Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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ok...day 226 for me here or translated to 7 months 7 days. It gets easier but the yearning still comes out every now and then.
I can't come here all the time 'cause you girls should be quitting. It isn't a support group for me cause as I struggled especially in the beginning, you girls are still smoking..what's up with that!! So come on..let's go..quit already!!!! I feel for the girls who come here for support and don't get it cause everyone (or..some) are still smoking....
Ok, I'll be back to see how many are getting on the wagon. love ya all...
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Candie: Good for you. I also am a quitter. Quit cold turkey 8/5/08. Almost a year and 4 months. I know it is hard to quit. And the biggest reason that I don't go back to smoking is because I had BC. Plus I know that one shouldn't be smoking while on tamoxifen. And that is the day that I quit, the day I started tamoxifen. It wasn't a question of me quitting because I wanted to. I felt as though I "had" to. These ladies on here need to get back on that wagon and get serious about quitting.
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I am not making excuses for myself or anyone else for not yet having quit smoking. For some it is easier than others. I have quit no less than 9 times and started smoking again. I tried everything on the market available. I am an addict - bottom line. Personally it helps me to be on this thread and it encourages me to quit even though many of us have tried and failed so many times. At least we are here talking to one another, trying to encourage one another instead of beating each other up for not having made that final step. I beat myself up enough over it emotionally that I feel worse when I am made to feel that I am a failure. I know I am a failure. I don't need it pointed out and put in front of my face. I have major issues with chemo brain and getting my thoughts out there so I wonder if I am really expressing my feelings as they are or are my words so jumbled up that nobody gets what I am trying to say.
I was in this thread from the very beginning while undergoing chemo. I quit for 17 days and started up again when the stress got to me. I then quit about 1 weeks ago for 6 days and then started up again. At least I am only smoking 2-3 cigarettes a day instead of 1/2 pack or more. Am I justifying my actions here? Heck yes!!
Try telling a alcoholic to just quit - won't happen - not easy. If they are really alcoholics they are also addicted and they struggle to not have that one drink that will put them back over the edge. It is the same with smoking.
I am jealous of those that can drink and smoke 1/2 pack in one night and then they don't touch another smoke for months.
Sorry, got a phone call - need to get back to ya'll later.
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Congrats to those who have quit and to all those attempting to quit. I am a hard core addict. Confronted with the BC issues during the last full year has been extremely painful. I have attempted to quit using many tools and I have attempted to quit more times than I can count. I wake up each day cursing the addiction. I would love to be smoking only a half pack a day. For me that would be a major VICTORY!! Smoking is like heroin for some. I have been so stressed trying to figure out surgery and reconstruction options and having a very sick child the last month. And yes my smoking has escalated...and yes it makes me physically sick..Does it mean I dont want to quit. I want desperately too STOP the INSANITY as Pantufas put so well. I am in such an emotional upset right now about BC and smoking so much I have thoughts of just saying F...ck it all. I'm done. Yes I am to the point where I am depressed. I know I will get out of it eventually.
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Very well said Jancie!
It has been a week shy of 7 months for me since I quit and when my MIL asked a few days ago how I was doing I told her 'ok, but there are days that I see someone smoking and I just want to knock them down, snatch their cigs and chain smoke like there is no tomorrow'..I think she got the the visual
It IS an addiction and I have been told by people who know that it is harder to kick then heroine/meth. I have a cousin who is a 'social' smoker and only smokes when she drinks, I am SOOOO JEALOUS!!! I have quit for up to 5 years and all it took was one cig and I was back to a pack a day within a week. Everyday I make the decision NOT to smoke, some days its easy and I don't even think about it, other days are alot harder to get through. Kudos to everyone who has quit and hugs of encouragement to those who keep trying!
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Cleomoon - extra big hugs coming your way! I have been there...pyhsically sick, depressed and the whole F#$! It attitude...Your time will come when and you will be able to STOP the INSANITY!
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Well said Jancie. Like we don't KNOW we have failed? Cleo--good to see you again! Much love to you.
Point taken, I'm out! Best of luck to the rest of you.
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well said o2bhealthy...I struggle every day too..love your line ..."ok,but there are days...". My sentiments exactly. I feel the urge very strong now as I am having hip replacement surgery soon and I am a nervous wreck! I just want you all to jump on the wagon.hold hands and lets do this!together we can do it and continue to be smoke free. Now I have to hope that I don't fall off the wagon.
hugs and prayers
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Thank you Michelle and Ellie...
