Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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There was a fire close to Idylwild which is close to me and I have friends who have cabins up there. Two were evacuated but luckily the fires when the other way. But our air has been full of smoke. Really sad. It was just some guy who was throwing flares into the trees.
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Hi girls , Honeybaw great too see you still there .. for me the chantix is a god send , I would not be able to do it without ... I ddint hae any side effects really just some vivid dreams ... but everyone is different and if i tried to smoke on chantix it tastes really bad and i get very nauseated .. Other than that ... My surgery is scheduled September 17th ... My doc said that I should not be bleeding after almost 2 years of not so that is why .. anyway ill talk more later xoxoxo
Lisa marie
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Hey everyone I thought I would check in with you all. I love hearing your success stories and cheering on those who are struggling. As I sit here thinking about all of us beautiful souls that are in various stages of quitting it hits me just how strong we are. There are days that I want to smoke so stinkin bad but somehow I find the strength to make it through yet another day. I am still on the wagon by the grace of God and pure will power! My quit date was 6/21/18. I am still using my ecigs without nicotine. They somewhat satisfy my need for the hand to mouth action. I like testing new flavors. Anyway they have worked for me but I am finding myself using them less and less. I found out my job stress puts me right up there over the edge sometimes and when I have appointments too.
Another one of the benefits of not smoking besides being able to smell everything is that I can see that my complexion/skin on my face looks better! Bonus. : )
My surgery is on Wednesday, August 8. I am having a lumpectomy and he will take a couple of lymph nodes too. Wish me luck, say a little prayer, send some good vibes, whichever fits you.
Lisamarie- You will feel so much better after your hysto. I know I did. No more bleeding or pain. Plus no more pap tests or concerns about cancer there. I went back to work one week after mine. The first week I did half days. Mine was done with the robot.
Carol
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CarolAnnie - WOW, congrats. That's more than a month. I expect you know the exact number of days & maybe the hours. I sure did at that point. You'll definitely be in our thoughts Wednesday. Are you expecting out-patient surgery? Remember - even if you're feeling pretty good - just because you can doesn't mean you should.
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Thanks Minus. Yes, I am having out-patient surgery. The hospital is approximately 1 hour away in Kalamazoo (yes, it's a real place) so we will leave home at 5 am to be there by 6 am. My surgery is at 8am. I am very thankful to be first thing in the morning so I can get it over with early in the day and not have to stress about it all day. My husband will drive me, our daughter will be meeting us there at 6. My dad and sister are also coming around 7:30. I made up some fun t-shirts for my support team to wear that day to make it a little more fun for them and to show my appreciation for their support. I am planning on coming home and sleeping until my oldest daughter brings my mom over after she gets out of work. I have no idea what to expect. haha, I guess we will just wing it.
I don't think I have cried this much in my entire life before. My emotions are so close to the surface right now I cry at the drop of a hat. I've learned my capacity for stress is decreased even though I am still strong and confident, I can still perform and function, I just might cry the entire time while I am doing it. Or I am avoiding stressful things that I know I can put off. It makes me wonder if this is from quitting smoking or the cancer. I definitely get tired more easily. I am hoping my emotions will improve after I have a treatment plan know what exactly I am facing.
I am a little anxious about the results of the lymph nodes. The MRI showed they look normal so that is a plus. I know I will need radiation treatments and I can take those in Battle Creek which is only about a 20 minute drive for me. If I need chemo we will do chemo.
You'll be seeing more of me now that I will have a little time off work. Sending you all my best.
Carol
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Carol Annie - Wow you have a real cheer leading team. Fun idea about the T-shirts.
Have you joined any of the other threads on BCO? I found so much relief in talking with women who were going through the same things at the same time. As for the emotions - I expect it's some of both. The first time I quit smoking, I sat on the sofa and cried for much of the 2 years I was smoke free. But getting through cancer is no picnic either. My advice is to go ahead & cry. Yes, the cancer diagnosis & emotions do get easier to handle once you have a treatment plan.
Once you're done, take it easy. Usually no lifting and no raising your arms over shoulder height. Make sure you have specific instructions from your BS since they are all different. One useful thing someone told me, you can use Kotex pads & later Lite Day Panty liners inside your surgical bra instead of bandaging.
Only one more day to wait. Fingers crossed & holding you in my thoughts. Let us know when you can.
