope you find peace!
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Judi - that is beautiful Hope you don't mind but I copied it for my friend who's husband died just a year ago. She is having a really rough month.
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MT, thanks and feel free to copy. I too thought it was beautiful and downloaded it!
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LisaMarie, I have been thinking of you and hope you are finding inner peace! I'm posting these pics for you!
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The pic above is for all of us! It can be applied to people and/or cancer. Both can be toxic!
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Judi and Minus thank you . I have not been sad since im gone . I guess my 2 year old granddaughter is keeping my mind occupied .. bed time has been the most hard time for me ... as my mind races at that time .. I just became sick with a sore throat .. so im kinda under the weather .. I do have a job interview at a nursing home tomorrow .. so we shall see .. I am just trying to rebuild my life one day at a time .. xoxoxoxox Hugs to all of you ..
xoxoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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LisaMarie, sorry to hear that you are under the weather but glad to hear that other things are good. Keep your head up high, girl. Yes, bed time is when our mind goes into overload but remember your mantra.
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