((Hugs))
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Ladies this is a BC support thread that just happens to have the added support name of "stop smoking". It doesn't say we have stopped or will stop. I think that it is very important that ladies that are still smoking and have the want to, but can't quite make the next step come here for emotional support. Just as I think that it is important that those who have quit come here and remain quit give that emotional support because they understand how hard it is to quit and stay quit. I quit both times I was pregnant with my children and with my first child I stayed quit until he was about 9 months old (that was a total of 17 months I stayed quit). It was easy then because I didn't work and stayed at home with him and wasn't around anyone else that smoked. When I went back to work and it was on night shift as a nurse in a nursing home there was a lot of down time at times and it was during the days when we could smoke in the building so we smoked to stay awake, so I started back. I am on my way to quitting this nasty habit, although I have never smoked a pack or even a 1/2 pack a day, the most I have ever smoked is 3 packs a week. I am now down to less than one pack a week. I've smoked 1 cigarette in 2 days. This thread and you ladies here have really lent an ear and trully helped me. You are getting me to an emotional place that I can handle doing this BC thing without the smokes as a crutch. :=)
So no one else should come on here and slam us for what we are trying to do. I give a lot of props to Janice and to Ellie. Thanks for all the information and support that you have given to me in the short time I have been here.
Renee
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Hello Girls,
I've followed this thread since the beginning. Not much of a writer this is not my language, I just want to add that quitting is harder for some than others, I have met with people (at least four) that were very heavy smokers, like 3 to 4 packs a day, and they quit cold turkey without ever looking back and told me that they did not find it that hard, and stayed quit.
On the other hand I have periods when I may smoke 5 a day for months but then go to 15 a day for a few other months when I'm particularly stressed , even when at 5 a day quitting or trying was pure hell. People would tell me it won't be hard because your only smoking 5 a day, I did it and was smoking a lot more than you. Wrong, everybody is different, our body does not react the same way to the cravings, and it's not because I don't want, it's always on my mind, getting to be an obssession. The longest I went without smokes 7 months.Right now I am in a very stressed cannot work at it but maybe in a couple of months things will ease up and I'll give it another try.
So please do not juge people who are trying and did not quit yet, the good thing is they are thinking about it and that is the start. By the way I read that I think in France they are making studies about a vacine to help quit that seems successfull.
I enjoy reading this thread a lot and it helps to see I am not alone having a hard time quitting, and seeing the one that have acheived it.
Hang in
Welga
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Hi everyone....I've been reading your posts for a few weeks now. Didn't want to actually post anything because I knew I'd have to declare publicly that I need to QUIT, but don't know if I can. A few weeks ago, while waiting for biopsy results, I told my husband that no matter what the results (B9 or cancer) that I was quitting. Well, got the results Nov 12th (cancer) and I'm still smoking. I know I have to quit for a whole bunch of reasons, but frankly this (finding out I have cancer) is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life, and right now, smoking feels like a necessity.
Anyway, I'm scheduled for surgery Dec 15th (left mx and nodes) so kind of hoping that I'll feel crappy enough for a few days after surgery that I won't want to smoke, and maybe Dec 15th will end up being my surgery and QUIT DATE!! Am I deluding myself?? I hope not, because I'd really like one less thing to worry about.
Best to all of you as you continue to fight bc and this stupid smoking habit.
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Just to try to put some humor back in this thread or maybe this is just flat out pathetic.
But the ones that are truly addicts (like myself) will totally understand. You get home from surgery, you have been gone most of the day, you are a little bit out of it still on meds and what do you do? You think about having a smoke right then and there. You are lit up on Vicodin or some other pain med that is really strong which will make you nauseated and you might have some gastric acid come out of your mouth that is pretty rancid. It is only at THAT TIME that you put your cigarette out and think "I probably should have waited a couple more hours" Oh yes....and as you walk back to bed you have become extremely light headed, dizzy because of smoking that cigarette so you are hanging onto every wall possible as you crawl into bed.
True story - I have done this more times than I would like to admit.
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So you might wander what is up with me today? Well yesterday I had 4 smokes. Today I haven't had any.
However, what I want to do more than anything else is drive to Walgrens and get a pack so I can have my 2-3 smokes a day. It is 3:30 pm - not sure if I will make it through smokeless today or not - still too early to tell.
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Hey Jancie,
I hope u made it through the day without the trip to Walgreens. Your story rings true to me. I will share one of mine with you soon. Welcome Mich. Sorry you are here, and I wish you the best during surgery.Have you tried to quit before? There are lots of things you can do to begin to prepare for quitting before your surgery.Thanks Mimi and Welga for your kind sharing. Thinking of you both as you continue to tackle the nicotine beast.
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Wow- I'm busy taking care of my mom and we have so many newbies.