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Best wishes on your surgery Carol. One thing I wish I had on my post op instructions was that after you remove the bandages and the bra they may give you, please be sure to wear a bra with plenty of support, like a high impact sports bra. I made the mistake of not wearing enough support and swelled up 3 weeks post op. This was the only pain I had. I was doing too much (like shaking out and folding laundry, and other stuff) before I was completely healed in there and the fluid just went right to the tumor site. I got it down with compression thank goodness but it took time.
Bought a pack this morning at 5am after took my step father in law to dialysis treatment. Last week I drank water instead of coffee and that worked. I'm still jumpin' hurdles everyday and this is a new one. I shouldn't have had that coffee so early---water, water, water!! eh Anyway, since I bought some I left them at home so to not carry them with me. I can go all day without and I've been. When I get home I will give them to my spouse and tell him to put them somewhere out of my sight and try again tomorrow to have a smoke free day.
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Carol, prayers, positive thoughts for tomorrow! Like Minus said once you know the details and have a plan in place, it gets better. I have been having emotions all over the place, too. So might be part of quitting smoking.
Ctm, you are doing good! Identifying triggers is half the battle, I think. One day at a time, you'll get there!
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Just for today, I will not smoke. I've been working with that sentence for 11 years now. So it's always one day at a time.
Will I smoke tomorrow? Not planning on it. Hope not. But I will always be a smoker. Just one who is not smoking.
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Hope all goes well carol on your surgery ... xoxoxo and great job on the quit ... hope everyone is well ..miss you all very much .. still not smoking ... life is good .. stressed about hysterectomy .. but then hey I will have time in bed to write to you all .... love and hugs
lisa
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CarolAnnie - Here's hoping everything went well today. And that you're sleeping peacefully. Let us know when you can.
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Thank you all so much for your well wishes. My surgery went well. I was surprised by how much of an ordeal the whole thing was with all the steps involved. First they put in my iv, then they shot dye in my nipple. A hour or so later they took me back for ultrasound, more dye in the tumor, and a wire to guide the surgeon. The radiologist that put the dye and wire in was such a soft spoken sincere person, the way she explained that she would be waiting for my surgeon to bring the tumor/tissue to her and she would xray it and make sure it matched the pictures they had just taken to make sure he got it all...made me cry. haha, there I go with the crying again. He only took one lymph node and said it looked normal. He went back in to take a little more margin after he had met with the radiologist. I am grateful to have the cancer removed now and to have been in such good hands at the hospital.
Yesterday, I couldn't keep anything down. Even water came right back up. Later in the evening my stomach felt better and I was able to eat a little bit. Our dear friends brought over a pan of scalloped potatoes with ham and some blueberry muffins. Yum. I assume the nausea was from the anesthetic. This morning I had a breakfast sandwich and a glass of juice. So far so good.
Hubby and I pulled off the bandage yesterday to have a look as instructed, the incisions look good. It sure is sore. I am afraid to take the norco because I don't want to be sick to my stomach again. Last night I took aleve. It seemed to work well.
I am getting ready to go take a nice warm shower and put on some comfy clothes. Kids are coming over tonight with the baby, I am looking forward to that.
I won't be smoking today. It's a good feeling.
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Ladies
Carol glad to know your surgery went well. I barely remember mine everything happened so fast from dx to mx .
So I feel off the wagon big time this week , buried by father this week which brought up so much raw emotions and my dumb ass always thinks I have to be so tough and can handle things , so theirs that excuse. Anyway back on the wagon and trying harder to not let it all get to me.
He had been sick for so long and well lets be honest not a real good father figure but did try hard in his late years to make up for all the bad.............so me being me thinking I had this all under control and could handle things fell on my face
Hope all is going well, even if you fall get back up and try again tomorrow.
Huggs to you all
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CarolAnnie - thanks for the surgery report. Yes, I expect the nausea was the anesthesia. Remember - JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD. Lots of things inside need to heal. Congrats on making it another day.
Honey - so sorry to hear about your Dad. Somehow no matter the past or the circumstances in the last few years, it's still our parent. My mother spent her last 12 years as a vegetable and that body in the bed was not my Mother. I had long since said my good byes, but it still hurt when she finally died. I didn't even get serious about quitting until several months after my Dad died - two years after my Mom. Don't worry about falling off the wagon. You'll quit again when you're ready.
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Carolanne , glad all went well with your surgery and you are feeling better ,xoxo sending healing hugs to you ...
Honey, don't ever think you are weak .. I had almost 3 years without the darn things .. moved to vegas and boom was smoking in no time .. but now im back off them and grateful ... your never alone here ..sorry about your dad ..xoxo
as for me not much to report , just stressed with my moms health and her boyfriend is such a jerk >>>> other than that I am working and awaiting the hysterectomy ...