Welcome to all and I wish you the best of luck controlling your smoking. The strength to change a habit is within every woman, the key is finding what works for yourself. Try meditating, deep breathing, walking, chewing gum, etc. But be good to yourself, beating yourself up for smoking only causes more stress smoking and we all know a BC diagnosis does that all by itself.
Take one day at a time and keep telling yourself , I can do it, yes I can and am doing it. I am controling my body and my mind, not BC and not sticks. I pray for strength for each one of you.
On another note- insurance it is a FEderal Law, breast reconstruction by a breast reconstruction speacialist, to provide symetry, contour and body image may take more than one surgery. I have had to remind my insurance co that I am only on this reconstruction journey due to BC and they are required to provide a DR or pay for one I find if they do not have a speacialist in my plan.
Janzen you get right back here- you have helped so many of us thru this past year with your humor.
Cleomoon, o2b,fisfish glad your helping out the newbies.
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Welcome Welga and Mich! Quitting is really hard for some and easy for others. Welga, you write fine!!! And your post made me feel better so how is that for reaching out, awesome! Mich, I am making another quit time as I am going home for Christmas and NO ONE SMOKES. Of all the aids I have tried, in person meetings helped me the best but everyone is different. This time around I can't seem to figure out what will work for me but if I give up, it will never happen.
Thanks Malleme, you have made me feel a lot better. Nothing like being hear a year without not many caring to see you go. Fifish, I don't want to see you go! And I am sad for the ladies who are no longer posting because they do not feel at home anymore. But I guess it was bound to happen as what some of the gals have posted here has merit as we are all different. And because of that I will share my idea below.
I have posted since almost the beginning of this thread. I have tried to quit about 6-7 times and have failed. I was going to give up trying because I felt like I was getting kicked out and people have made me feel that I shouldn't be here. But I do want to quit and this thread helps keep that goal in mind instead of living my busy life and not have to think about it, which would be easy to put quitting aside. Not only that, I have had emotional support during BC and trying to quit smoking which was huge for me and I have made some really good friends, in fact one of them is living with me now. But I have to let you all know that I am hurt from what has been going on lately and I can't help feel that it is directed at me since I am one of the oldest still smoking members. And I know that Nancy ( Pantufas) is hurt and feels uncomfortable coming here and she is trying to quit right now without your support and that is a shame. I have been doing some thinking and the name of this thread, "Stop Smoking Support Thread" is a name that people can have room to make their own ideas what this thread is about and also about it's rules. So this will probably be an ongoing argument because people are looking for different kinds of support, and everyone comes here as it is the main support thread for the gals who want to quit. But obviously some may have different support needs, because of that I will be starting a new thread. It will be for those who are smoking and have BC, may or may not want to quit. I feel bad for the women who are smoking through BC and alone with their fears and most likely hiding and beating themselves up for smoking. Maybe if they had a place to post, they may even find the will to quit. Everyone is welcome and everyone is welcome to post in both threads.
The other thing is that if I am the one who starts the new thread, then I can go and and edit it and add helpful links or links to the new site. I would like to bring some of NA features to it. In NA, we had a topic for the day such as fears, hope, resentments, etc, and then open talk of whatever is on your mine and what you want to share. Which can be huge with all the things we deal with going through BC. It isn't just about quitting, it is also about identifying what makes you human and improving oneself which may help people quit or STAY QUIT, etc. Some people may not need this extra feature, but I do know it that it will help keep the thread more alive during slow times. I have to tell you that when people self disclosed at those meetings, they had some pretty funny stories. A lot of you know me with a crazy sense of humor but most all of us laughed at these stories. We were not there to judge as it was about perfect intentions and that can be a learning curve that takes time. Self disclosure also helps to make people more comfortable with themselves in their own skins, as they sometimes hear stories on what it REALLY means to be human. I do know that this thread is public so self disclosure will be less, but have another idea for that! But there are always limits too, which in any of those AA or NA, etc, is just shared with a sponsor.
This is not all about me, or that I am the leader, etc, it is about all of you! I know there may be times when we have our own disagreements and who knows, a new thread is born, lol. But no one will be made to feel bad if they are smoking and they will have a place to go if they still are. So I will think of a name and the paragraph to open that thread. Any ideas are awesome!! Will start it on Wed to give you all a chance to read this.
Hugs,
Janet
P.S. I am also thinking of giving people jobs such as the topic picker for the week. But that may be way down the road, or never. Being a part of a group makes people feel good and keeps them inline with their quit smoking program. I can also add a chat room to the site and maybe have a Sunday live meeting, etc. So many possibilities, let me know what you think and your ideas are. This website is also open to this thread as I value the different support needs that one may have. You may also email me at janetzingano@comcast.net0 -
Hi all
I've just read back a few pages of posts....a little surprised that a "stop smoking" support group could be so controversial. I think what's important, is that women are reading this thread because they want to quit (that's the first step), are having a hard time doing it, and need the support from others going through the same thing.
I'm 44 and have been a life-long smoker. I quit with my husband about 3 years ago for 6 months, until we both started again. He's been actively trying to quit since then, but his biggest problem is me!! I need to quit to help him be successful with this, I need to quit for my kids and I really, really need to quit for me.
Hoping we're all able to give it up soon!! All the best.
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Janzin....So glad your back...almost put me into a depression really youhave no idea how much you have supported me thru the worst past 11 months of my life. So what we have been on here for 11 months. Most of which we have supported each other and not judged. Why are we listening to those who are judging?????.
The new site sounds great let's get it going. call it "slim sticks with cancer" something like the mojo (sex) phase. use a play on words. "striving for strength" inhaling for life, "waiting to exhale for good".
Newbies welcome and there are so many women who have been on this site back and forth to support you in this journey. get ready to have fun and peace. Got to run
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Hi..wishing you all a good day...I am having high anxiety due to my upcoming surgery...hope I can do it without cigs...I have done so well, I dont want to screw it up now....day 228 (I need to constantly reinforce myself)
hugs and prayers
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Janzin,
I spoke from my heart. I love what you did with this thread, I love your designs (I also use to work with Illustrator and a little photoshop) and love reading you, pantufla and all the others.
you are full of good ideas, don't give up, you are helping a lot of people and we can fell how much you care. There will always be somebody that will not agree with you or others, but don't worry about it, it happens in other threads too.
I do not write a lot, because only a few lines will take me lot's of time, I don't have much concentration and it's not my language as I said before. I will keep looking for support on this group and even if I'm quiet I am here everyday.
glad to see you back
Welga
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Candie ~ day 228...woohoo!! You and others that have quit are my inspiration.
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Candie you hang in there. I just had my 2nd exchange surgery Nov 24th I know it's so hard but just take a deep breath and say a prayer. This too shall pass, .......I know it tough but your our hero...stop can you feel that. I'm sending you big cyber hugs.....When is your surgery again?
Hello Welga and....Please newbies remember that I have chemo brain still...If I do not say your name it's not cause I mean to leave anyone out.....
Thought for the Day-----Today's going to be a Great Day....Believe and you can Achieve
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Jancie and other ladies: I read your post of Nov. 28 and realize that what I posted didn't come out right. I know you's are all trying so very hard to quit and understand all the hurdles one goes through when quitting. I only meant that cancer and smoking don't go together and I don't want any of us getting another cancer from smoking. I know not everyone can quit and it may take numerous times to quit. I smoked for 35 years. So my apologies for my post coming out like you's aren't trying because I know that you's all are.
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malleme,
Hi, I understatnd chemo brain is with me all the time, I don't mention names either this way I don't get mixed up lolll......
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kk69z - all is well now - thanks for the post. We at times because of chemo brain or just being here IRL don't always get our thoughts across in the intended fashion.
Janzin - I read your nice long post - I am in!! But I have to admit the entire time I was reading the suggestions on what to call the thread the only thing that kept coming to mind was "But, I didn't inhale" sorry, but I am still laughing my butt off as I type this.
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Malleme, thank you for your encouraging words. My surgery is Dec 16th. I take a xanax a day for an old anxiety disorder I have... I am thinking I should go to 2 a day just until the surgery ..might keep me feeling better and not so anxious. Like the thought of the day too.
hugs and prayers
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cleomom
I wish you well also on your future effots in quitting. I totally understand what stress can do and make you fell like towards cigarettes, and the envy we have looking at the ones that don't smoke, it's crazy and unexplainable, when I watch TV I spend my time asking myself ''I wonder if that person smokes or not she or he has such stamina and good skin, I'm sure he does not because he would not have so much energy and good looks''. crazy addiction indeed to make our minds wonder like that.....
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Welga, the hoot of it all is I LIKE to smoke....but I did quit!! That is why I miss it at times!! I wish it wasn't so dangerous or expensive, either!
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Candi you also might ask about the valium that seemed to work. I to had already been taking Xanax for anxiety a lot of us have. Guess our lives were already stressed before BC. Now Dec 16th is going to be ok. Keep yourself busy yet keep breathing and have a cup of tea. Oh that is one thing that calms the nerves is tea not coffee. I recently started the coffee again due to my impending surgery and realized it really made me jittery so back to tea and I am alot calmer.
Ladies we need a positive thought for each day this month. Something we can repeat in our minds all day long to get us thru the day.
Cleo I wonder the same things too funny
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