Love to you all ...
Lisamarie xoxoxoxo
No smokes for me ...
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CarolAnnie - how's the recovery coming? Let us know when you get a chance.
LisaMarie - thanks for checking in. I get worried if I don't see you for awhile. I think you are amazing for quitting again when your Mom and her jerk boyfriend both smoke.
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Minus, I think more than anything is the fact that I see my mom struggling to breathe everyday and it breaks my heart ... I was crying yesterday as the doc wanted her to go into hospital because her oxygen level was 75 ... then with oxygen 93 .. but she wont go because the BF is wrse than her and she is an RN and thinks she needs to take care of the A**hole ... it is so frustrating .... I miss ya ... I sure hope one day we meet ..
xoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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YES WE WILL!!! Thought I was going to get to Las Vegas in October, but I don't think it's going to happen. Remember - a bunch of us from here have a reunion planned down the road. We'll have to somehow round up those who have dropped off the boards - Judi & April & etc. I will not forget.
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Today was my one week checkup and he had the pathology report! Margins are clear and the one lymph node also is clear. YAY! I found out that I had some DCIS in there too. It all must have been in the same lump. Dr. said that it was not uncommon so I guess I won't overthink it too much. Do I get a stage when I go to the oncologist? Feeling very blessed it hadn't moved to my lymph nodes. Healing up nicely. Trying not to overdo it but it's hard.
Lisamarie, my heart goes out to you. The aging parent struggle is awful. Hang in there. Proud of you for quitting again. You are a tough cookie.
Carol
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So I made it thru my 65th birthday without smoking!!! One of my daughters said tonight I want you to know how nice it is to come to the house and not smell smoke, and when we pick up C... that he doesn't smell like cigarettes. OK, is it normal for me to kinda resent this? Because my reaction was uh huh, well I still want one and I make no promises!! Esp since L..... other daughter smoked last night ( she only smokes when she drinks) i told them I think I'll start drinking!! The first daughter used to smoke but quit (went thru the only smoking when she drank routine until she realized that wouldn't work! They all encouraged me to quit. I don't know if it just hit me wrong or if my emotions are all over the place but I still want a cigarette! Ugh School has started back up, too. Adjusting to new schedule with watching a 1 yr GS, getting to know his routine, maybe it's a little bit of everything. I just hope I adjust to all the new stressors so I don't cave in. But it was hard today I kept thinking, it's my 65th birthday I can smoke if I want to!!! The devil was talking up a storm!! Sorry if I am rambling, still stressed! Need to get to bed, early morning tomorrow!
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Belle - hold on girl. It's absolutely normal. Seems like 'just one' would be a treat, a present, a prize, a reward... Hang in there. The 'one' isn't worth the risk of starting all over. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Tell your daughters to go jump in the creek or stick their heads in the sand (putting it nicely). Especially if you're taking care of your GS for them. You're doing great. And tell you 2nd daughter she can't smoke around you for now. It's the LEAST she could do. It was as LEAST a year before I could sit quietly around other smokers & not climb up a wall.
At some point many pages ago, a bunch of us decided to defer our smoking "rewards" at individual celebrations to one, big, party down the road. Somehow that ended up with a proposal that I'd travel east for my 80th B-day and the whole group would stand in a circle and each have "just one puff" of one cigarette for 10 or 15 of us. Of course one puff is a dream, since with that I'd be off & away & smoking again. But it certainly gave me a goal. However - since I'm only 74 next week, (note that only) maybe another 6 years is too long? Oh well, it's a goal and far enough out there that I was able to convince myself.
It's reasonable to assume I'll make this trip since I've already traveled to meet BCO friends in Boston & Phoenix & San Francisco - in addition to my home state.
Note - I'm still going to some kind of exercise class at least 5 days a week. That was one of my quitting tricks - get moving. It worked for me.
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CarolAnnie - Oh what good news - clean margins. Yes, the oncologist (MO or RO for radiation oncologist) should be able to answer all your questions. Do write them down so you don't forget any.
Remember - STOP - Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Lots of healing going on inside. Don't lift anything heavier than 1/2 gallon of milk, don't raise your arms above the shoulders and take naps. The very hardest thing for me was to say "no" to all the things people wanted me to do/see/share. I turned off my phone's ringer and put a note on the door not to ring the door bell.
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Bell
I think its totally normal, pisses me off when my kids tell me what to do, I don't tell them to quit drinking and yea I know its bad for me I don't need someone that I use to wipe there ass lecturing me.
It makes me so mad and that could be part of why its been hard for me to quit Im horrible stubborn and my kids, Dr, job, insurance all punish us for being smokers , yet insurance companies do not charge drinkers more or really over weight people more but smokers are punished and lectured at every turn .........Anyway yes its a dirty nasty horrible habit that is really bad for you I think we all know that, we don't need to be lectured........I just keep telling myself Im doing this for me
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I can remember my son at age 7 & 8 coming home from elementary school in tears that I was going to die because I smoked. And boy did that piss me off. He's 48 now and never smoked. But he had enough humanity in his 30s to understand the stress when my parents (who also never smoked) gave me grief about EVERYTHING and pulled his car over every time we left their house so I could get out and have a smoke. To this day he keeps a heavy jacket in his closet that we still call my smoking jacket - quilted & waterproof with a hood. It lived at my parent's garage before they died, and then I used to wear it when I visited him and went outside to smoke. Last time I was there he actually asked me if I was ready for him to give it to the Salvation Army. Not...since it's a good heavy jacket & I don't have to pack one on the plane.
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Thanks Honey and Minus, you both get it! My daughter I think was trying to compliment/ encourage me to continue to not smoke. But it sure hit the wrong chord with me that day. She used to smoke but hasn't smoked for about a year.
I quit for myself I went on vacation last year and I spent most of the time worrying about when and where I would smoke!!! I decided then I didn't want to spend the rest of my time here on planet earth a slave to my addiction.
But easier said than done, right? I quit when I went on vacation this year with my son and his family to Ireland and London. I used Chantix and thank goodness I did. I swear I have never seen so many smokers as I did in Ireland, everywhere you looked someone was smoking!! Clearly there is no stigma about smoking as there is in the states. We were gone 17 days, 3 we spent in London, a lot of smoking there, too. Plus a lot of cigarette butts on the ground.
My kids are shocked I didn't light up as soon as I got back home!! Me, too! Lol But I decided one day at a time, although at times it's one min/ hour!
Still hanging in, smoke free!
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Hello all, well the full moon was too much for me!!! I smoked 2 cigarettes the first morning after😢 I found the pack in the freezer, it was right on top!!! Then I went right back into the no smoking mindset! It's been a long time since I was affected so badly by the full moon.
Hope everyone is doing well!
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Meh, I can't do it on my own either. I want to, but seems the more I beat myself up, the more I want to smoke. Everyday I try to not light up one of my husbands brand (I don't buy them anymore for myself) -some days I succeed and others I do not. I am about 4-5 on the days I light up in the morning. On a morning that I don't smoke, I still come home and there he is, puffing away, I eventually give into the craving and end up having 1, most of the time 2. There is an occasional day I can go without, however I have yet to make it past 80 hrs.! LOL. So, this is still smoking! I will be picking a new quit date soon, and it will be with help this time (probably the Chantix) and we'll see what happens...……………..
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Hi Ladies, It is so great to hear all the good news ... and all the success without smoking .. It is the hardest thing to do especially when drinking ... I am hanging in there .. Smoking is not going to help me and I know that now .. but it took me smoking again after almost 3 years quit .. But I am back on track .. thank god for Chantix ... i can go through my day and night with ease .. and sometimes even skip a pill and not smoke ... welcome to any new members .. I try to stop by as often as I can .. but work and mom got me busy ... I will be having a hysterectomy September 17th .. I will be out of work and home on bed rest .. then I will have time to read and talk with everyone ... for now .. I gotta get in shower and head to Moms house and see what I need to take care of there .. lots of Hugs ....
xoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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ctm, I feel for you regarding your husband still smoking! I think you are doing great considering that and doing it on your own! Don't beat yourself up over it, guilt will sabotage you every time. Every cigarette you don't smoke is a step in the right direction!
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ctm - It's horrible trying to quit when people you live with are still smoking. Have you at least gotten him to agree to smoke outside? One of my friends got her husband to agree to that, but then he whined & whined that she didn't come out to sit & visit with him, so she started again. Still - I think it's great that you're down to one or two. I could never have even one without buying a new pack, so give yourself credit. Like LisaMarie - I couldn't have quit w/o Chantix.
Belle - I never thought about the moon. I'm going to start using that for all my misbehavior(s). But it's great that you only had two & went back to the not-smoking routine. And since you had the old pack in your freezer you didn't have to tear your hair out or give in to buying a new, full pack.
LisaMarie - great to have you popping in. Did you say you will be out 3 weeks after your surgery?
JUST FOR TODAY I WILL NOT SMOKE
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